Change: A Journey of Struggle
by Nestaron
Summary: Non-Canon/Slash: Edward meets Jasper during his rebellious youth. A shared struggle draws them together as they fight to overcome their nature, and find love. What secrets are hidden in Jasper's past? And can Edward help him through his discovery? UPDATE: All chapters were re-uploaded on 6/13/12 with various grammar fixes, etc.
1. Rare Change

**A/N:** All Chapters have been re-uploaded with numerous grammar, spelling, and story consistency changes. The story has not been beta so all mistakes are my own.

**In-Regards to Lemons/Sexual Content:** All Lemons/Graphic Sexual Content in the story have been removed. If you want to read them you will need to go to TWCS. There is a link in my Author's Profile to the listing of all my stories on that site. You will also find all current Outtakes on TWCS.

**Story Details: **This story is slash, M/M relationship between Jasper & Edward.

**Chapter One: Rare Change**

Three weeks was too long a time for any vampire to go without feeding. I was starting to feel like I was losing my mind, but the very thought of taking another human life is something that I can't stomach. I am also an empathy, which makes taking human life much more difficult for me. I know that if I don't feed soon that I will lose my mind completely and turn feral. This outcome would be far worse then taking another life. It would expose me to the humans, and in my weaken state I'd leave a trail of dead behind me.

_Curse my empathic abilities. _I had to feel them dying in my arms as I drank their life-giving essence. I didn't want this life, but I as good at it. I had survived the odds and had lived through many battles. I had the scars to prove it; they covered my body completely in crescent shapes that crisscrossed my skin. I hated looking at my body in a mirror, and I especially did not like the look of my red eyes. Thankfully my red eyes were the only unappealing feature of my face, other then two small scars. One scar was located on my jaw near the right side of my chin and the other above my left eye.

The humans found me '_beautiful'_ and were drawn to me. It made me feel sick to think that this beauty they saw would lead to their death. Each time I hunted I fell into a deep depression that would take several days to a week, sometimes longer, to pull myself out. I had hoped when I left Maria a year ago that my depression would pass, but it had not changed. Each and every time I hunted I fell into this accursed depression. I knew it was because I could feel my prey dying in my arms. Feel the fear, the terror as they felt their life drain from their body.

'_This was all Maria's fault,'_ my thoughts screamed.

If she had not changed me, I would not be this monster. I started thinking of ways to kill her and make it painful if I should ever cross her path again.

'_Maybe I will just leave her scarred instead of'_ - my thoughts were interrupted as the air was violently expelled from my body and I was tackled to the ground. I was about to retaliate when my attacker stopped.

He was suddenly very confused, why I don't know. He looked to be in his late teens with an unusual bronze colored hair; his eyes were black with thirst but filled with confusion.

'_Why was he confused, and why did he stop attacking me? He had to know that I was a vampire like him.'_

"I thought you were human," He said. It was as if he were answering the question in my thoughts. He nodded and then I was confused.

"I can read minds. I thought you were human before I attacked you. I heard your thoughts about killing Maria. I don't feed on the innocent ones," He said.

I was furious now; this child had been listening in on my private thoughts. I throw him off of me and pounce on him in the same second.

"Please, I'm sorry. It's not something I can control," He begged.

I stopped my own attack and sighed. I wasn't that monster anymore, and he did not have the ability to control whose thoughts he heard; just like I did not have the control over whose emotions I felt. I stood and extended my hand to help him up, he hesitated to take it.

"I'm sorry. I should not have reacted that way. It's been three weeks since I last hunted and I'm lacking in control at the moment," I said.

"It's been two for me," He said grimly as he extended his hand to take mine.

I was about to ask why he was suddenly feeling disgust, anguish and guilt when I felt an electric shock shot through my hand and up my arm from his touch. Both of us quickly released each other's hand and just stared at one another.

'Did he just do that? It was quite obvious that he at least felt it.'

"That... that was not me. At least I do not think that was not me," He said to answer my thoughts.

'Okay that is going to get annoying.'

"Sorry, I can't help it when I'm this hungry." he replied.

I ran a hand through my blond curly hair and sighed. We both stood there and stared at each other for a moment.

"Edward."

I raised an eyebrow.

"My name," he clarified.

"Oh, Jasper," I said.

"Nice to meet you Jasper, and um… sorry about the tackle," Edward smiled. He had a very alluring crooked smile that I couldn't help by admire.

"Its fine, but I would advise against doing that again. You might end up with a missing limb or two," I replied.

"I like my limbs attach, so you need not worry it won't happen again," Edward replied seriously.

"Are you on your own?" I asked. I felt a wave of sadness roll off of him but when I looked at his face he was stoic.

"I've been on my own for almost four years," he finally answered.

I felt his deep pain. 'Was he sad to be alone? Why was he alone?'

Edward did not answer this time, but turned to leave. I'm not sure why but I suddenly felt the urge to comfort him. I place a hand on his shoulder, the electricity from earlier was back but I did not remove my hand.

"Edward, are you alright? I can feel your sadness and pain."

"I'm fine," he said sharply and shrugged off my hand.

"No, you are not," I countered.

Edward spun around to face me and I was shocked by the sudden anger in his eyes, but his most dominate feeling was helplessness and a feeling of being alone. The emotion was so raw and intense that it took me a moment to keep from falling to my knees. I had felt intense emotions before, but never this sudden.

Edward must have read my thoughts because he took an unneeded deep breath to calm himself. "I'm sorry. It's just a long and sad story that you do not need to trouble yourself with. I may not look it but I am old enough to take care of myself."

"I am not disputing that you can take care of yourself Edward. I am just offering to help . . . to listen," I replied.

Edward sighed, "Fine, but not here. We should also probably hunt first."

I nodded. I did not know how much control I would need to make it through his story if all his emotions were going to be so intense.

"Sorry about that, I'll try to keep better control of them," Edward replied.

"It's fine; after I feed I'll be better able to control my reactions," I said.

Edward was quiet for a moment, "Do you mind if I pick out the prey? I don't feed on the innocent ones; I prefer to go after the 'human monsters'." Edwards chuckled darkly.

I nodded.

Edward closed his eyes and I assumed he was listening to the human minds around us; he was looking for a specific type of mind.

Edward opened his eyes, and they were burning with rage.

"Two men," He said through clenched teeth.

I nodded.

"They are following a young lady who just left the restaurant across the street and two blocks over," He continued to speak through his teeth.

I could also feel the rage rolling off of Edward as he read their minds. He had quite the temper.

"They are going to…" - I interrupted him, "We will stop them before they can do anything to her," I said.

"We need to get across the street. We can move faster in the back alleys," Edward said. He had slightly more control of his voice.

He must be planning the hunt, which took his mind's focus away from our intended prey. Edward nodded at this and I followed him as we walked quickly at human speed out of the alley we were in and across the street to another.

"Edward, we need to do this before they get to her if you want her to live," I said. We couldn't take the change that she would see us in our true nature, and I couldn't guarantee that when the bloodlust took over that I could keep myself from feeding on her as well.

"We will not make it; they are nearly to her." Edward voice was urgent, almost desperate.

"I do not have a lot of control when I hunt," I said.

Edward suddenly changed course and scaled a nearby building, I followed after him.

"They are going to take her down an alley a block over. You will drop down behind them so that the street light will just catch you slightly from the side. One of the men should challenge you; he's yours. I'll drop down beside the other man and the girl. I'll tell her to run and make sure she understands to run quickly and not look back," Edward explained his plan.

"Edward if she sees us kill them…," - Edward interrupted, - "I know, but we will need to pull them deeper into the alley."

"Fine, but if she sees or suspects anything Edward I want you to tell me. Do I make myself clear?" I said sternly.

Edward hesitated, but then nodded. He would tell me, I could tell from his emotions.

"There." Edward said as point them out.

We had raced across the roof tops until we had reached the intended alley. They had just grabbed the girl and were pulling her down the alley. The man who was holding her was whispering in her ear that she was going to enjoy this just as much as they would. It made me sick to hear the things this sadistic bastard was saying. I could feel Edward's temper flaring again; he could also hear them.

"Now," Edward said when they reached the middle of the alley. I dropped down behind them without a sound.

"Let her go," I nearly growled. I realized now why Edward wanted me to drop down in this location. The light from the street lamps spread a slight glow around my body, giving me an almost ethereal appearance.

The men were startled but quickly recovered.

"You should leave before you get hurt boy," The bigger man said. I smiled at that useless threat, but he had no idea that he was facing a vampire and his death.

I laughed, "Are you going to be the one to hurt me?"

The man pulled out a knife and flicked it open. "I'm going to enjoy gutting you."

I just smirked, but I was anxious to see the look on his face when that knife broke on impact with my hard indestructible body. Edward dropped down a moment later beside the other man and woman.

"You really should have listened," Edward growled at the man.

He then grabbed the arm the man had around the woman and pulled it off of her. Turning to the woman Edward spoke sternly and clearly, "Run, do not look back…" The woman nodded, "Thank you," She said and ran quickly past me and back on the street, she did not look back.

I leapt the distance between my prey and me, grabbing him. He thrust the knife to my chest and the blade broken and shattered. I laughed quietly as I pulled him into the dark and bit into his neck. I heard Edward do the same. At first the man whom I was feeding upon felt angry that the girl had gotten away and toward me for helping her escape, but those shift suddenly to pure terror as he watched the knife break and then it heightened when he felt my teeth sink into his flesh. It took all my control to hold on to him and drain him completely. I felt disgusted with myself afterward, though the man was a criminal and deserved death. I still had to feel his emotions while he died.

I was shocked to feel disgust and guilt coming from Edward moments later.

'_Why would he have such feelings?'_

"I can hear their last thoughts," Edward replied to my unspoken question.

I think I now understood why he had felt so much guilt earlier in the night.

"I should never have left. Carlisle was right," Edward whispered to himself. There was pain in his voice.

"Edward?"

Edward shook his head, "We need to dispose of the bodies. I will explain later."

I nodded and we set about disposed of the bodies.

"It will be dawn soon. I know a place we can go to keep out of the sun," Edward offered.

"Lead the way," I replied.

We ran part of the way through the back alleys at vampire speed, but had to slow when we got to a nicer part of the city. After a dozen blocks Edward led us around back of a modest sized two story red brick house. I could not be sure but I thought I saw Edward pull a key from his pocket and unlock the door. I was not paying attention to him at the time, but admiring the turn of the century house. Edward ushered me in and then closed and locked the door behind him.

"I assume the owners will not be back anytime soon?" I asked, but Edward did not answer.

He led us to a sitting room that was nicely furnished, but had a fine layer of dust, but most of the furniture was cover with white sheets to protect it. Whoever the owners were, they had been gone for sometime. Edward drew the curtains and then took a seat on an uncovered sofa. I sat across from him on another uncovered chair.

"This is…" Edward began, but changed his mind about what he was going to say.

"This was the home of my human parents before they died."

"I'm sorry," I said.

Edward's emotions changed from calm to pain, sorrow, hurt, lost and finally acceptance. They were a jumbled mess and their intensity was also varied. For the second time in less then a day I felt the urge to comfort Edward. To take away his pain and tell him that everything would be alright, even thought I didn't know what the cause was of his pain or how to fix it. I moved to sit beside Edward and tentatively place an arm around his shoulder. Edward leaned into me and rested his head on my shoulder and began to sob quietly.

I was at a lost for what to do or how to comfort him. I had never been in this type of situation before. I may be an empath but my emotional experiences have been very limited. I was not sure if he would be angry if I used my gift to calm him or if this emotional release is what he needed. My mind debating the thought for several seconds before I finally decided that maybe Edward needed to get this out of his system on his own and that I should just hold him and listen when he was ready to speak.

I was not paying attention to the passage of time. However, during that time the light outside grows brighter until the yellow rays of the sun streamed through the edges of the curtains.

"I miss them so much," Edward whispered quietly. His sobbing had stopped and he gently lifted his head off my shoulder.

"Thank you."

"I am not sure I have done anything to deserve thanks," I replied tentatively.

"I have needed to get that out of my system for a long time, Jasper. You let me do that and you offered your support. I want to tell you my story; that is if you are still willing to listen," Edward said softly.

"I am listening." I answered, and with that Edward began to speak.

_In 1918 the influenza hit here in Chicago. My father was among the first wave of people to get sick. At the time no one knew how deadly this illness would turn out. He had a very high fever when he was admitted to the hospital. He went to sleep and never woke up again._

_It was September when I became sick with the influenza, and my mother became sick with it at the same time; but it had not hit her as badly as it had me. We were admitted to the hospital together. There were not enough nurses or doctors to care for all the patients and so my mother nursed me herself. In her vain attempt to save me it cost her, her life._

_There was a doctor who had become attached to my mother and me. I remembered that he had treated my father and had tried unsuccessfully to save him. During his shifts he made sure that my mother and I were looked after and spent a little extra time with us._

_He was very handsome, with blond hair and golden eyes. His name was Carlisle Cullen. Dr. Cullen was constantly trying to persuade my mother to rest, so that she would not put her own health in jeopardy. She adamantly refused and would not leave my side unless he took over nursing me, which he did on many occasions._

_The fever and sickness were raging through my body and making me slip in and out of consciousness. I was barely aware of what was going on around me much of the time. My mother was fully aware of what was going on around us and she was very perceptive. She knew that the majority of patients in my current state did not survive the illness and she refused to let me die. Her efforts most likely kept me alive longer then other patients in a similar state._

_Dr. Cullen always worked the night shift and I remember vaguely my last night in the hospital. He had come to see my mother and I immediately upon his arrival. We were always the first and last patients he saw during his shifts._

_I remember him coming in and my mother speaking in a firm voice telling him to save me. My own memory of the event is very vague, but from what I learned later my mother must have figured out that Dr. Cullen was not human._

_Her dying wish was that he save me the only way he could. 'What others cannot do, this is what you must do for my Edward.' I remember waking for a brief movement and having the sensation of traveling at a very fast speed and the air around me was very cold._

_I awoke with a loud scream as a burning pain course through my body; it was the most excruciating pain I ever felt. I thought I was being burned alive and was screaming for someone to kill me. I remember clearly hearing Dr. Cullen's voice telling me that it would be over soon and that I would not be sick anymore. He said it was her dying wish and he was sorry for the pain that I was going through. The pain was so intense that I did not care what he was saying. I just wanted the pain, the burning, to stop._

Edward was still leaning into me, but lifted his gaze from the floor to my face. Edward was calm, which surprised me. I looked into his eyes and could see deep inside that he had accepted what had happened.

"I don't know if she knew that Carlisle was a vampire or if she just knew he was not human and that he could some how save me."

Edward looked back to the floor and continued his story.

_I was angry with Carlisle at first, and I did not understand what happened. I was confused and to make matters worse I could hear his thoughts. I did not know yet that I could read minds and his thoughts only made me angrier as he tried to figure out how to explain everything to me, keep me calm, and analysis my behavior._

_After a lot of yelling, mostly from me, Carlisle figured out I could read minds. He promised to explain everything if I would try to remain calm. When he told me he had turned me into a vampire I nearly lost all control. I was furious that he had turned me into a monster and damned me to an eternity of hell. Carlisle told me I did not have to be a monster, I doubted him at first, but I let him continue his explanation._

_He told me that he had never once feed on or hunted humans and that he survived on the blood of animals. That was why his eyes were gold and not red. It was also why he was able to be a doctor and help humans instead of killing them. Carlisle is a truly compassionate being and believes in his ideals of not hunting humans, even the criminals._

Edward turned to look at me again and I was shocked. My mind was filled with dozens of questions that I wanted to ask.

'Do animals have emotions when they die? Could he teach me how to hunt animals? What does animal blood taste like? What...'

Edward chuckled lightly, "I'll answer your questions when I'm done with my story."

I nodded, pleased that he would humor me.

_I followed Carlisle and his ideals. It was hard to disagree with him. After all he had over two-hundred years of experience and knowledge to counter each of my arguments. I did not want to kill humans at first that came much later. At first our discussions, or debates you might call them, centered on being a monster or our lack of a soul. Carlisle of course disagreed with all my arguments but I did not give in on some of my beliefs._

_Carlisle told me his story and why he practiced medicine, why he did not kill humans and why he changed me. You see Carlisle had been alone for most of his life as a vampire with the exception of a brief stay with the Volturi. Aro had been quite fond of Carlisle and considers him a friend, even to this day._

I was now very intrigued and was curious to meet Carlisle. He seemed like an extraordinary vampire. I had never met any vampire, or human that compared to what Edward was telling me about him. I had heard stories of the Volturi, the vampire royal family who enforced our laws, but I had never met any vampire from their coven. I had a dozen more questions fill my now very active mind. Edward sensing my growing curiosity said he was nearly finished with his story.

_As I said Carlisle was alone and part of why he changed me was because he wanted a companion. Someone who he could talk to and discuss ideas with and who would know his true nature. He at first looked for a companion who shared his ideals and his lifestyle of not feeding on humans among our kind. When he found no one who shared those ideals he decide that he would create a companion, but he was loathsome to steal a life such as the way his had been stolen._

_He knew after my mother had died that I was alone and that is why he chose me. My mother helped him decide with her dying wish, but Carlisle also said he acted out of selfishness and a desire to have a friend. I viewed Carlisle as my father and he came to view me as his son. He did tell me that if he could have ever had a son he would have wanted him to be like me._

"I doubt he feels that way now, not after what happened when I left." Edward said.

Edward paused and I felt so much pain, guilt, sorrow, and loneliness flow from him it was almost crippling. I had the need to pull Edward tightly against me and I did so. Edward leaned into me more and rested his head on my shoulder again.

"Sorry... I really hurt Carlisle with my words. I told him that it was his fault that I had this thirst that I could not sedate. I told him it was his fault I was this monster, that I had lost my soul and that I would never see my human parents in the next life because there was no afterlife for me," Edward said.

"Now it is too late to take it back," Edward sighed.

_In 1921 Carlisle found Esme barely alive in the morgue at the hospital he was working at in Ashland Wisconsin. We had moved there after leaving Chicago behind. Carlisle had met Esme once before in 1911 while he was working in a small clinic in Columbus Ohio. She had fallen out of a tree and broken her leg. He had felt a connection to her then, but she was only sixteen at the time and Carlisle was confused by his feelings for her. He was moving in a month and did not see her again until he found her in the morgue._

_She had fallen from a cliff and they left her for dead when she was brought to the hospital. Carlisle raced home with her and changed her. I was angry with him for not having asked me if I was ok with him changing her. I was being selfish at the time and was afraid that I would lose my 'time' with Carlisle because of her._

_I could not stay angry with Carlisle for having saved the woman he loved. It turned out that Esme was probably the best thing to happen to Carlisle and me. She took on the role of a loving mother for me. It was a role that I did not know I needed filled until she stepped into it. We became a family, or as close to a real family as is possible for our kind. To the outside world I was Carlisle's brother, but at home I was their son and they were my parents._

_Carlisle never treated us like a coven of vampires. He treated us like a family and we each had an equal say in important decisions. We moved to St. Paul Minnesota shortly after Esme joined the family. Carlisle got a job at the hospital and I started taking correspondence studies in medicine. I had thought of following in Carlisle foot steps and becoming a doctor like him._

Edward paused again and his pain spike for a moment before ebbing again slowly. I held him tighter against me until he started speaking again.

_Esme eventually told us about her past after having met Carlisle in 1911. He was always on her mind and she wondered what had happened to him after he had left Columbus. There had been a connection there on her side as well. She eventually married a man by the name of Charles Evenson._

I was shocked to feel Edward's emotions changed to rage and anger. I was about to question this when Edward continued speaking.

_Charles was a horrible husband and he would beat Esme. Her own family turned a blind eye to it and told her she needed to be a better wife. Charles had gone off to war and Esme was under the impression he had died. She had moved to Ashland Wisconsin to stay with a cousin. She was also pregnant with his child and was due soon. She had a son, but he died shortly after he was born. It was a few days later that Carlisle found her._

I suddenly realized that Esme did not '_fall'_ from a cliff as Edward had said, but had most likely thrown herself from the cliff. Edward stiffened for just a moment beside me, which confirmed my thoughts. Edward sighed, but decided to continue his story.

_It was at this time that I starting having thoughts of using my gift of reading minds to hunt the human monsters who commit such horrible acts. The truth was that I was annoyed with Carlisle for curbing my appetite and I was just looking for an excuse to sedate my thirst that no matter how much animal blood I drank never went away._

_I tried to reason with Carlisle at first explaining why I thought I could do this and that my gift would be important in passing over the innocent ones and only hunting those who were only slightly less worse monsters then I. I thought that I would be free of the guilt. If I followed a man down a dark alley where he was going to rape and murder a young girl then surely I was doing something good by saving her life._

_Sadly my human arrogance was one of my many traits that became amplified with my change; that and my temper seem to get the better of me at times and of course it happened during that conversation with Carlisle._

The pain from earlier filled the room with crippling intensity that I found it difficult to breathe. I hugged Edward tighter to my body and sent him an intense wave of calm. He settled against me and continued his story.

_I said some very horrible things to Carlisle, thing that I regret and wish I could take back. I saw the hurt on his face and in his eyes; the pain I caused by my words. Carlisle did not stop me from leaving after that, but Esme tried and I told that it was best for me to leave. I told her I needed to do this and left._

_Carlisle was right, and I was wrong. Every life is precious and should not be taken away no matter what a person has done. There will be a time for them to answer for their actions and it is not my place to play God._

Edward pulled away from me and then he stood before leaving the room. Part of me wanted to follow after him, but I was frozen in place. I just sat there staring off into space. I was absorbing everything Edward had shared with me. It was the sound of a piano being played in another room that woke me from my daze. I stood and followed the sound down the hallways and to another room.

Edward was seated at the piano and was playing a song that I'd never heard before; not that my knowledge of music was very vast to begin.

"It's Pachelbel's Cannon. It was composed pre-1700 hundreds and published in 1919 after having been lost for centuries," Edward said.

The music was relaxing. I continued to listen as Edward played the song to its finish. I was impressed that he knew how to play the piano.

"My mother taught me how to play. I of course protested at first, but grew to love playing. This piece is one of Esme's favorites. I think my mother would have enjoyed it as well," Edward said softly.

"Do you know any others?" I asked.

I felt stupid for asking that question after hearing Edward play several more songs that seemed to be far more complex. I just sat and listed to him play several pieces.

"Do you think me a fool for having left them?" Edward finally asked. He sat on the piano bench facing me.

'Did I think him a fool? No not a fool,' I thought.

Edward raised an eyebrow questioning my thoughts.

"Sometimes people do not know what they have until it is gone," I began to explain.

Edward made to speak, but stopped as if contemplating what I had said. "That maybe true, but does that not make me a fool for having decided to leave it behind?" He finally asked.

"No, because you did not know what you had until you left it. You are only a fool if, now that you have this knowledge, you do not go back and try to regain what you once had," I answered.

"It is not that easy," Edward replied simply.

'It is too that easy, stop being so stubborn!' I thought, but did not give him time to reply as I launched into my explanation.

"I heard a story once of a man who had two sons. The younger of which demanded his inheritance while his father was still living. He goes off on his own and wastes his inheritance on riotous living. Eventually the son has to take on a job that is the worse of the worse. There he comes to his senses and decides to return home and throw himself on his father's mercy, thinking that even if his father disowns him that being one of his servants is a far better left then the one he now leads. When he returns home, his father greets him with open arms and hardly gives him a chance to repent. He celebrates his return by killing the fattest calf. The older brother resents the favored treatment and complains of the lack of reward for his faithfulness to which the father replies: 'My son, you are always with me and everything I have is yours. But we have to celebrate and be glad for this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' (- Luke 15:31-32)" I said.

It was the story of the prodigal son returned home to his father. Edward sat there and stares at me, most likely trying to find a way to argue against what I was suggesting.

"What if he does not forgive me," Edward finally said.

"You said in your story that Carlisle was a very compassionate being. I think that even though what you said to him was hurtful that he has forgiven you already. Forever is a long time to hold a grudge, Edward. From what little you have told me of Carlisle I do not think he is the type to withhold his forgiveness. In fact I would wager he would be much more willing to give it then you seem to think," I replied.

Edward stayed silent. I think he knew I had made my point and that only his stubbornness was holding him back from making the journey. "If it will help, I will go with you. If he turns you away then you are welcome to stay with me," I offered.

"What will you do if they let me stay?" Edward asked.

This was one thing I had not full thought out yet, but it did lead me back to the dozen or so questions I had from earlier.

"Which question do you want me to answer first?" Edward asked.

"I think I need to tell you a bit about myself first," I said.

Edward moved from the piano bench to sit beside me on the sofa I had taken a seat on while he was playing earlier. "You first need to understand that I am not the person I once was, in more ways then one," I said.

Edward nodded, "I will keep an open mind."

_I was born in 1843 in Houston Texas. When I was sixteen I joined the Confederate Army. I lied about my age and said I was twenty, they did not question me because I was tall for my age. When I spoke people listened to me, my father said it was charisma; but now I know it was something different._

_I can sense and manipulate the emotions of others. It was likely that I had this ability as a human, but it was probably passive at the time and not active like it is now._

_I rose through the ranks of the army quickly and soon I was the youngest Major in all of Texas, not even admitting my true age. I had a very promising career ahead of me. It was the late part of 1862 by this time and it was also the year I was changed. I was place in charge of evacuating the women and children from Galveston to Houston. It had taken the whole day to get everyone organized and the first group conveyed to Houston. It was dark by the time we got there and I did not want to wait around. I trade my horse for a fresh one and headed back to Galveston to prepare the next group to leave at first light. I came upon three women on my way back. At first I thought they were stragglers. They were the three most beautiful women I had ever seen and I am sure if they had been part of the first group I would have remembered them. Their names were Maria, Lucy and Nette; Maria was the leader of the group._

_I was awestruck by them and pretty much frozen in place by their beauty. I awoke three days later; Maria had changed me. She was building an army of vampires to take back her territory and she was looking for specific men, mostly soldiers._

_You see in the south it is war, constant war. The vampires constantly fight over the human population centers. Maria had lost her territory of Monterrey and she wanted it back._

I spent the next hour recounting my time with Maria to Edward. I decide to show Edward the reminders of my many battles.

I slowly began to unbutton my shirt, "I wear long sleeve shirts for a reason," I said as I finished unfastening my shirt. I slowly pulled my shirt open while watching Edwards face.

It took a moment for Edward to make out the crescent shapes. I felt the fury rising within him as he asked, "Who did this to you, Jasper?"

"It doesn't matter they are all dead," I replied. 'Well almost all, Maria was still alive and responsible for one of the marks on my neck,' I added as an after thought.

Edward hesitantly reached out and traced one of the scars on my chest. The electricity from our earlier encounter had returned and seemed even more intense.

"I'm sorry, they make me look disgusting," I said.

Edward shook his head. "I disagree. I think they show your strength, determination and courage." He continued to tracing the scars one by one. I shivered from the touch and the electrical charge flowing through his hand into my chest was becoming overwhelming.

"Sorry," Edward said pulling his hand away.

"You have no reason to be sorry. I am not sure if I can explain it properly, but that felt amazing. No one has ever done that before," I said.

"I am not sure if I can explain what I am feeling right now, but I feel drawn to you," Edward said.

"I feel drawn to you too, Edward. I am not sure why, and I have never felt this way before. I have reached out several times in less then a day to comfort you and I have never done that for anyone before," I said.

"Maybe Carlisle could explain it," Edward said.

"Maybe, but that would require you being willing to go see him," I said pointedly.

Edward frowns at that comment. "You were going to tell me about why you left Maria," he said changing the subject.

I thought about protesting for a minute, but figured I should finish my story. I still had my questions I wanted to ask and the sooner I finish my story, the sooner I may get my answers.

_The last few months before I left Maria I had been slipping into a deep depression. At the time I was not sure what was causing it, but I was not a good person to be around and it was upsetting Maria. Before I left her, I started getting feelings from her like those I had from Nette and Lucy before they betray Maria and me. I had to make a decision on whether I was willing to kill Maria if it came down to it. No matter how much I hate her for what happened to me I did not think I could kill her. I decide instead it would be better to leave._

_I waited until she went away with most of the newborns to check on the southern border of our territory. I left the following night taking what few possessions I had and ran as far north as I could before dawn. I spent the next month looking over my shoulder waiting for her to show up. Thankfully she never did and I avoid the south now. I am sure that one day she will probably come looking for me, but until then I will not worry about it._

_I have been away from her for a year. I had hoped that the separation would ease my depression but it seemed to get worse, especially after I have hunted. I have tried hunting less, but I get too hungry. After a life of 'rewards' it is very hard to go without for any significant length of time. I realized that my depression was caused by feeling my prey dying in my arms. Hunting less made things worse because then I needed to kill more to sedate the thirst._

I looked over at Edward who was now holding my right hand and running circles on the back of it with his thumb; it had an amazing calming effect on me.

"I felt the same emotions I feel after feeding come from you tonight," I said.

"I can hear their thoughts. I have tried to block them out, but I have not been able too," Edward said grimly.

"I am not able to block their feelings or change them. They are so intense, especially the feeling of terror," I replied.

"Have you ever tired to feed off of animals?" Edward asked.

"No, until you mentioned it today I had never heard of such an idea," I replied.

"I have never felt the way I do after hunting human when I use to hunt animals. They do not have any dying thoughts," Edward said.

"I wonder if I would feel the same or not," I said.

"This is something that we need to seriously discuss. If I am going to go back to Carlisle begging for forgiveness and asking him to take me back, then I want you to come with me. I also would like it if you stayed if he is willing to accept me back," Edward said.

"I do not think they would want me around Edward, not with my past," I said.

"I thought you were the one arguing that Carlisle's compassion would win out? Beside I think that you and he would have some interesting debates and discussions," Edward argued.

I frowned at him. "There is a difference here, Edward. Carlisle did not create me and has no ties to me. He would be less likely to trust me or that I would follow his ways," I argued back.

"I thought about that. I no longer want to be that monster that I so feared when I was first changed. I thought when I started this that I could be different. Tonight's hunt finally made me realize that even with this gift I am no better then any other killer. I think it is time for a change and I also think that you too are ready for a change," Edward said.

"I am sick of the killing and the depression," I paused, took a deep breath and then continued. "I am willing to try, but Edward you have to understand that I have killed thousands of people and not just the guilty ones. I have been that monster that you loath for more than sixty years."

"That may all be true, but I have seen in less the twenty-four hours a different side of you," Edward disagreed.

"I am not disputing any of that Edward. I am ready for a change but I am worried about what happens when I slip up," I said.

"What do you mean?" Edward asked. I could feel his confusion.

"I mean that when I slipped up, and I will slip up Edward. You have said that animal blood does not sedate your thirst. I gather that means it will take time to learn control. I fear that after being allowed to stay that they would ask me to leave when I do slip up," I confessed.

Edward opened his mouth to protest, but I held up my hand. "Edward, today was the first day that I have not felt depressed after hunting, at least not until I just started to think about it. I have been on this emotional roller coaster ride with you all day. I have felt everything from your pain to your pride and happiness. All my life as a vampire I have been surrounded by nothing but feelings of bloodlust, anger, greed, sexual lust and many other feelings and rarely have any of them ever been happiness, joy, calm... love, or anything at all that is uplifting," I said.

I took an unneeded deep breath. "The way you speak of your life with Carlisle and Esme makes me think that it would be a joyful, happy and wonderful place to be emotionally. To have that ripped away if I slipped up would be devastating to me," I said.

"Carlisle would not send you away. Esme has slipped up in the past and he has never sent her away or punished her for slipping up," Edward argued.

"Esme is Carlisle's mate, and there is a major difference there," I stated.

"I disagree. I have already told you that we were… are, a family and family does not abandon each other because we make a mistake," Edward said.

"Here I thought you were the one that needed convincing to go back to your family," I smirked.

"Stop changing the subject. I am willing to go back, but only if you come with me and if you agree to stay. If they are willing to forgive me," Edward replied. I could tell by his tone that he was skeptical about those prospects.

"I told you I would be willing to go," I replied.

"Yes, but you have not agreed to stay yet," Edward replied giving me a pointed looked.

I took a deep breath and sighed. "Alright, I will stay but if this does not work out." - Edward interrupted me "Then I will leave with you."

"I cannot ask you to do that," I said.

"I was not expecting you too. I do not like the thought of being separated from you. Every time I think about you being away from you it makes me feel empty, like part of me is missing. I know that should probably scare the crap out of me or make me feel disgusted because you are a man, and society say that is wrong, but it does not. I can also tell from your thoughts you are having the same internal struggle with this draw we are both feeling," Edward said.

Edward's little gift was starting to become very annoying. Edward smirks at that, "So is your ability to feel my emotions."

'_Touche!'_ I thought and laughed.

"Alright, Edward I will agree to your request," I said.

"Good, I was afraid I might have to drag you there kicking and screaming," Edward joked. This was a side of Edward I was hoping I'd get to see a lot more often.


	2. Struggle

**Chapter Two:** **Struggle**

We left Chicago just after twilight. Edward suggested we head north into Wisconsin where he would teach me to hunt animals.

"There are fewer humans up here; which will hopefully mean less chance of one of us slipping," Edward said in explanation for coming here.

'_If anyone is going to slip up, it'll be me,'_ I thought.

"I will not let that happen, Jasper. I promise we will make sure we are in a safe zone before we hunt," Edward said. We were deep into Wisconsin and had finally reached an isolated area for us to hunt.

"There are a couple of rules that we need to follow so that we do not accidently happen across a human when we are hunting," Edward said.

I nodded and waited for him to continue. "Carlisle and I would try to hunt in places with little to no human presence. We also try not to over hunt."

_That all made sense, but I had the feeling it was not as easy as it sounded._

"That depends on where we are living. Sometimes we need to range out quite a distance to meet our needs. Carlisle and I tended to feed on the local deer populations. We would then range out once every month or so to hunt larger prey to keep ourselves stronger and better able to resist," Edward paused and looked at me for a moment.

"I think we will probably need to go more often at least at first. It will help us get more acclimated to resisting."

I was starting to doubt that this was going to work. It just seems like such a huge challenge and I was skeptical of my ability to resist. Edward of course was reading my thoughts and frowned at me.

'_Sorry,' _I thought.

"You do not need to apologize, Jasper. I will be honest, this will be a challenge and it will not be easy to resist at first. It will take time to build up your control. It took Carlisle two centuries of practice before he was able to work as a doctor without pain. Now he is all but immune to the smell of human blood. I know you can do this, Jasper. You just need to believe in yourself."

"Let's just go hunt." I said. I still wasn't convinced I could do this after hearing how difficult it sounded. Part of me felt as if I'd be cursed for the rest of eternity.

Edward shook his head, "Not yet we need to make sure we are in a safe zone."

"How do we do that?" I asked.

"We need to check for humans nearby before we start hunting," Edward replied.

Edward closed his eyes and I was not exactly sure what he was doing. "I am listening, and taking in the smells of the forest, to check if any humans are nearby."

After a few moments Edward spoke again, "We are in the clear for where we will hunt, but in the future we should always run the perimeter of our hunting grounds to be absolutely sure."

Edward taught me to range out with my senses to find a herd of deer. They would be our prey on this hunt. Edward had explained that he wanted us to start with smaller wildlife. I had scoffed at that, but Edward said it would be easier for a first hunt. I range out with my hearing and picked out the sounds of tongues lapping up water from a stream a quarter mile to the north.

"Good, now use your sense of smell," Edward encouraged.

I immediately wrinkled my nose when I picked out the stink of the deer.

"Sorry. Herbivores do not smell that great and the taste is only slightly better," Edward said, with a frown.

"Now what do I do?" I asked.

"What do you feel like doing?" Edward asked.

I felt like vomiting, but I was almost certain that was not what Edward wanted to hear. Edward shook his head at my thoughts.

"Give yourself over to your instincts, do not think about it," Edward said.

I closed my eyes and let my instincts take over. In the next second I was sprinting through the forest in the direction of the deer. I could now hear their pounding hearts clearly and the sound triggered my instinct to feed further. The promise of a warm liquid that would soothe the burn in the back of my throat was too appealing to pass up. I focused on the sound of the loudest and strongest beating heart. I emerged from the edge of the forest and found the small herd of deer drinking from the stream. They had not heard my approach and were unaware. I leapt from the tree line and landed on the back of the large buck. I snapped its neck in the same instance as my teeth bit into the hide and flesh at its neck. The taste was horrible, but the feeling of the warm red blood coating the back of my throat brought much needed relief.

When I finished, I stood and brushed off the deer fur and other debris that had managed to soil my shirt and pants. I turned to see Edward draining a doe a few feet away and was slightly annoyed to see that he had managed not to soil his clothes. Edward chuckled as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"I have had a bit more practice at hunting animals and not getting dirty."

I folded my arms across my chest and rolled my eyes.

"That tasted as bad as I remember," Edward added looking down at our discarded prey.

"Thankfully it does not leave an after taste," I sighed with relief.

"Predators taste better and are more of a challenge to take down."

I had to scoff at that. I did not see how any animal would be able to put up much resistance to our superior strength, speed or evade our heightened senses.

"They do not, but it can be fun to give chase. It was the only way for me to expel my built up energy. I love to run and chasing a mountain lion through the forest can be rather exciting at times."

I started to imagine what Edward would look like hunting. I was imagining how graceful he would move, how his powerful legs would propel him through the forest, and how beautiful he would look. I suddenly became aware that this was causing my pants to become tighter as I became aroused by my mental musing.

"What was that?" Edward asked.

"Umm . . . nothing . . ." I said, while trying in desperately to hide my previous thoughts.

'_Oh god this is so embarrassing!' _I thought.

Edward raised an eyebrow at me totally not buying my lame attempt at concealing my thoughts.

"What is so embarrassing?" Edward asked.

He had this amused twinkle in his eyes.

'_Please Edward, this is too embarrassing. Please!' _I begged in my thoughts.

Edward flitted to stand in front of me with an intense look on his face as if he was trying to probe my mind for my earlier thoughts. Edward moved his head and leaned in so that his lips were close enough to my ear that if he stuck his tongue out he could lick it.

Edward's emotions were a mix of mischief, amusement and something else that I could not place. I felt his cold breath blow across my ear causing me to shiver.

"I thought you were graceful, powerful and beautiful when you were hunting." Edward whispered then I felt his tongue lick the edge of my ear.

Edward chuckled then flitted away from me.

"You . . . you . . . when I get my hands on you," I growled.

Edward laughed as he took off running. I took off after him as fast as I could.

'_Damn he's fast,'_ I thought.

I was falling behind and there was no way I was going to catch him.

'_I give up, you win,'_ I projected.

I heard Edward chuckle amusingly as he came running up to me a few moments later. I reached out and wrapped an arm around him pulling his body to mine. I pressed his back up against a nearby tree.

"I thought you gave up?" Edward said.

"It was all a rouse to get you in my arms," I whisper with my lips mere inches away from his sweet red lips.

I pressed my hard body against Edward, further pinning him to the tree. I moved my lips closer and let out my breath slowly sending a shiver down his spine. I focused my attention on his lips as I moved in closer until my own red lips brushed against his ever so slightly. I could feel Edward's body responding to the sexual tension.

I pressed firmly against Edward and attacked his lips. They tasted better then I could have ever imagined. I moved my right hand to cup his face. I felt Edward's hands slowly wrap around my back and his lips begin to move with mine. I parted my lips and flicked my tongue against his.

'_I wonder what his mouth taste like.' _Edward's lips immediately parted and I slipped my tongue into his mouth.

The taste was exquisite. I heard Edward beginning to purr.

'_Fuck me if that was not the sexist sound I have ever heard.'_ I thought.

Our lips moved in sync, brushing back and forth in a frenzy. I wanted Edward to take more control of our kiss and show me what he liked. I felt his right hand moved up my back. His fingers tangled in my long curly blonde locks. He tilted my head to the side and pushed his tongue into my mouth.

Edward flips us around so I was now pressed against the large tree. I moved both of my hands up running my fingers through Edward's messy bronze locks, and tangling my fingers in them. I ground my hips against Edwards. Edward presses himself against me tightly and I could tell he was as turn on as me.

All too soon our kiss ended. Edward pulled back and sighed, "That was an amazing first kiss."

I did not realize at first that Edward meant it was his first kiss ever. It was not until the shy, embarrass emotions seeping through from Edward that it clicked.

"That was your first kiss ever?" I asked.

Edward dropped his head forward and nodded shyly. I immediately placed a finger beneath his chin and lifted his face so that I could see his deep meaningful eyes.

"You are an amazing kisser, Edward," I said.

"I sort of cheated," Edward admitted shyly.

"Oh I know, and you can cheat anytime you kiss me." I smirked.

Edward and I spent the rest of the night sitting by a small stream watching some deer and smaller animals come to drink from it. We did our best to keep our scent downwind from the animals to not scare them off. Most were unaware of our presence, but a few were perceptive enough to spot us and their instincts told them to run. Holding Edward in my arms and the occasional chaste kiss combined with his happy and joyful emotions turned out to be the highlights of the night. I reflected those feelings back to Edward telling him that those were the emotions I was feeling from him.

As the sun was rising over the horizon, we left the stream and headed north toward Michigan.

"I think we will be able to find larger game in the north. I am also hoping we might find some mountain lions," Edward said.

I was eager to try something that had a better taste the deer. I knew that this new life I had chosen would be a struggle, but I was happy to not be depressed after feeding. Part of me also wanted to admit that this new life was far better then the alternative. I stopped my thoughts from thinking about that alternative. I was happy now. I had Edward and he made me happy. If someone had told me a week ago that I would fall in love with a male vampire, and be hunting animals instead of humans, I have thought they were crazy.

As we traveled further and further north, the weather turned colder. As the day went on we soon encountered a small snow front that was slowly dropping a new layer of snow.

"Do you have a coat?" Edward asked.

'_What a strange question, why would I need a coat?' _I thought_._

Edward stopped walked and pulled his backpack off his shoulders.

"Here put these on," Edward said as he handed me a coat and a sweater.

I stared at Edward in confusion as he in turned pulled on a sweater and another coat.

"If we happen across any humans, they will question why you are not wearing winter clothing," Edward said.

'Oh,' I had not considered that.

I pulled on the sweater and the coat Edward had given me. I was immediately hit by the smell, Edward's smell. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. I could not place the scent, but it smelled heavenly.

Edward pulled his backpack back onto his shoulders, "Come on lover boy. Oh, and try not to get too drunk off my smell."

Edward was laughing as he walked away from me.

I groan,_ 'That damn little gift of his could be so annoying at times!' _I thought.

"I heard that," Edward called back.

As quickly as I could, I crouched down and grabbed a handful of snow making a ball. I launched it at Edward, but he ducked out of the way. I could hear him laughing.

"Cheater!" I yelled.

I knew he had picked it out of my head. I looked back at Edward in time to see a snowball heading my way. I was not quick enough to move out of the way as the snowball clipped my shoulder.

"You are going to pay for that," I said.

I leapt the distances and tackled Edward to the ground. I knew he could have moved but he let me have my fun. I pressed my lips to Edwards, while using my right hand to gather up some of the snow. I was also picturing Edward and me naked to keep him distracted from my real intention. Pulling away from the kiss, I tossed the snow into Edward's face. The stunted look on his face was worth the trouble I was about to be in. I jumped off Edward and started running as fast as I could, laughing the whole time.

"JASPER!" Edward yelled. He tore off after me; and I knew he would catch me, but it was still a lot of fun.

Edward caught up to me within a few seconds. Edward pulled me into his arms and kissed my lips, then smack my ass with is right hand.

"Edward!" I said shocked.

Edward just smirked at me.

"You were a bad boy and needed to be punished," Edward grinned.

We walked in silence through the forest side by side after our little playful excursion. Both of our emotions were content and just happy to share each other's company. I was basking in Edward's happiness, trying to absorb every wave that flowed off of him. Part of my mind was telling me that I was setting myself up for disaster if things ended badly. I push those thoughts out of my mind. Edward had told me that he did not like the idea of being parted from me. There were other ways that this could end badly as well, but again I pushed those thoughts from my mind. I did not want Edward listening to my fears.

I instead started thinking about my human family, trying to hold onto the few memories I had left of them. During my time with Maria my human memories had all but faded. There was now only a handful of good human memories left and I was determined to hold on to them. All of them were about my family; my mother's face, the fishing hole that my dad and I use to go to, and a few memories of my siblings.

It was about midday when we spoke again.

"Jasper?" The way he said my name in a question and his sudden change in emotions piqued my interest.

Edward had gone from being calm and happy to being slightly nervous and curious.

"Did you have a question?" I asked slowly.

Edward nodded and I felt his emotions become conflicted.

"I wanted to know more about your past."

"What did you want to know?" I asked in reply.

"If you would prefer not to talk about it that is fine, but I was wondering about you and Maria. I got the impression from your story yesterday that there may have been more between the two of you."

I frowned at this topic. Maria was not my favorite person to talk about at the moment, but I figured that it would be best to cover this now then let it bother Edward.

"I assume that you want to know about any relationship I might have had with her?" I asked.

Edward nodded and I got a tinge of jealous from him at the mention of the word relationship. I was afraid that might be the case. I need to assure Edward that Maria was a nonissue as far as relationships went. I felt him calm as he read my thoughts.

_Maria was very controlling, She was as quick to reward you when you pleased her as she was to punish you when you failed her. I got rewarded a lot because I pleased Maria with my abilities. I was a strong fighter and I knew how to lead her army in battle. I usually got my choice of humans when we hunted._

_Maria soon picked up that many of the female vampires in our coven, not that there were many, were attracted to me. I think that made her jealous, but she also knew she could use this as a measure of control._ _I was the only newborn that survived from the original army of twenty-tree, which Maria had created. She used me to solidify her control over the coven. We all know that vampires would fight to the death to protect their mate. Maria used this to her advantage by taking me as her 'mate'. I never felt that way about Maria, but it did earn me numerous additional rewards._

_It helped satisfy a need from all the lust I was feeling from the other vampires. It was never love between us. I used her to get off and she used me to protect her leadership of the coven._

_The others would never challenge Maria for fear that I would step in to defend her. As I said I was a strong fighter and my empathic abilities gave me an edge over my opponents. None of the newborns or any of the older vampires wanted to fight me if they could avoid it._

_Only once did any of the coven challenge Maria. Lucy and Nettie had secretly made an agreement with a rival coven. I figured out something was up when I started getting strange emotions from the two of them. I picked up on deceit, jealous, angry, fear, and nervousness. It made me think they were hiding something, so I told Maria._

_It was a close fight at first because we had been surprised by the sudden attack. Maria was furious when Nettie and Lucy had switched sides on us at the start of the battle. We lost several newborns before we turned the battle in our favor. I was able to incite the rest of our army into a bloodlust. We saved Nettle and Lucy for last. Maria made an example of them that was never forgotten._

I stopped walking when we reached an outcropping of rocks. I sat on the edge looking out into the forest. I waited for Edward to join me, which he did when he picked it out of my thoughts.

"Edward" - I began as turned to look at him - "My feelings for you run much deeper then anything I ever felt for Maria. If someone had challenged Maria, I probably would have defended her; not because she was my mate, but because she was my creator."

I paused to take in Edward's emotions. They were much calmer and I got the sense that he was ok with whatever I had with Maria. Now I had to make him understand that he meant more to me than she ever did. Edward's curiosity peaked as he read my thoughts.

"If anyone ever tried to hurt you I would rip them to pieces!" I growled quietly.

Edward was actually startled by my sudden aggressive behavior. "Just the very thought of someone hurting you, Edward, makes me very angry. I feel very protective of you. I know that we have only known each other for a couple of days, but I cannot see my future without you. You have ignited something deep within me that I have never felt before. There are no words to describe these feelings that are coursing through me. Many of the same feelings seem to be flowing through you as well. I hope that means you feel the same way about me," I ended in a whisper.

"I am not an empath and I cannot read your emotions, but I can read your mind. I am quite sure that I feel the same way you do," Edward said. "I also think that our actions over the past day have shown that we have strong feelings for each other."

"I want you to be part of my future and I want to be part of yours," Edward continued.

I wrapped my right arm around Edward and pulled his body to mine.

"Carlisle told me once that we vampires rarely change, but when we do it is a permanent change. The way I feel about you Jasper will never change. I want you forever."

Edward turned his head toward me and we kissed. It was a brief kiss, but it said everything that we were feeling. It said that he was mine and I was his forever. I was not sure if this was love or what you call this feeling but I wanted more of it. It felt right, it felt powerful and it made me happy.

"I love you, Jazz," Edward said before his lips met mine again.

'_Wait, did he just call me Jazz? I kind of like that,' _I thought.

Edward smirked against my lips, "I thought it suited you."

I smiled and we gave each other a chaste kiss before pulling apart.

Then it suddenly hit me. Edward had told me he loved me! I pulled him back to me and kiss him passionately. Edward returned the kiss just as passionately. I sighed quietly as we pulled apart reluctantly. I pressed my forehead against Edward's, wanting to keep the closeness.

"I love you, Edward," I said fervently.

It was true, and I had finally figured out what these emotions meant. It was love. There was no other way to describe it.

The soft padded foot steps I heard off to my right caught my attention. I turned to see a large Cougar (mountain lion) that was unaware of our presence.

"He's all yours, Jazz," Edward whispered into my ear.

I turned toward Edward, "Are you sure?"

I knew that mountain lions were Edward's favorite. He nodded with a smile, "I will get the next one."

I kissed Edward's lips then turned and leapt off the outcropping of rocks and onto the back of the Cougar a dozen yards away.

He tried to knock me off his back, but I was having none of it. I moved my hand to his head and exposed his neck. My teeth connected with his neck and bit through the hide, flesh, sinew until they tore it to the main artery in the neck exposing the sweet liquid within. I drank down the liquid greedily as it muted the burn in my throat. The cougar let out a high-pitched squeal and I snapped its neck ending its pain.

Edward flitted to my side after I had finished draining the large cat. He leaned in and licked my lips clean of the remaining blood, when I stood to face him. I pulled Edward in for a passionate kiss; letting him taste what little blood remained in my mouth, as his tongue slid between my lips. Reluctantly we ended our kiss and picked up the scent of another cougar and took off after it.

**~ Change: A Journey of Struggle ~**

~ Passage of Time ~

It was an overcast day with a new snow storm moving into the area. Edward and I have spent nearly two weeks hunting in northern Wisconsin and the Upper Michigan Peninsula. We had managed to find a few more mountain lions. The taste was much better than the deer, but not anywhere near the sweetness of human blood.

One major plus of our hunting had been our eye color had changed. Edward's were now completely gold. The new color made Edward's eye stand out and I thought it made him look even more attractive; if that, were possible. My eyes had also changed to gold, but they still had speckles of red. Edward claimed it was not noticeable, but I had to disagree. I knew the red was still there and that bothered me. It was one of the last remaining links to my old life that I wish I could forget.

'_Stupid perfect vampire memory!' _I thought.

Edward stopped walking along side of me. I turned to ask him why he had stopped when I noticed the intense look of concentration on his face. He sometimes had this look when he was deep in thought.

"I was leading here to Milwaukee for another reason, but now that we are here I have a second reason."

"Well seeing how I have no idea what your first reason was, maybe you could shed some light on why we are here," I replied.

"Well I would have told you sooner, but you would have protested," - I did not like the sound of that, - "First reason was to test our resistance to being around humans."

I was right, not liking that idea at all. '_I am not ready to be around humans yet_.'

"It will be fine, Jazz, I promise."

"What was the second reason?" I asked now annoyed by his first reason for being here.

"Hear me out before you say yes or no," Edward said.

I nodded in agreement.

"I picked out of your thoughts that you would like to forget about some of your old life."

'_Seriously, his mind reading was getting annoying_.'

"Jasper, you agreed to hear me out."

I just stared at him with the most annoyed expression I could manage.

"I am only trying to help, please just listen."

I sighed, but only relaxed my expression slightly.

"I think you should get rid of any reminders of your old life."

I was about to protest, there were some things I did want to remember.

"Wait! I know there are some things you want to remember. I think you should keep your uniform and the pictures you have of your family, and your journal; but anything that reminds you of your time with Maria or times you prefer not remember you should destroy," Edward said.

Everything I had reminded me of Maria or some other time I wish I could forget; My backpack, my clothes, and the various trinkets I had collected over the years. Edward was right in a way, only my uniform, journal from my time in the army, and the photos of my family held any sentimental value to me.

"We will buy new clothes, backpacks and whatever else we need for the rest of our journey."

"Edward, I do not have that much money. I cannot afford to get new clothes," I protested.

"I have money, Jasper. I can . . ."

"Oh, no, I am not about to let you buy me clothes or anything else for that matter. You should not waste your money on me," I said.

"Jasper please let me do this for you. If it makes you feel any better about it, I intended to get some new clothes for myself. I could also benefit from getting rid of anything that reminds me of the past four years," Edward said.

I sighed, and I think Edward knew he was about to win. Change does not come easily for vampires. We are so set in our ways when we are changed that it takes a major event to alter us. The past two weeks with Edward had brought about some major changes in me. Edward was right, but I still did not like the idea of him spending what little money he had on me.

'_All right, Edward, you win. But, I have one request. I want to keep this coat,' _I thought.

Edward nodded with a smile, "I thought you might like to keep it. But, I am going to buy you a new one anyway; that one is rather shabby and you should have a new coat to go with your new clothes."

I did not see much use in protesting. Edward would get his way.

Our first stop was a hotel. We dropped off our backpacks in the room that Edward rented us for the night. Only the clerk had been in the hotel lobby when we check in. I had held by breath as Edward instructed while he did all the talking.

"You are not going to be able to hold your breath the entire time at the shop," Edward said.

"Edward, I think this is bad idea. I am not going to be able to control myself in there if I have to breathe."

"You will not need to breathe the whole time we are in there, but you are going to have to talk or the humans will get suspicious. I will be right there with you," Edward said.

'_I have a really bad feeling about this, Edward.'_

When we reached the shop I grabbed Edward's arm before he could enter the store. "Promise me you will not let me do something I will regret later," I said.

"I promise, Jazz. Everything will be fine," Edward replied. We entered the store and Edward led us to the men's clothing section.

Edward was gathering up several shirts and pants when a young blonde girl came over, "Can I help you, gentlemen?"

"Yes, do you have a dressing room? My friend would like to try these on," Edward said_._

'_What the hell are you doing, Edward?' _I thought as my mind began to panic.

"Relax," Edward said much too quickly and quietly for the human to hear.

"Right this way," The blonde girl said.

"Will you be able to come back and help me after you show him the dressing room?" Edward asked with a smile.

"Of course," She said with a smile. I could feel the lust rolling off of her as she looked at Edward. I was suddenly feeling very jealous and possessive.

"Careful," Edward warned, again too quickly and low for the human to hear.

'_Sorry,' _I thought as I followed the girl to the dressing room.

"Will there be anything else I can help you with?" She asked me.

"No, thank you," I said quickly and entered the dressing room.

'_Relax, Jasper. That went well.'_ I thought. She left me there to change and returned to help Edward.

The first outfit I tried on was a dark green long sleeve button up shirt and black slacks. I stepped out of the dressing room, _'Edward'_.

He came over to me carrying a black leather belt with a silver looking buckle.

"Put this on," Edward said, handing me the belt and buckle.

Edward stepped back, after I added the belt and buckle, admired my new outfit.

"Okay, try on the other outfit," Edward said.

A half dozen pairs of pants and shirts later I was no longer interested in playing dress up, and I was done trying on clothes! I made sure Edward could hear my thoughts while also giving him an annoyed expression.

I have even managed to not attack the sales clerk when she asked me which of the outfits I wanted to purchase. Not knowing which I liked more I asked her which she would pick. She quickly picked out the outfits she liked; Edward agreed that they were the best choices.

I was ready to leave and hoped we were done, '_or not'_. Edward reading the annoyance in my thoughts led us to the footwear section. I rolled my eyes as Edward handed me a pair of shoes to try on. I immediately disliked them. They just were not as comfortable as my riding boots. Edward sighed and walked over to a different table, returning with a pair of black riding boots similar to mine. The style was newer, but they looked more to my liking then the shoes.

"Do you like those?" Edward asked, after I had tried them on.

"Yes, I would like to get these," Edward handed the boots to the sales clerk after I had changed back into my old boots.

Breathing got easier as I learned to focus on the task I was doing or whatever Edward was doing at the time. We finished up by picking out two winter coats, one for each of us and a pair of boots for Edward. We headed up to the sales counter to complete our transaction. Edward handed over the money and the sales clerk thanked us and wished us a Merry Christmas.

As soon as we got outside I took a deep breath of fresh clean air. We made one other stop on our way back to our hotel where Edward purchased new backpacks. Upon returning to the hotel room Edward laid out clothes for both of us and then headed into the bathroom to shower.

I took a seat on the sofa and watched the snow falling outside the window. I could see the street lights illuminating on the sidewalk below and the humans moving quickly about. I was proud of myself. I had managed to get through the day so far without killing anyone. I felt a bit more confident that I might be able to succeed in this endeavor.

Edward had reminded me earlier that today was Christmas Eve. Christmas was a holiday that I had not celebrated in more than sixty years. I was conflicted by my emotions for the holiday. Part of me was sad that I had not celebrated this day in so long. It was a day to be with family and share love for one another. That part of me missed my human life and my family. Another part of me did not care for the day at all. This part was more dominate since it brought fewer painful feelings of what I had lost because of this life.

Of course Edward heard all these thoughts when he had brought up the subject on our return to the hotel. He at first frowned at me, but quickly turned his frown into a smile.

'_Let us start a new tradition for this day,' _Edward had said.

He finally convinced me to join him for a walk in the park. There would to be Christmas carolers and other activities. I had of course protested, but Edward reminded me of how well I had done during our shopping excursion. I grudgingly agreed, but part of me really did want to go to the park with Edward.

I heard the door to the bathroom open and turned to see Edward enter the room fully dressed. He wore a pair of black pants, and a red long sleeve button up shirt with a green sweater pulled over the top. Finishing off the outfit was a pair of black riding boots similar to the ones Edward had purchased for me earlier, but the style was different.

I took my turn in the bathroom showering and cleaning up. I enjoy the feel of the hot water pouring over my body. It had been a while since I had the luxury of being able to shower. Vampires did not have unpleasant body orders, but we still could get dirty. Living as a nomad this past year meant going out many of the luxuries, I had when I was with Maria.

I exited the bathroom fifteen minutes later fully dressed and ready to go out on our 'date'. Edward walked over to me and pressed his lips to mine. How I missed the feel of his lips. I wrapped my arms around my beautiful lover. Michelangelo's David had nothing on my Edward. His perfectly sculpted face, his hard muscular body, his firm . . .

"Have you even seen Michelangelo's David?" Edward asked, chuckling as he pulled away from our kiss.

"Not in person," I pouted. I was missing the feel of his lips. I had, however, seen a photo of the sculpture a few years ago.

Edward smirked before kissing me again. I moved my right hand up behind his head and held his lips to mine. The taste was like vanilla and so sweet. I involuntarily moaned.

'_Screw the Christmas Caroling,'_ I thought.

I moved my left hand to Edward's perk, firm ass and pulled him into me, grinding my pelvis into his. Edward moaned into our kiss at the added friction. I released his lips and kissed up Edward's jaw to his ear.

"I want you so bad, Edward," I growled softly. I sent a wave of the lust I was feeling to him.

"Oh, Jazz," Edward moaned softly.

I moved my lips back to Edward's as I led us to the bed. Edward's body froze the instant the back of his legs touched the foot of the bed. I felt the sudden rush of panic emotions roll off of him and I froze as well in that moment. I opened my closed eyes to see Edward stares back at me with a scared look in his beautiful golden orbs.

"Edward?" I said as I pulled away from his lips slowly.

'_Did he not want me?' _I thought.

Edward quickly shook his head, "No, of course I want you Jazz. I... this . . . I am . . ."

I had never seen Edward this flustered for words before. I was starting to get worried. He may have said he wanted me but his flustered state was leaving me hanging.

Edward closed his eyes and took a deep breath. With his eye still close Edwards spoke slowly, "Jasper, believe me when I tell you that I want you very much. This is just all very new to me. I have never had anyone special in my life before; not even when I was human."

Edward opened his eyes and gave me a small smile. "Jasper, I love you very much and I want to be with you completely. I am just a little scared."

Edward turned his face away from me, "I am scared that I may not be good enough, that you will not want me afterward."

'_What was he saying? I would not want to be with him after. Of course I want to be with him!' _I thought.

"Edward, I - love – you," I stressed each word.

"I want to be with you completely, but I do not want you to be scared to be with me," I turned Edward's head so that I could see his eyes as I continued to speak.

"You said it yourself these past two weeks. Change does not come easily for our kind, and when it does come it is a permanent change. My love for you will not stop tomorrow, or next year or a thousand years from now. I will always love you, Edward," I smiled at my angel.

"Edward, we will do this at your pace. When you are ready, we will be together intimately. I also think with your mind reading and my empathic abilities it will be an unforgettable experience for both of us," Edward smiled at me as I finished.

"I love you too, Jasper Whitlock."

"Lets go listen to some Christmas carols," I smiled. One quick chaste kiss and we were out the door.

The park was only a few blocks away from the hotel. It was lit up brightly and the sounds of caroling and laughter could be heard as we entered. I could not help but smile and feel happy with all the joyful emotions flowing from all the humans. The carolers were singing 'Joy to the World' when we sat down at a bench across from them. I closed my eyes while immersing myself in the wonderful emotions and the music. I was able to breathe normally without the slightest desire to feed.

'repeat the sounding joy, repeat the sounding joy, repeat - repeat the sounding joy.' The carolers sang.

Edward and I watched the young couples strolling through the park. The families huddled together waiting in line for the sleigh rides and the children playing in the snow. All these things made my cold heart warm. I looked to Edward who was sitting silently beside me also smiling happily.

"Thank you," I simply said.

Edward turned his face to me, "What are you thanking me for?"

"For bringing me here tonight," I replied.

"I take it you are having a good time then?"

"I am, and the emotions are so happy and joyful. I have never felt anything like it."

We spent the next couple of hours just listening to the carolers. Edward had to remind me a couple of times to not sit so still. We had to act human and for someone who had not been human in more than sixty years that was a challenge.

Everything was going great until I felt the warm hand on mine and the most delicious smell.

"Mister, can you help me find my mommy?"

'Oh, no!' I thought, and stopped breathing.

I looked down to see a little boy of no more then ten-year-old holding my hand with tears running down his face. The monster inside me was suddenly raging to be released.

'NO! This is not happening! EDWARD HELP!' I scream in my thoughts.

Edward's head whipped around too fast for a human. I could see my eyes turning black in the refection from Edward's eyes. I could feel the pulse of the young boy through his hand; the warmth of the blood that flowed in his veins. My throat began to burn and venom pooled in my mouth.

'No, No, No!' my thoughts continued to scream.

Edward quickly, but gentle removed the boy's hand from mine as he spoke.

"What does your mommy look like?" Edward asked as he moved the boy so that he could use his own body as a shield against me. The monster within me growled being denied the sweet nectar. The next thing I felt was Edward's elbow being driven into my stomach. The strength of the blow was enough to cause me to gasp and suck in a breath. It took a spilt second for my mind to register that Edward had done this purposefully. The wind had changed direction ever so slight and the air around me was clean.

"Get out of here now!" Edward hiss in a quick hushed whisper. It voice was too low for the boy to hear, but his tone left no room for argument. I could think just clearly enough to obey, but the urge to feed was still there and strong.

I stopped breathing again as I stood. Edward stood at the same time kept his body between me and the boy. I force myself to turn away from them and walk to the park exit, as quickly as I could and not draw attention to myself. I did not turn back for fear I would not be able to stop myself. I did not stop walking until I was half way back to the hotel. I stopped beneath a streetlight that was out. I leaned back against it breathing slowly and deeply, trying to clear my head completely.

'_I nearly killed that boy. I cannot do this. It is too hard. What was I thinking? I am a vampire.'_

I slid down to the sidewalk and sat there in my self loathing hate for only a few minutes, before Edward walked up to me.

"Jasper?"

_No, go away. Please go away, Edward, I do not want you to see me like this,' _I thought.

"Jasper, I am not going anywhere," Edward said; his tone final.

'_Just go away, Edward. I nearly killed a little boy. I am a monster!'_ I thought.

I could feel Edward's anger rising. Good, he should be angry with me; I nearly exposed us back there. Edward took a deep breath. I nearly looked up at him, but I did not want to see the rejection on his face and the anger for being so weak. The boy's smell had not even affected Edward.

Edward sighed, "Jasper, look at me."

'_No,' _I thought.

"Jazz, look at me," Edward said, in a demanding tone. I checked Edward's emotions, his anger had abated and he was calm. I slowly looked up and was startled. Edward's face was calm, but his eyes were pitch black.

"His smell affected me just as much as it affected you. He is back with his mother," Edward said. The boy was thankfully safely with his mother.

"I am sorry, Edward. I am not strong enough to resist. It is too difficult," I said softly.

"Jazz, you are much stronger then you give yourself credit. You resist the urge to feed and you had the mental strength to walk away," Edward said calmly.

"It was not as easy as you are making it sound."

"I know it was not easy for you to walk away. I was listening to your mind the entire time."

"So you know how much of a weakling I am now."

Edward groaned at me, "Jasper Whitlock! You are not a weakling. You are one of the strongest people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting."

I scoffed at that, "You were able to help the boy find his mother, I turned tail and ran away to hide."

Edward sighed, "Is that what this is about? You think it was easy for me to do that?" Edward waited for me to reply, but I said and thought nothing. Edward crouched down in front of me and I looked away.

"Jazz, I had years of experience to draw on back there to help me do that. I picked out his mother's thoughts almost immediately. She was frantically looking for him as well. I focused on that and the thought of what she would feel if her little boy did not come home. That gave me the strength I needed to see them reunited," Edward said.

I stayed silent. "Jazz, please do not give up. I know how hard it is; believe me I know what you are going through. I have been there, where you are right now. I know you have the strength to do this and succeed. I believe in you, Jazz."

I stayed quiet for a long time, but finally sighing. Edward was right.

'_Sorry,' _I thought.

"You did well back there. Better then I did my first time encountering humans," Edward said.

Edward stood up and extended his hand to me. I grabbed his hand and he helped me up.

"We will go hunting and I will tell you all about it, but first we should collect our things from the hotel."

"I thought you wanted to spend the night here?"

"If we are going hunting, we might as well head toward St. Paul." I nodded but felt bad. I had screwed up Edward's plans.

"Jazz, stop. You cannot blame yourself for everything that happened here tonight. No one got hurt and we will just be in St. Paul a little earlier then planned," Edward said.

I nodded, _'Sorry can't seem to help it at the moment.'_

We hunted deer, not my first choice but they were plentiful in the area west of Milwaukee. As we hunted Edward told me about the first time he had encountered humans after his change. He had told me that it had happened during a hunting trip. As they were scouting out the area he and Carlisle had come across a group of hikers.

"Carlisle wrestled me away from the area and eventually threw me face first into a creek. I got water up my nose and my face was covered in mud, which woke me up from my bloodlust haze. We were just lucky that the hikers thought it was a couple of bears fighting," Edward said.

I could not help but laugh at the thought of Edward with a face full of mud.

We walked for hours laughing as Edward recounted stories of his and Carlisle many hunting trips. Silence filled the air as Edward finished another hunting trip story.

"Thank you," I said. "What are you thanking me for this time?" Edward asked confused.

"For not giving up on me earlier today and for not letting me do something I would have regretted," I said.

Edward stopped us and pulled me into a tight hug.

"I love you, Jazz. I will always be there for you."

"I love you too, Edward."

We released each other and when we turned to continue our journey we realized we were on the outskirts of St. Paul. I held onto Edward's left hand.

"Are you ready?" I asked.

He looked at me and gave me a small smile.

"You know I will be by your side the whole time," I said.

"I know. I am still worried that he will send me away," Edward whispered.

I pulled Edward into a tight hug and whispered into his ear, "It will be ok, I promise." I finally gave Edward a 'nudging' of confidence to help.

"Thanks, Jazz," Edward smiled.

We ran the last few miles to the house and slowed when we emerged from the clearing. There were a few lights glowing on the first level of the home. It was a small two story farm house painted white with green shutters and a large wrap around porch. It was set in a clearing surrounded on three sides by the forest; the front of the house was open to a large lake.

I gave Edward's hand an encouraging squeeze as we reached the front door. Edward looked at me before releasing my hand. I nodded further encouragement. He stepped forward and knocked on the door, and then stepped back. I saw him drop his head and close his eyes. I felt waves of nervousness and small spikes of panic rolling off of him. I did my best to send him waves of calm, but it seemed to have little effect on him. I could hear movement within the house. There were two distinctive sets of foot steps. One was soft and delicate, most likely Esme. The second set was also soft but sounded firmer, most likely Carlisle. They grew slightly louder as they near the door, the difference in sound would have been unnoticeable to human ears.

The door opened and there stood a young looking male vampire with blonde hair and golden eyes. Standing immediately behind him was a beautiful female vampire with brownish hair and golden eyes. Her frame was delicate and her face gave her a motherly glow. I took in their emotions which at first were guarded and as their eyes fell upon Edward there was shock.

Edward looked up when he heard Esme gasp behind Carlisle, "Edward!"


	3. Prodigal

**Chapter Three: Prodigal**

"I am sorry . . . so sorry." Edward choked out as he started sobbing in Esme's arms.

"It's okay dear. You are home now," Esme said.

Edward's emotions were a kaleidoscope of feelings ranging from sorrow and pain to respect and love. Esme's emotions were a mirror of Edward's, but with a large amount of relief. This was a touching moment of a mother and son reuniting. I felt almost like I was intruding on a private moment.

Carlisle slowly stepped forward and placed a hand on Edward's shoulder, "Welcome home son."

Edward reluctantly released Esme from their hug and turned toward his creator, his father. "I do not deserve to be called your son, not after the way I behaved and the things I said to you."

I could feel the calm compassionate flowing from Carlisle. There was also in the background feelings of forgiveness and joy.

"Edward looked at me," Carlisle spoke softly.

I watched as Edward slowly raised his golden eyes to meet Carlisle's eyes. I smiled as I felt the joy flowing more freely from Carlisle, which I attributed to Edward's golden eyes.

"We cannot change the past, but the future is what we make of it," Carlisle's voice was soft, but sincere.

"I came here to ask for your forgiveness, even though I am undeserving of it. You are right, Carlisle. Every life is a precious gift and I had no right to do the horrible things I have done. They may have all been criminals, but I had no right to play God," Edward spoke softly and slowly.

Carlisle squeezed Edward's shoulder and spoke softly, "Sometimes the most difficult lesson that life teaches are the ones that we must learn on our own. Those are the lessons that make us stronger and more determined in the end."

I was shocked. I had expected Carlisle to be upset by Edward's admission to killing humans. I knew that Carlisle was compassionate from what Edward had told me, but I still had the image of him as a leader of a coven. He truly spoke as a father and not the leader of a coven.

"I have done a lot of things I regret. Even if I live a thousand years I will never be able to give back the lives I have taken. I cannot live that way anymore. I want to follow you. I want to follow your example. I am prepared to get down on my knees and beg you to take me back if I must," Edward pleaded. The pain was evident in his voice as his spoke, but there was also the distinct sound of determination as well.

Carlisle pulled Edward into a tight hug. There would be no begging; Edward had been accepted. I was reveling in the emotions pour from both Carlisle and Esme. Even Edward's emotions were now taking on the joy and happiness as his mind slowly came to realize that Carlisle was welcoming him back home.

This was all new to me. I urged Edward to return to Carlisle and promised to be there to support him. This was not the way I expect their reunion to unfold. I had expected it would take a lot of convincing to gain Carlisle's forgiveness. I think it was in this moment that I realized that this was not a coven of vampires, but a family bounded by their choice. A choice which I was slowly learning brought them in touch with their human side. I realized as the feelings of pain, sorrow, guilt and hurt were washed away by the feelings of happiness, joy and relief that this is what I truly wanted. I wanted to be part of a family. I wanted to be part of this family.

Edward finally broke the hug with Carlisle.

"Thank you," Edward whispered with a smile.

We all stood there for a moment before Esme spoke up, "Are you going to introduce us to your friend?"

"Sorry," Edward said as he grabbed my hand and pulled me to his side.

"Carlisle, Esme, this is Jasper Whitlock. Jasper, this is my father Carlisle" - Edward said tentatively look to Carlisle, as if asking permission to call him father again. Carlisle smiled brightly - "and this is my mother Esme."

"It is a pleasure to meet you, sir and ma'am," I said, my southern accent seeping through I had been trying to hide it from Edward these past couple of weeks. I did not like my accent. It reminded me too much of my past.

"Welcome to the family," Esme said as she pulled me into a hug.

I was shocked by this; I had not expected to be welcome into their family so quickly or easily. I was elated at prospect of being part of this family, but I was also terrified that this could all change when they learned of my past. Carlisle welcomed me with a simple, but firm hand shake.

"Let us go inside. There is much for us to talk about," Carlisle said.

Esme led the way back into the house. We all followed her in with Carlisle bring up the rear. Edward and I set our backpacks by the entrance before following Esme into the sitting room. Edward led us over to one of the sofas. We sat across from Esme, and Carlisle joined her a moment later.

I took a moment to admire the room decor. It was simple yet stylish. The color plate was pale giving the room a soft gentle feel. Along the far wall were numerous book shelves that were filled to capacity. I made a mental note to check out what books they had. The wall to our left held several paintings of various sizes, the largest of which caught my attention. It pictured four men, three of which seem to be painted as if they were Gods, the forth resembled Carlisle. I made a note to ask Edward about it later. The wall to our right and behind us held several large windows that look out onto the forest that surrounded most of the house.

Carlisle's voice brought my attention back from admiring the room. "I. . . We are very happy to have you back, Edward. It just has not been the same around here without you. Please do not misunderstand my question. We are happy you are home, but I am curious as to what prompted your return?" Carlisle spoke softly.

I did not need my empathic abilities to see what was clearly written in Carlisle's eyes. There was deep sadness in them and what I could only assume was wonder at what he could have done differently. Edward's head dropped forward slightly at this and he leaned in toward me seeking comfort. I was acutely aware of Carlisle watching us closely. I wanted to reach out and wrap Edward in my arms and tell him everything was ok now. Instead I settled for placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. Edward smiled crookedly at me before turning his attention to Carlisle.

"There were many things over the last few months that were prompting my return. I missed you and Esme, but was afraid to face you. I missed our discussions, but I feared you would not wish to speak to me again."

Edward slowly raised his head as I moved my hand to rub his back gently. "I was also very angry with myself. I had become the very monster I had accused you of changing me into. It was then I realized I had done that to myself. If I had listened to your teachings and not given into temptation that monster would have been locked away forever."

Edward looked away, out the windows to our right. He stared off into the black of night as if look back at his past.

Edward's revelation sparked a sudden fear in me. If Edward had not left Carlisle and Esme then I may never have met him. I would still be wandering the night looking for my next victim or . . . I stopped that train of thought. Edward did not need to know what I had considered doing.

"Each time I tried to return I would get as far as Chicago and turn back around. This continued for the last six months and each time I would stay a little longer in Chicago. I had been there about a month, this last time, when I ran into Jasper. That was two weeks ago."

Edward turned and looked at me. His eyes held a great deal of love, devotion and thanks. "After only talking to Jasper for a few hours I had poured out all my troubles and hurts. We were both struggling. We still are in some ways, with who and what we are. We connected on several levels because of our mutual struggles. He convinced me to come back. I had told him a little about you and he used that knowledge to make me see that I was allowing my fears to keep me from happiness."

"How did you two meet?" Esme asked. She was smiling proudly at me for having returned her son.

"He tackled me to the ground and tried to eat me," I dead panned. It was silent for only a moment. Edward's face looked completely mortified. Esme's was shocked and Carlisle was trying unsuccessfully not to laugh.

"You do know he is a vampire?" Carlisle snickered.

"Yes," Edward said while pinching the bridge of his nose. If he were human he would be bright red.

'Uh oh,' I thought.

I probably should not have done that. "In Edward's defense I was having some rather un-gentlemen like thoughts about how to injure my creator. You would have to know her to understand why," I said quickly.

"I see," Carlisle said seriously.

"Jasper is not normally a violent person, at least not in the two weeks I have known him. If you know the things his creator forced him to do you would likely not be pleased," Edward added.

Carlisle looked at me for a long moment before speaking again, "You were in the southern wars, were you not?"

I nodded, "How did you know?"

"Luckily guess, but your accent gave me a clue. I am aware of the southern wars and the things some coven leaders do to maintain control. I am sorry that you had to go through that," Carlisle said softly.

"I survived," I said simply. I dropped my hands on my lap staring blankly at them.

"How long? I mean, how long were you involved in those wars?" Carlisle asked.

"More than sixty years," I replied.

"I am impressed, not many vampires would have lasted even half as long as you have."

"Most do not last much past their first year."

"Yes, I have heard that."

"Jasper and I were having similar difficulties when we met. We were both alone and depressed. Jasper is gifted, which is one of the reasons he survived so long," Edward explained. I was thankful for him changing the subject. I was still not comfortable with speaking of my past.

Carlisle's face lit up with curiosity at the mention of me being gifted.

"I am able to sense and manipulate the emotions of people around me. I feel a person's emotions as if they are my own. There are, however, limits on what I can manipulate. For instance I would not be able to change how you feel for Esme or the love you all share as a family. Intense and deeply rooted emotions are beyond my ability to change. I would not be able to make people fall into or out of love. I also cannot change the emotions of fear and terror a person has when they are dying," I ended in a whisper.

"I think I understand a little of what you have been through, Jasper. I am sure that is only scratching the surface of what must have been a very hard existence for you," Carlisle said. I could hear the compassion in his voice.

"My past is not a subject I enjoy speaking about. It has left me with many scars, both physical and emotional. I have not even told Edward everything that I have been through. I honestly do not know if I ever will have the strength to share all those memories."

"You only need to share what you wish and only when you are ready to share it with us. Edward seems to have placed a great deal of trust in you and so do I," Carlisle spoke.

"Thank you. I will not betray that trust."

"How are you adjusting to the change?" Carlisle asked.

"It is much harder then I imaged, but Edward has been very supportive," I said, giving Edward a smile.

"Jasper is not giving himself enough credit. He was able to keep control and walk away from temptation," Edward praised.

"It was a lot harder then he is making it out to be," I added.

"May I ask what happened?" Esme queried.

"Edward and I went to a park in Milwaukee. Christmas is not a holiday I have celebrated since I was human. Edward wanted us to start a new tradition. There was a small event at a nearby park with Christmas caroling, sleigh rides and other activities. I was enjoying the emotional atmosphere, which I think is one of the reasons Edward chose to take me there." My tone darkened as I remembered the little boy I almost killed.

"There was a young boy, I think he was about ten. He was lost and could not find his mother. He had grabbed hold of my hand asking for help. I was not expecting anyone to get close to us. I could feel the blood pumping through the veins in his hand and his smell . . ." I paused and looked away from everyone in the room. I was feeling very uncomfortable at the moment.

"Jasper realized what was happening and stopped himself from breathing. He called out in his mind for help. I was listening to the caroling and did not hear the boy when he approached. He was holding Jazz's hand and asking for his mommy."

Edward reached down and held my right hand.

"I took in Jazz's thoughts and expressions and knew he was fighting it. I took the boy's hand and moved him so that he was in front of me. Jazz was still fighting it while I tried to get the boy to tell me what his mother looked like, hoping he would recall a memory of her to make finding her easier," Edward paused.

"I told Jazz he needed to leave and he managed to get himself out of the park and away from the temptation, while I took the boy to his mother who was just around the corner," Edward finished.

"You left out a part," I accused.

"What part was that?" Edward asked innocently.

'_You are so not innocently.'_ I thought which caused Edward to smirk.

"The part where you elbowed me in the stomach."

"Edward!" Esme admonished.

"What? It was necessary. He needed to clear his head and the wind had changed direction," Edward defended himself.

"It hurt too," I pouted. I was playing it up trying to earn sympathy points with Esme. Internally I was smiling at how well it was working. Carlisle, however, was just shaking his head.

"Would you like me to kiss it and make it all better?" Edward joked.

"It seems your manners have been lacking lately," Esme commented.

"Edward has been behaving as a proper gentleman," I paused. "Except for the time he tackled me. Oh and the time he elbowed me in the stomach and the time he hit me with a snow ball," I added with a smiled.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, you were raised better then that," Esme said. She was not really angry. She was actually giving off playful waves.

'_Was she teasing?_' I thought.

"But mom, he threw one at me first," Edward whined.

Esme smiled unable to keep her serious face any longer. I could not help it and started laughing. Carlisle smiled on happily.

"It would seem that you handled that situation very well, Jasper. I am impressed by your ability to resist and having the mental strength to know Edward could help you," Carlisle complimented.

"Thank you, sir," I said, rather embarrassed.

I did not like being the center of attention. I much preferred hiding out in the wings and letting others have the spotlight. Edward was smiling brightly at me. He looked at me as if I were the center of his universe. I was vaguely aware of Carlisle and Esme still being in the room, but my mind was much too busy focusing on Edward. How I wanted to kiss his lips and hold him in my arms at this moment, but we were not alone.

Carlisle cleared his throat, which brought us both quickly out of our mental musings. I knew that Edward and I were being much too careless with our affection for each other. Two men being in love with each other was not an accepted norm in society. I was now feeling unease about this situation and possible ramifications. Carlisle and Esme were both calm, while Edward and I were filled with unease.

Edward turned his attention to Carlisle and it appeared they were having an unspoken conversation. Carlisle's facial expressions and moods did not change, but I did see Edward nod or shake his head several times during the silent exchange.

Carlisle turned his attention to me. "Jasper, it seems to me that Edward and you share some sort of connection. I do have my suspicions and Edward is reluctant to share further details without your permission," I looked to Edward for confirmation.

"We do not need to say anything if you would prefer to wait, but I believe that everything will be fine," Edward whispered to me, but I was sure Carlisle and Esme could hear him clearly.

I took in Carlisle's emotions to see where this conversation might be headed. I was surprised to see that he was still calm, but there was also a lot of curiosity in the background. Esme's emotions were of no help with decide how to proceed, because she was confused. Thankfully my vampire mind works much faster then a human mind.

If I gave my permission then Edward and I could tell Carlisle and Esme about our connection, as Carlisle called it. If Carlisle and Esme were accepting then I could be affectionate with Edward here in our home. If they were not accepting then they would send us away and that would break Edward's heart and mine. If we said nothing then we would have to hide that did not sound appealing. There was also the risk that if we hid we would be discovered and that could go badly for us.

If we were discovered there could be a huge fight. Edward might let his temper get the better of him and say something he would regret later. We have to leave and Edward might blame me for losing his family. He would end up hating me and I would be all alone again.

'_Knock it off with all the what ifs!'_

'_Shut up!'_

'_Smart, Jasper. Telling yourself to shut up.'_

'_Ugh, not helping!'_

'_Stop acting like a pussy and man up Major!'_

I heard snickering beside me and realized that Edward was paying far too much attention to my thoughts.

'_Annoying mind reading vampire'_ I thought.

Edward continued to snicker beside me. '_You are not helping!'_

Edward stopped snickering and turned serious. "Sorry, Jazz."

"You two need to kiss and make up. I dislike seeing my boys upset," Esme said. Both Edward and I whipped our heads around to look at Esme.

"Oh, please. I am a mother. Do you really think I would not suspect something when my son brings home a 'friend' who he met two weeks ago? Who, he is currently sitting so close too that there is not even room for a sheet of paper between the two of you. Oh and the looks you two give each other, like you are the center of each other's universe also gave it away," Esme smirked.

I was stunned, so was Edward. I had been paying attention to Carlisle the whole time, worried that he would figure it out first, that I had not been paying close attention to Esme. When had she figured it out? Thinking a few steps ahead my mind took in Carlisle and Esme's moods. I was pleasantly surprised to find that they were both happy. I let out the breath I was unknowingly holding. I was speechless.

'_Not like that happens often.'_

'_Shut up.'_

"You boys can relax. Esme and I are not going to kick you out or be upset. I am, however, curious to know when this happened?" Carlisle spoke.

"When we first met, there was a spark between the two of us when Jasper helped me off the ground," Edward spoke.

"Amazing, so you both felt it?" Carlisle asked. I nodded, still no able to form words.

"I have heard of this happening, but it is extremely rare between male vampires," Carlisle explained.

"We were not sure what it meant, at least not at first," Edward said.

"I remember a book that Aro had in his library that held a great deal of information on vampire mating. Most of it does not apply here, but there were a few passages that did discuss relationships between same sex vampires. They are rare, but they have happened throughout vampire history."

"Was there any reference to what caused it?" Edward asked.

"Only one of the passages spoke about the cause, but even then it was only a guess. In that instance it appeared that the two vampires were struggling with some issues, which was never discussed in the passage. I always meant to ask Aro about it, but never got around to it," Carlisle replied.

"What happened to the two vampires?" Edward asked.

"They were killed a long time ago during the vampire wars between the Romanians and the Volutri," Carlisle answered.

Finally finding my voice, "Perhaps this happened because of our mutual struggle with feeding on humans."

"That is a possibility, yes," Carlisle said.

"Does that mean when we overcome that struggle we will lose this connection?" I asked.

"No, that is unlikely. When vampires change, it is a permanent change. Something very dramatic would have to happen to change that, and even then you would not be able to stop loving each other," Carlisle answered.

I would love Edward forever. There were no words to describe how happy this made me feel. I know that vampires cannot sleep, but these last two weeks seemed like an impossible dream that I was about to wake up from; especially after more than sixty-years of living in pure hell.

"I think we should let you boys get settled. I also need to leave to make my rounds at the hospital. We will talk more when I return," Carlisle said. Carlisle kissed Esme on the cheek before heading out the door.


	4. First Move

**Chapter 4: First Move**

I was lying on my back on the sofa in our bedroom. Edward was lying partially on top of me with his head resting upon my chest. We were having a nice quiet relaxing evening just enjoy each other's company, while also listening to music being played upon Edward's gramophone. I had my right arm wrapped around Edward, and fingers traced up and down his side.

The fingers of Edward's right hand were intertwined with the fingers of my left hand, and his thumb traced circles in the palm. The emotions in the room were light and happy. I was absorbing them like a sponge. My eyes were closed and a crocked smile played upon my lips.

I was completely comfortable and enjoying this immensely.

'I could surely get use to feeling like this every day,' I thought.

"Me too," Edward whispered.

Edward's thumb stopped making circles on my left palm for just a moment before resuming.

"Come in Carlisle," Edward called in his normal voice.

I had heard Carlisle footsteps outside our bedroom door only seconds before Edward called out to him. I thought about sitting up, but Edward moved his right hand to my chest and applied pressure. I took this to mean he wanted me to stay in this position.

The door opened and Carlisle entered the room, "I hope I am not disturbing the two of you?"

"You are not interrupting. We were just listening to some music," Edward replied.

"I will only take a moment of your time. Esme and I had discussed moving on from here a few weeks before you returned. I believe now maybe the best time to move before the humans here become suspicious."

"I had planned to speak to you about this in the morning. While Jasper and I were out shopping a few days ago, I picked up on some thoughts regarding you. Nothing too serious or to worry about, but it would be best if we move on soon," Edward replied.

"Esme and I had discussed moving to Rochester, New York. I did speak with the Chief of Staff at Rochester General Hospital, and they are in need of a surgeon," Carlisle added.

Edward opened his eyes and looked up at me to see my opinion. I simply shrugged. Rochester was plenty far away from Maria. I missed Texas, but not enough to risk crossing paths with that she devil.

"No objections here," Edward answered.

"I will speak with Esme, and her and I will likely head out to Rochester tomorrow. I would like to find us a house outside of the city and speak with the Chief of Staff again to finalize the position."

"What would you like Jasper and me to do while you are away?" Edward asked.

"If you would begin packing our belongings that would speed up the move. Also when I return, you and I will need to transfer your inheritance and my savings to a bank in New York."

Edward perked up suddenly and turned his attention to Carlisle. "I still have some of my inheritance left?" Edward asked in a surprised tone.

"Yes, Edward. I always hoped that you would return. I took the advice you gave me and moved your investments and mine into safer holdings. I did not want you to lose what your parents had left you."

"Thank you, Carlisle. I honestly did not expect any of it to be left."

"You are welcome, Edward. I should leave you two to your music," Carlisle said before leaving the room.

Edward laid his head back down onto my chest and closed his eyes. The only time we moved the rest of the night was to change the record.

Carlisle and Esme left in the early morning hours after having gone hunting. They took the train out to Rochester and promised to be back in a few days. Edward called a local transfer company shortly after business opening. We were able to secure moving supplies and the company would pick up and transfer our belongings to Rochester.

We spent the next several hours preparing items to be boxed up for the move. I was helping Edward to take down Carlisle's paintings, and took the opportunity to ask about the larger one. The painting depicted four men, three of which were obviously vampires based on the red of their eyes and a fourth man who appeared to have gold eyes. "Is that Carlisle?"

"Yes, the other three are Aro, Marcus and Caius. They are the leaders of the Volturi," Edward replied.

"Why are they painted almost god like?"

"Solimena, the artist who painted them, thought them to be gods."

The Volturi is like the royal family of the vampire world. They kept, and enforced, our laws. I had learned a great deal of respect for them. "Was Carlisle a member of the Volturi guard?"

"Not exactly. Aro was fascinated by Carlisle's choices. His refusal to feed on humans, his desire to study medicine, and his compassion were not things normally found among vampires. Aro enjoys learning and collecting 'histories' as he calls them."

"Histories?"

"Knowledge about vampires from around the world. Aro wants to know anything and everything. He views knowledge as power, which is why Aro is the true leader of the Volturi. Most believe that the power among the three brothers is shared equally, but it is not. Aro always makes the final call."

"Why did Carlisle leave them?"

"Carlisle's compassion annoyed Caius. He tends to be the one who lets his bloodlust and eagerness for 'justice' consume him. He cares only about maintaining control with an iron fist. Marcus is… well bored, and he could careless about what happens. Aro is somewhere in the middle, but he wants power."

"So he left them because Caius was annoyed with him?"

"Not exactly, Caius tried to trick Carlisle into feed upon humans. Carlisle, however, had a great deal of self control and even Caius was not able to break him. Carlisle realized he needed to move on, that he would not find what he was looking for with the Volturi. Aro of course was disappointed; he had hoped that Carlisle might one day join Marcus, Caius and him in leading the Volturi. Carlisle did have some power with the Volturi guard."

"In what way?"

"Carlisle was greatly respected by Aro and had his favor. This provided Carlisle with a great deal of latitude. No one wants to upset Aro. While Caius may let his bloodlust consume him, it is Aro who is the most dangerous of all of them. Carlisle has never spoken to me of how much influence he had in the Volturi, but I have seen several items that he keeps from his time there."

I was even more curious now to speak with Carlisle about his time with the Volturi. I was unsure if he would share any of those memories with me, but I intended to one day ask him.

"I am sure that he will share with you, at least what he has shared with me. Carlisle is not one to keep secrets, but I have never found the opportunity to ask him about the items he keeps. I have seen a medallion with the Volturi crest and a cloak that is black."

I knew from what I had learned of the Volturi that only the leadership possessed black cloaks. Edward did not comment on my thoughts, instead he continued to help me prepare most of the family's belongings for the move. We were taking most items, but several of the large pieces of furniture were staying and would be donated or sold with the house.

Working at vampire speed for most of the day helped to quickly complete our task of packing. Only when we handled the paintings and a few of the older bookcases did we take our time to make sure no damage was done to the items.

I had just finished with packing up the last of the books, and was placing the last box in the sitting room when Edward came in and wrapped his arms around his waist. "I was thinking we could go hunting now that we are finished packing," Edward said.

I leaned into Edward and he rested his chin on my left shoulder. "Hunting sounds like an excellent suggestion."

While vampires rarely feel tired, my mind was exhausted from the tediousness of packing. I had a feeling this would be one of my less enjoyable activities in the coming years. Returning to the thought of hunting reminded me of my thirst. It had been four days since the last time I hunted. While this was not uncommon in my nomad days, it was a little disconcerting. I was trying to maintain control and not hurt anyone. That required me to hunt more often to maintain a certain level of control.

"There is not much choice as far as animals in the area, but there should be plenty of deer," Edward added.

I made a face of mild disgust at the suggestion of deer. "I suppose that will have to do," I said.

Deer was my least favorite prey to hunt, but they would suffice to help maintain my control. We untangled from our embrace and head out the back door, and into the forest. We found a small herd of deer to the east. "I think we are in a safe zone," I said, after checking for humans.

"We are in the clear," Edward confirmed.

Edward gave himself over to his instincts. His body moved with grace and agility as he followed the scent of the deer. I followed a short distance behind Edward keeping alert. I watched as Edward leaped with the grace of a lion onto the back of the buck taking it down quickly. I heard the deer's neck snap as Edward's teeth sunk into it.

I launched myself at the largest doe as the herd began to scatter. The remaining deer fled, their instinct telling them they were in danger. Edward and I drained our prey, and then disposed of the remains.

"Do you want to try and find those deer that scattered or are you done?"

"I am still thirsty. We should be able to track those deer down easily," I replied.

I ranged out with my senses and gave myself over to my instincts. The scent was strong and unexpected, but the promise of it quenching the burn in my throat sent my mind into a frenzy. Before I could react to the new smell, my body was hurled backwards into the ground.

"NO!" I heard Edward growl.

I felt his weight quickly on my body, holding me to the ground. My mind registered that the scent must be human, but I was too far gone to regain control. I felt Edward's right hand slam into my jaw and close my mouth; it also covered my nose and prevented me from breathing. I struggled against him, and tried to fight him off.

Edward was struggling to hold me down, but was managing to counter every move I made to push him off of me so that I could get to the sweet smell. My body was desperate to get at the smell and the promise it held.

The more I fought against Edward the more my survival instincts kicked in and my mind forgot momentarily about the scent.

'_Edward?'_ I thought horrified.

"Jazz, stop fighting me," Edward growled.

I immediately went limp and felt completely ashamed.

"Relax, Jazz. You did not do anything wrong," Edward said.

"I could have killed someone," I said ashamed, looking away from Edward.

"Jazz, that could have easily been me. You had better not start this self loathing bullshit, either. Look at me, Jasper."

"I could have hurt you, Edward . . ." – Edward interrupted me, "Jasper! I will not let you put yourself down. You have been doing an amazingly well. Mistakes happen, stop bringing yourself down. It was your instincts in control, not your mind."

"Fine!" I said in an angry tone.

"No, not fine! Knock it off Jasper. I am not going to let you beat yourself up. You have been on this new diet for less then a month. You did not hurt anyone."

I pushed Edward off of me, and stood up. I turned walking away from Edward with my head down. I was ashamed and horrified by what could have happened. I had never felt so weak before.

"Jazz, I love you. Please don't give up."

I stopped, and felt like I wanted to cry. How could Edward possibly love someone like me? I felt Edward tentatively place a hand on my back.

"I love you because you have a good heart, Jasper. You are a strong person, and you are trying to do the hardest thing anyone can possibly attempt. You are trying to go against your very nature, and that takes strength."

I slowly turned to face Edward, keeping my head down. Edward pulled me into a tight hug, "Please don't give up, Jazz. I know you will success if you just have faith in yourself, and stop beating yourself up."

"I am sorry. I am not use to feeling weak . . ." – Edward opened his mouth to interrupt me, but I continued on – "I am use to being the strongest fighter, the superior leader, and the best strategist. This challenge is far greater then I imaged. I am not giving up, but I am not use to feeling this way. I just do not know how to react, and I do not want to let anyone down."

"You are not letting anyone down, Jazz. We all know that this is a hard choice, but we also know it is worth it. We all support each other, which is how we succeed."

I knew Edward was right, but my mind was not use to thinking that way. It would take time for my mind to stop fighting against the thought of relying on others. I relied only on myself for more then sixty years. I did not know how to rely on others, or maybe I was just scared to let go of that control I felt I had.

"Let's finish hunting and head back home," Edward suggested. I nodded my agreement and we went off in search of more deer. I was not into the hunt as much after my little episode and stopped after finishing off another deer.

We completed our move to Rochester a month later. We were now waiting in the bank lobby of First Central Bank of Rochester. Carlisle and Edward were setting up two bank accounts that we would use for spending money. Most of our investments were being handled by Chase Manhattan in New York City, or First Chicago.

Edward had insisted that I also be listed on his account. I did not feel comfortable about that, but did it anyway to please Edward. I would do just about anything if it made Edward happy.

"I will remember that," Edward said.

'_I have no doubt that you will,'_ I thought.

Carlisle and Esme had found a modest sized house on the outskirts of Rochester overlooking a beautiful bay. The nearby forest touched the edge of our property and went on into the mountains that surround part of Rochester.

The house had two levels plus an attic. There were two out buildings on the property, one of which we turned into a garage for Carlisle and Edward's automobiles. Carlisle had recently purchased a brand-new Mercedes Benz 770 (Series 1 W07). Edward had also purchased an Audi Front UW 220. These cars seemed a bit flashy considering the economic depression, so Esme had insisted that we also purchased a Cadillac V 16. This car was more fitting with something a successful young, looking, surgeon would likely own.

Carlisle and Esme were much too young to truly play the role of our parents. Before the move it was decided that Edward who had similar features as Esme would play her younger brother, and I would play Carlisle's younger brother.

"Dr. Cullen, Mr. Cullen and Mr. Masen, Mr. Hale will see you now." We were lead to a small office where a nicely dressed human male sat waiting for us. Mr. Hale, as his name plate said, stood to greet us. "Dr. Cullen, Mr. Cullen, and Mr. Masen. Welcome to First Central Bank of Rochester. How many I assist you today?"

I tuned out of the conversation at that point. Financial matters were not something that interested me. Edward is the financial brains of the family. He had successfully invested Carlisle and his own money and had made huge returns. Other then when asked to signed my name, remembering to sign Jasper Cullen, I continued to ignore the conversation.

Only when Royce King II, the son of the bank's owner appeared to greet us, did I pay a bit more attention. It appeared that we were now one of the bank's major clients. "Dr. Cullen, it is a pleasure to meet you. I am Royce King II, my father is the bank's owner. If there is anything, we can do for you please let us know."

"Thank you, Mr. King. It is a pleasure to do business with you. Mr. Hale has been extremely helpful," replied Carlisle.

"I will leave you then in Mr. Hale's capable hands. Good day Gentlemen," Royce said in parting.

We completed our business at the bank and head back out to Carlisle's Mercedes. "Royce is an arrogant little prick," Edward said as we got into the car.

"Edward?" Carlisle said shocked.

"Sorry, but he is and I do not like him," Edward continued.

"What is wrong with Royce?" I asked.

"He's arrogant, rich and smug about it," Edward said.

'_I know an arrogant, rich person too.'_ I thought jokingly.

"You did not just compare me to Royce," Edward said, while turning around in the front seat to look at me.

"You are much more handsome," I winked.

Carlisle chuckled quietly from the driver's seat.

"I still do not like him. I just get some bad vibes from the tenure of his thoughts," Edward commented.

"What do you mean," I asked?

"It is hard to describe but his mind feels dark and reminds me of some of the human monsters I once hunted," Edward replied.

"Has he done anything to harm any other humans," Carlisle asked?

"No, and I honestly hope he does not. I have seen some horrible things that humans do to each other. It makes me angry to think about it," Edward answered.

"He has done nothing wrong. If he does, the human authorities will deal with it," Carlisle said.

Somehow I was not so sure about that. The Kings had money and lots of it. Money tended to be able to keep the rich from paying for their crimes. I had no doubt that if Royce King II ever did anything wrong that his daddy would pay to cover it up, and quickly.

We drove home only stopping once for Carlisle to fuel the vehicle. He was taking Esme to New York City for the weekend. They were planning on taking in a Broadway show and seeing the sites. I started reciting battlefield manuals while also thinking back to the conversation I had with Esme that led to their New York trip.

_Esme was out in her flower garden tending to the various flowers and plants._

"_Excuse me, Esme," I said._

"_Ah, Jasper. What can I do for you, dear?"_

_How do you tell your 'mother' that you want the house to yourself for a weekend so you and your boyfriend can be intimate? They sure do not teach that in school._

"_Jasper, why are you so nervous?"_

'_Oh crap!' I thought._

_I was projecting my feelings without being aware of it._

"_Sorry Esme. This is very awkward for me," My voice trembled slightly as I reigned in my feelings._

"_This by chance would not have to do with you feeling frustrated and lustful after returning from your hunting trips with Edward, would it?" Esme asked._

'_No!' I thought horrified._

_I wanted to crawl under a rock and die of embarrassment. I hid my face in my hands praying for this moment to pass. I felt a hand on my back a moment later and an apologetic Esme standing beside me._

"_I am sorry, Jasper. I did not mean to embarrass you," Esme spoke._

"_It is okay, Esme. I do wish you had said something sooner about me projecting my feelings. I would have tried harder to keep that in check," I said._

"_What? And miss out on all the extra fun that Carlisle and I had because of it?" Esme grinned._

'_Ugh.' I need to find a bigger rock to crawl under now. Esme and Carlisle are supposed to be like parents to me. No child wants to hear about their parents' sex life!_

"_Please do not be embarrassed, Jasper. Vampires, I have learned are very sexual creatures. I do have to say that I am quite surprised to learn that Edward and you have not been active in that way. Especially consider the amount of lust you have been projecting."_

"_We have wanted to wait for the right time. We want our first time together to be something special," I said._

"_I see. Have you put any thought into that?"_

"_I have, which is why I came to speak with you."_

"_I will help if I can."_

"_I was hoping to get some time along with Edward. At first I thought perhaps I could take him to a hotel and have a romantic weekend away. However, I do not have the funds to provide such a weekend. I also did not feel comfortable asking Carlisle for money, and asking Edward would only raise questions."_

"_How much do you need?" Esme asked._

"_No, no. That's not why I am here. I could not ask you for money for this either. I was hoping that perhaps you might be able to help me get a weekend alone with Edward here."_

"_Yes, I think, I maybe able to help you. Carlisle mentioned wanting to see a stage musical on Broadway. I am quite certain I can convince him to make it a weekend trip," Esme smiled._

Carlisle of course was eager to make the trip. He had made reservations at Hotel Warwick (The Warwick New York) which was located on 54th street and near many of the major midtown attractions.

We arrived back home a short while later. Edward and I were planning to go hunting this evening, and then return here for a quiet evening. Edward still had now idea what I was planning. I had learned how to block him in the last few weeks. While doing so usually required a bit of concentration, the annoyance I got from Edward was worth it.

"Jasper, would you join me in my study for a moment," Carlisle said upon exiting the car.

"I am going to change so we can go hunting. I will meet with you afterward," Edward said. I nodded and followed Carlisle into the house and down to his study.

"Have a seat, Jasper," Carlisle said. I sat down in one of the two chairs in front of Carlisle's desk, while he walked around and took his usual seat behind it. Carlisle was slightly nervous which was not usual for the calm doctor.

"Carlisle is everything alright?" I asked concerned.

"Everything is fine, Jasper. I just wanted to talk to you for a moment. Please do not be upset, but Esme let slip that there was more to this weekend away," Carlisle replied.

'_Oh please do not let this be what I think it is,'_ I thought. Carlisle noticed that I looked uncomfortable and continued on quickly.

"I will make this quick. I know that you and Edward will become sexually active at some point and I want to be sure that you two were prepared for when that happens," Carlisle continued.

'_Why me? And where was Edward! Ugh, this is so unfair!'_ I thought, while sinking lower into the chair. I just closed my eyes and nodded, hoping for this to be over soon.

Carlisle quickly explained the mechanics and possible issues with intercourse between two men. I was horrified that I was actually having this discussion. I was a nearly ninety-year-old vampire sitting with my father figure having a discussion about sex.

"Well here you go and if you have any questions I am here," Carlisle said handing me a jar.

I took the jar of Vaseline, "Is that all?" I asked embarrassed. Carlisle simply nodded and I was out of his office before he could change his mind.

'_That had to be the most embarrassing moment in all of my nearly ninety-years of existence,'_ I thought.

I quickly changed and went to go find Edward. I met Esme by the back door of the house. "Jasper, Edward said he was going on ahead and that he would wait for you at the meadow," Esme said.

"Thank you, Esme. Have a good time in New York with Carlisle," I replied. I placed a quick kiss on Esme's cheek as I headed out the door. I could not be upset with Esme, no matter how embarrassing that little episode had been. Esme was the most lovable and caring person I had ever met. Her motherly intuition could at times be a bit annoying, but she really did care for all of us.

I found Edward at our meadow. It was a small clearing located a few miles from the house that we had come across on one of our first hunting trips. Edward loved the wild flowers and the quiet of the location. We had spent a number of days here just enjoying each other's company.

We were able to find several mountain lions to satisfy our needs. I was pleased with the larger number of predators in New York. Deer was still abundant here, but I did have a preference for the larger animals.

We returned to the meadow a few hours later. We were lying on the floor of the meadow. The lust rolling off of Edward and I was thick in the air. I was on my back with Edward on top of me grinding his hips into mine. Our lips were pressed together firmly and our hands explored each other's body. I slid my hand down Edward's back over his firm butt.

I let my mind wander. I was picturing it; Edward and I completely naked with him beneath me as I moved slowly and gently in and out of him. I was picturing myself making slowly, sweet and passionate love to him.

In a flash he was gone. "Edward," I groaned!

'_You are giving me a serious case of blue balls,'_ I thought annoyed.

I could hear him chuckling in the distance, which only served to annoy me more. I rose to my feet and started running back toward the house, the direction of Edward's laughter. Esme and Carlisle would be gone by the time we got back to the house. I caught up to Edward after a mile.

"Ugh," Edward groaned when he found me blocking my thoughts.

"Why are you doing that? You know how much that annoys me," Edward complained.

"Yes, I know," I grinned. I continued to recite battlefield manuals much to Edward's annoyance.

"I promise you will find out soon what I am hiding." I only had to hide my thoughts for a few more minutes. We would be home and I could show Edward what I had planned for us.

"Please, tell me," Edward said, his eyes were smothering.

"That only works on humans, Edward." I said, not affected by his attempt at persuasion.

"Patience love, I promise you will be rewarded," I winked and took off toward the house as fast as I could run. I knew Edward would catch me soon, but I pushed myself harder. I made it to within a dozen feet of the stairs leading up to the back porch of the house before Edward knocked me to the ground.

"Got you," Edward laughed!

"Now tell me what you are hiding," I rolled onto my back and smiled up at Edward.

"I will do one better; if you let me up I will show you," I countered.

Edward thought about this for just a few seconds before letting me up. I took Edward's hand and led him into the house where we removed our shoes. I then led Edward to the base of the stair way leading to the second floor.

"Wait here," I said. Edward gave me a quizzical look but did not protest.

**A/N: Due to FFn's Ratings policy the remainder of this story can be read at TWCS. A link is available in my Author's Profile.**


	5. Unexpected

**Chapter 5: Unexpected**

Edward and Esme were gone to New York City for a day of shopping. They had invited me along, but I declined. Shopping was not exactly my favorite activity. My control over my thirst was better then it had been a year ago, but it was still difficult to be around humans for long periods of time. I was feeling a great deal better about my control, but I still had my doubts at times.

Carlisle was still at work, but would be home in a few short hours. I had spent the day reading, and working on my history lessons. I had enrolled, along with Edward, in a correspondence school that provide college level courses. At first I was a bit hesitant to do so, as I had not had formal education since I was a sixteen-year-old human. Edward, however, promised to help me and make sure I did not fail any of the courses. Much to my own surprise I did not need much help from Edward and did very well in all my course work.

I also took up playing the guitar again. I had not played since the time I joined the Confederate Army. Edward played the piano, but it was one of the few items that we were unable to move from St. Paul. Edward decided to donate it to the local St. Paul school system. This meant that he would purchase a new piano in Rochester, which he had done shortly after we moved here.

Edward had spent more than two weeks going to the different music stores in Rochester looking for the right piano. I had been dragged along on every trip to those same stores. To say I was annoyed would be an understatement.

"_I promise we will be in and out quickly," Edward said._

_This was our third visit to Levis Music Store. Mr. Levis was well aware that Edward was looking for a grand piano. During our previous visits Edward had taken a liking to the Steinway that Mr. Levis had on display._

"_Good Afternoon, Mr. Cullen and Mr. Masen," said Mr. Levis._

"_Good Afternoon Mr. Levis," Edward greeted. Levis Music Store was one of the few profitable businesses in Rochester not owned by the Kings. Edward had made it know to me that he was not going to purchase anything from any of the Kings' businesses._

_Edward walked over to the Steinway, immediately and sat down to play. Mr. Levis did not object, the last two times we were here he had managed to make several sales because of Edward's piano playing._

_I decide to check out the guitars that Mr. Levis had in stock. There was one that I liked from the last time I was here. Unfortunately it was more then I could afford at the moment. Edward had of course offered to purchase it for me, but I said no._

_I quickly found the guitar I liked, and picked it up to play. I had learned quickly that I still had the knowledge to play the guitar. I was a bit surprised that I had not forgotten this with my fading human memories._

"_I could offer you a discount on that one," Mr. Levis said from behind me. I really wanted it, but I just did not have the money. I was about to decline, "We'll take it and I would also like to purchase the Steinway," Edward answered._

'_No, you are not buying that guitar,' I thought._

_Edward chose to ignore me and continued to discuss the purchase with Mr. Levis. I was annoyed now. I hated when Edward spent money on me._ _I knew that he only did it because he loved me and wanted me to be happy. However, I felt that it made us uneven._

"_No, it does not. You gave me you and reunited me with my family. I will never be able to repay that, no matter how many material items I buy you. Please stop complaining, and let me buy it for you," Edward said much too low and quickly for Mr. Levis to hear._

'_Fine,' I thought grudgingly_

_I was not going to win this argument and I did not want to make a scene. Edward completed the purchased and scheduled the delivery of the piano. In addition to the piano and guitar, Edward also purchased a few music books._

In the end I did thank Edward for buying me the guitar. I had gotten numerous hours of enjoyment playing it; so many in fact that we'd been back to Levis Music Store to purchase new strings for it several times.

I looked over to the clock on the far wall across from my desk. There was still an hour before Carlisle would be home. I knew Edward and Esme would be back sometime tonight, but I was not sure when.

When we moved into this house, Esme had taken up the task of designing and overseeing the renovations. I was both talented with my hands as well as my mind. I offered those skills to help with the renovations, which Esme happily accepted.

My study was one of my first projects in the renovation. Esme wanted me to have my own space to decorate how I wanted. While Edward and I shared a bedroom, it was mainly his things that decorated the room. There was little of me in that space. Here in this room you could find things that were important to me. Built into the back corner furthest from the door was a glass case that held my Confederate Major's uniform.

On my desk sat several photos of my human family. It was my biggest connection to my humanity. I only wish I could remember their names. On the book shelves held the many books that Edward had purchased for me. There was everything from Shakespeare and Dickens to works covering historical events. Finally I had a chess table with ornately decorated pieces.

I placed the bookmark in my book and closed it. I stood from my chair and walked over to the fireplace. Above the mantel hung a Confederate Major's Sword, it was a Christmas gift from Edward. He was aware that I had lost mine when Maria changed me. It was the only piece missing from my uniform.

Edward had managed to find one that was very similar to mine, through a collector. I was quite speechless when I opened it. It was hard to process the emotions I felt at that moment. That night had started with a trip into the city to attend the Rochester Symphony Orchestra's Christmas concert.

_Carlisle, Edward and I were all dressed in black tuxes. Esme wore a beautiful evening gown that gave her a very sophisticated appearance. We had taken Carlisle's Mercedes to the event. Edward was ecstatic about the event. His emotions had me just as happy and thrilled to be going, even though I had never been to a symphony orchestra concert before._

_Carlisle had managed to secure balcony tickets for our entire area. There were only eight seats, four of which would remain empty. Edward explained that they did this so that we could enjoy the show without worrying about having humans too close._

_We were settling to our seats when I noticed Royce King II, and what I assumed was the human female whom he was courting. She looked familiar, but I was sure I had not seen her before._

"_Rosalie Hale," Edward said._

"_I'm sorry, what," I asked? I was confused by his statement._

"_The girl on Royce's ar. her name is Rosalie Hale. She is the daughter of Mr. Hale who works at the bank," Edward explained._

_I took a moment to watch her. She was very pretty, with long blonde hair and she was statuesque. She seemed to enjoy the attention she was getting from being with Royce._

"_Yes, she loves the attention, so does Royce for that matter," Edward added._

_Edward's emotions had an undercurrent of annoyance. "Why are you annoyed?"_

"_She is vain, and shallow. She views Royce as her prince," Edward replied._

_Edward could not stand Royce King II at all. It had gotten to the point where I usually went to the bank when Edward needed spending money. I really did not understand why he did not want to be in the same room as Royce. I mean I never felt anything except the rich, smug arrogance that many of the richer folk in this city seemed to give off._

"_I might snap his neck, just for the fun of it," Edward said seriously._

_I blinked, and looked at Edward, 'Are you serious?'_

_Surely Edward would not consider harming him, no matter how much he did not like Royce._

"_No, I probably would not, but it is best to avoid the temptation," Edward grinned._

_I shook my head and settled into my seat as the lights went down. During each piece Edward would explain to me who composed the music and a brief explanation of what the composer was trying to accomplish. Edward was totally enjoying this evening, which meant I was basking in emotional heaven._

_Edward chuckled quietly, "I guess I am very happy listening to the music."_

"_You are more then happy. You are thrilled, excited, joyful and blissful this evening," I replied._

"_I am just happy that I can share this with you," Edward smiled._

"_Me too," I replied._

_After the concert ended, we were in the lobby waiting for Carlisle to finish a conversation with a colleague when I was hit with a sudden spike of jealous._ _I turned in the direction it came from and noticed that Rosalie Hale was staring at Edward and me._

'_Why is she jealous?' I thought._

"_She is jealous because she thinks we look more beautiful then her. I told you, she is vain and shallow," Edward answered my thoughts._

_It would not be the first time that a human thought us beautiful. It was one of the many attributes we had that were designed to 'disarm' our intended prey. Humans tended to be drawn in by our beauty, smell, even our voice was attractive to them._

"_She thinks it unfair that we are so beautiful," Edward added._

'_This beauty comes at a high price,' I thought._

_If there was one thing that made this life, or existence, worth the price it would be Edward. I had fallen so deeply in love with him. He was the only thing I was not prepared to give up. Edward was the sun breaking through my cloudy existence._

When we returned home from the symphony, we exchanged gifts. It had taken me most of the year to accept Edward's money. This had been one of the hardest things I had to change about myself. Letting myself accept Edward's money took a lot of pride swallowing, and heated arguments between us. I did not go crazy with his money, our money as Edward called it, and spend it foolishly.

The biggest expense was for a first addition of Gray's Anatomy. I bought it with Carlisle's help as one of Edward's Christmas gifts from me. Edward's reaction to receiving the book was worth every penny.

Two weeks before Christmas also marked my one year anniversary on this new diet. I was immensely pleased with myself. I had managed to not slip up, thought I had several opportunities to do just that. Edward's constant encouragements and my determination not to let my family down had helped me through those moments. We celebrated the evening by going hunting for the largest game with could find.

I looked over to the clock and was puzzled. It was well past the time that Carlisle should have been home. He was never this late getting home unless he had to perform emergency surgery, but usually we received a call from the hospital saying he was in surgery. I checked the house once just to be sure that Carlisle had not slipped in without my knowing, but that was not the case.

I noticed the newspaper was sitting on an end table by the sofa in the sitting room. It reminded me of a conversation about a month ago. It seemed the Royce had proposed to Rosalie and they would be getting married, or so the wedding announcement stated.

"_Well this is most interesting. It appears that Royce King II is engaged to Rosalie Hale," Esme said. She had been reading the newspaper at the time._

"_She must be very happy about marrying him," I said._

"_I am sure she is thrilled. Rosalie is materialistic and Royce gives her what she wants. Sadly he does not love her," Edward replied._

_Edward did have a point there. I had never felt love from Royce for Rosalie, nor did I feel it coming from Rosalie. There was plenty of lust between them, but lust does not make a marriage work._

"_No, it most certainly does not. She is only marrying him because he will give her everything she has ever dreamed about," Edward added._

"_Carlisle received an invitation to the wedding, did you boys want to join us," asked Esme?_

"_No, thank you," Edward and I responded together._

_Esme chuckled, but did not say more on the subject._

I looked at the grandfather clock before picking up the newspaper to discard it. I noticed that it was over an hour past the time Carlisle should have been home. I was debating on whether or not I should go out looking for him or wait till Edward came home.

My debating came to an end quickly when I heard the handle of the front door smack against the wall as it was opened quickly. Carlisle rushed in carrying a human female. I could tell from the scent that she had been bleeding recently, but that it had been stopped for a short time.

"Carlisle, what is going on?" I asked.

"She as attacked and raped, I have done everything I can to save her human life, but she was too badly injured. She is dying," Carlisle replied.

I looked down at the sofa where Carlisle had just placed the female he was carrying. I was shocked. It was Rosalie Hale.

"Carlisle that is Rosalie Hale!"

"I know, but I could not leave her there to die."

I looked up into Carlisle's eyes and was well aware of the determination that lay within them. I knew immediately what he intended to do.

"You are going to change her," I stated.

Carlisle only nodded as he worked quickly to prepare Rosalie. "Edward will not be happy, and to be honest. I am not sure that this is the best solution, but I will respect your decision," I added.

"Thank you, Jasper. I know Edward will be upset, but he will come around. I am going to start, you may want to leave until I am done," Carlisle replied.

I nodded and quickly headed out the back door. I needed to hunt. The smell of her wounds was strong and made me thirsty, but I was in control of myself. I had to hunt for another reason. In three days there would be a newborn vampire in our house and it was going to take a lot of my energy to keep her calm.

Newborn vampires are unpredictable and highly dangerous. My family was too important to me to take any chances. I also had the feeling I was going to need to keep Edward calm, and possibly prevent him from saying something he might regret. I just hoped I could make this hunt quick and get back before he and Esme returned.

I ran high up into the mountains surrounding Rochester. A few miles from the house I found a mountain lion stocking a herd of deer. I had lucked out considerably. The mountain lion would make it easier on me for the next few days.

I checked quickly for humans, sensing that I was in the clear I pounced on the lion. I maintained my control for as long as possible and only gave myself over to my instincts just before I bit into the lion's neck. I drained the lion and then took down a buck and a doe. When I finished, I headed back to the house.

Edward and Esme were still not home, but I hoped they would be home soon. I could feel that Rosalie was in pain from the venom now flowing through her veins. I approached the house slowly; preparing myself for what I knew would be an intense three days.

Carlisle had cleaned the mess and had moved Rosalie into the spare bedroom. He was sitting in a chair beside the bed she laid upon when I entered. Rosalie's hands were gripping the bedspread tightly. She was not screaming, but I knew that would change as the venom continued to spread.

"Can you tell if she is in pain?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes, she is and it is slowly building. It won't be much longer before it overwhelms her and she begins begging for someone to end the pain," I replied. This was the hardest part of any transformation. The pain of the venom burning in your veins is something you never forget.

"Has she spoken about who was her attacker?" I asked.

"No, she has not spoken at all. I am sure that if she thinks about it that Edward will be able to tell us when he returns home," Carlisle replied.

As if on cue I heard Edward's car pull into the garage. I braced myself for what was to come. I knew that Edward was not going to be happy with what had happened, but I hoped that he would not be too angry.

"What am I going to be angry about?" Edward asked as he entered the house. This was not my fight, but I would try and keep everyone calm. It only took a moment longer before Edward was in the room with us.

I watched as Edward scanned the room. I knew he recognized Rosalie instantly when he saw her. He looked between her and Carlisle several times. "Rosalie Hale! Carlisle, what were you thinking?"

"I could not just leave her, Edward. It was too much waste," Carlisle replied.

Edward knew I was monitoring his emotions and I knew he was fighting to keep calm. He pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger with his right hand. I watched as he took several deep breaths.

"She is a bit recognizable, don't you think? The Kings will need to put up a large reward, not that anyone suspects the fiend," Edward said through clenched teeth.

"What?" I asked surprised. Both Carlisle and I looked at Edward stunned.

"Her attacker, it was Royce and his friends. They were drunk, but that is no excuse for what they did to her," Edward replied. "I told you he was no good, but none of you listened to me. The bastard is going to go unpunished."

"Are you sure, Edward?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes, that is all she is thinking about at the moment," Edward answered.

Edward sighed and left the room. His emotions were seething with angry, but I knew it was not directed at Carlisle. I looked back to Carlisle who motioned for me to follow Edward. I nodded and left the room. I found Edward in our bedroom pacing back and forth.

"Edward," I said, but he did not answer. He just continued to pace the room, so I leaned back against the door frame. On the tenth or so pass Edward made a fist and aimed it at the wall a few feet to my right. I reached out and grabbed his fist before he could punch it through the wall.

"Esme will be angry with you if you make a hole in her wall," I said. Edward looked at me with his eyes black and full of fury.

"I think we need to get out of here. You need to hunt and blow off some steam," I said.

Edward closed his eyes and nodded. I grabbed our coats and a couple of other items and we were out the door. We ran deep into the forest and into the mountains. It took only a few short minutes to find a large lynx.

'_I hunted earlier, it is all yours,'_ I thought.

I leaned against a nearby tree as I watched as Edward stalked his prey. My eyes raked over his amazing muscular body. He was draining the lynx as I was undressing him with my eyes. I closed my eyes and brought up memories of Edward and me releasing energy in a more intimate way.

I opened my eyes when I felt movement in front of me. Edward pressed his body against mine; pushing me into the tree I was leaning against. "I want you, now," Edward growled before kissing me. I moved my hands to Edward's head and gripped my fingers into his hair holding his lips to mine.

(...) **A/N: Due to FFn's Ratings policy this section of the story can be read at TWCS. A link is available in my Author's Profile.** (...)

Edward breath was ragged against my ear, but he did not stop. He brought us to four more pleasure filled releases before we finally stopped. "It is a good thing I am not human, or I would be sore after all that," I commented as we were getting dressed.

"If we were human, we would still be recovering from last week," Edward joked.

Thinking back to last week and the fun Edward and I had here made me lust for him again. "We don't have time, Jazz. We really should get back to help Carlisle," Edward said.

I nodded. "Are you ok or are you still angry?" I only asked because our emotions were still focused on our recent activities. Normally I would not need to ask to know if he was angry.

"I'm not angry with Carlisle, but he can't go around turning every human because they are dying."

I understood where Edward was coming from, and he was right. I also had a feeling that Carlisle may have saved Rosalie for another reason. I was pulled out of that thought as I felt anger rising in Edward.

"Edward," I gasped from the sudden change in his emotions.

"Royce is going to get away with what he did now. He and his friends need to pay for what they did to her," Edward growled.

"Edward," I said grabbing his arm. "You are not that person anymore, and you cannot go after him. You need to be focused on listen to people's thoughts to make sure now one suspects us in her disappearance. We are also going to have a newborn vampire to deal with and Carlisle will need our help. I will need your help," I ended in a whisper.

"Jazz? What's wrong," Edward asked?

"Edward . . . the thirst is going to be her defining emotion for a while. Anything she feelings for the first year will be chaotic, and I will feel every one of those emotions as if they are my own," I replied with a frown.

"Oh, Jazz," Edward said pulling me into a hug. "I am sorry. We can go away for a year," Edward suggested.

"No, we can't, Edward. Carlisle and Esme will need us. I'll manage, and I've lived through it many times before. I am going to need to hunt more often," I replied.

"We'll go hunting whenever you need. We are also going to have to move when things calm down around here."

"Somewhere remote would be good to help Rosalie adjust," I said.

Edward pulled back from our hug, "Jazz, if you ever need to just get away for a few days or longer please tell me. I know that Carlisle and Esme will understand if we leave for a few days or so."

I nodded. I knew that if it got too bad I would need to leave for a while. "You are not leaving alone. We are in this together. If you need to go, I am going with you," Edward said firmly.

I nodded, and Edward hugged me again. "We need to get back," I said.

We found Esme sitting outside the house on the porch steps. She was feeling sad and upset, "Esme, what is wrong," I asked?

"Oh, Jasper, I am sorry. She is awake now and was begging me to help her die. She is in so much pain. I... I did not know what to do," Esme said pained.

"It is okay, Esme. We have all been there and know how painful it is to go through the change," Edward said as he pulled Esme into a hug. I projected out a wave of calm.

"Thank you, Jasper," Esme said.

"I will go and see if I can be of assistance to Carlisle," I said.

"I'll come with you. Are you going to be ok, Esme?"

"You boys go ahead, I will be fine. I just need a moment to collect myself," Esme said.

I gave Esme a hug after Edward broke apart theirs, "Call if you need me."

Carlisle was still in the spare bedroom with Rosalie. She heard us enter, "Please kill me it burns!"

"I'm sorry, Rosalie, but we won't do that," I said.

Edward walked over to Carlisle, "I am sorry about earlier. I was not angry with you, but Carlisle we can't always save people by changing them."

"I know, Edward. I could not leave, not after what they did to her."

"He needs to pay for what he did, all of them do," Edward said angrily.

"Edward! Now is not the time," I said. "Carlisle have you told her what we are and what is happening to her?"

"I started to tell her, but I am not sure she understood," Carlisle replied.

I walked over to the bed and sat down on it beside Rosalie. She turned her head and looked at me. "Please make it stop," she begged.

"I am sorry. I wish I could take away the pain, but it will be over soon. Rosalie, do you know who I am?"

Rosalie looked at me for a moment before speaking, "You're Jasper Cullen."

"Good, Rosalie. Did you understand what Carlisle was telling you earlier?"

"The pain, it burns. Please, please make it stop," she screamed. I tried to calm her, but I knew it would have little effect.

"Rosalie, I need you to listen to me. I know the pain hurts, but what we are telling you is important," I said.

She did not respond, but continued to moan in pain. "Edward, is she understanding anything I am saying?"

"She understands, but the pain is distracting her. If you can keep her focused, it may help her deal with the pain to keep her mind active," Edward replied.

"Rosalie, I need you to concentrate on my voice and what I am telling you. I know you are in pain, but screaming about it or begging us to kill you will not help. We are not going to hurt you, but there are things we need to tell you. Do you understand?" I said.

"Yes," she replied in agony.

"Stay focused on my voice. You are in pain because you are changing. It was the only way to save your life. You are change to become like us. Do you understand?" I continued.

"Yes."

"We are not human. We are vampires," I said and looked to Edward to see if she understood.

Rosalie's moans of pain grew quieter, "She understands, but she doesn't really believe you."

Edward said, and then turned to Carlisle. "What are we going to do with her?"

"That is up to her. She may want to go her own way," Carlisle replied.

"No!" Rosalie said quickly.

"She is thinking that she does not want to be alone. She's starting to believe what Jasper has been telling her," Edward said.

"Rosalie, I am telling you the truth. We are vampires, but we do not hunt humans. We live off the blood of animals," I said to continue my explanation. We spent the next hour doing our best to explain to Rosalie what she was becoming.

Carlisle sat by her side for the three days she was changing.

Just under three days later Rosalie had completed her transformation. Edward and I took her hunting for the first time after we had explained again that we were vampires and why Carlisle had changed her.

She was extremely angry with Royce, and that worried me. Carlisle told Rosalie she was not to leave the house unless she was going hunt, and that at least one of us had to go with her. Rosalie understood that she could not go back to her old life, and we did welcome her to the family.

Esme and Edward had gone into town during her transformation for two reasons. Esme wanted to purchase some clothing for Rosalie, and Edward wanted to check people's thoughts. According to Edward the police had no suspects, but were focused on speaking with Rosalie's friend Vera. They did not suspect Royce at all.

We returned home from hunting. Edward and I met with Carlisle to discuss our plans.

"Edward, I would like you to keep monitoring the thoughts of people here a while longer. When you think it is safe then we should move. I will start laying the ground work at the hospital that I have a sick aunt," Carlisle said.

"Have you given any thought to where we will move to," I asked?

"I was thinking we would move somewhere remote. This would provide Rosalie with a better chance at adjusting to this life during the newborn phase," Carlisle replied.

"I had similar thoughts," I replied.

"Perhaps we should head south some ways. The Appalachia region is low in population and I am sure that the people there could use a good doctor," Edward suggested.

"I would prefer if we don't go further south then Virginia," I added.

"That is fine. I will see if I can find an opening at a hospital in the region, or perhaps open a private practice," Carlisle responded.

Rosalie joined us after having changed into one of the skirt and blouse outfits that Esme had purchased for her. "What are we going to do about Royce," she asked?

"There is nothing we can do about him," Edward answered.

Rosalie was annoyed by Edward's response. "You don't want to do that, Rosalie. I use to hunt his type, and you don't want that guilt on your conscience. It eats at you."

I assumed Edward was answering Rosalie's thoughts. I realized what she was thinking.

"Rose, you are barely a day old to this life. Even if we did agree with your plan to deal with Royce, You do not have the control necessary to see it through. I am sorry. We all agree he should pay for what he did to you, but I do not think this is the way," I said.

Rosalie huffed, and I sent out a wave of calm. I knew she was angry and she wanted to get revenge on Royce. "Rose, I know you were wronged by him. However, going after Royce could expose us and that is dangerous for all of us. Humans are not supposed to know about vampires," Carlisle said.

"So he gets away with what he did to me," Rosalie asked upset?

"No, we'll find a way to make sure he pays for it," Edward said.

"Careful, Edward, Carlisle is right. We can't go after Royce, at least not right now."

I felt Edward was now annoyed. "You both are killing me here, can we knock it off with the annoyed emotions," I said. Edward huffed, but calmed himself and I sent a wave of calm to Rosalie.

"Edward, I would like you and Jasper to go into town tomorrow and continue to see what the people are thinking. I should be back just before dawn." Carlisle stood, and left for the hospital.

"Rosalie, you are welcome to join Edward, Esme and me. We are going to be listening to the Metropolitan Opera's radio broadcast," I said.

"Thank you, Jasper. I would like that," Rosalie said.

Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room and into the music room where we would listen to the show on the radio. I noticed that Edward was feeling possessive.

'_Why are you feeling possessive?'_ I thought.

Edward chose not to answer me, which was annoying. Esme had already turned the radio on and set it to the proper station. Edward led us over to one of the sofas. He sat down and stretched out with his feet extending to the other end of the sofa. "Where am I going to sit," I grinned?

Edward did not answer, but instead pulled me onto the sofa with him so that I was between his legs. He wrapped one arm tightly around me as I saw Rosalie enter the room. She looked at us shocked, but said nothing.

"She was having thoughts about you that I did not like," Edward whispered into my ear, just loud enough for only me to hear.

'_Oh, well that explains things. You have nothing to worry about, Edward. I love you. You mean everything to me, so please don't worry about Rosalie trying to steal me from you,'_ I thought.

Edward settled comfortably into the sofa, and I leaned into his chest and rested my head on his shoulder. I closed my eyes as tonight's broadcast began; it was 'Tristan und Isolde'. Edward held me possessively during the entire broadcast, but I did not object.

I could feel Rosalie's eyes on us throughout the opera broadcast, but did my best to ignore it. I knew if I thought about it, that it would annoy Edward. I did find another way to annoy Edward that was much more fun. My left hand spent most of the opera pressed up against Edward's inner thigh with my fingers within easy reach of his manhood. I felt Edward's lust and frustration during the whole performance.

Edward was not able to stop me from having my fun without bring attention to us. I smiled internally at how much fun this was for me.

"I'll make you pay for this later," Edward whispered just loud enough for me to hear.


	6. Past Hurts

**Chapter 6: Past Hurts**

It had been over a year since we moved from Rochester, New York, to Appalachia, Virginia. It had been a very difficult year for me, but I had managed not to slip up. Rosalie's constant emotional roller coaster, due to her being a newborn, drove me nearly crazy at times.

Edward had clued in quickly to when I was nearing my breaking point, and arranged numerous trips during the year so that I could have a bit of peace. We had visited every museum in New York, Boston, Philadelphia and Washington, D.C. We had also been to just about every shop in New York, and had attended the symphony in each of the previously mentioned cities numerous times.

We had also completed our college courses in record time. Edward had his first medical degree, and was now assisting Carlisle. Edward did not have control over his thirst when human blood was freshly present, because of this he did not assist when blood was involved. Edward seemed to be in his element with helping Carlisle.

Carlisle chose to open his own private practice when we moved to Appalachia. He was extremely proud of Edward joining him in the private practice. I had not been aware that I was hovering around Carlisle during that first week, when he was home. I couldn't help myself. His mood was so euphoric that I was drawn to be near him.

Carlisle had of course noticed but said nothing about it. We had spent the time conversing about various topics, and playing chess. Carlisle was an amazing chess opponent and I was actually challenged by his level of skill. Edward was also a great chess opponent but his gift made playing against him difficult, and annoying. When playing against Carlisle I lost as often as I won, but playing against Edward was totally different. I lost a lot, as in nearly all the time.

Turning my attention back to the newspaper I was reading I let out a sigh. During our weekend trip to New York, to catch a symphony concert, I had picked up a copy of the New York Times. There was an article in the regional section reporting about the death of a son of a prominent Rochester family. William Royal was a friend of Royce King II. William was also one of Rosalie's attackers.

I knew this day would come, but I was not any less angry about it. I was certain that Rosalie had something to do with his death, and that she was putting us all at risk. I also knew she was very upset that they had gotten away with what they did to her. I honestly could not blame her for wanting to kill them, but the risk to our family was very real.

I picked up the newspaper from my desk and headed to Rosalie's room. Our home here was smaller then in Rochester. The first floor consisted of a sitting room, a kitchen, dining room (which we used for meetings), Carlisle's study, and a combination music room and library. The bedrooms were located on the second floor. I had forgone a study in favor of a larger bedroom for Edward and me. We had extended it so that we could include most of the items from my study. Rosalie's room was at the opposite end of the house from mine and Edward's room. I knocked on the door lightly and waited for her acknowledgment.

"Come in, Jasper."

I took a deep breath then entered the room. Rosalie was sitting on her sofa reading a book. She put the book down as I stopped a few feet in front of her.

I held out the newspaper toward Rosalie. She raised an eyebrow at me before taking the newspaper from me.

"The second article on the page," I said calmly.

Inside I was feeling angry, hurt and somewhat betrayed. I considered Rosalie my sister and I would do just about anything to protect her, as I would for the rest of the family. I was seriously hoping that she was not involved. Rosalie took her time to read the article, but I knew she was involved before she finished. I felt her angry, but also remorse that she had put us at risk.

"I am sorry, Jasper. I know you are angry with me, but I could not let him . . . I cannot let them get away with what they did to me." Rosalie said.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, an annoying habit I had picked up from Edward. "I know what they did to you was very wrong. It may surprise you to know that Edward and I had considered killing them for what they did to you. We also knew that we could not do that without exposing our family."

"I knew Edward wanted to kill them, but I never understood why. It's not as if Edward likes me," Rosalie replied.

"Edward does like you, Rosalie. Edward thinks of you as his sister and he loves you like a sister. I know that the two of you did not get off on the right foot, but if you give him a chance you will see that he does care about you," I replied.

Rosalie huffed, but didn't protest to my suggestion. "The humans don't suspect anything out of the ordinary yet with William's death, but that will change if the others die in the same way."

Rosalie looked up at me in shock. "You're not going to stop me?"

I shook my head, "No, so long as you listen to what I tell you, and no humans get suspicious. Carlisle won't be happy, but I doubt he'll be angry with you."

"Why?"

"A woman should never be violated in the way that Royce and his friends violated you. They not only beat you and violated you, but they took your virtue by force. That is inexcusable, and they do need to be punished," I paused I was starting to feel angry by what they had done to Rosalie.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes to calm myself before continuing. "I will teach you what to do to make their deaths look accidental so that humans won't be suspicious, and that our likelihood of exposure is reduced," I paused again, "This family means everything to me, Rosalie, don't screw this up. If you need help ask."

I spent the next hour explaining to Rosalie how she could make their deaths look accidental, but also send a message to Royce that something was coming for him. The last part was important to Rosalie, and I told her that Royce should be smart enough to figure it out.

After speaking with Rosalie I headed to meet Edward and Carlisle at the Clinic. We were planning to go hunting together after the clinic closed for the weekend. It was a perfect day for vampires to be out during daylight hours. The sky was very cloudy and a storm was brewing to the west.

I entered the clinic through the back door near the edge of the forest. I called out to Edward and Carlisle as I closed the door. I placed my backpack down by the door and walked into the main part of the clinic. Edward exited the medical supply closet and quickly pulled me into his arms. We shared a brief kiss.

"I need to give these to Ms. Wilkes for her son's ear infection." Edward said holding a small bag with a few pills inside.

Edward walked down the hallway to the first door nearest the lobby. I could over hear his conversation with Ms. Wilkes. Her husband had died a few months back from a bear attack. The family had been struggling ever since. Mr. Wilkes was the solo provider for the young family. Upon hearing the news of his death Esme had been heartbroken and had secretly 'adopted' the family. Ms. Wilkes had one son, William, who was barely eight-years-old.

"Here you go Ms. Wilkes. Have William take these twice a day for the rest of the week. If the infection doesn't clear up by then come back and I'll provide you a few more days worth of the medicine." Edward said.

"Thank you Dr. Masen. Umm . . . how much do I owe you?" I heard Ms. Wilkes ask tentatively. "There is no charge. Please just see that William feels better," Edward replied. I could hear the smile in his voice. I could feel the relief flowing from Ms. Wilkes. "Thank you again Dr. Masen."

One of the things we quickly learned when we moved to Appalachia was that many of the families here were hit hard by the depression. Esme, ever the mother, had taken to secretly 'adopting' the more needy families in the area. She was quite the skilled gardener when it came to flowers. She had Edward and I purchase several books on vegetable gardening for her during our first trip to New York.

By the end of summer Esme had grown a huge vegetable garden and given it all away secretly to the families she had 'adopted'. She also gave away the food that she purchased weekly at the local general store. We had to keep up appearances and instead of the food going to waste it was going to feed needy families in the area.

Doing this brought Esme a lot of joy, and I had unintentionally been gravitating toward her. During the course of the summer I had learned a bit of gardening from Esme and had helped her build and tend to the vegetable garden. To be honest I was actually quite happy with myself. I had spent more then half a century taking lives and now here I was helping to provide for the life of several struggling families.

Edward returned to where I was standing and removed his lab coat. He hung it on one of the nearby pegs, and turned his attention to me.

"Are you ready for this weekend?" Edward asked.

I was very excited about the weekend. Carlisle, Edward and I had not been hunting together alone in well over a year. Carlisle tended to go with Esme, but she and Rosalie were going away also for a shopping trip to Philadelphia this weekend. Esme and Rosalie had hunted earlier in the week, and Carlisle had planned to go with them but was needed to tend to an emergency.

Esme and Rosalie had formed a close bond over the past year. They referred to these shopping trips as a mother-daughter bonding weekends. They did these every few months now that Rosalie was past her newborn stage. Rosalie loved pretty things and Esme loved shopping for us.

"Yes. I am very excited. We haven't spent enough time together, _alone," _ I said the last word seductively.

"Jazz? We won't be alone," Edward replied.

"Carlisle can watch if he wants, I don't care," I grinned, while leaning in to kiss Edward.

"I think I'll pass on that, thank you Jasper," Carlisle said while walking past us toward the lobby.

Edward was embarrassed and Carlisle was amused. I just smirked and kissed Edward.

"I need to pay Ms. Mills, and then we can leave," Carlisle added. Ms. Mills was the receptionist/nurse for the clinic. She assisted Carlisle with various procedures where Edward could not; mainly when blood was present.

I heard Edward sigh, "Carlisle, seems we have another patient coming." I was about to speak when I felt Edward stiffen beside me. "Edward?" I started.

"Carlisle, its Mr. Green. He's been attacked by a bear," Edward said quickly. Carlisle who had only managed to get half way down the hallway turns his head in a flash to look at us.

"GO!" was all he said. His voice was quick, low and full of authority.

Edward grabbed my arm tightly and started dragging me toward the back door. He picked up my backpack and led us out the back door.

"Edward, I can walk on my own," I complained.

Edward did not let go. As soon as we were out the door Edward took off sprinting for the forest, and dragging me along for the ride. I did my best to keep up, but after less then a quarter mile I was in pain.

'_Edward, slow down! You're going to fast, and I can't keep up!'_ I thought.

My legs burned from the short sprint into the forest. Edward had taken off running as fast as he could.

Edward came to a stop, "Sorry, Jazz. I overreacted."

He was reading my thoughts and I could feel his remorse. I sat down and started rubbing my calf muscle of my right leg.

'_Oh fuck that hurt.'_ I thought.

"Sorry, sorry." Edward said as he got down next to me and started rubbing my left calf. It was rare for vampires to feel pain, but obviously I had over exerted myself. We spent the next ten minutes working over my leg muscles to stop the aching and burning. Edward of course apologized several more times before I kissed him, and told him to shut up.

When Carlisle joined us twenty minutes later, my legs were back to normal. "Mr. Green's injuries weren't too bad. He was lucky not to be out hunting alone," Carlisle said.

"Should perhaps focus on the bear population this weekend?" I asked. I really did not like deer that much and this would be a good excuse to splurge.

"That actually is probably a good idea, Jasper. This is the fifth attack this month," Carlisle replied. I hadn't realized there had been so many attacks. Edward and I got up off the ground, and the three of us head out to hunt.

It took us about forty-minutes to reach our destination. We setup our camp in a clearing not far from a nearby river. Edward pulled down two trees from the forest. He and I then chopped up the wood for a campfire and split two of the logs in half to be used as seating. Carlisle dug out the fire pit and setup a circle of stones around it. As soon as we finished with the campsite we headed into the forest to hunt bear. It was not long before Edward had picked up on the scent of at least two bears to the south of us.

"Jasper and I will share one of them, and you can have the other," Edward said to Carlisle.

Carlisle protested, stating he could wait longer. Edward and I insisted, and Carlisle relented.

"I'll wait for the two of you to start feeding before taking the second bear," Carlisle said. He wanted to stay on guard incase of humans.

We reached the bears, two males. They were growling at each other, and circling each other as if challenging or defending territory. I gave a quick glance to Carlisle who nodded. I gave myself over to my instincts. The bloodlust haze took over my body and my mind.

I snapped the bear's neck as soon as I had landed on it. Edward was beside me a second later and our teeth sunk into the animal's neck. We greedily drank down the rich warm liquid. The fire in my throat relented as it was soothed by the bear's blood. I was vaguely aware that the other bear had stopped its growling suddenly. Carlisle was obviously feed on it.

It took only a minute or so for Edward and me to finish draining the creature. Our instincts were still in high gear and I tackled Edward feeling an immense amount of lust for him. My lips pressed against his and I kissed him passionately. Edward returned the kiss, and I could taste the remains of the blood on his lips.

It seemed that hunting brought out the need for Edward and me to be together. Edward had asked Carlisle about why this was happening. Carlisle had said that mating was an instinctual response. It was likely that by giving ourselves over to our instincts we were triggering our mating instincts. A throat clearing brought Edward and I out of our haze.

"Oops!" I said as Edward and I quickly split apart.

'_That was slightly embarrassing.'_ I thought.

I could feel Edward's embarrassment and Carlisle's amusement at the situation. "I take it that my hypothesis is pretty much on the mark after that little display," Carlisle chuckled.

I swear that Edward and I would have been red as a tomato if we were human. "I am still thirsty," I said. I was trying to change the subject. Carlisle smirked at me, but did not call me on it.

"Let us head further into the forest and we should be able to find something," Carlisle suggested.

We followed his lead and were soon rewarded with another male bear. Edward and I shared this one while Carlisle tracked another bear a half mile away. Edward and I managed not to get caught up this time in our instincts. We went to find Carlisle who was disposing of another male bear.

"Why are there so many males here? I would have thought we would have come across a few females," Edward commented.

"I am not sure, but it might explain their aggressive behavior. They must be acting territorially and attack anything they believe to be a threat," Carlisle remarked.

I let Edward and Carlisle discuss their newest hypothesis. I was just happy to have something other then deer to sink my teeth into. We headed back to our campsite after we made sure we had disposed of the corpses properly. Carlisle set about building a small campfire to provide light. Fire is one of the few ways to destroy a vampire. The vampire would of course need to be torn apart first, or else they could just walk away.

I was sitting on one of the half logs using it as a seat, and watching the flames lick the fire wood. The colors were very pretty.

"This brings back memories," Edward said quietly. I slowly turned my head to see Edward looking at the fire with a smile upon his lips. Carlisle who was seated between us turned to Edward.

"You are referring to the times we went hunting before Esme joined us?" Carlisle finished the statement in a questioning tone.

"Yes. I was remembering how you use to tell me stories of your time before you found me," Edward replied.

"Those are good memories. I enjoyed telling you those stories. The light in your eyes as you thought about those experiences I had was always a joy to see," Carlisle replied.

"Would you share more of those stories?" Edward asked.

"I would, but you both have heard all my stories," Carlisle replied.

"Not all," I whispered quietly. I hadn't expected Carlisle to hear me.

I watched his face frown, but he nodded in agreement. "No, not all," Carlisle said just as quietly.

We all stared silently into the flames of the glowing campfire. The one thing Carlisle never spoke of, at least never spoke of in-depth, was of his time with the Volturi. I knew from what Edward told me that Carlisle was a close friend of Aro, the Volutri leader. He was also likely a member of the guard leadership based upon the color of his cloak and the medallion that Edward told me about.

"_It was about twenty years after I had been changed."_ Carlisle began.

(_Italic_ = Carlisle's Point-of-View)

_I had studied at most of the major universities in England and France. I decided to go south, and I ended up in Italy. That is where I met Aro, Caius and Marcus, the leaders of the Volturi. They were more civilized then the wraith of the London sewers. They attended the opera, concerts and plays. They were learned in many languages, and various arts._

_Aro had been fascinated by my choice not to feed upon humans. Caius was not so accommodating and said it was a deviant behavior. Caius made it his mission to try and subjugate me to the vampire human diet. His lack of success infuriated him, but seemed to amuse Aro._

_I stayed with the Volturi as a guest for nearly ten years before Aro offered me a place with the guard. Aro was a collector, not just of art. He collected many things and his most prized possessions were his living specimens._

_My choice had always cause vampires who did not know me to think of me as a lesser adversary. Aro of course was aware of this from having read my thoughts. Aro is gifted. With the touch of a hand he can read all your thoughts, and memories. He believed he could use this knowledge to his advantage. With that knowledge I was placed in charge of a special group of vampires. I co-lead the group with another vampire, Eleazar; although Eleazar tended to defer to my judgment. There were six of us in the group, but only Eleazar and I did the planning and talking. The other four members were mainly there to protect Eleazar and me._

_Eleazar was a gifted vampire. His gift was the ability to determine the gifts of other vampires, a very powerful gift that had many uses. For this endeavor that we were to undertake it would be used to expand Aro's living collection._

_I was naive at the time and did not know that this was the purpose of our assignment. Aro did not hide that he was interested in expanding our ranks. Stating that the wars in southern part of America would require our attention some day soon, and he wanted a strong force to deal with it._

_We were to seek out vampires who were gifted and humans who demonstrated a latent gift. We were to offer the vampires a place with the Volturi Guard. Serving with the guard is an honor and many vampires are quite proud to join the Volturi Guard. We did have several of our finds join the guard willingly. A few joined us after their covens had been decimated by an unknown rival._

_I can remember one occasion where shortly after Eleazar and I had found a vampire with a powerful gift an accusation against the leader of the coven resulted in the death of the leader and most members of the coven. Aro had attended that incident and offered to allow the survivors to live if any of them would join the guard. The vampire who was gifted joined us with little hesitation._

_It was years later after I left the Volturi before I learned that Aro was not above using whatever means necessary to get what he wanted. While Caius maybe hot tempered and filled with bloodlust, it is Aro who is the most dangerous of the brothers. Aro had used the gift of Chelsea, a member of the guard, to form a bond between himself, the guard and the gifted vampire from the other coven._

This was the most that Carlisle had ever shared about his time with the Volutri. I was mildly surprise to learn that he had been involved so deeply. I knew from the cloak he was in the leadership, but little more. Carlisle had stopped speaking and was staring deeply into the fire. I felt his emotions change and I could tell he was trying to suppress a great deal of pain and sorrow. There was also a strong sense of guilt that laced his emotions.

_It was a few weeks after returning from my last mission I was in my room reading when one of Caius's personal guards came to summon me to meet with Caius. It appeared he had an urge task for me that could not wait. It was very near to feeding time, but I assumed I could make it in and out before then. I was very wrong._

_My mind was distracted and I did not realize that they were already feeding until I had opened the door to the audience chamber. The smell of blood hit me so strong that I nearly lost my mind. It took all my strength to keep from giving into the urge to feed._

_Caius appeared at my side a moment later with a beautiful auburn haired woman. She was young, maybe seventeen or eighteen. She had beautiful emerald green eyes, and she was fair._

"_She is beautiful, is she not?" Caius asked me. I only nodded; I did not trust my voice._

_I looked into her eyes and they were filled with terror. She had no doubt witnessed the feeding in the room. I could see my eyes black with thirst reflected in her eyes._

"_We saved her just for you, Carlisle. She smells divine. Breathe in her scent and give in," Caius continued._

_I tentatively took her in my arms. I had control, just barely. I vowed to myself that I would not feed upon her._

"_I will leave you to her meal," Caius said with a smirk and flitted away. He seriously thought he had finally forced me to cave to the craving._

_The girl's heart was pounding and I could feel her pulse raging. I quickly surveyed the room. Everyone was too busy feeding to notice the girl and me. I brought my lips to her ear and I heard her breathing hitch._

"_I will not hurt you. Please stay as quiet as you can, and close your eyes," I spoke in a very soft whisper so that only she would hear me._ _ She obeyed me._

_I took one more look around the room and then lifted her in my arms and quickly left the chamber. I ran unnoticed, or so I thought to my room. Aro had noticed my departure with the girl, but said nothing to Caius about it._

_When I had her in my room, I placed her down on the reclining sofa._

"_I will not hurt you, but you must stay quiet or they will know that you are still alive," I said. She opened her eyes and looked at me._

"_What is your named?" I asked._

_She hesitated only a moment before speaking in a soft beautiful voice, "Amelia."_

"_Amelia, I am going to take you away from here. I will not harm you, but you must never speak to anyone about what you saw here tonight," I told her._

_I knew that Aro would find out about what I had done the next time he took my hand. I would have to leave as well. I was quickly packing up my belongings when there was a knock at the door. I nearly panic as I glanced between the door and Amelia._

"_Carlisle, it is Aro. May I come in?" Aro asked through the door._

_I knew I could not refuse. If I did so Aro would know that something was wrong. "Come in Aro," I replied._

_Aro entered quickly and closed the door behind him. "I told Caius that this was not a good idea, but he did not listen."_

_Aro looked between the girl and me. "Give me your hand, Carlisle."_ _Again I could not refuse._

_I sighed and extended my hand out to Aro. He crossed the room and within a moment knew of my intentions. Aro sighed and looked at the girl, "I am sorry Carlisle, but you know the rules. She must be changed or she must die."_

_I could see the terror in her eyes at Aro's words. "I will only let you leave with her, if you promise to change her. I know you won't take her life, but if you want her to live you must change her," Aro said._

_Aro still had hold of my hand, so he knew what I was thinking. I did not want her to die, but I did not know if I had the control to change her. I also would have like to have given her the choice, but I knew that was not possible._

_I acquiesced in my thoughts, but asked Aro for time to prepare myself to change her. "I will give you one year to change her. Wait here and I will return in a moment."_

_Aro returned a moment later with two items. One of them was a book. He told me to wait to read it until after I had left Volterra. He said I would know when to read it. The second item was a coin purse, filled with gold coins._

"_The way is clear for you to leave through the north passage," Aro paused, "Carlisle, you are my friend. Please don't abuse my trust. She must be changed within one year."_

"_I will not abuse your trust, my friend, and thank you."_

_I took my belongings and the items that Aro gave me. I took Amelia in my arms and left Volterra, never looking back. I told her to keep her eyes closed while I ran as fast as I could until we reached Bern Switzerland. Amelia had fallen asleep during the trek through the mountains. When she awoke in the hotel room in Bern, she was still very afraid of me. I spent several hours explaining to her what I was, my choice and reassuring her that I would not harm her._

I was shocked, and so was Edward. Carlisle had never even hinted at such a past. I could see why he might not want to discuss it, but now I had questions.

'_What happened to Amelia?'_ being the biggest one. Carlisle must have sensed our growing curiosity because he continued his story.

_We eventually moved to France. Amelia was convinced that I would never hurt her. She had seen the red eyes of the other vampires and had seen that mine had been gold. I explained to her that my eye color was a representation of my choice to feed upon animals and not humans._

_She asked about what Aro had said when he referred to me changing her. I told her that I would have to change her into a vampire. Humans could not know about the existence of vampires. She was of course afraid at first, but I promised to teach her my ways._

_Amelia and I grew fond of each other over the next few months. I thought that perhaps faith had brought us together and we maybe destined to be together. She was very beautiful and also very intelligent._

_I returned from hunting one evening to find that Amelia was ill. I had not paid attention at the time, but it seemed that many humans were getting ill in various places in Europe. I tended to Amelia the best I could, but none of the medicines I gave her seemed to ease her sickness. I grew more concerned with each passing day._

_I had spoken to other doctors and none of them seemed to know what was causing this illness. I decide that the only thing I could do was change Amelia and hope that she would heal. I knew vampires never became ill. I hoped that the change would cure her illness. Amelia agreed and I went to hunt. I told her I would be back in one hour._

_I hunted quickly taking down several deer since they were the nearest animals I could find. I wanted to hurry back. I returned to our small home and called out to Amelia. She did not respond._

Carlisle paused and his pain spiked.

'_She had died while he was hunting,' _I thought.

I moved closed to Carlisle and placed a hand on his back. I absorbed the feelings of love that Edward had for Carlisle. I used those along with my own and projected them to Carlisle. Edward had taken the opportunity to move close as well and also placed a hand on Carlisle's back.

_I buried her a week later. I had sent a letter to Aro that she had died of sickness. I included that I had gone hunting to prepare myself to change her that night. Two days after the letter was sent Eleazar and Demetri found me. They had obviously come to verify my news._

_Demetri did not speak, but Eleazar offered his condolences when I told him I thought I had fallen in love with her. Eleazar stayed for a few days with me until I buried Amelia. Demetri left the same night he arrived. A week after Eleazar left, I received a letter inviting me back to Volterra and to resume my previous duties. I replied that I need time to find myself and my purpose. I did thank Aro and told him that one day I may return._

_It took me a few years but I finally found my purpose. I had gone to medical school and learned medicine during my time with the Volturi. I vowed to use my time to try and save as many lives as I could from sickness and injury. I spent the next several decades working hard to conquer my bloodlust and work as a doctor._

_When I first met Esme in Columbus I was actually terrified by my sudden emotional draw towards her. The pull I felt was similar to how I felt about Amelia before she died, but this was much more intense. After I treated Esme I made sure that other doctors saw her for follow ups. I moved a month later. It took me several years to come to terms with my feelings._

Carlisle paused again staring into the open flames. Finally he turned to Edward, "Your mother had her hair, and you had her emerald eyes. When I knew that I could not save the two of you by human means I was determined to change you both."

Edward was shocked; this was not the way the story of how Carlisle saved him had been told to him.

"What happened?" Edward asked slowly.

"When I knew there was no way for you to survive without being changed I told your mother I was a vampire. She at first did not believe me, but she listened to my story. She told me that her husband was gone and that she would probably join him soon. Her only concern was that you live."

Carlisle paused and looked back into the fire. It took a bit of time before Carlisle turned and looked into Edward's golden eyes. "When I returned to the hospital, the following night your mother had taken a turn for the worse. She told me to save you, I don't know if she finally believed me or not. The last words from her lips were that she loved you and she called out to your father in a whisper that she was coming."

I could feel the sorrow and pain coming from both Edward and Carlisle. It was very intense, but I pushed it aside and focus on sending them both my love and the memory of their love for each other. Carlisle hesitated for a moment before pulling Edward into a hug. Edward tightened his arms around Carlisle and the two just held each other.

I did the best I could to use my gift to lessen their pain. Perhaps this night would heal the long unhealed scars that they both carried on their hearts for past hurts.


	7. Family

**Chapter 7: Family**

We were on our way to New York City to meet Carlisle and Esme. This past day had been a bit strained on the family. When Rosalie first began her crusade to make the men who attacked her pay for their crime it was only her and I who know about it. Edward had figured it out by the second attack and was not pleased that I kept this from him.

We argued about it for a good long while. Edward thought it was dangerous and that we'd be exposed. It wasn't until the fourth attacker had been killed that Edward finally relaxed about the issue. No one suspected they were being murdered; their deaths had been made to look like accidents.

A few days ago Carlisle and Esme decided that we should have a family outing to see a Broadway show. We would spend a day shopping, and then catch a show in the evening. Edward had also planned a few days for us to have some alone time.

Everything was going great until yesterday when Rosalie asked Edward and me to pick her up outside Rochester. She was going to finish off Royce, and she wanted us close by incase she needed help. We had agreed, but hadn't figured out how to tell Carlisle and Esme that we need to make a trip to Rochester.

It was Carlisle who brought it up when he noticed that Rosalie was not at home ready to leave like the rest of us.

"_Has Rosalie gone hunting?" Carlisle asked._

"_Not exactly, but Jasper and I will meet her later this evening. She'll join us in New York after that," Edward replied._

"_She's gone to kill Royce," Carlisle said in a strained tone._

_Both Edward and I instantly looked up at Carlisle. He sighed and then closed his eyes. "I was really hoping that one of you two would come forward and tell me about this sooner, rather then later," Carlisle said._

"_We did not feel it was our place to tell you," I replied._

_Edward and I had discussed this numerous times. We knew Carlisle would be upset, probably even angry that we did not come forward with this information, but this was Rosalie's actions._

_Carlisle took a deep breath and maintained his calm. It was strained, and beneath it I could feel his anger. "When one of my children does something that could potentially harm this family I want to know about it. I do not care whose responsibility it is to tell me, but one of you should have told me."_

_Carlisle was right, but there was also the issue of Rosalie asking for our trust in this matter. Edward and I had been caught between a rock and a hard place. On one hand we could have come forward and told Carlisle, but by doing so we would have betrayed Rosalie's trust. On the other hand we had betrayed Carlisle's trust by not coming forward._

"_We both know that we should have told you, but we had promised to keep this to ourselves unless the humans started to suspect something," Edward replied quietly._

_Carlisle sighed, "I figured as much. Go and meet Rosalie. Esme and I will wait for you in New York at the hotel. This discussion is not over, and we will continue it when Rosalie is present."_

_There was no room for argument in Carlisle's tone. Carlisle was the leader of our family and coven. He rarely ever acted in such a capacity, but when there was a threat to his family, or an argument that needed settle, then he would exercise that power._

Coming back to the present, I check on Rosalie's emotions. She was still quite numb, but there were a few emotions starting to peak through. Relief seemed to be the most dominate emotion rising to the surface.

"Rosalie, are you okay?" I asked.

"Huh . . . oh, I'm fine," Rosalie replied, but sounded distant.

During the first hour of our trip Rosalie slowly recounted her actions against Royce. After she had finished it seemed that a great weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. She appeared more relaxed, but her emotions were very numb.

I watched the scenery fly by for a while, and then decide to read as the light of a new day rose to our left. The light of the sun filtered through the overcast grey clouds, another perfect day for us vampires to be out. The weather would be a dreary day for humans.

The next time I paid attention we were parked near the hotel. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I was preparing myself for what I knew would be a tense atmosphere. I stepped out of the car, and wave Edward and Rosalie along. I wanted a moment to myself. Edward gave me a hesitant look.

'_I'll be fine, Edward. Go ahead, and I'll catch up in just a minute.' _I said in my thoughts. Edward gave me a small nod before join Rosalie.

I wanted until I knew Edward would be out of 'hearing' range. I said a silent prayer that this confrontation would not cause our family any lasting effects. I maybe a vampire, but that does not mean I have forsaken the next life. I just hope and pray that I will be able to make amends for my sins before my time is up. Immortal or not vampires can still die.

Edward would not have approved of my little prayer. In Edward's mind we had traded any potential of an afterlife. Carlisle and I did not agree, but my disagreement was silent. I had seen Edward and Carlisle argue over this matter enough to know that Edward's mind would not be easily changed on the subject.

I finished my prayer then quickly caught up with Edward and Rosalie as they were waiting for the lift. The ride up to our floor and the walk to the room was silent. Edward gave two quick raps on the door. Carlisle opened the door after just a moment, and ushered us into the suite.

"I assume it is finished?" Carlisle asked. His tone was calm, but there was an under current of authority. It was the tone he used when he was in 'leader mode'. Carlisle had closed the door and moved over to Esme before he spoke. He wrapped an arm around her, holding her close.

Rosalie held her head down and spoke softly. "Yes, it's finished." She paused as if trying to find the words or the courage to speak further. "I'm sorry."

Esme made to move forward to comfort Rosalie, and most likely offer her forgiveness. However, Carlisle who had an arm wrapped around her waist did not let go. He whispered something softly into her ear. It was much too soft for us to hear, but Esme's disapproving look she gave him told us she was not happy with whatever was said.

Carlisle sighed, "Rosalie, I am not upset with you for what you did to those men. To be perfectly honest I think they deserved what they got for what they did to you. What I am upset about is that the three of you decided to keep something that affected the whole family from Esme and me."

I opened my mouth to speak, but Carlisle raised his hand stopping me. "I am not looking to lay blame anywhere. I should have been more attentive to what was happening in my family, so I am equally to blame. What I want is for all of us to think long and hard about this and see that secrets from each other that affect the whole family could tear us apart. I know that none of you want that."

Carlisle paused for a moment before continuing again. He turned to Edward and me as he spoke. "I know that Rosalie told you all this in confidence and that you did not want to break her trust by coming to me. However, in the future I expect all of you to highly encourage each other to come forward when you have something that affects us all."

Carlisle hugged Esme tighter for just a moment, "I love you all and do not want to lose any of you." Esme wigged out of Carlisle's hold and walked over to Rosalie. She reached out and pulled Rosalie into a hug. "You are forgiven, my dear."

With those five little words Esme had effectively ended the discussion.

Rosalie hugged Esme tightly, "Thank you."

After a moment Esme released Rosalie and turned to Edward and me. "You two are forgiven as well, come on and give me a hug." Esme said with a huge smile. Edward and I looked over to Carlisle to be sure we were forgiven. Carlisle gave us a gentle smile, and turned his attention to Rosalie.

Edward and I hugged Esme and I watched from the corner of my eyes as Carlisle hugged Rosalie. I could see her shake gently in Carlisle's arms, and he whispered softly so that only she could hear his words. From the emotions flow from her I knew she was sobbing quietly in his arms. All the emotional numbness during the drive was gone.

Esme had decided that we need some fun to lighten the mood. Shopping seemed to be her answer. Rosalie beamed at the idea of getting a new dress. Edward and I decide we would visit a bookstore, and a music store. Carlisle chose to join Edward and me at the bookstore.

We headed to the shopping district where we left the girls at a woman's clothing store. We all knew they would be in there for a while. We then headed a block over to a bookstore. We broke off and headed to our favorite sections, Edward to music, Carlisle to Medicine and me to History.

I had only been in the history section a few minutes when Edward came over carrying a book. I gave him a smile, but noticed that his emotions were guarded. I quirked an eyebrow at him wondering what could be troubling Edward.

"I'm not troubled, more shocked," Edward said while handing me the book. I was still looking at his face, not paying attention to the book as he spoke. "I found this in the Biography section. It caught my eye as I was walking to the music section."

I looked down at the book and my breath caught. It was a thin book, most likely less then a hundred and fifty pages. It was a light blue, similar to my confederate uniform color. On the cover of the book was a single star and below that were the flags of the Confederacy and the State of Texas. The staffs of the flags were crossed over each other, but all that was not what caused my breath to catch. Above the images was written: _"The biography of Major Jasper Monroe Whitlock IV of the Texas 48__th__ Regiment Cavalry"._

I looked up at Edward completely stunned. "I thought that might interest you," Edward said with his crooked little smile. I nodded; afraid to speak for fear my voice would betray the overwhelming emotions I was feeling.

"Read the dedication," Edward said.

I opened the book to the dedication page:

_Dedicated to my ever caring and loving older brother, Jasper. I miss you dearly my brother. The candle is still burning in the window waiting for you to come home. May the Lord watch over you. ~Michaela Rose Whitlock Branson_

I stared at the page for several long minutes. I finally had the name of one of my sisters. Potentially this book would have the names of my parents and my other siblings. If there was ever a moment in my existence as a vampire that I wanted to be able to shed tears, this would be that moment.

I looked up at Edward and choked out, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Edward smiled.

Without a second thought I went to the counter and purchased the book. Edward left me to have some privacy, and headed for the music section. The bookstore had a small area where patrons were able to sit and read.

I sat in one of the comfortable overstuffed chairs. I opened the book to the back to see if there was more information on the author. There were a couple of short paragraphs about Michaela.

_Michaela Rose Whitlock Branson is the sister of Major Jasper Monroe Whitlock. IV. Michaela is the second oldest child of Jasper_ _Monroe Whitlock III and Mary Ann Whitlock. In 1864 Michaela married Samuel Branson, a successful lawyer from St. Louis Missouri_._ Michaela is an accomplished writer on the American Civil War. Her books have focused on the Texas regiments and on her beloved brother Jasper._

_Michaela is the proud mother of two children: Jasper Samuel Branson, named in honor of her brother Jasper, and Mary Ann Branson. She currently resides in St. Louis where she continues to write about the American Civil War with hopes of one day discovering what happened to her brother. She has continued to leave a lit candle burning for him to find his way home. An act started by her mother shortly after Jasper's sudden disappearance on the eve of battle in 1863._

I knew from the photo I had that Michaela had to have been around fourteen or fifteen when the photo was taken. This meant that Michaela was in her late eighties and likely to have already passed away.

Part of me desperately wanted to find out if Michaela was alive, and visit her. I knew that visiting her was dangerous and a stupid thing to do, but I couldn't help wanting to reconnect with my human past. I push the thought away, but it was still there in the back of my mind.

I turned my attention back to the book and began to read the first chapter. It was not long before I became so consumed with the book that I was barely paying attention to the outside world. It was not until Carlisle stood before me that I was aware of the passage of time. "You seem quite distracted by that book."

"Yes, sorry it's just . . ." I began, but Carlisle interrupted me. "Edward told me about the book. What have you learned?" Carlisle asked. He was genuinely curious.

"The names of my siblings and my parents for starters," I said just loud enough for Carlisle to hear. "Michaela was the oldest of the girls, and I was the oldest of the boys. I have a younger brother named Nicholas and a baby sister named Rachel."

Carlisle took the empty seat beside me and listened intently as I continued on what I had learned. "My father was very proud of me, and my service in the Army. My mother was also proud by very worried. They never gave up hope that I would one day return to them." I felt both happiness and sadness at the thought of my family holding out hope for my return.

"My mother kept a candle burning for me until her death in 1875 of an illness. My sister Michaela took over keeping the candle burning for me." If she was still alive that candle was still lit and waiting for me to come home.

"The army declared me missing in action. It was assumed I had been capture by the Union Army. After the war I was declared dead, but my family did not believe it. My sword and gun were found along with my horse a mile from Houston. Those items along with my personal effects were sent home to my parents."

Maybe Michaela had those items now; perhaps I could ask when I see her.

'_Jasper, she can't ever know you are alive.'_ I reprimanded myself in my thoughts.

Carlisle looked at me for a moment before speaking, "You want to know if she is still alive."

I sighed, and nodded slowly. "It doesn't matter what I want. I can't put her life at risk, if she is still alive. It would be best for her to think I died, then to know what really happened to me," I said barely loud enough for even me to hear.

"She doesn't believe you died," Carlisle said.

"No, she does not, from what I've read she believes that I survived," I replied.

Carlisle was silent for a moment. "All things happen for a reason, Jasper. Perhaps you are being offered an opportunity here. You shouldn't waste it."

I looked down at the book in my hands. Was I really being offered a chance to reconnect with my human past? If I was then what do I do next?

"You go meet her." I looked up to see Edward standing before me. "Esme and Rosalie should be finished shopping. We should go meet up with them so that we can get to the show on time."

Carlisle stood from his seat. He did not speak, but his emotions seemed to agree that Edward was correct with his assessment. I waited another moment before also rising from my seat to follow after them. My mind had switched my body to autopilot as it worked out all the possible scenarios of meeting Michaela that is if she was still alive.

I was too distracted to enjoy the rest of the evening. My mind recorded that I had gotten dressed for the show and that I had attended it with the family, but to be honest. I hardly paid attention. I was sure if it were not for my vampire memory I would not have known what the show as about.

When we returned to our hotel room, I spent the night in Edward's arms debating in my mind what I should do. Edward did not speak. He held me and placed soft kisses on my neck and right cheek throughout the night.

By morning I was still undecided on what I should do. Part of me was so desperate to find my sister, but part of me was scared that I would ruin her life by coming back into it now. I had not changed in the last seventy years. I still looked like a nineteen-year-old man. What would she think if I showed up on her doorstep?

"Let's at least see if she is still alive. When we know for certain then we can decide what to do. I'm here for you, Jazz," Edward whispered into my ear.

I nodded, and Edward kissed my cheek. "Get packed. I'll go tell Carlisle we are leaving for St. Louis," Edward said.


	8. Michaela

**Chapter 8: Michaela**

We stood outside of her house on a quiet street. _'This is a bad idea, lets leave Edward.'_

"No," Edward said while shaking his head.

I had being driving Edward crazy for the last two days trying to decide if I should meet Michaela. We had found out that she was indeed alive, and very active in the community. Michaela was eighty-seven-years-old, and she was in excellent health from what we had learned.

Edward had finally had enough of my constant back and forth on meeting Michaela. I don't know if vampires can go crazy, but after two days of having to listen to my internal debate Edward could take no more. He called up Michaela and arranged a meeting through her granddaughter, Ann.

Edward had learned that Michaela and her granddaughter were looking for donations to turn my old family home into a museum. Edward stated that he was head of the Edward and Elizabeth Masen Foundation, and was interested in making a donation for the museum. He had one condition. He wanted to meet Michaela.

I had been really annoyed with Edward when I found out he planned to cover the entire cost of the project. He had silenced my protest by kissing me. He doesn't play fair!

Edward explained that he wanted to convince Michaela to turn it into a museum about the whole family, not just me. I had not known that was his intent until he explained everything to me. I liked his idea, but did not know if Michaela would agree.

I had intended to stay behind while Edward met with Michaela, but he wouldn't let me. He said that this would be my only chance and I need to take advantage of what was being presented to me.

I knew it was foolish not to take advantage of this opportunity, but I was scared. '_Yes, I Major Jasper Whitlock was scared.'_ Terrified, if I were being truly honest, of what could happen.

I stood behind Edward as he knocked on the door. We could easily hear movement from inside the house as someone came to answer the door. I kept chanting in my head _'Please don't let it be Michaela.'_

The door was answered by a young woman in her mid-thirties. She had blond hair similar to mine, but it was wavy instead of curly. She had piercing blue eyes, and for a moment I wonder if that was how my human eyes had looked. She had a fair complexion and smooth calm facial features.

"May I help you?" She asked Edward.

"I am Edward Masen, and this is Mr. Cullen. We are here to meet with Ms. Branson," Edward replied.

She smiled, "You are right on time Mr. Masen. Please come in. I'm Ann, Ms. Branson's granddaughter."

Edward entered with me following after him. Ann looked us both over and lingered on my face for a moment, before turning to Edward. Her emotions were curious, but nothing screamed that she knew I was not Mr. Cullen, but rather Major Whitlock.

"Pardon me. I do not mean to sound rude, but you are both much younger then I expected," Ann said.

Edward smiled, "Thank you. I just look young for my age."

I wanted to roll my eyes. _'Yeah right, young for your age, my ass.'_

As Ann led us further into the house, Edward shot me a glare. _'Oops. Looks like I'm in trouble.'_

Ann stopped outside the doors to the parlor. "Ms. Branson is expecting you. It was a pleasure meeting both of you gentlemen, but if you will excuse me I need to be on my way to our church where I volunteer twice a week," Ann said.

"You won't be joining us?" I asked surprised. Edward had said nothing about Ann not being in on the meeting.

"No. I'm sorry. We are short volunteers this week and I offered to help out a bit more," Ann replied.

"It was a pleasure meeting you Ms. Ann," I replied. Edward nodded his agreement, and Ann excused herself after telling us to just head into the parlor.

Edward knocked on the parlor door, and Michaela called for us to enter. I took a deep breath and prepared myself. Edward entered the room and I trailed in behind him, keep my face turned away from Michaela.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Michaela gesture toward the sofa directly in front of her chair. Edward took a seat, and I hesitated for just a moment before sitting beside him with my head looking down.

I was totally scared and praying I wasn't projecting my emotions out. Edward didn't say anything so I assumed I was in control. I slowly raised my eye to meet Michaela's piercing blue eyes staring at me. They expressed calm and care as they looked into my gold eyes. Immediately to Michaela's right was a white candle lit and sitting on the windowsill.

She was still waiting for me to come home. At that moment I felt so overwhelmed and was nearly overcome by a need to reach out to Michaela and pull her into a tight hug, and tell her I was home.

Edward made to speak, but Michaela raised a hand indicating he should wait a moment to speak. Michaela turned her head slightly toward the door as if listening for something. It was a moment later before I clearly heard the front door open and close. As soon as it closed Michaela turned her eyes back to me.

Michaela's eyes searched deep into my eyes, and at that moment I wanted to bolt for the door. I feared she would figure out who I was and that I would destroy her quiet life by being here. I felt Edward's hand on my thigh holding me in place. I turned my head to look at him.

"I don't know how, but she knew who you were the minute you walked into the room. Denying it will do no good, and don't freak out," Edward said in a quick whisper.

I turned by head back toward Michaela, but I looked down at my hands. "How did you know?" I asked quietly.

I heard Michaela sigh and I looked up at her. She was opening a book that sat in her lap. As I looked closer, I noticed that it was a bible. It opened to Psalm 23 which had a bookmark of some kind between the pages. She pulled it out and turned it toward me. It was a photograph of me in my Major's uniform. I looked up into her eyes and saw no fear, nor was there fear in her emotions.

"I am sorry. I should not have come here," I said softly.

Michaela frowned and for the first time since we sat down she spoke. "God finally answered my prayer that I have been saying every day for the last seventy years. I asked . . . I begged God that if you were alive to show you the way home."

My eyes stung as the venom pooled in them, but they would shed no tears. I watched as tears began to flow freely from Michaela's beautiful eyes. Edward's hand released me and before I knew it I was kneeling before Michaela and pulled her into a hug. The dam bursted and she sobbed freely as she wrapped her arms around me. She never pulled away, even thought I knew she could feel my frozen stone body.

It was only a few moments, but it felt like an eternity as we hugged. While most of my human memories had all but faded away, I still felt drawn to Michaela. She was my sister, and even though I could not remember much about her my love for her had not changed.

I pulled back from Michaela when she released me from our hug. I gently wiped the tears from her eyes. I felt Edward's hand on my shoulder and I looked up at him. He handed me a handkerchief which I gave to Michaela. Edward returned to the sofa, but I stayed kneeling before my sister.

"The beautiful deep blue eyes I remember are gone. You are as cold as ice, and your body is as hard as stone. What happened to you, Jasper?" Michaela asked.

I looked away for fear that I would see rejection in her eyes. I couldn't bare the thought of losing my sister after just finding her. "If I told you, you would hate me," I said softly.

"Jasper, please look at me," Michaela asked softly.

'_God, please don't let her hate me.'_ I thought.

I didn't care if Edward heard me praying. I need all the support I could get right now. I felt Edward send me a burst of confidence, and his undying love for me. I used that extra resolve to turn my head and face my sister.

Her eyes held nothing by tenderness, love and compassion. "I could never hate you, Jasper. You are my brother. I love you and always will," Michaela said fervently.

I hesitantly reached up and unbuttoned the top button of my shirt. I pulled the collar aside and turned my head and neck so that Michaela could see the scar on the right side of my neck. I could see from the corner of my eye that her face was puzzled. I was not sure if Michaela would even be able to see the scar. I reached for it with a finger and ran it over the scar.

Michaela stared intently at the spot for a moment then reached out with her left hand, and ran her fingers over the scar. I heard her gasp, but she did not pull her hand away. I expected to feel her fear, but instead I felt a burst of sadness from her. Michaela pulled her hand away slowly and I re-fastened the button. Her eyes were filled with sadness and pain, but that changed as soon as she looked over to Edward.

There was a sudden burst of anger that rolled off of her.

"He's not the one that did this to me. He wasn't even alive when this happened to me," I said.

Her anger abated, but she continued to stare daggers at Edward.

"Michaela," I said trying to draw her attention. She reluctantly looked away from Edward and turned her attention back to me.

"We have Edward to thank for not only bring me here today, but also saving my life." I said softly.

Michaela looked at me with the same sad eyes again, but did not speak. I decided I need to make her understand what Edward had done for not only me, but for us.

"I met Edward about three years ago while I was in Chicago. I was at a point where I did not want to keep on living the life I had at the time. The year I spent wander was only slightly better in some aspects then my life previously had been," I stood and went to sit back on the sofa with Edward.

"I was suffering and so was Edward. We were complete strangers when we met, but in less then a day I had grown to trust Edward completely. He taught me that there was a better life out there for me, and that I could live that life without feeling depressed or hurting anyone. For the first time in more than sixty years I felt hope. I reached out and grabbed it with both hands and refused to let go of it," I continued.

Michaela sighed, and turned to Edward. "I apologize for jumping to conclusions. Thank you for helping my brother."

"There is no need to apologize ma'am," Edward replied.

"Edward had a different upbringing then I did, but he suffered from a case of rebellious teen years; you could say. I convinced him to go back to his family, but he would only agree if I went with him," I said.

"Family?" Michaela asked.

"We refer to ourselves as a family, and we treat each other as such," Edward paused for a moment. "We are different from others of our kind. None of us want to be monsters, but it is not easy. We try not to harm humans, and instead feed on animals."

"Edward's family took me in without hesitation. I learned much from Carlisle, who is like a father to us. He is a doctor and helps save lives every day. Edward has also become a doctor, but has set limits for himself so that he doesn't harm anyone. Carlisle is able to work as a doctor without any trouble. He's had a couple of centuries to perfect his control," I added.

"Esme is our mother and she is always looking out for us. She has so much love to give that if she could she would adopt every child out there to give them a good home," Edward chuckled.

"That's not what I expected to hear at all," Michaela said astonished.

"Like Edward said, we are different from others of our kind. Most don't treat humans the way we do." I hung my head. "I use to be like those others before I met Edward. I have the death of so many people on my hands. I don't know if I'll ever be able to make amends for what I did," I confessed.

"Jasper, we have been over this numerous times. You did not know that there was a different way of life out there. She lied to you and made you do things you would never have done otherwise. Please stop blaming yourself for what happened in the past," Edward said.

Michaela looked between Edward and me for a moment. "Jasper, Edward is right. You need to let go of the past and forgive yourself if you expect to get forgiveness."

"I wish it were that simple. You do not know what I did for more than sixty years. The things I've seen the things I've felt; it's not something that I can easily let go, but I am trying," I said softly.

I took a deep breath to compose myself and launched back into my story. "It was only a few days ago. We were out at a bookstore, and Edward came over to me with a book he had found."

I pulled the book out of the pocket of my coat, and showed it to Michaela. "One of the saddest things of this life is that my human memories have all but faded."

I looked away ashamed, "I've forgotten nearly all my human memories. I couldn't remember anyone's name. I've tried desperately in the last few years to hold on to those few memories I have left. Your book has given me a second chance. I've learned more about myself from your book then I could ever have dreamed to remember."

"I am happy that you found my book, and that you came to find me. I am an old woman, and my memory is fading too but I will help you as best I can. I also have all of your journals stored away that I will give you," Michaela replied.

"You've already given me more then I could have ever hoped possible. I don't know how I would repay you," I said.

"You came home and showed me you were still alive, just as I believed for the last seventy years. I have a feeling that you have placed yourself at great risk by doing so," Michaela said.

"Unfortunately, I fear I have placed you at greater risk by coming here, but I so desperately wanted to see you. I needed to know about my human life. I'm sorry," I replied.

"No one will ever know that you came back into my life, Jasper. There is no one left for me to share this joy with any more," Michaela said.

"You can't tell anyone Michaela. No one is supposed to know that my kind exists. They would kill you if they knew that you were aware of us," I said urgently.

"I am not afraid of death, Jasper. I have lived a full life and I can die with peace knowing that you survived after all these years," Michaela said.

"They would not stop with your death Michaela. They would go after those you love too. I knew I should never have come here," I said with worry. What had I done? I knew better then to come here.

"Jasper, calm down, She won't tell anyone," Edward said with conviction. For a brief moment I wanted to believe him.

'_We need to leave Edward. I've done enough damage.'_ I thought.

Edward shook his head, and held me in my place. "Jasper, you need to let Michaela finish what she was about to tell you."

What had he heard in her thoughts that made him so sure she would not run off to tell my siblings and their children I was alive? I turned to Michaela and was about to ask when she started speaking again.

"Jasper, I know you've read the book. There are things in that book that I left out. When you disappeared it took a toll on the family," Michaela paused and I saw her wipe tears from her eyes with the handkerchief I had given her.

"Not one day went by where mama did not cry and pray for your safe return. She never gave up hope for you, Jasper. She said she always knew you would return, but she didn't know when until she was lying on her death bed. The night she died I was alone with her. Papa was so stricken with grief that he couldn't stay in the room with her without crying his eyes out."

The tears were flowing freely from her deep blue eyes. I wanted to reach out and touch her and comfort her, but Edward held me fast. He shook his head and indicated that I should let her speak.

"Mama said that she saw an angel. The angel told her that you would return one day to me. Mama said that the angel told her you would be different, but that you would still be my loving and protective brother," Michaela released a small laugh. "She was right, and you have changed. I never expected this change, but you are still my loving and over protective brother."

She was right about my being over protective. I guess it made since that I was over protective as a human. Our biggest traits tend to be amplified during the change. Edward snickered beside me and I threw him an angry glare.

"He's just as over protective now as he was back then; I'm sure," Edward said with a smirk.

I turned to see Michaela smiling at us. "Our biggest traits tend to be amplified when we change and come into this new life. Jasper's empathy and his protective nature are very strong in this life. I can only image how strong they would have been as a human," Edward added.

"Jasper was always looking out for us when we were children. I remember before he left for the Army that he told me that I could not get married until he approved of my intended," Michaela smiled.

I smiled, "Would I have approved of Samuel?"

"Oh yes. I am sure you would have. Samuel was a very kind man and a good father to our children. He was a successful Lawyer and well respected. He taught our children that we should always help those less fortunate then ourselves. He always made sure that we had time for each other. He treated me as his equal and encouraged me to fulfill my life long passionate to write," Michaela paused and her emotions took on a sad tone.

"Samuel died a few days before Mary turned sixteen. He was in a train wreck on his way to Chicago for business. I was forty-years-old when I lost my husband. Samuel was a smart man and well prepared in the event something like this should happen to us. I have not had to work to support my family. Samuel saw to it that I could follow my passion of writing if I so chose," Michaela stopped and stared at a photo on the end table beside me.

The photo was of Michaela, when she was younger, and a young man. The man looked to be about twenty-years of age, with short dark colored hair and strong features. He held Michaela in a loving embrace. From the clothes they were wearing I assumed it was a wedding photo.

"This is Samuel?" I asked.

"Yes, that is him," Michaela said with a sad smile. I could feel her longing for him and the love she still held tightly in her heart for this man.

"He made you happy?" I meant it more as statement, but ended in a question.

"He made me the happiest woman alive," Michaela said, her smile broadened with the declaration.

"I think . . . I think I would have approved," I said with my own broad smile. He made her happy and that is what mattered most.

Michaela turned her attention back to me. "Rachel died about fifteen years ago. She was living in Boston during the illness that was rampant during the war. Both she and her husband became very ill and died of it. They had no children."

I felt Edward stiffen beside me as he heard Michaela speak of the same illness that had taken his parents. I instinctively placed a hand on Edward's back and began to rub small circles. I used the contact to comfort him and send him my love. The feelings of his loss were still quite raw, even after all these years.

I was aware of Michaela's attention turning to Edward as she saw his sad expression. I knew he tried to hide it, but it was still evident in his eyes. "I lost my parents to that illness," Edward said.

Michaela's expression softened as she began to realize that Edward maybe almost as young as he appeared to be. "I was also very sick with the disease and I would have died as well had it not been for the doctor who took care of my mother and me. He saved me because she begged him to do everything in his power to prevent my death," Edward added softly.

"Nicholas is still alive, but is in ill health. His wife died giving birth to his only child, a boy he named Nicholas Jackson Whitlock II. I spoke to his son recently and Nicholas doesn't have much longer for this life," Michaela paused for a moment.

"Nicholas took your disappearance almost as hard as mama. He looked up to you so much Jasper. He constantly talked about joining the army like you had when he was old enough. He wanted to be a Major like his older brother," Michaela smiled.

I thought of the picture I had of the family. Nicholas was probably no older then nine or ten when I was promoted to Major. "Did he join the army?" I asked.

Michaela shook her head, "Oh, no. Mama wouldn't let him. I think she was afraid that if he joined the army she would lose him too. Please don't misunderstand what I'm saying, Jasper. She never gave up hope that you would return, but she also didn't want to risk losing Nicholas."

"I understand, and I'm glad she did not let him join the army. War is not a glamorous or pleasant experience," I said.

I knew that Edward had wanted to go to war before he had become ill. From what I had learned they were portraying the war as a glamorous and heroic experience. War is anything but glamorous. War is a horrible and distasteful experience. It is awful to think about what people, humans and vampires are capable of doing to each other. I had enough of war to last many lifetimes.

"Mama borrowed money from Samuel and me to send Nicholas to university instead. He became a history teacher and instead of fighting wars, taught about them in school," Michaela said.

I was grinning happily as she said that. "I recently completed a degree in History."

Michaela smiled at me broadly as I said that. "Nicholas would be so pleased to hear that, Jasper. You might consider going to visit him in Houston."

When she said Houston I started to panic, and think about Maria. If she knew I was still alive and looking for me or if she found out I had family in Houston she'd take out her revenge on them.

"Jasper?" Michaela said also panicked.

"Jasper, you're projecting," Edward said quickly as he reached over to comfort me.

'_Oh, no.'_ I thought.

I took a deep breath, _'Calm down Jasper and get control of yourself.'_ I admonished. I closed my eyes and concentrated on being calm and project that into the room.

"Michaela, going to Houston would not be good for Jasper. He has many horrible memories from the time he was changed until he found me in Chicago. Also, Jasper did not leave there with permission from his creator. She has a vengeful nature and is likely looking for Jasper. It would be safer for Jasper and Nicholas if he does not go to see him." Edward said.

I watched Michaela look from Edward to me slowly. "Jasper, I have a bit more to tell you about the family. However, I want to know what just happened and what Edward meant by you were projecting. I also want to know what happened to you Jasper. I saw the look on your face a moment ago Jasper and you were terrified. I have never before seen you look so terrified."

I frowned. I had not wanted to share my 'gift' with Michaela. The less she knew about my change the better. I also had not planned on giving her details of my time with Maria. Now I had little choice. I did not think Michaela would take no for an answer. Edward confirmed my suspicions when he shook his head slightly. I sighed, and nodded my agreement sadly.

"Nicholas no longer teaches, but his son followed in his father's footsteps and also became a teacher. Nicholas jr. teaches history at Texas A&M. He married a fellow teacher a few years after his tenure was made permanent. She has really opened him up from the quiet young man he had been," Michaela stood slowly and walked over to a nearby book case as he finished speaking.

I watched as she pulled out a photo album and brought it over to me. I moved over closer to Edward and Michaela sat down beside me. She placed the photo album in my lap and opened it up. She pointed to the first picture. It was one of her and me taken sometime after my promotion to Major.

"You were a handsome young man, and you looked quite dashing in your uniform," Michaela said with a huge smile.

Michaela pointed out each picture as we went along. Edward commented that all the members of my family had many similar features. Michaela agreed stating that some traits ran strongly in our family, especially the blonde hair and blue eyes.

I nearly panicked again when Michaela turned the page and I saw a familiar face. "This is Peter, Nicholas's grandson. He . . . He died around 1923." Michaela said sadly.

Peter wasn't dead, at least not yet. Peter had been one of the few humans I had chosen to join Maria's army. I had unknowingly condemned my own grandnephew to this life I hated. _'What had I done?'_

Michaela went to turn the page, unaware of my sudden mood change. I placed my hand quickly on the page stopping her.

"He's not dead," I said softly and looked away from Michaela.

Edward was looking at me with sad eyes. He had read the thoughts in my head. He knew what I had done, and now I had to tell my sister that because of me our brother's grandchild was a vampire fighting in a war that I had forced him into because I thought he would be a good fighter.

I had been right, Peter was a good fighter. Maria had kept him because he was an excellent strategist and seemed to have a subtle gift for knowing when something bad was about to happen. I have to get Peter away from Maria before she learned of his true identity. Regardless of how much of an asset he was to her army she would kill him to get back at me.

I closed my eyes, "He's not dead Michaela. I... I didn't know. I swear I didn't know or I would never have chosen him. Oh God, what have I done?"

"Jasper?" Michaela said in a shocked voice.

"Jasper, you couldn't have known. You can't blame yourself," Edward started by I interrupted him angrily.

"I changed him Edward! I picked him and I changed him because I thought he would be good for Maria's army. I condemned him to this life!" I screamed at Edward.

Edward grabbed my arms and held them to my sides. In that moment I lost it and started sobbing. I had destroyed my own family in so many ways that I had no right to be here. I selfishly wanted to find out about my human past, and now that I had I wished that I had instead died that night instead of being changed.

Edward wrapped his arms around him and let me sob into his chest. "I can't leave him there, Edward. I've got to go back for him. She'll kill him if she finds out the truth."

I could feel Michaela's sadness and hurt by my revelation. I had expected that and worse. What I had not expected was to feel her hand on my back as she offered comfort to me. "You cannot change the past, Jasper. You can only try and make amends by your future actions," Michaela said softly. I could hear her speaking through her tears.

I slowly pulled away from Edward and turned toward Michaela with my head hung low. "I am sorry. I've made a royal mess of things," I said softly.

"Stop blaming yourself Jasper. You could not have known that he was your grandnephew. Just promise me that you will go back for him. I don't know what he's involved in, but I gather it's not something good," Michaela said.

"I promise," I said with conviction.

"May I use your phone to call Carlisle? We will need his help to get Peter away from Maria," Edward said.

'_No Edward! I'm doing this on my own.'_

"No, you are not Jasper and that is final," Edward said sternly.

Michaela looked as us again, not having heard my thoughts. "Jasper was thinking he would do this on his own. There is no way I am letting him go there alone, and neither would Carlisle," Edward said.

"The phone is in my study across the hall," Michaela said.

I was about to protest again, but my sister told me to shut up. I just looked at her stunned. I sighed. I was not going to win with both of them ganging up on me. I also knew with Carlisle finding out that there was no way he would let me go on my own.

"Fine," I said in defeat.

I ran both hands through my hair and sighed again in frustration. My vampire mind was feeling overwhelmed by the information overload and the constant emotional changes that had been occurring in the short time I'd been here.

Neither Michaela nor I spoke the entire time that Edward was in the study using the phone. I thought back to Peter. He never did like the fighting, but he was damn good at it. Peter had become my best friend over the few short years I'd known him. I should have gone back for him way before now. My own fear of facing Maria had kept me away, but now I had to go back for him. I could not leave him there, especially not now. He was my responsibility.

Edward returned drawing me out of my thoughts. "Carlisle, Esme and Rosalie will be here late tonight. Esme will stay here with Michaela while the rest of us go south to find Peter," Edward said.

"Peter should be at the plantation house in Houston. Unless Maria has changed his job, it was his responsibility to defend the Texas territories. Maria preferred to stay in Monterrey. If we are lucky that is where she will be and Peter will be in Houston," I said.

I turned to Michaela. "Can we keep this picture out so the others can see it?" Michaela nodded, and removed the picture from the album.

"I do have one other concern about going to Houston. If any of Maria's trackers are there, then that could be a problem. If they pick up my trail, they will follow us back here. That can't happen," I said as I looked at Michaela.

Edward knew that if the trackers followed us they would kill Michaela and Ann. If there were any trackers I would kill them before I gave them the chance to track me or hurt my family any more then I had already done.

I then turned to Edward and called up all the memories I had of the plantation house. Everything from where it was located to how the guard rotation was setup. I then called up memories of the inside of the plantation house and where Peter's room had been located.

"Michaela, I am worried that with the rest of our family coming here that Ann may become suspicious of us. It would be best to limit her exposure to us to protect her," Edward said.

Michaela frowned, but she seemed to agree emotionally with Edward's assessment. "That could be a problem. Ann's parents passed away several years ago. I am all the family she has left, and she does not like to leave me alone. I also think she would grow more suspicious if I were to ask her to go off for a few days."

I suddenly realized how fragile human life really was, and how much pain my sister had been through since I had left. She had not only been there for the passing of our parents and a sister, but also her own child and a grandnephew. Well the grandnephew was alive, but she had not known that till a short time ago.

"Ok, in that case it would be best for Carlisle and Rosalie to stay at the hotel. We can pass Esme off as my sister and say she is here as part of my parent's foundation," Edward replied.

"Thank you, but I just feel better with her close by; especially right now with all that I have heard today," Michaela replied.

I honestly could not blame Michaela for wanting to keep Ann close by. I'm sure it has been a huge shock to her system to learn everything she has today.

"Did Carlisle tell you what time to expect them?" I asked Edward.

"Likely just before dawn. They were leaving immediately but it will take them time to get here even with how fast we can run," Edward said.

"I need to feed soon." I said quietly, but obviously not quietly enough.

"I can make you dinner," Michaela offered.

"I can't eat human food, Michaela," I said looking at her.

"Oh, of course, how silly of me," Michaela said quickly.

"Yes, Michaela; we need blood, but not from humans. Jasper and I will find some wildlife in the area to take care of our needs," Edward said. He was obviously answering Michaela's thoughts.

She looked at him for a moment and then surprised me, "I thought you might be able to do that." I was confused by their conversation. What was she talking about?

"Michaela figured out my gift," Edward said to answer my thoughts.

'_Oh.'_ I thought.

This was not how today was supposed to go. I never intended for Michaela to learn so much about us. It was dangerous, but it was too late to change any of that now.

"Jasper, will you tell me what happened to you?" Michaela asked.

I nodded, "Yes, but do you mind if we wait till after Edward and I have hunted? Today has been more draining then I had anticipated. I'm going to need all the help I can to tell you about my past," I said softly.

"Okay. I will use the time to start making dinner for Ann and me," Michaela said.

"Thank you." I replied. I looked up at Edward.

Edward and I excused ourselves from Michaela to take care of our needs. We found plenty of wildlife outside the city on the Illinois side of the river. I over did it and feed till I felt slushy.

I was sitting down on the edge of the river upstream from the city waiting for Edward. He was finishing disposing of the remains of our 'dinner'. I had my knees pulled up to my chest. I leaned my head forward so that it was resting on the tops of my knees and I sobbed quietly.

I figured I was alone so I let go of all my emotions. Everything I had been holding back all day. That's when I heard a groan and lifted my head in time to see Edward drop to his knees clutching his head between his hands.

"Edward!" I said as I reeled in my emotions.

"Oh God! I'm so sorry. I thought I was alone," I said as I rushed to his side.

"What the hell was that?" Edward asked breathing heavily.

I didn't say anything as I helped Edward to his feet. Edward was looking at me waiting for an answer.

'_Please don't freak out on me. That was everything I had bottled up today.'_ I thought.

"You mean those were your emotions?" Edward asked incredulously.

I frowned, and nodded.

Edward pulled me into a tight hug. "I'm sorry Jasper. I had no idea that this would have taken such a huge toll on you."

"It's not your fault Edward," I replied holding onto him tightly.

I closed my eyes as I felt Edward's love radiate out from him. "Jasper, no one blames you for what happened."

I didn't see how that was possible. I had caused so much pain to my family. My mother had cried for me every day until her death. I can only image the strain that it had put on my parent's marriage.

My siblings who never gave up hope had all suffered loss numerous times over the years. Worst of all I was responsible for stealing the life of my own brother's grandchild, his only grandchild at that. There would be no more men in my family to carry on our family name.

"Damn it, Jasper! You cannot continue to go around carrying the blame for everything that goes wrong in your life or that of your family!" Edward said to me angrily.

I cringed from the anger that Edward was no radiating.

"Sorry, Jazz," Edward said as he took a deep breath to calm himself.

"I didn't mean to get angry with you. I am just so frustrated that you won't stop blaming yourself for the things that bitch did to you," Edward seethe. He was still angry, but it wasn't near the level it had just been.

"Edward it is my fault. If I hadn't been so impatient that night I wouldn't have come across Maria and . . ."

"No, Jazz. It's not your fault. You were doing what you thought was right that night. It's Maria's fault. She changed you, and made your life hell for more than sixty years," Edward paused and smiled at me. "I'm not totally angry with her for changing you. I kind of have her to thank for you being in my life, even though it pains me to think of being grateful for her after the hell she put you through."

"But, Maria didn't change Peter, I did," I argued.

"Why did you change Peter?" Edward asked.

"Maria wanted more soldiers to replace the ones we had destroyed," I answered.

Edward smirked at me, "See I told you it was Maria's fault."

I closed my eyes and rested my forehead against Edward's. "I still chose him, and changed him. I could have easily picked someone else. I'm sorry Edward, but in this case it is my fault. You can argue all you want about the other stuff not being my fault, but I am responsible for what happened to Peter."

"You can't change the past Jasper, and blaming yourself for past mistakes will only cause you more pain. Please promise me that after we get him back that you will let this go, and you will stop blaming yourself," Edward said softly.

"I'll try," I said simply.

Edward pressed his lips against mine and held me close. "I love you Jazz."

"I love you too, Edward," I replied.

Edward, Michaela and I were now sitting in her study. Ann was on the second floor in her room reading. Michaela had told her that Edward's sister Esme was coming by tomorrow to work on the Whitlock Museum project.

It was now my turn to tell Michaela about what had happened to me. Anyone who knew me knew that this was not a subject that I enjoy discussing. My past with Maria was an experience that left more then just my physical scars.

"In the south it has been constant war for many centuries. In the north life is much different. There are no wars and most of our kind treat each other with mutual respect," I said, starting my story.

"What do they fight over?" Michaela asked.

"Picture a map of the Western Hemisphere, and on that map a red dot for every human life. They fight for the large area of red," I replied.

Michaela's eyes grew wide as she realized what the war was about. "Would you prefer I stop there?" I asked.

Michaela shook her head 'no'.

I carefully watch Michaela for a reaction to what I was about to say. We had danced around the word all day, but neither she nor Edward or I had said the word yet. This would be the first time it was spoken aloud. "Someone realized once that if they were the only vampire in lets say Mexico City than they could feed multiple times a night without drawing attention to themselves."

Michaela did not even flinch as I said the word we had all avoid until now.

"A vampire by the name of Benito created an army of newborn vampires and unleashed them on his rivals. Newborns are vampires who are within their first year of this life. They are very strong physically, but they are also difficult to control," I spoke slowly and softly. I did not want Ann to accidently overhear anything that I was saying.

"It turned into complete chaos. The humans blame the deaths on an illness, but that is not what truly happened. The Volturi had to step in and put an end to the madness. For a time Mexico was void of vampires."

"Who are the Volturi?" Michaela asked.

"They enforce our laws. You could compare them to a royal family in some ways. Carlisle was once a member of their leadership ranks. He is a close friend of their leader," I said. I truly wasn't sure how Carlisle view his relationship with Aro anymore, but I was quiet certain that Aro still considered Carlisle a close friend.

"They started with Benito, and spent a year cleaning house. Any vampire found with the newborns was killed. No mercy was shown to anyone. Soon after the Volturi left, new vampires came in and started claiming territory. The seeds of using newborn armies had been planted and it was not long before they could not resist the temptation. They were more careful now and trained the newborns better. Sometimes someone would go too far and the Volturi would return, but they would let the careful ones continue. Fear of the Volturi keeps them in line," I said as I rolled up the sleeve of my shirt.

Michaela was sitting in a chair that was close by to the sofa that Edward and I were sitting on. On my end of the sofa was an end table with a lamp, it was also close to Michaela's chair. I moved closer to it and place my arm close to the light source.

I traced several of the scars that crisscrossed my arm. I watched Michaela's reaction as she examined my ravaged skin. She gasped as she realized what she was seeing. "Jasper, what . . . what happened?" she asked.

"Most of the things humans believe about vampires are myths. We don't go out in the sun not for fear of being harmed, but because the sun causes our skin to sparkle. We don't sleep in coffins. We don't sleep at all to be honest. We also don't have fangs, but our teeth will bite through anything." I watched as Michaela reacted to each of my statements.

"It's not the bite that leaves the scar. It's our venom," I said.

"You're venomous?" Michaela asked in shock.

"Yes, but it is not deadly. Our venom is what caused the change, which is very painful," I replied.

"Is it painful to be bitten after you've been changed?" Michaela asked.

"Yes, but it's not quite as painful as the change; it still hurts, regardless." I answered.

"How many times have you been bitten?"

"I have never counted, but they cover most of my body. My arms and legs are the worse, but thankfully my face is the least affected," I said pointing out the two scars on my face. "Your eyes are not able to see the scars as easily as those of my kind. I don't like to show my scars and if I had more on my face it would be difficult to hide them."

"You were chosen to be in the armies you spoke about," Michaela said.

"Yes. My sire, the vampire who changed me, had lost her territory near Monterrey and was determined to get it back. She chose me because I was an officer and she said I was compelling," I said.

"Papa always said you had charisma," Michaela smiled sadly.

"It was more then that. You asked earlier for me to tell you why Edward said I was projecting, and I know that you felt something earlier, but couldn't explain why you felt the way you did," Michaela nodded as I spoke.

"It took a few weeks or so after I was changed to fully understand the gift I had. Sometimes when we are changed a vampire may gain a gift. You guessed Edward's ability to read minds. I am an empath. I can sense the emotions of people around me, and I can influence all but the strong of emotions," I said.

"That is why you moved up so fast in the ranks," Michaela stated.

"Yes. It was passive when I was human. I had no control over it, at least not in the way I do now. I am very careful with how I use my gift. I can't stop feeling a person's emotions, but I can normally choose when to influence them. Earlier I lost focus and did not realize I was projecting my emotions onto you and Edward."

"Now I understand, and I have this feeling that this gift must have been a curse for you until recently," Michaela said.

I nodded, "Before I met Edward I had never felt happiness, joy, love, or any pleasant emotions. The emotions I was surrounded by during the early part of this life were anything but pleasant."

"I hated this life for the longest time. I grew tired of the fighting, the killing and of even living. However, I was good at this life. I am feared by almost every vampire who has met me, and those who have heard my name. I have killed more vampires then any other out there," I continued.

Edward shifted closer to me and began rubbing his hand on my back, and letting his love for me flow through his fingers into me. I gave him a small smile in gratitude. I needed his support more then ever if I was going to get through my past with Michaela.

"I told you that I can feel emotions. What I did not tell you is how I feel those emotions. I feel them as if they are my own. When I first came into this life, it was very confusing but now I am able to distinguish clearly between my own emotions and each person in the room with me. That is one reason why I was sick of the killing."

Edward squeezed my shoulder lightly encouraging me to go on.

"Edward told you earlier that we need blood to survive, and that we were going to hunt wildlife; which we did. Before meeting Edward I did not know that I could survive on animal blood. When I met him, I was very depressed. It had taken me a long time to come to understand why I was depressed."

Michaela watched me intently as I was telling my story.

"When the humans I fed upon were dying in my arms, I felt their emotions. I felt them die in my arms," I lowered my head, and closed my eyes.

I felt Michaela's hand on my face as she spoke, "You didn't know any better Jasper, but now you do."

I did not understand how she could forgive me so easily for killing so many people. "It's because she loves you, and because she thinks that if you had known about the alternative sooner you would have done the right thing," Edward said in a soft whisper so that only I could hear.

There was silence among the three of us for a while. My mind was racing with how this day had unfolded, and planning how to save Peter.

"I can't begin to fathom what kind of hell you have been through Jasper. I am sure that what I imagine is not even a small sliver of what you truly experienced. I am sorry that I made you relive that experience in your memories," Michaela said, breaking the silence.

"I don't much like to talk about it, but it did help to share some of it with you," I replied.

Michaela took my right hand and squeezed it firmly. "I love you, Jasper. No matter what has happened in the past I still love you dearly. You need to learn to forgive yourself and move on with your life. There is a reason why things happen the way they do, and I think you were chosen for this life for another reason. I don't know what that reason is, but God has a plan for you Jasper."

"I don't think he has any plans for me. I'm quite certain he is very displeased with my many sins," I replied.

"He has a plan for all of us Jasper, even for you. You may not believe it now, but why else would an angel appear to mama and tell her that you would come home to me. Not just come home Jasper, but that you would specifically come home to me," Michaela said.

I had no answer to that. I was quite certain that my mother was not crazy, and I had seen a great deal in this life to know that anything was possible. The only thing that I could not understand is why God would have a plan for me.

"Maybe you are right," I replied. I didn't believe it and I knew Michaela could tell that I didn't believe my words.

Michaela yawned, and I suggested that she head to bed. Edward and I would return to our hotel room to wait for the family to arrive. Before we left, we made plans to bring Esme by around mid morning before heading out with Carlisle and Rosalie for Texas. It was also likely to take us a couple of days to find Peter and get him back to safety.

(...) **A/N: Due to FFn's Ratings policy this section of the story can be read at TWCS. A link is available in my Author's Profile.** (...)


	9. The Search

**Chapter 9: The Search**

We were back in Appalachia after visiting with my sister, Michaela. During our visit we had learned that I had unknowingly changed my younger brother's only grandchild into a vampire about ten years ago. I felt horrible about the whole thing and promised to get him away from my creator Maria.

Carlisle and Rosalie had joined Edward and I to help rescue Peter. Unfortunately Peter was not in Texas. Peter was not anywhere in the south according to Xavier, a rival of Maria.

Xavier had told us that Peter had asked permission to cross his territory nearly a year ago. Peter had left Maria in search of me, and to get away from the war. Xavier had personally escorted Peter to the border of his territory and watched him head north.

I may have doubted Xavier had it not been for Edward's assurance that he was indeed telling the truth. I could easily tell there was no deception in Xavier's emotions, but I was too worked up about finding Peter to trust my extra sense.

The fact that I had also had a fight with Rosalie the previous day had not helped matters. She was extremely upset that I had changed my own great-nephew. What Rosalie had not known at the time was that I had no knowledge that Peter was my great-nephew when I had changed him.

Rosalie apologize when she had learned the truth. I had accepted her apologize. Edward was not so quick to accepted it. I didn't have the energy or will to fight Edward over accepting her apologize.

"Are you about ready to go?" Edward asked.

"Yes, I just need to finish packing a few of these journals to take with me to read," I replied.

Michaela had given me various items of mine that she had kept over the years. The box she gave me contained a dozen or so journals, my broken sword in a small ornate wooden box, my pistol and another small ornate box that contained a medal. The journals were the only thing that really interested me at the time.

I fastened my backpack up and pulled it onto my back. "I'm ready."

Carlisle knocked on the door. "May I come in?"

"Of course," Edward said turning to face Carlisle.

"I just wanted to wish the both of you good luck on your endeavor to find Peter. Also wanted to make sure you boys check in with us every few days. You never know if we may need to leave here suddenly, and I'd like to know how the search is going."

"We'll be sure to check in every three or four days," Edward said.

"Good. It'll put Esme's mind at ease, as well as my own. Where will you boys start your search?" Carlisle asked.

"We are planning to start in southern Maine and work our way westward. We assume he'll head toward major cities to feed," I said.

"If there is anything I can do, please be sure to let me know. Good luck!" Carlisle said.

Rosalie, Esme and Carlisle all gave us a quick farewell.

Edward and I took the train to Portland Maine. We had decided that most of our journey would be on foot so that we could traverse the country more quickly then by automobile.

I had been here once before during the year I had been on my own. I hadn't feed here, but instead explored the area. Today had unfortunately been a sunny day in Portland. Thankfully the sun was setting when we arrived. We hung around in the shade away from the sun's light until it had finally set. It felt horrible to be trapped by the sun's light. It also made me feel uncomfortable as we waited for it to set. One wrong move or one reflection toward us and we could be exposed, but thankfully that had not happened.

There was no sign of Peter's scent at the train station, nor in the downtown area. We check the shipping docks and the entertainment areas without any trace of his scent.

"I don't think he has been here love," Edward said.

"There was always a very slim chance he'd be here. Let's head south toward Boston, and we may have more luck finding a trace of him there," I suggested.

"Tell me about Peter," Edward said as we were leaving the Portland area.

"What did you want to know?" I asked.

"Well, what was he like? How did you two get along? I'm just trying to figure him out," Edward replied.

"Peter was different then most of the newborns I had trained during my time with Maria," I started.

"How was he different?" Edward asked.

"It's a little difficult to explain, but I'll try. You know how newborns are difficult to control. You've seen it with Esme and Rosalie, and Rosalie was tame by my standards. I'm not sure how Esme was, but I have a feeling she was not too difficult," I said.

"No Esme was much less difficult then I had been. I gave Carlisle a terrible time during my newborn phase," Edward frowned.

"I'm sure I've seen much worse. Peter was tame, no where near as tame as Rosalie had been, but he was not like the others. He was not so quick to pick fights. I learned later that he really didn't like fighting. He actually hated it, but he was good at it," I said sadly.

"Like you were good at the fighting, but didn't like it?" Edward asked.

I thought about that for a moment. Peter did seem to be like me in that way. We were two of the best fighters in Maria's army. Peter had eventually taken my job of training the newborns.

"I'll take that to mean yes," Edward said as he listened to my thoughts.

"Peter became my best friend very quickly after his change. If he knew who I was he never said, and to be honest I'm relieved by that."

"Why? Wouldn't you have wanted to know the truth?"

"It's more complicated then simply knowing the truth. Yes I would have liked to have known what I had done, but I'm relieved I didn't find out till now. I don't think I could have handled it back then. There is also Maria to think about. If Peter had told me the truth, then there would have been a chance of Maria finding out. Maria would have punished Peter for my leaving."

"The more you tell me about Maria the less I like her."

"Don't worry about Maria. She won't be troubling us."

"Tell me more about Peter," Edward suggested.

"We looked out for each other. I felt bad for not going back for him. I only feel worse now finding out he is family. It's kind of ironic considering we use to refer to each other as brothers. I wish I had gone back for him sooner, but the opportunity never presented itself." I said.

"All you had to do was say you wanted to go get him and we could have gone," Edward said.

"That's the thing, Edward," I started.

"What is?" Edward asked quickly.

"Please don't take this the wrong way, but I wouldn't have wanted you to come with me. I don't want you anywhere near Maria. Maria is a sadistic monster. There were so many things I keep thinking she would do if she caught us," I added.

"She wouldn't have caught us," Edward said tapping the side of his head.

"That's another reason I didn't want you anywhere near her. Your gift is too desirable. Maria would have forced you into her service or worse. I know covens that would fight to have someone of your ability in their ranks," I said.

"I'm no one's pawn," Edward said in a hard tone.

"I know that Edward, but you have to remember where I came from. I've told you some of that history. Those coven leaders view human and newborn vampires as pawns in their war. No offense Edward, but you aren't a fighter. You have no training and the thought of you getting hurt…" I couldn't bring myself to think or say what it would feel like if Edward got hurt.

"Teach me," Edward said.

"What?"

"Teach me to fighting. Maria may come looking for you one day, or we may need to defend our family."

"No absolutely not," I replied quickly. "I'm not going to teach you to fight. You have now idea how difficult it would be for me to watch you fight."

"Jazz, you know I won't stand around if someone threatens you or our family. I have a better chance of success if you teach me. In addition I have the added advantage of knowing what my opponent is thinking," Edward said.

'_I hate when he's right,'_ I thought. I saw Edward smirk as he read my thoughts.

I sighed. "Okay. I'll teach you, but on one condition."

"What's the condition?" Edward asked wearily.

"You don't fight unless it's absolutely necessary. I don't want you getting hurt, Edward. It would kill me if something happened to you. You're also right. You are less likely to get hurt if I teach you, but it doesn't mean I want you fighting if we have other alternatives," I replied.

"I can agree to that. It's not like I want to go out there and pick fights with people. I just want to be able to protect those that I love, which includes you," Edward said.

"I know, but look at it from my perspective. Out of the original twenty-three newborns that Maria changed that first year I was the only one to survive. I can't lose you, Edward. You are my whole world. You are my reason for existing," I said.

"You are my whole world too, Jazz," Edward said with his favorite crooked little smile.

I was just about to start sharing some of my memories of training with Peter when this god awful sound echoed through the forest. "What was that?" I asked.

"That was a moose." Edward replied.

"A what?"

"A moose, it's a member of the deer family, only its bigger then your average deer," Edward answered.

"Oh, I assume they taste just as bad?" I asked.

"Yes, and not worth the extra effort it takes to bring one down. They are more likely to fight back then the deer we normally hunt."

"Why haven't I seen them before?" I asked.

"They are more plentiful in Canada and the New England states. New York has some, but we rarely hunted in the areas they tend to populate," Edward answered.

We arrived in Boston in the early nighttime hours shortly after the street lamps had been lit. I immediately caught the fresh scent of three vampires. The first two scents were a couple of hours old. The third was much fresh no more then an hour old.

"Do you recognize any of those scents?" I asked Edward.

"The fresher scent is Garrett. He's a nomad who normally travels alone. He is quite the adventurer, and will try anything once," Edward laughed.

Hearing about Garrett made me feel more at ease. At least we might have one friend here.

"Garrett is definitely a friend. I traveled with him for a few months during my time away from Carlisle. He's a patriot through and through. He also doesn't much care for tyrants," Edward replied casually.

I suddenly felt jealous. It was one emotion until now that I had not felt of my own accord. I had felt the jealous emotions of other people, Edward being one of them. This had occurred when Rosalie was intrigued by me shortly after her transformation. My emotions were most likely misplaced, but I couldn't help feeling them.

"Relax Jazz. You have nothing to worry about from Garrett. He is only a friend, and he prefers women," Edward replied with a genuine smile.

I sighed; yes my jealousy was apparent and misplaced. I would try to keep it under wraps.

"Come let us see if we can track down Garrett. He may have come across Peter in his travels," Edward suggested.

I readily agreed and we followed Garrett scent. I was still weary as we followed the scent, because the scent of the other two vampires followed the same track. I was relieved when they divided. Garrett's scent appeared to be heading toward the shipping docks and rail yard, while the other two vampire scents headed toward the city center.

We caught up with Garrett a few minutes later. He appeared to be waiting for us as he sat atop a pile of crates on the dock. He smiled broadly as he looked upon Edward, and leapt off the crates. This caused my jealousy to spike, and I'm certain my expression changed to one of possessiveness. I instinctively moved closer to Edward so there was very little space between us.

I felt Edward's annoyance, but then his assurance. I knew that meant I had nothing to worry about, but I couldn't help what I was feeling.

'_I know I'm being totally irrational,'_ I thought.

Garrett's gazed turned to me when I moved closer to Edward. The smile upon his lips faltered and I felt his weariness peak as he took in my appearance. My face for the most part was scar free with two exceptions, but my neck did have several scars.

I'd become more comfortable over the past couple of years and had recently been leaving the top button of my shirts unfastened. This displaced my scars more, but my family members were the only people I had been around who could see them clearly. They had never really paid much attention to them.

I figured that a calm atmosphere would help the situation, but just as I thought that I felt a large negative spike from Edward. I stopped and considered that for a split second. _'Did Edward not want me to change the emotional climate? Or . . ._' my thought was interrupted by feeling a confirmation from Edward.

'_Okay so leave the emotions alone,'_ I though wearily.

"Hello Garrett," Edward said pleasantly.

"Hello Edward. It has been quite a while since I have seen you out and about," Garrett replied. He was still eying me wearily.

"Garrett, I'd like you to meet my _best friend_ Jasper," Edward said while clasping his hand on my shoulder, and giving it a light squeeze.

While I knew why Edward had introduced me as his best friend, I could not help feeling a little hurt by that. I was more then his friend! I was his lover, his mate!

'_Ugh! I can't wait until there is a time I can be openly affectionate with him.,_ I thought.

I suppressed the feeling so it did not reach my face, but I did clasp Edward's shoulder as well. I couldn't help it, and it was an instinctual move. Garrett smiled and gave me a quick nod, "Nice to meet you, Jasper."

I nodded in return, "Pleasure to meet you," My southern drawl was thick in my voice. This happened when I was fighting to control my instincts. I didn't have the concentration to control my voice, and keep my accent out of it.

"You can relax Garrett. Jasper is not one to pick fights," Edward said.

Garrett seemed to relax a little at this, but I knew it would take more to gain his trust. "I'm sure you are weary because of my scars. I was in the southern wars for more years then I care to count. I left that life behind me about four years ago. I've been living a very peaceful life with Edward and his family."

"Our family," Edward corrected. Garrett finally relaxed after hearing that.

"So you finally returned to Carlisle?" Garrett asked.

"Yes, thanks in large part to Jasper."

I just shrugged when Garrett looked at me. "Are Carlisle and Esme with you?"

"No, Jasper and I are trying to track down a friend from his former coven," I pulled out the picture Michaela had given me of Peter as Edward continued to speak.

"His name is Peter. This picture is from when he was human in the early 1920s," Edward finished.

Garrett looked at the picture, but I could tell he was unsure if he'd seen Peter. When we change many of our features, can become more defined. It can sometimes be difficult to tell the differences from a picture that is fuzzy by vampire standards.

Garrett handed me back the picture with a curious expression upon his face and in his emotions. I then realized it would be rather odd for us to have a picture of Peter when he was human. Garrett didn't speak this out loud. I also had no idea if he asked the question in his thoughts since Edward did not speak of it. I determined that he would not press the issue since Edward had not addressed it, if it had come up at all.

"I've come in contact with a few people named Peter over the last decade or so," Garrett replied.

"Have any of them been in the last year? My information is that he managed to leave my former coven about a year ago," I said.

Garrett thought for just a moment. "That would be him," Edward said. He had obviously seen Peter in Garrett thoughts. For the first time since learning that Peter had left Maria I felt hope that we might be close to finding him.

"Our paths crossed in Hartford about three months ago. He was alone and seemed to be constantly looking over his shoulder as if afraid that someone was after him," Garrett said eying me cautiously again.

I figured in that moment that he might think I have an issue with Peter. "I'm sure he's weary of being tracked down by Maria, our former coven leader. She's a rather sadistic creature," I replied dryly.

"That would explain it," Garrett said, but he was still cautious.

"Did he say anything about where he might be heading?" I asked eagerly.

Garrett paused; he was conflicted about answering my question.

"Garrett, it is very important that Jasper find Peter before Maria does. Jasper was being polite when he called her sadistic. The things I've seen in Jasper's mind that she has done would make the rest of us look like saints," Edward said.

Garrett sighed. "Edward obviously trusts you, but forgive my weariness. You strike me as someone who has held a position of authority. I have a strong distrust for those who wield power. It's a hold over from my days in the revolution," Garrett said.

I decided to be a little more forthcoming with Garrett in the hope that he might be willing to give up more information.

"Your assessment is correct. When I was human, I was a Major in the Confederate Army that is how Maria found me. Within days of being changed she placed me in charge of her newborn army, a position I held for more than sixty-years," I said.

"What is your last name Jasper?" Garrett asked. I picked up that his weariness was peaking again. I was almost certain that Garrett had some how heard of me.

"Whitlock," I said calmly.

My assumption had been correct. Garrett had indeed heard of me. Garrett's emotions were a mixture of fear and respect. I sent him some calm, but caused him to quirked an eyebrow.

"I am here of my own free will. Jasper is not controlling me," Edward spoke in a stern voice.

I sighed, but this was not getting any better. Ok time to try a slightly different approach I thought.

"Garrett," I waited for him to look at me again before continuing. "What I'm going to share with you is known by very few people, and all of them I trust implicitly. You've obviously heard who I am, and must know what I am capable of doing."

Garrett nodded.

I took a slow deep breath before speaking again. "Edward told you that Peter is a friend, and that is true. However, Peter is more then just my friend. He's family, as in the only grandchild of my human brother. I need to find him before Maria does so that I can keep him safe," I said, and my voice was nearly pleading for the information.

Garrett took a moment to take in what I had said. He looked to Edward for confirmation that I was telling him the truth. "He's telling you the truth Garrett. The picture we showed you is of Peter when he was human taken a few months before he was changed. Jasper has to find him before Maria learns Peter's true identity.

"He was planning to head south toward Philadelphia," Garrett said in a sigh.

"Thank you!" I said fervently.

"Do you want to see if we can find those two vampires, whose scent we picked up along Garrett's?" Edward asked.

"I would highly advise against that," Garrett said quickly.

"Why?" I asked curiously.

"Those two scents belong to James and Victoria. They are most definitely not vying for sainthood," Garrett replied.

"Care to explain?" I asked.

"James is a tracker, and a good one. He's also cocky and always too eager for a fight. He likes to think of the hunt as a game or a challenge. Rumor has it that he killed a vampire somewhere in Mississippi because the vampire was in love with a human girl. James wanted to make a meal of the human, but the other vampire changed her before he could. James killed him out of revenge and left the girl who was undergoing the transformation on her own," Garrett explained.

Both Edward and I must have had looks of sheer disbelief on our faces. I know I could feel Edward's disbelief, and I was certain he could read the disbelief in my thoughts.

"I am not sure I believe the rumor myself. Especially since, I haven't heard of any newborn going feral lately. However, I certainly wouldn't put something like this past James. He is definitely a sick enough bastard to do something like that," Garrett said with disgust.

"I think it would be best if we avoid them. This James fellow does not sound like someone I'd be interested in meeting," I replied.

Edward silently agreed. "Where are you heading to from here, Garrett?" Edward asked.

"Back north to Canada, and then probably westward for a while," Garrett replied indifferently.

"Well it was great to see you again and thank you for your help," Edward replied.

"It was great to see you, Edward. Jasper, nice to meet you and good luck finding Peter," Garrett said sincerely.

"Thank you. I truly appreciate your help," I replied.

We parted company and were on our way south. My thoughts went back to what Garrett had said about this James fellow. If the rumors were true then this sick bastard had nearly exposed our kind to humans.

It had been at least forty years since I had heard of a newborn going feral. I doubt that it had been that long ago that this incident occurred if it was still circulating as a rumor.

"Garrett was thinking that it happened in the early 1920s," Edward said.

"I'm skeptical then that it happened. Mississippi is not far from Texas and I am sure I'd have heard something. Having the Volturi that close is not something any of us in the south are comfortable with," I replied

"Perhaps we should discuss it with Carlisle when we return home," Edward suggested.

"Agreed, I also think we should be cautious of this James fellow if he is ever in our area," I added.

After a long day of disappointment we were in our hotel room in Philadelphia. Garrett had been correct about Peter coming to Philadelphia. I was quite certain he had been here for a couple of days about two months ago. We followed his trail all the way to the train station where it disappeared completely.

This may not seem odd, but it actually is very odd for vampires to use human transportation. The Cullens, my family, were the only vampires I knew that used human transportation.

"It is uncommon, but we are not the only vampires who use human transportation. I am surprised that he would take a train ride, but it is not unheard of," Edward said. He had just exited the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist.

My mind started imagining walking up to Edward and kissing him passionately while removing that towel. "Jazz, don't start. I have to call Carlisle," Edward said. His voice was full of lust.

Edward sat down at the desk and placed a call to Carlisle. I walked over and stood behind Edward rubbing his shoulders. "I hope nothing is wrong," Edward said after a minute on the phone.

That is when I became aware that another part of my mind had been counting the number of rings. There had been fifteen rings and no answer of the phone. Edward's anxiety was getting worse with each new ring that went unanswered. I was having difficulty keeping him calm, even with direct contact with his body.

It was the twenty-third ring before Esme finally answered the phone. "Hello."

"Esme are you ok? Is Carlisle hurt? Where is Rosalie? Why didn't you answer the phone? Do Jazz and I need to come home?" I stopped Edward from speaking by putting my hand over his mouth.

"Slow down Edward, and let her answer," I said still holding my hand on his mouth. "Go ahead Esme." I knew she'd hear me.

"No one is hurt or in danger," Esme said. I breathe a sigh of relief, as did Edward. "Carlisle just changed the hunter that Rosalie saved from the bear. There was blood everywhere and I was outside so I couldn't get to the phone," Esme's speech sped up quickly as she tried to get everything out.

"Esme slow down. What do you mean Carlisle changed a hunter? And what is this about a bear and Rosalie?" I asked. I removed my hand from Edward's mouth. He had managed to get his tongue out and was licking my palm, which was distracting.

"Rosalie was out hunting and she came across this hunter who was being mauled by a bear. She killed the bear and carried him home to Carlisle. Carlisle did everything he could to save his human life, but it wasn't enough. Rosalie begged Carlisle to change him," Esme said.

"What? Rosalie begged Carlisle to change him? But she hates this life," Edward said in a rush.

"Yes, she begged Carlisle to save him. I don't know why, but Carlisle finally agreed. I haven't had the chance to talk to him about it yet. I had to climb through a window into Carlisle's study to keep away from the blood in the sitting room so that I could answer the phone," Esme replied.

We aren't even gone a week yet, and things are already going wrong back home.

"Do Jasper and I need to come back?" Edward asked.

"I..." Esme hesitated a moment. "I think Carlisle can handle it. But that boy is quite muscular." The last sentence had been said in a much lower voice. That statement settled it. Edward and I would need to go back.

"We're coming back Esme," I said. Saying those words caused my heart to feel a tinge of pain. I was abandoning Peter yet again, but this time I had responsibilities to my family. They needed me and no matter how much I personally wanted to find Peter I had to put my family's needs first.

Edward gave me a sympatric look and I was sure he was about to protest, but I shook my head. "We'll see you in the morning, Esme," I finished. The pain grew stronger, but I pushed it away.

"Okay then, we'll see you boys in the morning," Esme replied then ended the call.

I sat down on the bed and put my face in my hands. I desperately wanted just a few minutes alone so I could say a small prayer for Peter's safety. I felt the bed sink beside me as Edward sat down. He wrapped his left arm around me and pulled my body to him. I rested my head upon his shoulder.

"Say your prayer, Jazz." Edward whispered.

I lifted my head and turned my sad pain filled eyes to look at Edward's face. His soft caring eyes looked back into mine. Edward gave me a gentle smile. "You're entitled to your beliefs love." Edward continued.

"How did you know?" I asked softly.

Edward frowned slightly. "I've been meaning to tell you. We aren't apart very often, but ever since I started working at the clinic I have been trying to push my ability to read minds; more specifically to read yours from further away. I can read it from a few miles out now. I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner," Edward said.

I know I should probably be angry with him for not telling me, but I could understand why he had been pushing his abilities. Being away from each other for long periods of time was quite difficult. It had been difficult for me at first when Edward started working at the clinic. It had taken me weeks to find ways to distract myself enough not to constantly think about Edward when he was working.

I suddenly remember what Edward had just said. "How long have you known about me praying?" I asked.

"Only since the day that Rosalie finished off Royce," Edward replied.

"You're not upset?" I asked.

Edward gave me a quizzical look. "Why would I be upset? You have a right to believe what you want."

"It's just that you have always stuck by your belief that we are damned, and that we have no souls. I thought you might be upset that I still held out some hope," I replied.

Edward sighed softly. "I'm sorry. I never meant to make you feel you couldn't believe what you wanted. You're right, and I don't hold out much hope for us. I've done a lot of bad things when I was away from Carlisle and Esme. It's difficult to believe that I'll ever be forgiven for that behavior, but Carlisle did forgive me. Maybe if I am able to make amends then God may forgive me too."

I didn't speak. My mind was torn between my responsibility to my family and my selfishness to go find Peter. I rested my head upon Edward's shoulder again and closed my eyes. I silently said my prayer asking for Peter's safety, and for God to lead him to us. I knew that I would not be able to go out looking for Peter for at least a year. Maybe he would find us instead.

Edward kissed the top of my head, and then rested his cheek to the spot he kissed. "I don't know if he's listening, but it can't hurt to ask," Edward said softly.

I realized that Edward had added his own silent prayer to my own for Peter's safety. I smiled wondering how I got so lucky in finding Edward.

"I'm the lucky one," Edward smirked.

"I think we are both lucky. We always seem to have an answer or solution for the problem that the other faces. I don't think it was entirely luck that drew us together," I said softly.

Edward and I kissed passionately. I could feel Edward's love radiating off of him. I returned the gesture by projecting my love for him outward.

"We should get dressed and head home. I'm a little concerned about how Esme described this hunter. If he is indeed muscular that means he's going to be very strong, even by newborn standards," I said.

"You need to start teaching me so that I can help if we need to physically intervene should he lose control," Edward replied.

I nodded, "I'll show you some training memories that I have of Peter and I as we travel south."

We quickly got dressed and gathered our belongings. I wanted to get home quickly so that we could help deal with any complications.


	10. Never a Dull Moment

**Chapter 10: Never a Dull Moment**

Esme greeted us on the front porch upon our return home. "I've missed you both." She hugged and kissed Edward and then me. We had been gone less then a week, but I could feel that Esme really did miss us.

"We missed you too, mom," I replied honestly.

I looked upon Carlisle and Esme as my parents more and more with each passing day. I did not feel it was a betrayal to my human parents. I still loved them greatly, even with my memories of them fading with each passing year.

Esme smiled at me affectionately when she heard me call her mom. Esme was well aware that I consider her and Carlisle my vampire parents, but I didn't often call them mom and dad. Referring to them by their first name was second nature to me. A traditional family structure within the vampire world is extremely rare; I know of only one in existence.

"Carlisle and Rosalie are sitting with Emmett," Esme said.

I quirked an eyebrow, _'Who is Emmett?'_

Esme understanding my confusion quickly clarified. "Emmett is the name of the young man that Rosalie saved."

Just as I was about to ask for details about what happen there was a loud scream from Rosalie's room. The scream was immediately followed by two very distinct waves of sadness. I projected a wave of calm in the direction of Rosalie's room.

"Thank you, Jasper," I heard Carlisle call out in a normal voice.

"Come inside, and Carlisle can fill you in on what has happened," Esme said.

I looked over at Edward whose face showed intent concentration. I assumed that he was already gathering information from Carlisle about what had occurred.

'_Never a dull moment around here,'_ I thought.

I heard Edward snickering behind me as I followed Esme into the house. "What are you laughing about?" I asked.

"No reason," Edward replied with a grin.

'_Fine, keep your secrets. I'll get it out of you later.'_ Edward just continued to grin at me like a fool.

When I entered Rosalie's room two things struck me at once. First this guy was big, bigger then me. He was about six foot three and muscular. This concerned me greatly, because it would mean that any of us could be hurt if we had to physically intervene. I assumed by his youthful appearance that he was somewhere near my physical age of nineteen.

The second thing that struck me was Rosalie's emotions and the way she looked at Emmett. Her emotions were all over the place, but there were several that were intense. Those emotions were slowly becoming more intense with each passing second. The most intense of these was 'Love'.

The moment I thought the word Edward's head snapped in my direction, "Are you sure?"

I gave him a quizzical look. _'Have I ever been wrong before?'_

"No, and that does clarify things," Edward said with his _deep in thought expression_.

I could tell Carlisle wanted in on the conversation as he gave us a curious expression. Rosalie appeared totally oblivious to our presence; at least it appeared that way. I knew it was impossible for her not to know we were there. Our minds no matter how distracted seemed to always keep tabs on our surroundings.

"Jasper was thinking about a couple of things that struck him when he entered the room," Edward began.

Carlisle gave us his full attention now. He was always so eager to learn new things. It reminded me of a child who was locked up in a toy story.

"The first was Emmett's appearance. Jasper thinks he's going to be very strong, more then your average newborn," Edward continued.

I watched Carlisle frown, and felt his worry at this revelation. I was an expert on newborns in Carlisle's mind, at least that's what Edward had told me once. My years of service in Maria's army had taught me a great deal about newborn vampires.

"We'll need to be very careful if we have to physically restrain him. Jasper is going to teach me how to keep from hurting ourselves and Emmett should we need to intervene," Edward added.

"I'd like to join you both for that, if you don't mind?" Carlisle requested.

"Of course," I replied. I wasn't as hesitant with training my family this time. I knew they would need the teaching to keep Emmett and all of us safe.

"What was the second thing?" Carlisle asked.

Edward looked over at Rosalie. "Rosalie."

Rosalie did not turn her head until I called her name. "You know I can feel your emotions," I stated.

"I don't know how he will feel, but I think… I love him," Rosalie whispered.

I heard Esme gasp behind us. Carlisle turned his attention to Rosalie. "I thought that may have been why you asked me to change him."

"I don't know if he'll love me back. I just hope he's not angry at me for being so selfish," Rosalie turned her questioning eyes to me.

"I'm sorry Rosalie, but I don't know. He is in so much pain that it is blocking all his other emotions. The pain is the only thing he is feeling right now," I replied.

I heard Carlisle sigh. "I guess that means the morphine did not work."

"You gave him morphine?" Edward asked.

"Yes, I was hoping it might help with the pain of transformation," Carlisle replied.

"Maybe a larger dose would have helped?" Edward suggested.

"I think I may not have given it enough time to spread. I bit him almost immediately after the second dose. Perhaps the venom surged ahead of the morphine," Carlisle reasoned.

Edward and Carlisle continued their discussion as we exited Rosalie's room. Esme stayed behind with Rosalie and Emmett. We headed out to the backyard, and away from Esme's garden. None of us wanted to face her wrath if we caused any damage to her garden or the house.

"The first thing to keep in mind is that newborns are very strong. That's why the southern armies use them. The biggest weakness with newborns is their lack of training. They tend to go for the obvious attack or defense," I began instructing.

"I assume we can use the same tactics used by the southern armies to subdue a newborn with Emmett, but without causing him harm?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes. Our goal should be to just restrain him and calm him down should we ever need to physically intervene. However, just like the average newborn he won't have any training. Don't come at him head on, try coming at him from the sides. You can also feign an attack from one direction then change course and come at him from another direction," I continued.

I started by practicing with Edward. It was harder then I expected, especially when I was the one stalking him. Edward proved to be a formidable opponent very quickly. I tried hard not to think about my next move before making it, but it was nearly impossible. A split second before my body went into action my mind would think of what I planned to do. Edward would quickly move out of the way or try to counter me.

After close to ten minutes with neither of us able to gain the upper hand I called a truce. Edward smirked at me happily. I had to admit that Edward was very capable of defending himself. However, I still didn't like the idea of him fighting.

I spent the next hour working with Carlisle. I knew that he was not one to fight if there were alternatives. Carlisle was truly a passive in that nature, but he was not going to stand by while someone hurt his family.

Carlisle was a fast learner and quickly picked up the necessary tactics to counter my moves and put up a good defense. Edward's gift gave him a serious edge against any opponent. Especially if that opponent did not know of his gift. Carlisle did not have a similar gift and his compassion could be view as a weakness. I hoped to be able to turn that into an advantage for Carlisle. Let his opponents underestimate him.

It was then that I realized that perhaps I was underestimating Carlisle. After all Carlisle had been a leader in the Volturi Guard. I can't imagine that Aro would send out a team with an untrained leader. I pressed harder and Carlisle easily responded, too easily. I stepped it up again and as expected Carlisle easily met my increased attacks.

We finally called a truce and I told Carlisle that I made a huge mistake. I had underestimated him. I had broken a cardinal rule: _never underestimate your opponent._ Carlisle laughed and told me that I was not the first, but thanked me for helping him remember his training.

I was still well aware that even with his training; Carlisle was not likely to fight unless it was absolutely necessary. I knew that if our family ever faces a challenge that it would fall to Edward and me to defend them. If Emmett decides to stay with us, which I thought was likely, than we'd have three capable fighters. I really didn't like to think of my family having to defend themselves, but I knew one day we may have too.

I was certain given enough time, and time was something we had in abundance, that Maria would find me. Edward was right and I had been foolish not teaching my family to defend themselves. I still hoped it would never come to a fight should Maria find me, but I couldn't deny that she would likely use force if she thought it was the only way to get me back.

After Carlisle went back in the house to check on Emmett, Edward and I practiced a bit more. I hadn't thought it would bother me this much to train Edward. I knew we'd have to do physical training, but each time I attacked him I cringed at the thought of hurting him.

"Okay, enough Jazz. You're going to drive me crazy with your thoughts," Edward said after we'd been practicing for nearly thirty minutes. I was pleasantly relieved that we were done.

"We're done for today. We can practice more tomorrow," Edward added.

I frowned, but nodded. I knew that one training session was not going to be near enough, but I was not looking forward to more. Edward having read my thoughts came over and gave me a tight hug.

"You didn't hurt me, so don't get all work up. To be honest it was fun to be able to release all that pent up energy," Edward whispered into my ear before placed a chaste kiss upon my lips.

I could agree somewhat with Edward about the release of energy. We always had to maintain a constantly level of control to keep from crushing door knobs or tearing the page of a book when reading. It didn't require active focus to do those things most times, but it was tedious. I would have fully agreed with Edward was it not for the fact that I didn't like the thought of hurting him or Carlisle. Even if I had hurt them accidentally, I would have still felt horrible about it.

Edward groaned. "Seriously, Jazz, none of us will hold it against you if we get hurt. Think about it this way instead. By teaching us you are significantly lowering the risks of any of us getting hurt if the need to defend ourselves would ever come to fruition." Edward said.

'_Annoying know-it-all mind-reading vampire,'_ I groaned in my thoughts.

Edward was trying hard not to laugh, but I could feel his amusement. "I'm going to go play the piano. Come sit with me? Please," Edward requested.

"In a minute, I want to retrieve one of my Journals," I replied.

Edward smiled and gave me another chaste kiss before running off into the house. I dusted myself off. Edward had thrown me into a large pile of dirty during our practice session. I felt like I need a shower.

"Edward! Don't you dare sit on my clean furniture in your dirty clothes!" I heard Esme scolding Edward. "Go upstairs and get out of those dirty clothes, and take a shower!"

"Yes, mom," Edward replied meekly.

I couldn't help but laugh, but quickly pull off my boots and socks before entering the house. I passed by Esme on my way up the stairs to change out of these dirty clothes. That's when it really hit me. The very thought of Esme having to fight to defend herself or our family would be heart wrenching.

I knew that in many species it was the mother who took care and protected her offspring. While I had noticed that in humans, mothers tend to do the same, they were normally supported by their male counterparts. I had been raised that it was the man's role to protect his family, and treat them with love and respect.

I knew Esme was capable of defending herself, but she was more passive then Carlisle. She hated when we argued. I could just image what she would have felt had she been outside earlier with Carlisle, Edward and me. She knew we were only practicing, but I am sure she'd have not enjoyed the sight. It would have looked all too real.

"You really need to stop worrying so much. You are going to be the first vampire in history to give himself an ulcer," Edward joked. He was stripping out of his dirty clothes when I entered our bedroom.

"I can't help it. It's in my nature to worry," I replied.

"Well don't underestimate Esme," Edward stated. "Have you ever watched a mother bear whose cub was threatened?"

I shook my head no. We had been on numerous hunting trips, but I rarely spent much time watching the wildlife. The moment they picked up our scent they scattered to the four winds.

"You of all people have the keenest sense of how much Esme loves and cares for all of us. I've noticed that bears especially are protective of their offspring. It is deadly for a human to come between a mother bear and her cub. They view it as a threat to the safety of their offspring."

I nodded my agreement. I had been having similar thoughts just a moment ago.

"Exactly, and that is my point. None of us would ever want to see Esme fight, but if any of us were threatened there would be no way to stop her from being there. I'd also hate to be the person who hurt any of us," Edward finished.

'_I know you are right, but it's just painful to think about._'

I had been turned away from Edward pulling out clean clothes from our closet. I turned back toward him just in time to see a completely butt naked Edward walking into our private bathroom. My body responded immediately and Little Jasper was standing at attention.

Edward chuckled.

"Tease!" I called after him.

Edward chuckled again. I quickly stripped out of my clothes with the intention of joining Edward in the shower. "Damn it Edward!" I complained. He had locked me out of the bathroom. Not that, that would really stop me, but I didn't want to get Esme upset with me for breaking a door.

I sat down on the bed disappointed. Little Jasper was disappointed too. A few minutes later I heard the shower turn off and then Edward exited the bathroom wearing a pair of boxer shorts. I frowned again in disappointment.

"Sorry, Jazz. We can't right now. We both need to be alert and you know how we get wrapped up into each other when we make love," Edward said sadly.

"I know," I replied dejectedly.

"I promise I'll make it up to you later," Edward grinned and then licked his lips.

I narrowed my eyes at him as I stood. I moved so that I stood mere inches from Edward. My lips near his left ear as whispered. "Later then. Meet me in the garage. I'm going to bend you over the hood of your car, and fuck you senseless."

"Umm, not the car," Edward said.

"Yes, the car," I replied, and then walked into the bathroom but not before noticing that Edward junior was pointing north. I grinned evilly to myself as I locked the door to the bathroom.

'_Two can play at this game.'_

I showered quickly, and got dressed. I also grabbed on one of my journals, and made a quick stop by Rosalie's room to check on Emmett's transformation.

It appeared that Emmett had passed out again from the pain. This was one of the many things about the transformation process that sucked. You would pass out for a few minutes only to wake up still feeling the intense pain and burning.

I turned my attention to Rosalie, who was holding Emmett's hand. The last thing I expect was to come home and find that Rosalie had fallen in love. I am thrilled for her, but I am surprised considering what had happened to her just a few short years ago. I just hope that Emmett loves her back.

I left the room and decided to listen to Edward play the piano while reading one of the journals that I had written while human. I joined Esme on the sofa, where she was knitting what appeared to be woolen socks.

Winter had passed us and we were well into spring, but it appeared that Esme was getting a jump start on clothing some of the area families for next winter. There was a large basket of various colored yarn beside her and what appeared to be a half dozen pair of woolen socks, mittens and bonnets.

I sat with my back against a pillow where the arm of the sofa met the back. I placed my feet on the cushion so that was in a sitting fetal position. I felt a slight displeasure coming from Esme, but she didn't say anything. I was barefoot and it was comfortable, so unless she said something I wasn't moving.

I know it was rude, but comfort was important at the moment. I was about to read my own thoughts from the past and I was unsure of what I would find there. Opening the Journal, I read the first entry.

_March 4, 1861_

_I joined the Army of the Confederate States of America today. Momma was very angry with me. She said I was too young and that I need to finish my education. I feel bad that I hurt momma's feelings, but this is important to me._

_Poppa told me he was very proud of me for standing up for what I believe in. He said that the Army was lucky to have me. It made me feel good that he approved, but I couldn't shake off how I had hurt momma. I never meant to hurt her. I hope she forgives me soon._

_March 5, 1861_

_Momma made me breakfast this morning, but she has not spoken to me once since yesterday. Papa told me to stop worrying that momma loved me and was proud of me too._

_I report to Fort Houston in two days to begin my training. The army is just forming and papa things I'll move up quickly in the ranks. He says I have a lot of charisma, which is an important quality of a leader._

_March 7, 1861_

_Momma gave me a hug this morning before I left for Fort Houston. She told me that she loved me and was very proud of me. She also said she was scared something bad may happen to me and didn't want to lose me. I told her I would be fine. I promised to write and come see them as soon as I could._

_March 12, 1861_

_My commanding officer ordered me to report to officer training today. It seems that I may have impressed several of the officers at Fort Houston. I was told that upon completion of my training I would earn the rank of Second Lieutenant._

_I wrote momma and papa about the news. I hope they are proud of me._

_April 3, 1861_

_Officer training is a lot of book work. I've spent the last week reading battlefield manuals. My head hurts from the overload of information. My instructor tells me that I'm at the top of my class, and has put in for me to be promoted directly to First Lieutenant upon completion of my train next week._

_Momma and papa are very pleased with my selection to be an officer. Papa said it was all because of how charismatic I am. My instructor said that my papa was a smart man, but that I was also a natural battlefield leader. He told me that out of all his students I had the best grasp on battlefield tactics._

_April 10, 1861_

_Today I completed my officer training and received the rank of First Lieutenant. My parents surprised me by showing up to the ceremony. I was so happy to see them. Momma hugged me and told me again how proud she was of me._

_The regimental photographer took a picture of me with momma and papa. He promised to send them a copy of the picture._

I was shocked. I knew I had risen through the ranks quickly, but I was a First Lieutenant within a month of joining. I was happy that in the end my momma had seemed ok with my joining the army, but I couldn't shake the feeling of having hurt her. It was even more difficult now when I realized that her worse fears had come true.

Edward stopped playing, "I disagree. I think her worse fears would have been that you died. While she never saw you again, we all know that she thought you were still alive."

I frowned. Looking at things from my current perspective, surrounded by a family who loves me, yes death probably would have been worse. However, I'm sure death would have been preferable compared to my past.

I saw Edward frown, and noticed Esme eyeing us curiously from the corner of my eye. I need to figure out how to get past my demons. My past is preventing me from moving on with my life, and holding me back.

I turned to look at the clock. We were nearing the first full day of Emmett's transformation. Right on cue we hurt Emmett give out an ear piercing shriek of pain. All three of us cringe at the sound. Sometimes having super hearing sucked. Carlisle flew down the hall and up the stairs to check on Emmett.

We had tried using my power during Rosalie's transformation to help her. We learned later that it had not had the impact we had thought. While it had kept Rosalie calm, it had not helped with the pain. I was quite certain that nothing would help with the pain of transformation. It was just one of those things you had to go through to reach immortality.

Emmett was still screaming in agony and if I didn't get out of the house soon I was going to go deaf. Well there is an interesting thought. _Can a vampire go deaf?_ I decide not to test that theory.

I made a quick detour to our room, specifically the bathroom. I was looking for a specific item, but it wasn't in the medicine cabinet. Instead there was a small tube of KY Jelly with a note attached. I hesitated to pick up the rather inoffensive object.

_Edward & Jasper,_

_I found this in my medical supply catalog. I believe this would be a better alternative to the petroleum-based_ _lubricant you have been using._

_Carlisle_

I groaned. _'You've got to be kidding me.'_ I swear my family takes far too much interest in mine and Edward's sex life. I shoved the inoffensive object in my pocket and quickly head out.

My irritation was gone the moment I saw Edward waiting for me in the garage. Edward looked deep in thought as he ran his right hand through his hair repeatedly. I licked my lips as I thought about what I had planned to do.

"Umm . . . about that Jazz . . . Can we not fuck with me bent over the hood of my car. We might hurt it," Edward pleaded.

'_Hurt it? Hurt the car?'_ I thought.

Edward didn't say anything but was giving me this pained look. "Edward it's a car. You can't hurt it," I said.

"She's my first car Jazz. She's my baby," Edward pleaded.

(...) **A/N: Due to FFn's Ratings policy this section of the story can be read at TWCS. A link is available in my Author's Profile.** (...)

We quickly dressed and I caught Edward trying to stealthily check out his car for damage. Edward was relieved when he saw no damage. "I told you we wouldn't hurt your baby," I laughed.

I smacked Edward's ass and ran for the house. I didn't have a prayer of beating him to the house. Edward tackled me to the ground at the foot of the porch steps. I rolled over and we were both laughing when we heard Esme scold us from the doorway. "Boys, no rough housing!"

"Sorry mom," We both said.

Esme was amused by our antics, but she tried to keep a straight face. We both gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, and we walked into the house. It was thankfully quiet in the house. It appeared that Emmett had calmed down or passed out again.

The phone rang as Edward passed it. "Cullen residence; Edward speaking," Edward said answering the phone.

"_Dr. Masen, thank God. It's Ms. Wilkes," The caller said._

"How can I help you, Ms. Wilkes?" Edward said.

"_William fell out of a tree and I think he may have broken his arm," Ms. Wilkes said._

"Oh, the poor dear," Esme whispered to me.

"Can you tell me if he has any other injuries, and why you think his arm maybe broken?" Edward asked.

"_No other injuries. His arm is swelling and he says it hurts a great deal just above his wrist." Ms. Wilkes replied_.

"Do you think you can bring him to the clinic? I'll need to take an x-ray of his arm to be sure it's broken," Edward said.

"_Yes, I'll bring him immediately," Ms. Wilkes replied._

"I'll meet you at the clinic," Edward replied, and ended the call.

"Did you want to come with me?" Edward asked before heading for the door.

"Umm . . . won't there be blood?" I asked hesitantly.

"Not from the sounds of the injury," Carlisle said as he entered the room carrying a box. "These are medical supplies for the clinic."

I took the box from Carlisle and turned toward Edward. "I can come. Perhaps I can help keep him calm," I replied.

Edward smiled brightly and held the door open for me. "We'll return shortly."

Edward and I made the short run to the clinic through the forest and arrived in a few short minutes. Edward unlocked the back door to the clinic and let us in. I took the box of supplies to the medical supply room.

"Jasper, can you check to see if we have any Paracetamol." Edward called out to me in a normal voice.

I found the Paracetamol easily on a shelf with a variety of other medications.

"Count out two dozen tablets and put them in one of the small bags in there," Edward called out again.

I did as Edward asked. He joined me a moment later wearing his white lab coat. "I'll take those."

"What is that for?" I asked.

"It's a medication used to treat pain," Edward replied as he picked up a bottle of Morphine and a syringe.

Edward noticed the look on my face as I eyed the syringe in his hand. "Relax Jazz. I've done this plenty of times without drawing blood. I'll give you fair warning before I do it so you can wait outside."

"Thanks," I mumbled.

I could hear Ms. Wilkes arrive a moment later. "Can you go greet them and bring them to exam room one? He's not bleeding, I already checked there thoughts to be sure," Edward said.

I nodded, and went to greet Ms. Wilkes and William. I rounded the corner as Ms. Wilkes knocked on the door. "Good evening Ms. Wilkes, William," I said as I let them into the clinic.

I could see tears in William's eyes as he entered. He was trying to be brave, but I knew he was in a good deal of pain. He was cradling his left arm in such a way to keep the pain to a minimum. I could tell that compared to his right arm it was quite swollen.

"Good evening, Mr. Cullen," Ms. Wilkes said as I lead them to the exam room. I helped William up onto the exam bed then moved to the opposite side of the room.

Edward walked into the room a moment later. "Ms. Wilkes, it is good to see you again."

He turned to William who was sitting on the exam bed. "Hello William. Can you tell me what happened?" Edward asked in a tender tone as he gently examined William's arm.

"I fell out of a tree," William admitted.

"I think it might be broken, but let's be sure. Come with me William. I am going to x-ray your arm so that I can see if it's broken and so that I can set the bone properly," Edward said in his tender tone.

Edward helped William down from the exam bed and led him to the x-ray room. They were only gone a few minutes before Edward returned to led Ms. Wilkes to the procedure room. William had indeed broken his arm. It was a clean break according to Edward.

It only took about fifteen minutes for Edward to get William's arm wrapped in the plaster cast. By the time it was over William was in a lot less pain.

"This is Paracetamol. It's used to treat pain," Edward said as he handed the small bag to Ms. Wilkes. "I've given William an injection of Morphine which should last for a few hours. When it wears off you can give him one to two tablets of the Paracetamol, but no more then two per doze."

"Thank you so much Dr. Masen," Ms. Wilkes said.

"William why don't you go with Jasper and he'll give you a chocolate bar," Edward said.

I lead William to the lobby and found a small stack of chocolate bars in one of the cabinets. I handed a few to William. "Don't tell Edward I gave you more then one," I said with a wink.

William smiled brightly at me and quickly opened one of the bars.

I could hear down the hall that Ms. Wilkes was discussing payment with Edward. I already knew that Edward was not going to charge her for the services. The Wilkes had almost no money, and Ms. Wilkes was having a difficult time paying for basic needs with her part-time job.

The discussion lasted less then a minute before Edward's persuasive power had Ms. Wilkes relenting. She thanked Edward again before coming to the lobby to retrieve William.

"Drive safely, and be sure to bring William back in three weeks. We'll see how he's doing and if the cast can come off," Edward said.

"Thank you again Dr. Masen. Mr. Cullen it is a pleasure to see you again," Ms. Wilkes said. They departed for home and Edward and I proceed to lock up the clinic. After locking up, Edward and I decide to go hunting. It had been an eventful and draining day. We could both benefit from a quick meal.


	11. Emmett

**Chapter 11: Emmett**

Emmett's transformation was nearly complete. His heart was racing rapidly toward its final beat. He was still pleading for us to kill him between his loud cries of pain. Rosalie was trying to calm him down, and telling him it was almost over. I had tried in vein to calm down Emmett, but his emotions were so intense with pain that I was having no effect.

Silence filled the room with the last beat of Emmett's heart. All of us held our breath as we waited for Emmett to open his eyes. Rosalie was still holding on to Emmett's right hand. His eyes opened for the first time with his new vision. We watched carefully as he took in all the new sights, colors and details.

"Emmett," Rosalie whispered in her musical voice.

Emmett's head snapped in the direction of Rosalie's voice. His emotions shifted so quickly it was like whiplash. For one sixteenth of a second he felt shock and was tensed, but the moment his eyes fell upon Rosalie they shifted. His emotions were filled with adoration, lust, and a slow building love.

"Angel," Emmett spoke. I could feel the shock register at the sound of his voice.

"I know it is very confusing, but try to stay calm. We'll explain everything to you," Rosalie spoke softly. Emmett turned his attention reluctantly away from Rosalie to take in the rest of the room.

Edward and I stood at the foot of the bed shoulder to shoulder. A few feet behind us were Carlisle and Esme. I had wanted Rosalie to move closer to Edward and me, but she refused to leave Emmett's side. I chose not to argue with her over it.

Emmett's expression changed to worry as he took us all in, but relaxed a bit when he saw Carlisle.

"You are safe here," Carlisle spoke.

Emmett nodded, and turned his eyes back to Rosalie. "You saved me from the bear, and brought me to God to be healed?"

_Did he really think we were angels?_ I suppose that would make Carlisle God since he was the one who had 'healed' Emmett. I wanted to laugh, but suppressed the urge. We were definitely not angels and Carlisle was not God, although he could probably pass for Zeus's younger brother.

"We are not angels, and I am not God," Carlisle replied. He too was suppressing his mild amusement.

Emmett turned his attention away from Rosalie and back to Carlisle. He had this perplexed look upon his face as he stared at Carlisle.

"I saw my angel save me," He said as he turned to smile at Rosalie.

"I am not an angel, Emmett. I did save you from the bear, and I took you to my father so he could save you," Rosalie replied.

Emmett looked confused, and his confusion grew as he looked between Rosalie and Carlisle several times.

"I know it is very confusing for you right now, but we will try to explain," Carlisle spoke again.

Emmett nodded, and waited for Carlisle or Rosalie to continue. It was Rosalie who decided to continue. "My name is Rosalie."

"That is a very pretty name, for a very pretty lady," Emmett smiled.

I suppressed another laugh. Emmett knew exactly what to say to make Rosalie light up. Her joy, happiness and love spiked. I really do hope he falls in love with her. He might just be what she needs.

"This is my family," Rosalie continued. "This," she said while pointing to Carlisle, is my father, Carlisle."

Carlisle nodded, and then pulled Esme closer to him. He introduced Esme next. "This is my wife, and mother of my children, Esme."

"Those two are my brothers, Edward and Jasper," Rosalie finished.

Edward and I nodded to Emmett. His grinned, but before he could speak Rosalie continued. "We are not human nor are we angels."

Rosalie hesitated a moment, and Emmett used the opportunity to ask what we were. "If you are not angels, and you are not human then what are you?"

Rosalie looked at me and I nodded. "We are vampires."

Emmett laughed. That was not the response we were anticipating.

I looked at Edward curiously. "He doesn't believe her. He think it's a joke," Edward answered my unasked question.

"You can't be vampires. Vampires drink blood. Wouldn't you have wanted to drink my blood instead of save me?" Emmett replied.

The look on Rosalie's face told us that the thought had crossed her mind when she had smelt the human blood.

"We are different from others of our kind. We don't hunt humans, but you are right in that your blood would have triggered our instinct to feed. It takes years of practice to be able to control our thirst," Carlisle said. He was giving Rosalie a curious expression. No doubt that he had a million questions about what happened in the forest.

Emmett looked at him for a long moment. "You're serious?"

Carlisle nodded. Emmett looked uncomfortable for a moment and his left hand moved up to rub his throat.

"Is that why I have a sore throat?" Emmett asked.

"That is part of the reason. You are very young to this new life. You will be very thirsty, which is why your throat is sore. After you have hunted, you will feel better." Carlisle answered.

"You mean I need to hunt humans?" Emmett asked. His expression was slightly pained.

'_Good.'_ I thought. This would hopefully make his acceptance of our life style easier.

"No, we do not hunt humans, and because you are so young you cannot be around humans for at least a year. You will not be able to return to your family. Humans cannot know that our kind exists," Carlisle explained.

Emmett frowned. "You will need to stay with us until you have learned control. You will be free to go off on your own after you have learned control, or you can stay with us," Carlisle continued.

"I would like it if you stayed with us," Rosalie added.

Emmett looked at Rosalie with a huge smile. _'Well, I think that is settled.'_

"We should take you hunting. You're thirst must be painful," I said.

Emmett looked at me and nodded. "What do we hunt, since you do not hunt humans?"

"We hunt animals," I answered.

Emmett suddenly smiled brightly. "Like grizzly bears?"

"We do hunt grizzly bears, but we must be careful with our hunting habits. We try to focus on place with over populations of predators, but we also feed on deer and other gentler creatures," Edward said. Edward had a slight smirk on his face. I'm sure he had the same conclusion I did, 'Emmett wanted to get even with bears for being attacked.'

"Will I need my gun?" Emmett asked.

"No. We have our own weapons." Edward replied smiling brightly.

"Well then what are we waiting for?" Emmett grinned.

I looked to Carlisle to see if he had anything he wanted to add before we took Emmett hunting.

"I have nothing else at the moment. Esme and I will wait here while you all go hunting. Please be careful," Carlisle said.

Carlisle and Esme exited the room. I waited a moment to let them get downstairs. Emmett was calm at the moment, but that could change in an instant.

"Let's go hunt," I said.

Emmett was on his feet in a flash. "Are you coming with us, angel?" Emmett asked.

Rosalie smiled broadly, "Yes I am."

"Follow Edward out to the forest. We'll teach you what you need to know as we head to a safe place to hunt," I said.

Rosalie took Emmett right hand and followed after Edward. I followed closely behind them as we headed out. We entered the forest behind the house and began to run. Emmett ran at the same speed as Rosalie, which was a relief.

"We have rules that we much follow when we hunt. They are to protect us and the humans," Rosalie began.

I watched Emmett as he listened intently on what Rosalie was saying. He was still controlled, but I could feel his emotions fluctuate across the board every few seconds. He was working hard to keep his mind focused.

"When we get there, I am going to run a parameter check to make sure we are in a safe zone. You will stay with Rosalie and Jasper. They will explain all the rules to you and teach you how to track and hunt your prey," Edward added.

"Are there a lot of rules to remember?" Emmett asked.

"There are a few, but your new mind will have little trouble remembering them. Vampire memory is near perfect. You will remember everything you do, hear, say, see, smell and so forth forever," Rosalie answered.

"I was forgetful as a human. Being able to remember things will be a nice change," Emmett replied.

Neither, Edward, Rosalie nor I commented on that. We all had things in our past we wish we could forget, but now was not the time to tell Emmett about those things. We reached what Edward and I determined to be a safe hunting spot. It was about fifty miles away from any of the nearby towns.

"I'm going to go run the perimeter now," Edward said and took off with a quick sprint.

'_Edward, go out an extra half mile beyond our normal perimeter.'_ I called out in my thoughts. I knew Edward heard me even thought he did not respond.

"The first rule when hunting," Rosalie continued, "We need to be sure we are in a safe zone. We don't want to hurt any humans, nor do we want to expose ourselves. Our kind needs to remain a secret to the human world."

"That is why Edward is running a perimeter check," Emmett said.

While it technically wasn't a question, Rosalie chose to answer it as one. "Yes. Edward is the fastest runner. When we all hunt together he normally runs the perimeter check. He also is the best controlled of all of us other then Carlisle."

I was a bit surprised that Rosalie was giving Edward praise. The two of them tend to annoy each other more then anyone else in the house. I knew she loved him like a brother, but they fought worse then cats and dogs at times.

Edward returned a few minutes later to give us the all clear. We continued to explain to Emmett the rules of hunting. He asked a couple of questions that we answered. We finally told him that we'd be following a short distance behind, incase humans wondered into our hunting area.

Rosalie talked Emmett through the steps. I picked out the scents of bear and a heard of deer not far away, but in different directions. I had a really good feeling that Emmett was going to go for the bear. He did not disappoint and within another minute we were watching from a short distance away as Emmett was draining the large grizzly bear.

Emmett's shirt which was already in bad shape before the hunt was totally destroyed now. He was also covered in fur, blood, twigs, leaves and mud. Esme was going to pitch a fit if he walked in the house like that.

'_I think we'll have to teach him some table manners.' _I laughed in my thoughts. Edward chuckled beside me as heard my thoughts and also took in Emmett's appearance.

After we took out the herd of deer, we headed back to the house. During Emmett's transformation Esme had gone to Big Stone Gap, a town a south of Appalachia, to shop for clothes for him. Rosalie took Emmett to her bathroom so that he could shower and get cleaned up.

Edward and I had just sat down in Carlisle's study to begin discussing our eventual move. I was not looking forward to moving again. This would be the third move in four years. We were just about to discuss locations when we heard the sound of metal breaking followed quickly by a rush of water.

Emmett cursed. We heard someone, most likely Rosalie, turning off the water supply to her bathroom sink. I could clearly hear Emmett apologizing repeatedly to Rosalie. I heard her tell him not to worry about it that it would take time for him to learn to control his strength.

Rosalie appeared a few minutes later holding what was left of the cold water knob for her sink faucet.

"Sorry to interrupt," Rosalie said.

"It's quite alright, Rosalie. What can we help you with?" Carlisle asked.

"Emmett was a little too enthusiastic with the cold water knob on my sink faucet. I was hoping that Jasper might be able to fix it?" Rosalie asked.

I took the knob from Rosalie and shook my head after a quick examination. "Sorry Rosalie, it'll need to be replaced. I'll need to go into town and pick up a new one, unless someone else goes to town before I do," I replied.

"I am going into town to pick up boxes for the move. I'll pick up a replacement faucet," Esme said.

"Thanks, mom, I'll install it when you return," I said. "Oh you may want to purchase a few door knobs as well."

Rosalie left to check on Emmett, while the rest of us narrowed down our moving options.

"The South and North East are out. Carlisle has lived in the North East within the last sixty years. There would still be people who might recognize him. Maria is in the south and we want to avoid the southern armies, anyway," Edward said.

"The Midwest is out as well. I've already lived in Columbus, Chicago and St. Paul in this half of the century," Carlisle added.

"Well that doesn't leave us many options. Sounds like we either head to Canada or the Pacific North West." I said.

"The Pacific North West sounds like a good option. It rains often in Washington State, and we could also be out during the day time more often," Carlisle reasoned.

'_That would be kind of nice.'_ I thought. I was getting use to being out during the day. It would be nice to be almost normal. An eternity of nights wears on you after awhile.

"Jazz and I are all for it," Edward answered for us.

"I'll need you to help me build a green house, Jasper," Esme said.

"I'd be happy to help," I replied. I had always been good working with my hands. It also provided time for Esme and me to bond. Esme loved to redesign or add onto the house. We had done a lot of work on the house in Rochester together. The same could be said about our home here and the clinic.

"Where are we moving to?" Rosalie asked when she returned. She and Emmett enter Carlisle's study together. Emmett was dressed in the clothes that Esme purchased for him. He wore a dark blue button-down shirt with black slacks with a pair of black shoes.

I noticed that he stuck close to Rosalie. They sat down on the sofa opposite Edward and me. Esme was sitting beside Edward, and Carlisle in his normal spot at his desk.

"We were discussing moving to the Pacific North West, specifically Washington State. It rains there often, and would allow us to be out more often during the day," Carlisle answered.

"That would be nice. Are you ok with going to Washington, Emmett?" Rosalie asked.

"I guess so. I mean . . . I've never been anywhere outside of the Appalachia area before. Will there be grizzly bears there?" Emmett asked.

Edward chuckled lightly, and I gave him a hard look. _'Are you crazy? You're going to set him off if he thinks your laughing at him.'_

"Yes Emmett there will be plenty of grizzly bears. I see that you have found a taste for them." Edward answered. He totally ignored my thoughts.

Emmett who had been annoyed just a moment ago was grinning broadly now. "The taste was good, but it's also fun to get back at them for nearly killing me."

"I'll make a few calls to see if I can find work at a hospital somewhere in Washington." Carlisle said.

Carlisle started telling Emmett a bit about being a vampire, and answering questions. I worked on keeping Emmett calm, and explaining what he could expect as a newborn. We then told Emmett our stories.

I had to work overtime on keeping Emmett calm during Rosalie's story. I couldn't blame him for wanting to kill Royce and his friends, but Rosalie had already taken care of them. Rosalie told Emmett why she saved him from the bear, and after a bit of encouragement from Edward and me she told him why she asked Carlisle to save him.

"I asked Carlisle to change you, even thought I don't like this life, because I love you," Rosalie whispered.

Emmett still heard her loud and clear. It was quiet for a second, and then Emmett was standing and had Rosalie in his arms. He was smiling broadly as he swung her around in his arms. "May I kiss you, Rose?" Emmett asked.

I'm sure if Rosalie had been human she would have blushed. She only nodded slowly, and Emmett pressed his lips against Rosalie. Their kiss was quite intimate and we all looked away to give them a moment of privacy.

Esme returned at this moment and gasped when she walked in on the two of them kissing. "Oh my…"

Rosalie and Emmett finally pulled apart, and we all chuckled. Esme flitted over to Rosalie's side and gave her a hug. "I'm so happy for you, Rosalie."

"Thanks mom." Rosalie smiled.

We eventually broke off to our favorite past-times for the rest of the day.


	12. Treaty

**Chapter 12: Treaty**

It had taken Carlisle and Edward nearly six months to find a replacement doctor for the Cullen Clinic. With the people of Appalachia taken care of by a new doctor we made our move to Hoquiam, Washington.

We had shipped most of our belongings to the new house. The family with the exception of Edward and I had gone directly to the new home. We had taken a few small detours through the Midwest in the hopes of finding Peter. Sadly we had no luck in finding him or any trace of him.

When we reunited with the family, a few weeks later they had already setup the new home. Emmett had helped Esme with the renovations.

Upon entering the house you first noticed the grand staircase that was position in the center of the large sitting room. On the left side of the room Edward's grand piano sat on a slightly raised platform, it over looked the North Bay out a wall of windows. The windows had been custom designed by Esme and built by Emmett. They would allow the setting sun to shine into the large room. On the right side of the room were several sofas and chairs. The television and radio were also in this part of the room.

Behind the grand staircase was a hallway on either side that led to the kitchen and dinning room. There was also a bathroom, laundry room and small foyer that lead out to the back yard. The staircase climbed a dozen steps before it reached a landing and split into two staircases, one going east and the other going west. The back wall of the landing consisted of custom built in wall bookcase. The bookcase were filled with most of our books. There was also a ladder that gave access to the books that reached the ceiling of the second floor.

The entire second floor was open to the foyer below. From the east side balcony you could see the left of the downstairs sitting room and the windows out on the North Bay. This side of the second floor is where Carlisle's study and the game room were located.

The west side of the second floor looked down into the right side of the sitting room. This side of the house held Rosalie's bedroom, Edward and my bedroom with my study sat between the two rooms. At the front of the house, opposite the bookcase of the grand staircase, was another set of stairs. They rose a half steps from each side and met at a landing, then went up another staircase to the third floor.

The third floor was not opened to the floors below. This floor consisted of Carlisle and Esme's bedroom, Esme's work room and Emmett's room, those rooms over looked the North Bay as well. The east side of the third floor consisted of storage.

This house was considerably larger then the home we had in Appalachia. While the home there had been 'cozy', we were constantly 'tripping' over each other.

Esme had not constructed her green house yet. She was waiting for me to arrive and help with that project. There was also the project of converting an outbuilding into a garage for all the cars. We still only had the three cars, but we were building the garage large enough to accommodate more cars.

Esme had greeted Edward and me the moment we had arrived, and then proceed to give us a tour of the new house. I promised Esme that I would help her with the greenhouse after Edward and I had unpacked our belongings.

Edward took care of unpacking the bedroom items, and putting together the bed. I worked on my study. I started with my books. They were my most prized possessions. My collection was sorted by fiction, nonfiction, biography, and reference material. It was further sorted by subject matter and then finally by Author's last name. This system worked for me, but I was sure some librarian would probably have a problem with it.

I was halfway through unpacking my books when Rosalie knocked on my door. "Come in, Rosalie."

"Do you have a minute, Jasper?" Rosalie asked.

"Of course, what's on your mind?" I replied.

"We all went hunting up near Forks last week. Nothing bad happened, but I had this odd feeling of being watched. There was also this horrid smell like wet dog, only it was much stronger," Rosalie said.

My mind muddled over what Rosalie had said, but I came up with blank. My mind told me it was nothing to worry about, but my instincts told me something was wrong. I'd always been told to go with my instincts. Animals always trusted their instincts, while humans tended to trust their minds.

"Do you remember anything else?" I asked.

Edward entered the room at this point having overheard our vocal conversation and thoughts. He concentrated on what Rosalie was remembering.

"That's all I remember. Emmett noticed the smell too," Rosalie added.

I looked over at Edward and he just shrugged. "I don't know what it could be, but I think we should be cautious."

"I agree. Let's be sure that we all go hunting together until we figure this out," I said.

"I'll pass that along to Carlisle and Esme. Emmett wants to go hunting tonight. It's been a week for him, and he's feeling it1,." Rosalie said.

"Ask Carlisle and Esme to join us, and we can all go tonight. We can perhaps go to the same area and see if we can figure out what is going on up there," I added.

We returned to unpacking, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something just wasn't right with what Rosalie had told us. My first thought had been another vampire, but the smell didn't match up. Vampires have a pleasant smell to both humans and other vampires.

This mystery was really bothering me, but I continued to unpack. I was on my last box when something caught my eye. It was a dual picture frame, but instead of a picture inside it had a medal on one side and a letter on the other. _'This isn't mine, or is it?'_

"Look at it more carefully, but it is yours1,." Edward said from the bedroom.

I looked at the object in my hands again. That's when I realized that the medal within the frame was mine. I remembered tossing it aside when I had gone through the items that Michaela had given me.

"Esme found it. She cleaned it up and put it in a frame for you. She recognized what it was immediately and felt you should be able to display it properly," Edward said from the door leading between my study and the bedroom.

I looked at the object again, and finally recognized the medal from a vague fuzzy human memory. It was the "Southern Cross", the confederate Medal of Honor. What I did not understand was why I had it. I had not been awarded this medal from what I could remember.

"Read the letter." Edward said.

_March 5, 1863_

_Southern Cross Medal of Honor is hereby awarded posthumously to Major Jasper Monroe Whitlock IV for bravery and skill in preparation for the Battle of Galveston. The lives of hundreds of women, children and soldiers of the Confederate Army were saved because of the heroic efforts of Major Whitlock on the night before the battle._

_Sincerely,_

_Jefferson Davis_

_President of the Confederate States of America._

"I was just following orders and doing my job. I don't think I deserve a medal for that," I said. I placed the frame aside. There was no point in displaying something that I did not feel I had earned. There were many men who died fighting for what they believed in, they deserved that medal more then I did.

Edward left me to my thoughts and returned to the bedroom to finish unpacking. I gathered up the empty boxes and took them to the storage room on the third floor. The sun had set not long ago, and I knew Emmett would be anxious to go hunting.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked Edward as I entered the bedroom.

"All done here," Edward said as he finished making the bed.

We met the rest of the family by the back door. "I suggest we hunt first then we can try and figure out this mystery that Rosalie has uncovered1,." I said.

"I agree," Carlisle added.

We took off together and headed north toward Forks Washington. Emmett had told us there were a number of grizzly bears and mountain lions in the area. Emmett had been correct, and we came across the scent of several bears and a few mountain lions.

Edward and I tracked down a couple of mountain lions and quickly drained them. We had finished disposing of the corpses when Edward turned his attention to the northwest where Emmett and Rosalie were hunting.

"Something's wrong." Edward began.

"What?" I asked quickly.

"Rosalie thinks she's being followed and they've just come cross the scent. She's thinking it's much stronger and that there are at least two distinct scents," Edward replied.

"That's not good. I think we need to regroup. I'm getting a bad feeling," I said.

"I think we should go meet up with them now. Rosalie is feeding on a bear, and Emmett is thinking they are being followed. He's caught a shadow moving at the end of his sight," Edward added quickly.

"Let's make sure we pick Carlisle and Esme up along the way," I suggested.

Edward nodded and we quickly began heading toward Carlisle and Esme, who were hunting just north of us. They had also finished hunting when we came upon them.

"We need to go meet up with Rosalie and Emmett right now. Something doesn't feel right," I said.

Carlisle gave me one look and nodded immediately. "Let's go. I've also got a feeling that something is amiss out here."

We headed toward Rosalie and Emmett. About half way there Edward movements stiffened slightly. "We need to hurry they have three large wolves closing in on them,"

We all took off running as fast as possible. I was pushing myself to keep up with Edward.

We tore into the wooded area that Rosalie and Emmett were hunting. I spotted them a short distance ahead. Emmett was crouched in a fight stance with Rosalie a short distance behind him, and three large wolves move in on them.

Edward and I quickly traversed the short distance and took up positions beside Emmett. Both of us feel quickly into a crouch. The wolves changed tactics slightly and moved to come at us at slightly different angles. We adjusted our stance to keep Rosalie protected behind us.

Carlisle and Esme joined us seconds later. Rosalie grabbed Esme and held her close to her while Carlisle crouched down just behind Edward and me. The wolves stopped their advance immediately.

"These aren't normal wolves," Edward whispered only loud enough for Carlisle and me to hear.

'_I could have told you that, but I'm guessing there is more to your reasoning?'_ I asked in my thoughts.

"I can hear their thoughts. I think of themselves as werewolves," Edward whispered again.

"Not possible there is no full moon, and werewolves don't look like that," I replied in the same whispered tone.

"I know, but they are wolves and they also have intelligent thought," Edward added, again still whispering.

"What are they thinking?" Carlisle asked.

"They know what we are, and are concerned for the tribe. They think there are too many of us for them to take on, but they can't risk us getting to their tribe," Edward said.

"Do you mean a Native tribe?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes, it seems they are protectors of some kind for the Quileute tribe," Edward answered.

"Do you know if they would understand me if I spoke loud enough for them to hear me?" Carlisle asked.

"I think so, which is why I'm whispering," Edward said.

"Let see if we can end this stand off without a fight. Jasper, keep them calm if you can. Edward I want you to keep me apprised of their thoughts," Carlisle whispered.

We both nodded and watched as Carlisle slowly stood from his crouch. He raised his hands in a gesture of peace, and slowly stepped between Edward and me. "We mean you no harm, and we do not want to fight you," Carlisle spoke loud enough for the wolves to hear.

I could feel Esme worry as she watched Carlisle standing before the wolves. Rosalie was just as worried, but I could sense a determination from her. I was sure that if they hurt Carlisle that she'd be one of the first to make them pay.

The largest of the wolves, whose fur was russet colored turned his attention to Carlisle. Edward stood slowly and placed hand on Carlisle's left shoulder. He leaned in a whispered, "They don't trust you, but the leader wants to hear what you have to say."

"We are aware that you have had dealings with our kind in the past, but we are different. My family and I do not feed on humans," Carlisle gestured toward the corpse of the bear beside Rosalie. "We live off the blood of animals."

The russet wolf looked between the dead bear and Carlisle a few times then to the rest of the family.

"He's noticed that our eyes are different. He's telling his brothers that he is going to phase to his human form so he can speak with you," Edward whispered again.

The russet wolf back away slowly then stepped behind a tree. He emerged a moment later as a young Native male. He wore a pair of pants made fur and leather, and no shirt. He walked back and stood between the two wolves.

"My name is Ephraim Black. I am chief of the Quileute tribe."

"I am Dr. Carlisle Cullen, and this is my family." Carlisle replied.

"Doctor?" Ephraim said in disbelief.

"Yes. I've worked as a doctor for nearly a century." Carlisle said.

"How is that possible?" Ephraim asked.

"To answer your question I would need to tell you my story and how I was changed. If you wish to hear it, I will tell you my story, but before that I wish to offer a treaty between my family and your people," Carlisle said.

"What kind of treaty?" Ephraim asked cautiously.

"My family would stay off Quileute lands, in exchange we asked that your people do not reveal who we are to the humans. Our kind has strict rules on exposure. Humans must not know we exist," Carlisle said.

"How do I know that you have not deceived us? Perhaps you hunt humans away from here?" Ephraim replied.

"I give you my word that we do not hunt humans. It would be impossible for me to be a doctor if I did. We also do not allow others of our kind to hunt in our territory. We do this to protect ourselves from exposure, and because it allows us to connect with our humanity. None of us choose this life, and we have all worked hard to overcome our nature so that we can be more human," Carlisle said.

"I detect no deception in your words. I am willing to hear your story, and then I will decide on this treaty," Ephraim replied.

"Thank you." Carlisle said.

We all relaxed a bit. Emmet and I stood out of our crouches and I took up a place beside Carlisle. Emmett moved to stand with Rosalie and Esme.

"Let us sit and talk," Carlisle said.

Carlisle, Edward and I made the first move to sit. Ephraim sat down after we had, and the wolves sat down close beside him. The wolves keep their eyes on Edward and me.

"I was born sometime during the 1640s in London England. My father was an Anglican Preacher. He was also an intolerant man, and was quick to find demons were none existed. He was overly enthusiastic in his pursuit of the wicked," Carlisle began.

The wolves kept their vigilant watch over us while Ephraim listened intently to Carlisle's story.

"After my twenty-third birthday my father placed me in charge of the raids. I was not as quick to condemn the innocent like my father. I was more patience and eventually found a true coven of vampires hiding in the sewers."

Carlisle continued with his story and about his change. "I had hidden myself as far away from the humans as possible. I did not want to be a monster or kill anyone. I was growing weaker and I knew that I would not be able to resist if a human happened by my hiding place. Then one night I sprang from hiding place before I knew what I was doing. When I regained control of my mind and looked around me there was a large herd of deer, all of them dead."

Ephraim seemed very surprised but did not speak it aloud. "I decide then that I did not need to be a monster and that I could use my new abilities to help people instead of killing them. It has taken me over a century to learn the necessary control to work with humans as a doctor. Human blood has no effect on me," Carlisle said.

"What of your family? Does human blood affect them?" Ephraim asked.

"They are still new to this life. My son Edward, here, is the most controlled after me," Carlisle said as he gestured to Edward. "My family is still learning, but we are good at this life."

Ephraim sat and thought for a moment, then spoke. "I will agree to this treaty you propose, but I wish to add one other item to it."

"What would you like to add?" Carlisle asked.

"So long as you are in this area, you and your family are not to bite any humans, regardless of whether it is to change them or to feed," Ephraim stated firmly.

That part of the treaty concerned me. I touched Carlisle's shoulder and he turned to me. "I don't like that addition. If one of us slips, we'd be in breach of the treaty," I said.

Carlisle nodded then turned to Edward. I only made out a few words of what Edward said, but it sounds like they would not agree without this addition to the treaty. Carlisle was deep in thought for a moment. Our superior minds allowed us to process things at a much quicker pace then humans.

"I agree to your addition. My family will stay off your land, and we will not bite any human while we reside in this area. In exchange your tribe will keep our secret," Carlisle said.

"Agreed," Ephraim said.

Carlisle stood and extended his hand to Ephraim. Ephraim stood and after a moment shook Carlisle's hand.

After figuring out the boundary line on a map we parted ways. Edward and I were the last to back away from the meeting. After they were out of sight we turned and ran to catch up with the family. The journey back to Hoquiam was silent.

When we got back to the house, we all filed silently into the dinning room. We were going to have a family meeting.

"Well that ended better then it started," Carlisle said.

"We were lucky that Ephraim was willing to listen. His brothers do not agree with this treaty, but they have no choice except to follow it," Edward said.

"I don't like it. Staying off their land is easy enough, but we can't be sure they won't accidently expose us. There is also the risk of one of us slipping and causing a breech of the treaty," I said.

"I think it would be best if we moved on as quickly as possible," Rosalie added.

"I have to agree with Rosalie. It's too dangerous to stay here long. They are willing to keep the secret, but if we mess up they will look to take us out one by one if necessary," Edward added.

"We just got here and I can't leave the hospital just yet. We're going to need to tough it out for a few months. In the meantime we should look at moving again soon," Carlisle said.

"I think it might be best to move to New England instead of somewhere north in Canada. I know you've been there in the last sixty or so years, but if we are careful we can still find some place remote," Edward said.

"Let's look at New Hampshire. Perhaps some of you may want to attend University." Carlisle suggested.

"I'll start looking for houses in New Hampshire. Let's make sure that we hunt in groups of three or more, and be extra careful. I'll start dropping hints of a sick aunt in a month, and that will give us the excuse we need to leave a couple of months after that," Carlisle said.

We ended the meeting on that note. Edward and I headed up to our room for some alone time. I sat on our bed with my back propped up against the headboard with several pillows in between. Edward laid down on the bed with his head resting on my chest and his arms wrapped around me. I had my left arm wrapped around Edward's back and my right hand played with Edward's left.

Edward was humming a tune, as we just enjoy the feeling of holding each other. These were the moments I enjoyed the most. Our alone time was suddenly interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Come in," I said.

Emmett entered the room and quickly closed the door behind him. He had this intense look of concentration on his face.

"Interesting," Edward said. He must have been reading Emmett's thoughts.

"So how can we help you with what you're thinking about?" Edward asked.

"Well I'd need one or both of you to go with me to Jewelry store," Emmett said.

"I don't think any Jewelry store here will carry something that Rosalie would like. We'd best to go to Tiffany's & Co. in New York," Edward said.

Emmett frowned. "I'm not sure I can afford anything from there."

"I wouldn't worry about it. All you need to do is let Esme know what you want to buy and she'll make sure you have the money," Edward said.

Emmett frowned again. "I kind of wanted to buy her ring on my own."

Edward was silent for a moment. "Edward and I could lend you the money and you could pay us back," I suggested.

"I'll even charge you interest if that would make you feel better." Edward laughed.

Emmett thought about it for a moment, "Okay. Also, could we keep this between us. I don't want Rosalie finding out before I'm ready to propose."

"Of course, our lips are sealed," Edward said.

The following few weeks flew by quickly. The family hunted once a week as one large group. We had not crossed paths with the wolves while hunting since the day we made the treaty. However, Ephraim and his brothers had shown up at the house less then an hour ago.

One of their tribal members had gone missing. Ephraim did not believe that we had anything to do with the missing girl, but his brothers were not convinced. They had come to see if we had violated the treaty. Carlisle had assured them we had not, and that if we had our eyes would show. They would turn red immediately with the fresh human blood, and would take weeks to turn back to gold.

They relaxed a bit when they noticed our eyes were all gold. "I apologize for having jumped to conclusion, Carlisle," Ephraim said.

"It is fine, but let us return to the topic of your missing tribal member. When was she last seen?" Carlisle asked.

"A few hours ago near the beach. Quil, here, picked up the scent of a vampire. I knew it was not the scent of your family," Ephraim said, giving his brothers a stern look.

I assumed he had only come here to appease them. He had no doubt believed we were not involved. Edward who was standing beside me nodded his head just slightly. We had learned over the past few years to communicate silently through my thoughts and Edwards movements and emotions.

"Did you follow the scent?" I asked. It had only been a few hours ago, but there was a small chance she may still be alive.

"Yes, but they crossed the Sol Duc River at several locations and we lost the trail," Said the one named Quil.

"We can help you try to find her," I offered.

"No, absolutely not! They cannot be trusted, Ephraim!" Said the other brother.

"Silence Levi," Ephraim said in a demanding tone. "They have not harmed anyone in the area, and have offered us the help we need to track down Claire," Ephraim said.

"Edward, fill a backpack with medical supplies. You and Jasper will come with me," Carlisle said, and then turned to Emmett. "I need you to stay with Esme and Rosalie. Keep them safe."

Emmett nodded. I knew he'd want to go, but it was safer if he stayed here. Edward flitted away and was back within a minute with a backpack filled with medical supplies.

"You can't be seriously considering letting them track Claire," Levi said.

"That is exactly what I intend to do. We might be able to find her before it is too late with their help. If she is hurt, perhaps Dr. Cullen will be able to help," Ephraim said. His voice left no room for argument.

We all headed out and the wolves disappeared into the forest for a moment to phase. Ephraim appeared a moment later and we followed after him and his brothers. It took us thirty minutes to reach the scent trail left by the vampire and Claire.

I crouched down by the river bank and examined the scent trail. There were very light foot prints in the soil. "We're dealing with a male. The scent trail is not old, and the human female was still alive at this point," I said.

"We'll need to cross the river," Edward said.

"Leap together," I said. "On three, one, two, three," we all leaped across together. The wolves watched in amazement, but quickly followed us as they crossed the river. I picked up the scent trail again.

"He's heading north," I said.

We headed north running as quickly as we could without losing the trail. We crossed the river four more times before the trailed turned of toward the northwest. The only thing in that direction was the Pacific Ocean.

"The scent is stronger here," Carlisle observed after another few miles. We entered a clearing that was backed by a sheer cliff wall directly ahead of us. The scent was fresh and very strong here.

"Be careful. I don't like this at all," I said.

We spotted the human female near the cliff face in the dark shadows. I did not see the vampire, but I knew he was close. I could sense his emotions. He had plans for the human female. He wanted her for more then just her blood.

I turned to Carlisle and explained what I was reading from the vampire who was in some unknown locations near the human female. Carlisle turned to Ephraim speaking in a whisper, the coordinated their plan.

The wolves would deal with the vampire. It was our goal to get to the human female and get her to safety. We moved off to the right to come around behind the human. The wolves entered the clearing to draw the vampire's attention. It took several minutes but it worked. The male vampire dropped down from the cliff above. He had feed recently, and his eyes were bright red.

He had not noticed us nearby, and his attention was focused solely on the wolves. As soon as the Wolves attacked, we moved in to rescue the human.

Edward picked her up since he was the fastest runner. "Stay calm. I'm not going to hurt you. We're here to help."

I used my power to keep her calm. Edward took off running, Carlisle and I followed soon after. We could hear the vampire trying to fight off the wolves. When the sound was all but faded away we stopped.

Edward placed the young woman down beside the river. Carlisle came over to examine her.

"She has a broken arm and several bruises," Edward said.

"Jasper, find me four small thin branches I can use for a splint," Carlisle said.

I found a tree with several small branches that would work. I broke off the branches easily and returned to Carlisle.

Carlisle was finished wrapping her arm when the wolves returned. Ephraim phased and came quickly to Carlisle said.

"How is she?" He asked quickly.

"Her arm is broken, and will need to be placed in a plaster cast. You will need to take her to a hospital for that. I've treated her bruises, and given her medication for the pain." Carlisle said, and then handed a small bottle to Ephraim.

"What is this?" Ephraim asked.

"More pain medication. Give her one or two tablets when the current medication wears off." Carlisle said.

"Did you burn the pieces?" I asked Ephraim.

"Yes," He replied.

"Good, don't need this guy coming back to cause more problems."

"Thank Dr. Cullen. We may not trust each other, but you have proven to be a man of your word," Ephraim said.

"I am happy that my family and I were able to help you. If you are unable to find a doctor at the hospital in Forks to help Claire, please bring her to Hoquiam and I will treat her for you," Carlisle replied.

"Thank you, again," Ephraim said. He picked up Claire and then headed off followed closely by the Wolves.

"Let's head home," Carlisle said.


	13. The Past, Present & Future

**Chapter 13: The Past, Present & Future**

The past few years have been rather calm, and newborn free. We left Hoquiam a little over a year ago. We had stayed longer then we had planned, mainly because our relationship with the Quileutes Wolves had improved slightly.

We moved to Hanover, New Hampshire, with the intentions that Rosalie, Edward and I would attend Dartmouth University. Emmett had decided not to attend this time round. He stayed at home and took correspondence courses.

Edward and I were studying Literature and Music. Rosalie was majoring in biology with the plans to attend medical school. Edward and I shared all our classes, which I found comforting. At least I wouldn't have to be afraid of doing something inexcusable.

I thought I was doing well with my control, but going to university proved to be harder then I had expected. I was not one to back down from challenges, but there were days that I dreaded going to class.

Another significant change was Emmett proposing to Rosalie. Edward, Emmett and I all spent several torturous hours in Tiffany's & Co. looking for the perfect ring. That had proven to be an quite the adventure.

"_Emmett you want to find an engagement ring that is original and grand," Edward reminded._

_Emmett had been looking at the cheaper rings because he didn't want to borrow too much money from Edward. The only problem with that was that Emmett would end up insulting Rosalie._

"_I can't afford something that expensive," Emmett whispered._

"_Emmett, you cannot afford not to buy something that expensive. You know that you'll offend Rosalie if you don't get her something original. Besides, I already told you I'd loan you the money," Edward replied._

_Emmett's shoulder slumped as he knew that Edward was right. Rosalie would be totally insulted if Emmett didn't get her something grand. None of us wanted to deal with a disappointed Rosalie. I directed Emmett over to the most expensive rings in the store._

_Edward had designed and purchased rings for us about a year ago that we wore to show our commitment to each other. Marriage was not an option for us, but we wanted something to show our bond._

_Our rings were similar, but unique. Both rings were platinum bands with three one-carat diamonds set in the band. The differences were the addition of two stones on each ring that represented the human color of our mate's eyes. I had two small emerald stones in my band, and Edward had two sapphires. They were set on either end of the diamonds._

_Emmett and I started looking over the selection of rings, but he was constantly finding something off about the rings available._

"_What about that one?" I said pointing out a princess cut solitaire. The band was a simple gold, but it drew attention to the large stone._

"_No, the band is not right," Emmett replied._

_I pointed out a couple of others, but there was something wrong with each of those as well. Edward finally came over and asked the salesman if they had a reserve collection. They did and he left to retrieve it._

_We continued to look over the rings in the case as we waited for the salesman to return. Nothing was catching Emmett's eye, and to be totally honest all rings looked very generic._

"_That one," Emmett said as soon as the salesman had set down the small tray._

_Emmett had pointed out a very nice ring. It was a platinum band with a three-carat princess cut diamond, and on either side of the center stone were three smaller diamonds set within the band. The band wrapped around the diamonds, and upon further examination you could see light pink tones coming from the diamonds in the band. The center stone was flawless, and very pretty._

_The three additional half carat stones on each side were set in a semicircle with the band wrapping around each stone before wrapping around the center stone. It was certainly unique and had a total of six carats in diamonds. It was certainly a one of a kind ring. Rosalie would definitely approve of this one._

_Emmett almost changed his mind when he heard the cost, but Edward made him buy it. "Rosalie will love the ring and it'll make her happy. You want her to be happy don't you?"_

_It was a low blow by Edward, but it worked. Emmett caved and let Edward loan him the money needed to buy the ring. It wouldn't take long for Emmett to pay Edward back._

Carlisle and Edward had started giving each member of the family a small investment after their first birthday as a vampire. They had done the same for me after I had been with the family a year. I had tried to refuse but Edward wouldn't let me. Most of my money currently sat in investments mostly untouched. Edward was already sharing all his money with me, and I had tried several times to get him to just combine the funds without success.

Rosalie, Esme and Emmett also had their own investments all managed by Edward, who was an investment genius. We did not flaunt our wealth like some humans did, but we did not lack for anything either.

_Rosalie was certainly happy about the ring. Emmett had spent several days after the purchase working up the nerve to ask Rosalie to marry him. Edward and I knew she would say yes, but Emmett was so nervous about the whole thing that it was nearly comical. I avoided Emmett for those few days to keep from losing my mind._

_Emmett had finally asked Rosalie on probably the best day of the year. It was the middle of June a year ago, and we were all gathered on the side porch watching the sunrise. We had just moved to Hanover a month prior. Emmett had purchased two dozen roses the night before. He stepped out onto the porch carrying the roses. "I got these for you."_

_You could hear the nervousness in his voice, but I'm sure the others thought little of it. As far as I knew only Edward and I were aware of Emmett's plans to ask Rosalie to marry him. Rosalie stood and walked over to Emmett._

"_Thank you." Rosalie smiled. Roses were still one of Rosalie's favorite flowers._

_Emmett handed her the flowers, and while Rosalie closed her eyes savoring their scent he got down on one knee. Esme gasped causing Rosalie to open her eyes and see Emmett kneeling before her with the engagement ring._

"_I remember the day an angel rescued me from certain death and gave me a new life. I remember how that angel told me that she loved me and wanted to be with me. I could barely believe how lucky I had been. My angel was the most beautiful creature I have ever laid my eyes upon," Emmett paused, "You are my angel, Rosalie, and I love you so very much. Would you please do me the honor of being my wife?"_

_I feel Rosalie's overwhelming joy, had she been human she most certainly would be crying tears of joy. It took a moment for her to find her voice, and I could feel Emmett's anxiety rising by the millisecond._

"_Yes!" Rosalie answered._

_Emmett wasted no time placing the ring upon her finger. When he stood, she threw her arms around him and they shared a passionate kiss. The rest of us looked away to give them a moment of privacy._

Esme and Rosalie had spent weeks looking for just the perfect dress. Even though the ceremony would be small. It would be a wedding that Rosalie would never forget. Carlisle had walked Rosalie down the aisle, and I had stood by Emmett's side. Edward had gotten out of being the best man by offering to play the piano for the ceremony.

Emmett and Rosalie's honeymoon was a gift from all of us. It was a four-week vacation in Paris. It had been so quiet around the house while they were away. Emmett and Rosalie had not allowed their relationship to progress to a physical relationship until after the wedding. They did kiss and touch a lot, but they had never gone beyond that.

However, when the _happy couple_ returned the peace and quiet had ended. I'm not sure who has had it worse, Edward or me. Edward hears there every thought, but I feel their every emotion. Those emotions are heavily tilted toward lust and arousal. I felt like I was walking around with a permanent erection when they were around.

'_The happy couple are getting on my nerves__.'_ I thought. The lust coming from them was driving me crazy. I'd already bent Edward over my desk twice today because of it. They'd been going at it for nearly six hours. _'How much longer were they going to keep this up?'_

"Let's get out of here." Edward said from the door way.

I was half tempted to just bend Edward over my desk again. My cock was so hard it was nearly painful. Edward waved the tube of lube before putting it in his pocket. I stood immediately and was by Edward's side in the blink of an eye.

"Let's just do it here," I growled.

"I need a break from their thoughts. Let's go to the meadow," Edward replied.

I simply nodded and grabbed Edward's hand, and we left the house to visit our meadow. Our meadow was a short distance from the house. It was a beautiful clearing in the surrounding forest. The wild flowers gave it a wonderful calming effect. It was just what I needed right now.

It only took us a few short minutes to reach our destination. Edward spread out a large blanket he had picked up on our way out the door. I pushed Edward down onto the blanket, and then lay down on top of him. We kissed passionately and touched every area of exposed skin. The feel of his hands on me set my body ablaze with desire for him.

I slid off of Edward and lay pressed against him on my side, and rested my head on his chest. Edward wrapped his arms around me and we rested in comfortable peace. It was nice not to be bombarded by endless lust from Emmett and Rosalie. I loved my brother and sister, but ever since they got married their physical relationship put burlesque houses to shame.

We both lay with our eyes closed. We were just enjoying the feel of embracing each other. Edward and I enjoyed a relationship that was more then just physical. We had an emotional connection. We seemed to be so clued in on what the other is feeling and thinking. We knew just what the other needed and how to respond to each other.

Just as I was enjoying the calm and lust free atmosphere of our meadow Edward's emotions changed suddenly. "Edward?"

I moved off of Edward as he sat up. "What the hell?" Edward said.

"Edward? What's going on?" I asked alarmed.

"Someone is calling my name in their thoughts, but I don't know the voice," Edward said.

I looked at Edward with concern. I really did not like the sound of this at all. Very few people know about Edward's gift, and most of those lived in the same house as us. Garrett was the only other vampire outside of our family that new of his ability. My sister Michaela was the only human who had figured out Edward's gift. I really did not like this, at all.

"She's asking for our help, but it's frantic, and I'm having a hard time making out what's going on," Edward continued.

I felt a very strong wave of fear and determination moving quickly toward us. I sat up and looked to Edward for an explanation, but I knew he was just as confused about what was happening as me.

"She'll be here in less then a minute. I need you to calm her down so I can get her to show me what is going on," Edward said.

"Okay," I replied.

We stared anxiously into the forest toward the direction of the thoughts he was hearing, and the emotions I was reading came from. What burst through the edge of the meadow was a shock to us.

There before us stood a pixie like female vampire. She was barely five feet tall, and had short spike black hair. That, however, was not the most shocking thing about her. Her eyes were golden. Outside of my family I knew of no other vampires that hunted as we did. That would have to wait for a later discussion; there was a more pressing issues to deal with first.

Her emotions were still very frantic, and we need to calm her down to get the information necessary to make sense of what was going on. I sent her a strong wave of calm, which seemed to help.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"My name is Alice. Please I need your help. They are going to kill my mate if you don't help."

"You obviously know I can read your mind. Can you slow down and show me everything again?" Edward asked.

Alice took a deep breath and I watched as Edward sifted through the thoughts passing in her head. I had numerous questions I wanted to ask Alice, but I knew we need to figure out what had her all in a panic.

After less then fifteen second Edward's eyes widen suddenly. Edward slowly looked at me before speaking. "They were coming to meet us, but they came across two other vampires. The other vampires attacked. Alice's mate took them both on and told Alice to run. Her mate is Peter," Edward said.

'_Peter? Wait, Peter as in Peter my great-nephew?_' I thought as I made the connection.

"Yes," Edward replied.

I was on my feet before the thought even crossed my mind. I knew Peter was a good fighter, but even he was no match for two vampires for too long. "Where is he?" I asked quickly.

"This way," Edward said as he jumped to his feet and started running. I was hot on his heels and knew that Alice was running behind us. _'What did Alice tell you about the vampires attacking him?' _I asked in my thoughts.

"One male, one female; I am almost certain it is James & Victoria. The images of them match those that I've seen in Garrett's memories," Edward replied as we ran.

'_I will take James, and you take Victoria. No need to kill them unless Peter is hurt, or they intend to fight us. We need to restrain them and find out what they are doing in this area. Wait for me to make the first move,'_ I instructed via my thoughts.

Edward nodded beside me, and I knew we were nearing the area as I could feel the emotions of three other vampires. One of them was starting to feel fatigue, and I knew this had to be Peter. Fighting off two vampires is a chore, and not something to take lightly.

The three vampires are completely unaware of our approach. Edward and I reach the wooded area where I can clearly see Peter trying to fend off the attackers. One was a blond male with long hair. The other is a red-haired female. Their backs were facing Edward and I. I show Edward in my mind how I want him to restrain Victoria.

As James & Victoria move in on a tired Peter I make my move. Edward and I leapt from our position and land direction behind our targets. When they realize we were there it was too late as Edward and I already have them in a restraining hold.

Edward landed and grabbed Victoria's arms pulling them back behind her and kicking her feet out from under her. He placed his knee in the middle of her lower back, and he's pulling her back into it. I have James in a similar hold, but with his arms twisted upward so that I can dislocate his shoulders if needed. I could also rip off his arms if I pushed hard enough.

"Jasper?" Peter said shocked.

"You'd had best release me now or you'll pay with your life," James growled.

"You talk tough for someone who is at a clear disadvantage. I also find it funny that you think you stand a chance against me," I replied to James before greeting Peter. "Hello Peter."

"I'm surprised to find you here, but it is a very pleasant surprise," Peter said, and then turned to James. "You really shouldn't piss off the deadliest vampire on the planet."

James laughed, but it was cut short when I pushed his arms up. "I've killed thousands of vampires, and you would just be another number."

"James, shut the hell up. This won't end well for us if you run your mouth," Victoria said. She was very agitated, and terrified. James on the other hand was cocky and angry.

'_Hmm . . . no love loss there.'_ I thought.

"What are you doing in this area?" I asked.

James and Victoria reminded silent. Alice picked that moment to go stand beside Peter, who quickly pulled her into a tight embrace. Peter kept his eyes on James and Victoria as he embraced Alice.

"So the little bitch went to get help," James nearly growled.

'_Big mistake asshole.'_ I thought. I shoved his arms up and dislocated his right shoulder causing James to scream in pain. It wasn't enough to rip off his arm, but enough to cause him severe pain.

"You will not address a lady with that language in my presence again, or you will lose body parts," I growled. "Now, answer my questions if you want to leave here in one piece; or don't. It really doesn't matter to me how many pieces you leave here in."

"We were just passing through," Victoria said.

"Why did you attack Peter and his mate?" I asked.

James said nothing, but I could see that Edward was getting the full run down as his eyes narrowed. "Alice, where are you from?" Edward asked.

"Mississippi," Alice answered curiously.

"You didn't finish the job the first time so you thought you'd finish it now?" Edward growled at James.

I suddenly realized that the rumor we had heard from Garrett was true, and Alice was the girl who had been turned, and whose sire had been killed. How she had not ended up feral was still a mystery, but that could be solved later.

Peter and Alice were both confused by this exchange. "We heard a rumor a few years ago about a sadistic tracker, who killed off another vampire because he had changed a human female. The tracker took it as a challenge to kill the human female, but his actions were thwarted. In revenge he killed the vampire, and left the changing female to expose our kind and eventually be killed by the Volturi for doing so," I explained.

"You wouldn't happen to know anything about that now would you, James?" Edward said.

"Go to hell," James replied.

"Keep talking like that and you'll end up there first." I replied menacingly, and then dislocated his left shoulder.

James let out another scream, "Next time you give a smart remark I start ripping off body parts."

"James, Shut the hell up before you get us killed," Victoria growled.

"You should really listen to your girlfriend, she seems to be smarter then you," Edward said.

Peter and Alice gave each other a curious look, and then Peter's eyes narrowed. "You killed her sire then left her to die? " Peter growled.

I sent Peter a wave of calm. I didn't need him ripping James to pieces just yet. I wanted more information out of him before I decided what to do with him.

"Thanks to you I have no memory of my past or any knowledge of who I am; only a name that may or may not be mine. Tell me what you know," Alice demanded.

James stayed silent again. "We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way. Tell the lady what she wants to know, and I may let you go free. Stay silent and I start ripping off and burning body parts until you decide to cooperate," I growled.

"Just tell her what she wants to know James. He's not joking around. This won't end well for us if you keep up this attitude," Victoria said.

'_Smart girl indeed,'_ I thought_. 'How the hell did she get mixed up with this loser?'_

"Fine," James growled. "Your name is Mary Alice Brandon. You are from Biloxi Mississippi. The vampire who sired you was named Joshua. He was working at the asylum you were locked up in. This all happened in 1921,"

"Anything else?" Alice asked.

"No. I don't make it a habit to learn anything about my prey," James spat.

"Are you really going to let him go, Jasper?" Peter asked.

"Yes, that's the deal we made," I replied, then turned my attention to James and Victoria. "There are conditions to letting you go."

"Fuck you," James said.

"No, fuck you," I growled and pushed hard on his left shoulder, which caused it to start pulling away from the joint. A little more pressure and his arm would come off. James cried out in pain yet again.

"You're either a masochist or stupid," Peter said.

'_I vote for stupid.' _I thought. I could feel Edward's amusement at my thoughts.

"Obviously stupid, we've determined the female has the brains between the two of them," Edward laughed.

"The two of you are to keep your distance from my coven. There are eight of us, and if you cross into our territory again I will not hesitate to destroy you. You are also not to hunt in this area. I'd also advise against challenging my coven because you will regret it. We have very powerful friends, and I will destroy you if you come near us again," I growled.

"We'll leave immediately. We haven't hunted here and we won't," Victoria said.

"See to it that you don't, or I will hunt you down," I said.

I knew she had little say in what they did. I wasn't going to take her word. James finally spoke. "Fine, we'll leave."

I looked at Edward, _'Are they going to follow what I said?'_ I asked in my thoughts. Edward moved his eyes up then down, confirming that they would not cause us further problems.

I lifted James to his feet, and then pushed him forward as I released him. He adjusted his shoulders and sunk into a crouch. Edward released Victoria and she quickly flitted to James's side. "Come, James, this isn't a fight we can win."

James reluctantly moved away with Victoria. After a moment they were gone, and we all relaxed. I turned to Peter, and felt relief that he was alive. "I have been looking for you for the past several years."

"Really? So have we. Well we were looking for the Cullens, but finding you is a surprise," Peter replied.

"I'm Edward Cullen. Jazz and I have been looking all over the north half of the country for you," Edward said.

Peter's eyes went wide for a moment as he looked between Edward and me. "What?" I asked.

"You're Edward's mate?" Peter asked.

"How the hell do you know that?" I asked.

Peter looked over at Alice, and I also turned my attention to her. It was Edward who broke the prolonged silence.

"She can see the future, or at least a possible future. Now her thoughts from earlier make perfect sense. You were showing me the possible outcomes of this fight," Edward said.

"That still doesn't explain how Peter knows I'm your mate," I said.

"Actually it does. You've seen us in your visions?" Edward said. It was meant as a statement but came off as a question.

"Yes. There is a lot to explain, but perhaps it would be best to explain everything with Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie and Emmett present." Alice said.

"That's creepy, and going to be highly annoying," I sighed.

"Tell me about it," Peter replied.

Alice pouted, and it seemed to have an effect on Peter. "I was only kidding. I'm sorry,"

'_Oh, that boy is whipped.'_ I thought. Edward chuckled, and I couldn't help but laugh as well.

Alice smiled, "Let's go. I can't wait to meet everyone," She was a bouncing ball of joy and excitement.

Edward and I lead the way to our home. I had taken the time during our brief conversation to notice that Peter also had golden eyes. I made a note to ask about this when sat down to talk. I had so many questions running through my head that I was sure Edward was getting dizzy listening to all my thoughts.

Edward chuckled beside me. "Not yet, but if you keep it up, I might."

We reached the house, and were greeted by Carlisle and Emmett on the front porch. Both of them were tense, but relaxed instantly when they saw Edward and me.

'_Well looks like the __happy couple__ have decided to finally take a break.'_ I thought.

"Carlisle, it's a pleasure to finally meet you," Alice said as she ran right up to Carlisle and hugged him.

"Alice!" Peter said in a stern voice.

"Oh relax, Peter, nothing was going to happen." Alice replied with annoyance, after stepping back from the hug.

Carlisle looked amused as he watched the scene unfold before him. Carlisle then took a closer look at Peter, and I felt his recognition. "Well this is a rather unexpected surprise. Yet, I get the feeling it's a bit more interesting and complicated then it appears."

"And weird," Edward added.

"Carlisle, this is Alice and Peter," I said. In my head I added, _'my great-nephew'._

I had no idea if Peter knows of our family relation, but I knew it would be something that had to be discussed today. I wasn't looking forward to that conversation. At the knowledge of my thoughts I felt Edward slip his left hand into my right and curl his fingers into mine. He gave me a gentle squeeze of reassurance.

"Let's go in, it seems we have lots to talk about," Carlisle said.

Carlisle called out to Esme and Rosalie, and they soon joined us in the living room. We all took a seat on the various sofas and chairs. "Now where should we start?"

"Alice?" Edward said. He was looking at Alice and not Carlisle. I figured that meant he wanted to know where Alice thought we should start based on a vision.

"It doesn't exactly work that way, but if it is okay with everyone I would like to start," Alice said.

Carlisle nodded and gestures for Alice to continue. I felt his confusion at Alice's statement, but he must have figured it would be answered shortly. I snuggled into Edward, trying to get comfortable. Edward wraps his right arm around me and we relax into each other.

"I have no recollection of my human life. My memories of that time are mostly black or dark shadows. I remember waking up to this life, but nothing before it. I learned only today that my sire was killed, and that I was locked up in an asylum," Alice said. I could feel the sadness in her emotions.

"You don't remember anything of your human life? Not even faded memories?" Asked Rosalie astonished.

"Nothing, my first memories are of waking up then my visions began," Alice replied.

"Visions?" Rosalie questioned.

"At first I did not know what they were, but I soon figured out that they were visions of the future. My visions are based on decisions, so they are only as accurate as the decision a person makes. My first visions were of Carlisle and Edward," Alice said.

"You had visions of Edward and me?" Carlisle asked surprised.

"Yes. It was how I learned what I was and how to hunt. I tried very hard to stick to just animals, but I slipped up a lot. It took me a few years to master the control I need to be around humans. It's much easier now then it had been. I have not slipped in the past five years," Alice smiled proudly.

I noticed Peter squirm a little at that, and figured he must still be adjusting to this new diet. I could relate, except that I had not slipped yet. I thanked God for every day that passed that I am able to maintain my control.

"It is understandable to slip. We are after all fighting our very nature," Carlisle replied. This was very much something we'd come to expect from Carlisle. He always included himself when talking about slipping up and lack of control.

Peter relaxed a bit at those words. I was quite certain I knew what was going through his head, even without Edward's gift. I remember being his in place a few years ago thinking that if I slipped up I'd be sent packing.

"I've thought of all of you as my family for as long as I could remember. I tried to find you at first, but had no luck. After a couple years I started getting visions of Peter. I knew that he was my future, and I also started getting visions of us becoming part of your family," Alice continued.

I felt Rosalie's annoyance, and gave her an angry glare. I liked Rosalie, but sometimes she can be so self-centered. Rosalie looked away without a word. I thought I felt her emotions relax, but they were still annoyed. Perhaps someone else was feeling some unease? No one else noticed the exchanged between Rosalie and I, except maybe Edward.

"Peter finally showed up in Albany, New York in 1935. We started searching for all of you almost immediately, but my visions were all messed up. I thought at times I was going crazy because it was as if you all disappeared for a while. I finally got a firm vision about a week ago," Alice said.

"Everything was going great, and Alice has been extremely excited about finally meeting all of you. Unfortunately we ran across James and Victoria only a few miles from here," Peter said.

Alice filled the others in on what happened when they encountered James and Victoria. It seemed James recognized Alice, and was upset that she wasn't dead. He thought he would finish the job, but hadn't counted on Peter's fighting skills. He also did not expect them to have allies so close by.

Edward finished tell everyone how the fight unfolded the only way he could. I was surprised to feel shock coming from Peter. He was there the whole time so I didn't understand what would cause this shift in emotions, before I got the chance to bring it up Edward addressed it.

"Peter didn't know until now that I could read minds," Edward said curiously. We both looked at Alice for an explanation.

"Jazz doesn't like you telling anyone about your gift. I didn't think it was my place to bring it up," Alice explained.

"Jasper has a point about not sharing this information. Even your gift Alice would be highly coveted," Carlisle said. "Aro had me looking for these very gifts."

"Aro? You mean Aro Volturi?" Peter asked.

Carlisle nodded. "I was with the Volturi for several decades before going off on my own."

Carlisle knew better then anyone how coveted the gifts in this room would be not only to the Volturi, but to any coven wanting power.

As I looked around the room, I could easily count four prominent gifts. Edward's mind reading ability, Alice's visions of the future, Peter's ability just know when something was wrong, and my empathic abilities. I had to wonder if it was truly coincidence that brought all of us together.

Looking beyond the gifts there were also other abilities and traits. Emmett's strength, Rosalie's determination, Carlisle's compassion and wisdom, Edward's speed, and Esme's ability to love unconditionally were just a few.

Even during my time with Maria I had never seen this many powerful traits in one coven. Normally even a few of these traits would cause covens to fight constantly amongst each other. Yet here were six vampires, likely to be eight soon, who lived in peace. As my gaze fell upon Carlisle, I finally understood why we lived so calmly. We all strived to be like him. He was the goal that each of us had unknowingly set for ourselves. I'm sure that the fact we lived on animal blood vs. human blood gave us a closer connection with our humanity, but Carlisle was the main reason for our unity.

I also realized that keeping ourselves secret was also important. A few more specific gifts and this family, this coven, would be extremely powerful and that would bring unnecessary attention our way.

I returned my attention to our guests. Peter was giving us a brief explanation of his life after I left, and his motivations for leaving.

"Maria was becoming unbearable. She'd become more unpleasant to be around, and was constantly going on about finding you. She wants to make you pay for her troubles. She lost several areas in Mexico the first year. I barely managed to hold on to Houston during the past few years," Peter sighed. His emotions expressed his frustrations and pain of the ordeal.

"She must be livid now that you are gone too," I said.

Peter laughed. "I'm sure she is."

I figured now was as good a time as any to tell Peter that I knew he was my relation, and that I was sorry for what I had done. I felt Edward tight his hold on me in an effort to offer support.

"Peter, there is something I need to tell you," I started. "I did something unforgivable sixteen years ago."

I heard Peter sigh, and I looked up at him. "How did you find out?"

'_How did I find out what?'_ I thought. Then it hit me. Peter knew that I had learned that he was my great-nephew.

"It's a long story, but I found out when I found my sister Michaela," I said. "How long have you known?"

"I didn't know until several months after I had been changed. I'll admit you looked familiar at the time, but I didn't know why. It wasn't until the night Maria called you Major Whitlock that I made the connection. I remembered my grandfather had a brother who was a Major in the Civil War. I also remember that he had vanished without a trace, but the family believed he was still alive; especially Aunt Michaela," Peter said.

"Why didn't you ever say something?" I asked.

"I knew how you would have reacted. You'd have blamed yourself for changing me. I was also well aware of what Maria could do with that information if she ever learned the truth. It was just too dangerous to let you know," Peter replied.

"I'm sorry," I sighed, I felt relieved to get that off my chest, but my emotions were still pretty haywire.

"I'm not," Peter said. "I'll admit that I didn't particularly like the life Maria provided us with, but since I've met Alice everything has improved."

I could relate to that statement. Ever since I had met Edward my life had changed for the better. "You're not upset with me?" I asked.

"No. Well as long as you don't make me call you uncle Jasper," Peter laughed.

I laughed and much more relieved. "I suppose we could skip the uncle part."

"Seriously, Jasper, it's fine. I don't think I would have met Alice otherwise," Peter said.

"Well I guess that brings us to the question at hand. Are there any objections to Peter and Alice joining us?" Carlisle asked as he looked around the room. His gaze fell upon Edward and me first, neither of us objected.

"I need a new wrestling partner. Edward and Jasper cheat," Emmett said, and with that there were no objections from Rosalie or Emmett.

Esme turned to Alice and Peter, "Welcome to the family."

Alice squealed with joy, and I was bombarded by her joyful, happy and excited emotions.

"Is she always this excitable?" I asked Peter.

"You think this is excited? You should see when she goes shopping," Peter laughed.

Alice pouted, but quickly perked up when Rosalie suggested they plan a shopping trip to New York.

Esme quickly gathered Peter and Alice attention and started discussing plans to redesign Emmett's old room for them.


	14. Boys

**Chapter 14: The Boys**

The weekend was upon us, and the girls were all going to New York City for a day of shopping. They were leaving tonight so they could get an early start in the morning. Thankfully Edward, Emmett and I had planned a hunting trip for this weekend. We took pity on Peter and invited him to join us, he quickly agreed. We would be spending the weekend in the White Mountains National Forest.

Carlisle would be the only one staying home, because he was working at the hospital. On one hand I was envious of him because he would have a quiet and peaceful house all to himself. On the other I was looking forward to spending time with Edward and my brothers.

Rosalie, Alice and Esme were all saying their farewells to their mates. Esme also gave Emmett, Edward and me a kiss on the cheek and told us to behave ourselves. She told Peter to have fun, and gave him a hug. Peter was a bit uncomfortable by the gesture. I assumed it came from not being use to vampires behaving as a family versus a coven. It would take him some time to adjust, but he was putting his best foot forward.

As soon as the girls were gone, Carlisle retrieved his doctor's bag and left for the hospital. Emmett had packed up our gear for the weekend and we were ready to head out. Edward had made sure that Peter was not wearing any clothing that Alice liked, and that he had an extra change of clothes. There were two reasons why we would wear 'disposable' clothing. First hunting could at times be messy, and the second was that Emmett liked to wrestle.

The journey to the park was short. We found a secluded area to setup our campsite. I had Peter dig out a shallow fire pit while Emmett collected firewood. Edward and I setup two tents and other _props_ just incase a human happened along.

Edward left to run a perimeter check when Emmett returned with firewood. We had the firewood broken down into smaller logs, and branches when Edward returned. We finished up and went hunting.

Emmett picked up the scent of black bears, and went off with Peter to catch dinner. Edward and I kept tracking for prey until we came across the scent of a mountain lion. We agreed to share and quickly tracked it down.

The lion was hunting a rabbit, and was totally focused on its hunt. Edward and I leapt into the trees above the lion. We gave ourselves over to our instincts and dropped down beside the mountain lion. It was startled by our arrival and immediately growled at Edward. It tried to swipe him with its clawed paws but missed. I took the lion down with a quick movement, and snapped its neck as my teeth bit into it. Edward quickly joined me and we drained the large cat.

We disposed of the corpse, and eventually found the scent of a herd of deer. We took down a couple of the larger deer, and wrapped up our first hunt of the weekend.

"How are Peter and Alice settling in?" I asked. We had started walking back to camp.

"Alice has settled in fairly well. Her visions have prepared her for living with us. Esme had taken to her completely, and she to Esme. Alice doesn't remember her human parents, and for as long as she has been a vampire she has viewed Carlisle as her father. Esme filled the role of mother very easily, but she does that so well for all of us," Edward said.

"I'm a little concerned about Rosalie's reaction to them joining us."

"You don't need to worry about Rosalie. She was annoyed by what she thought was Alice's assumption that they'd be accepted without question. Alice never thought that, but you know Rosalie. She'll warm up to Alice soon. The shopping trip will help with that, and given a few months Rosalie will accept them," Edward assured.

"What about Peter? I'm really concerned about him fitting in, and to be totally honest I had not expected see him with golden eyes."

"Peter is having a harder time settling in. Alice showed me visions of him and Emmett becoming close. His thoughts are guarded, but he has let his worries slip. He is not use to the way we behave. I mean how we behave as a family and not as a coven. There seems to be a lot of unease in the few thoughts he's let slip, but I think that is just due to being outside of his comfort zone."

"I picked up on that from his emotions. I hope he'll settle in soon and be more comfortable around us."

"He's trying his best to make this work. I've gathered that this is something that Alice wants very much. I get the impression that he would do anything for Alice. There is also the added benefit that he knows you from before he joined the family. He looks up to you, and sees what you have accomplished. He wants that for himself from what I saw before he learned I could read minds. After that he pretty much closed me off," Edward explained.

"I'm not role model material. He should be looking up to Carlisle or you, not me." I replied.

Edward stopped walking. I stopped after a few more steps, and turned to face Edward. Edward was giving me this incredulous expression like _'I'd lost my mind'_.

"You have lost your mind."

I rolled my eyes. "Edward we both know that I don't have near the control that you and Carlisle possess. I'm just thankful I have enough control not to attack the humans in my classes."

Edward sighed. "Do you even know why he looks up to you?"

"Why does that matter?"

Edward groaned. "Sometimes I want to smack you to try and knock some sense into you."

I huffed and glared at Edward. _'Not funny.'_

"You never seem to see yourself clearly, Jazz. I got the impression that Peter has always looked up to you. The two of you have similar backgrounds. He knows better then the rest of us what you have been through, and look at what you've accomplished. How could he not want to look up to someone who has been where he has and survived to find a better life?" Edward said.

"I've only gained this much control because of you and Carlisle. You are always with me and helping me in tough situations. I also look up to Carlisle for all that he has accomplished. I hope that one day I'll be able to be around human blood and not feel its effects on me," I replied.

Edward closed the short distance separating us and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Jazz, we only helped you achieve your goals. Being able to control your thirsty is your doing. I only offer words of encouragement and my love. I know those things help, but don't downplay what you have achieved. I don't know if I could have achieved the same if I had your life experiences."

"I don't want to let anyone down, and you are stronger then you let you think," I whispered.

"I'm very proud of what you have accomplished, Jazz. I just want you to remember that if you ever do slip, I won't think any less of you. I will still love you and I will still be proud of what you have accomplished."

I gave Edward a small smile. "I don't plan on slipping up."

"I know, but things don't always go as planned. I just want you to know that I will still love you no matter what. I know that Carlisle won't think any less of you either. I hope that you will do the same for me."

"You're not going to slip, Edward, but if you do then I will be there for you. That reminds me do you know if Peter has slipped?" I asked.

Edward frowned, and I took that to mean yes. "He's slipped up a few times, and has had a really hard time with the new diet. I've seen more of this in Alice's thoughts. She is always supporting him, but she gets the impression that he feels like he lets her down when he screws up. I'd say he has the fears as you did about slipping up. They had arguments about coming here at first. He was certain that he would ruin her future if he screwed up. He tried several times to get her to come on her own."

"I don't think they have anything to worry about. It's not like Carlisle will kick them out of the family," I replied.

Edward smiled at me.

"What?" I asked.

"I think that's the first time I've ever heard you think or say that," Edward replied.

"I finally realized that you all are my family, and that you won't kick me out for screwing up. I hope I don't ever screw up, but if I do I hope you all will eventually forgive me," I said.

"Everyone would be there to support you."

I raised an eyebrow, _'Everyone… even Rosalie?'_

Edward frowned, "Yes, even Rosalie . . . After she gets over it."

"We should head back. I'm sure that Peter and Emmett are back at camp. We wouldn't want to leave Peter along with Emmett too long. Emmett might start corrupting him," Edward laughed.

I slipped my left hand into Edward's right hand and we walked back to camp holding hands. When we emerged from the woods, we found Peter and Emmett wrestling. I just shook my head and made my way over to a safe spot with Edward to watch.

"So who is going to win?" Edward asked breaking the silence.

"Peter. He's got better fighting skills," I replied confidently.

"You want to wager on that?" Edward asked.

"What are the terms?" I asked. _'This was going to be an easy bet to win.'_

"The winner gets to fuck the loser," Edward whispered into my ear.

I smiled widely. "You're on. That pretty little ass of your is going to be wrapped around my cock very shortly."

Edward was smirking just as widely as we shook on it. We focused our attention on Peter and Emmett. There was no way I was losing this bet. Edward's tight little ass was going to be riding my hard dick very soon. I noticed that Edward was still grinning, but I was too busy thinking of what position I wanted him in.

Emmett had just knocked Peter down, but Peter with a few quick moves flipped Emmett onto his back. Emmett was on his feet before Peter to could move in to pin him. They danced around each other for another minute before Peter saw an opening. It turned out to be a setup, but Peter barely managed evaded Emmett. Emmett did manage to rip a hole in Peter's shirt, so Peter didn't get away totally unscathed.

"It's a good thing that Alice thinks of clothes as disposable," Peter remarked.

Emmett grinned. "Rosalie isn't as forgiving. Edward ripped one of my shirts on our last hunting trip and Rosalie was so angry with me, and Edward."

"That was your own fault," Edward said.

"Whatever you say little brother," Emmett taunted.

Peter tried to take advantage of Emmett's divided attention, but that was a mistake. Emmett managed to knock Peter down on his back, and before he could react Emmett had him pinned.

"No fucking way!" I yelled in disbelief.

Edward was grinning from ear to ear.

"I can't believe you pinned me," Peter said as Emmett helped him stand.

"I think it'll be your tight little ass wrapped around my dick," Edward whispered.

"I can't believe I lost," I complained. _'How the hell did Peter lose?'_

"Which one of your cheaters wants to challenge the winner," Emmett called out.

I was way too distracted and upset about losing the bet to challenge Emmett. Edward flitted out to where Emmett stood, and answered his challenge. Peter joined me on the log I was sitting on.

"Turn off the mind reading and fight fair," Emmett complained when Edward knocked him off his feed.

"It doesn't work that way, Em. You know I can't turn it off," Edward replied as he dodged a lunge from Emmett.

"Cheater." Emmett laughed. Edward and Emmett continued to try and out maneuver each other.

"Why so glum?" Peter asked.

"I lost a bet, and how the hell did you lose to Emmett?" I demanded.

Peter mumbled something about underestimating Emmett, and something about not betting if I wasn't prepared to lose.

"If only you had won," I grumbled _'Then I'd be fucking Edward up against a tree.'_

Edward didn't even flinch at the images that I brought up in my thoughts. I was hoping that I could distract him enough to let Emmett win. It would have provided me with a small amount of vindication. Unfortunately it was not met to be, because Edward had Emmett pinned less then twenty seconds later.

"What did you wager?" Peter asked after Edward had pinned Emmett.

"You don't want to know," I replied. I highly doubted that Peter would care to hear about my sex life. I wasn't upset about the terms of the bet, only that I had lost a bet that I should have won.

Edward and Emmett joined Peter and me by the campfire. This was the first time that all four of us had a chance to be together and talk since our first meeting. I knew that Peter was curious about how Edward and Emmett had been changed, and he had likely questions about how to adjust to our diet.

"Edward, I'm curious about the story behind how you were changed," Peter said.

Edward, who was sitting beside me staring into the fire that was slowly flickering to life, turned to look at Peter. "Carlisle found me in a Chicago hospital in 1918 dying of the Spanish Influenza. My parents had already died of the illness, and left me all alone. My mother's dying wish to Carlisle was that he do everything within his power to save me," Edward replied.

"Have you always been with Carlisle?" Peter asked.

Edward frowned, and shook his head. "No. I had a bout of rebelliousness in the late 1920s and early 1930s. I thought that with my gift I could hunt the wicked, and pass over the innocent. I had been arrogant and thought I could do it guilt free. Turns out even taking the life of someone who is only slightly lesser of a monster then I can still make you feel guilt," Edward turned and smiled at me. "One good thing did come out of that time. I met Jazz."

I smiled, and snuggled closer to Edward. "Jasper convinced me to go back to Carlisle, and I agreed. I asked him to come with me, and to my surprise Carlisle and Esme welcomed me back with open arms and lots of forgiveness."

"Forgiveness for what… hunting humans?" Peter questioned. I could tell from Peter's emotions that he found this extremely odd. I attributed it to the fact that he knew very little of how our family functioned, and that he didn't know about Carlisle's strong aversion to taking human life.

"Partly, but mainly it was forgiveness for the things I said to Carlisle before I left. I had let my anger get the better of me, and I said some very hurtful things. My anger and arrogance are traits that were amplified when I became a vampire. I sometimes let them get the better of me," Edward replied sadly.

I squeezed Edward's shoulder with the arm I had wrapped around him. I rested my head against the side of his, and whispered so only he could hear. "Let it go. It's all in the past."

"What about you, Emmett. What's your story?" Peter asked.

"Rosalie saved me from being mauled by a bear. If she had not been there, I would have died. She killed the bear and carried my bloodied and broken body, more than a hundred miles to Carlisle. Carlisle wasn't able to save my human life. Rosalie had already fallen in love with me, and begged Carlisle to change me," Emmett replied.

"She carried you while you were bleeding?" Peter asked shocked. There was also a bit of doubt in his emotions about this story.

"Yes. She had even treated some of my wounds so that I would survive the trip," Emmett added.

I could feel Peter's complete shock and amazement by what Rosalie had done.

"We're you okay with being changed?" He finally asked.

"I love Rosalie very much, and being a vampire allows me to be with her. She and Carlisle saved my life. I thought Rosalie was an angel sent by God when she saved me. I also thought Carlisle was God," Emmett chuckled, "I know that I would have died had they not changed me. It is also much more fun being a vampire."

I felt Edward cringe, and I could see Emmett grinning widely at him.

"Emmett, behave yourself or I'll kick your ass," I threatened.

Peter gave us a confused expression as his eyes moved between Emmett, Edward and me. "Emmett likes to give Edward graphical mental images," I explained.

Peter was still confused, but Emmett took the opportunity to clarify. "I'm just showing him what he's missing."

"Emmett, Rosalie is my sister. I would prefer not to see mental images of her without clothing, what the two of you get up too when you all lack clothing," Edward said as he cringed again.

Peter started laughing after he connected the dots. "It's really not that funny," I nearly growled. I didn't like it when Emmett tortured Edward like this. He knew Edward couldn't turn off his mind reading.

Peter continued to chuckle for several minutes after that. '_I'll have to teach those two a lesson about picking on my Edward.'_

The conversation quieted and we all just sat in comfortable silence for several minutes. It was during this time that I felt Peter's emotions become conflicted, and then shift to reluctance. "Is there something wrong, Peter?" I asked.

"Have any of you ever slipped?" Peter asked hesitantly.

We all shook our heads negatively. "I've come close a few times, but Edward has been there to stop me from making a mistake. He's had to physically restrain me, more then once," I answered.

"I've slipped seven times since I met Alice, and started this diet," Peter said sadly. I could feel his anguish, and regret. I was also astonished that he had slipped so many times in such a short period of time.

"Denying our nature is very difficult and takes not only time, but a lot of support," Edward said.

"Alice gives me plenty of support, but I highly doubt I'll ever be able to keep from disappointing her. She is a wonderful woman, but I don't see how she can continue to forgive and support me. I don't want to screw up. I try, but it is hard sometimes," Peter said.

"At some point all of us will do something to screw up, but we'll be there for each other. We'll pick up the pieces, and we'll try harder the next time to not screw up. Having a strong support system makes it easier," I said.

"I keep telling Jazz that you need confidence in yourself, or you have already accepted that it is inevitable that you will slip up. I don't believe that it is unavoidable. I think it can be avoided if we believe in ourselves, like Carlisle believes in us, and if we take precautions, Edward added.

"Won't Carlisle be upset with the person who screwed up?" Peter asked.

"No. He'll be disappointed and hurt, but he would never be angry with us. We all know how difficult this life can be, and how difficult it can be to deny our nature," Edward answered.

"Carlisle only has one rule that cannot be broke. We do not intentionally hunt humans. Intentionally hunting humans is not acceptable. An occasional slip is understandable, but we must try very hard not to put ourselves in a situation that could be potentially dangerous," I added.

"I understand. I have not intention of hunting humans. I'm just worried I'll mess up and screw everything up for Alice. She has been dreaming of being part of this family for as long as she can remember, and I don't want to be the cause of her dreaming falling apart. I tried to get her to come alone, but she refused," Peter said softly.

"No one will be angry if you mess up. Except for maybe Rosalie, but don't worry about her. I know how to handle Rose, and she eventually gets over it. Just ask Edward, the two of them fight like cats and dogs," Emmett laughed.

"Only because your wife can be stubborn," Edward laughed.

'_And selfish_,' I added in my thoughts.

"Why would she be upset?" Peter asked.

Edward and I looked at Emmett, but he just shrugged. "You'll need to ask Rosalie about her story, but in her human life she was quite vain. She has always been the most beautiful, and the center of attention; she loves that attention. It has become one of her biggest traits in this life as well," Edward answered.

"Oh." Peter said.

"Rosalie isn't all evil. She does care very much about this family, and she would die to protect us. She just has some things from her human life that weight heavily on her. She hasn't learned how to deal with those events in a proper way. She tends to lash out at times, but her bark is worse then her bit," I added. I didn't want Peter to hate Rosalie. We sometimes weren't fair to her, but we all loved her very much.

"Seriously, Peter, don't worry about Rose. If she gets angry, I'll take care of her. She usually just needs a bit of time, and she'll be over it," Emmett added.

"Thanks."

It was quiet again, and after a few minutes Edward stood up. "Jazz, let's go for a walk."

I got up to follow Edward. I knew it was just an excuse so that we find some place private to be intimate together.

"A walk huh?" Emmett grinned. I flipped Emmett off and followed after Edward.

Edward ignored Emmett and took off into the forest. Edward ran until he found a small meadow that was bisected on the north end by a stream. He stopped and pulled me into his arms when I came within reach.

"Are you still angry about the terms of our wager?" Edward asked as he placed a chaste kiss upon my lips. I wrapped my arms around him and returned his kiss.

"No. I was never angry about the terms of the bet. I lost fair and square and I'm not going to back out now. Beside I like you being inside me too, so I guess you could say I won too. What I was annoyed about was that I lost, because I was so sure that Peter would have won. I've never known him to be distracted enough to lose like that," I answered.

(...) **A/N: Due to FFn's Ratings policy this section of the story can be read at TWCS. A link is available in my Author's Profile.** (...)

We were back at camp nearly three hours after we had left. Edward and I ended up having several more rounds of sex before we decide to return to camp. I was certain Emmett would have some comment to make, regardless of our undamaged clothing.

"That was a long walk," Emmett smirked.

"Edward got lost," I replied.

Peter obviously wasn't aware of how Emmett liked to make comments about our sex life as he was giving us all a confused expression.

"How did you get lost, Edward? I mean you're a vampire. You shouldn't be getting lost," Peter said.

Emmett broke out in a fit of laughter, and Edward was scowling at Emmett.

"Really, Edward, how can you get lost there aren't that many places to put it," Emmett laughed.

Peter was even more confused now by that comment.

"Do Rosie and I need to teach you two how it's done?" Emmett continued to laugh.

I could feel Edward's irritation building, as well as Emmett's amusement. I also noticed with that last comment that Peter's confusion was gone. "Alice and I could show you if you prefer," Peter laughed.

'_Oh, you didn't just say that.' _I thought. I glared at Peter._ 'You just wait mister. I will so get you back.'_

Edward, however, was livid with Emmett's renewed and increased laughter. I wrapped an arm tightly around Edward to prevent him from ripping off one of Emmett's limbs. Rosalie would not be pleased if he did that.

"Knock it off Emmett or my boot will connect with your ass and you will not find it pleasant," I said with a glare.

Emmett reigned in his laughter, but I knew he'd switch to taunting Edward with his thoughts. _'I swear that boy is a child stuck in a man's body,' _I thought.

Peter and Emmett snickered occasionally for the next half hour as we slowly moved onto other topics of discussion.

"I will probably regret saying this, but I sort of miss being around Alice. Her excitement always makes time pass more quickly," Peter said after we had been silent for a while.

"I know how you feel. Being in Rose's presence always makes time move more quickly," Emmett replied.

"It took me several months to get use to Edward working at the clinic that he and Carlisle ran in Appalachia. The first couple of weeks were the hardest. I knew I'd get to see him at the end of the day, but we had spent every day of the previous two years together," I said.

"It was hard for me too, but I found it easier to distract myself with my patients. Part of my mind was constantly thinking about Jasper, but I was able to focus on my patients while at work. It was worse when it was a slow day. I'd catch myself watching the clock until it was time to go home," Edward added.

"I wonder what the girls are doing right now," Peter said.

"I'd prefer not think about it. Shopping with Rosalie is never find, and from what I've seen in Alice's mind she gets carried away..." Edward said.

Peter laughed, "Carried away is the understatement of the year. She get so focused on shopping she forgets about everything else."

Emmett smiled, "I'm just happy we had plans, or I'd be stuck being the bag carrier."

We packed up and headed home right after our second hunt in the late afternoon. Peter and Emmett were both anxious to get back home. Peter had been struggling with wanting to run home almost immediately when the sun rose, but managed to hang on until the end of the day. I think he missed the security of being around Alice. It had been just the two of them for the past couple of years, and I'm sure that Alice was the first person that Peter had trusted in sometime.

Edward said the girls would not be home until after sun down and there was no need to rush. We passed the time by challenging each other to stupid stunts. Carlisle would not have been very happy with us, so we'll not discuss the things we did.

Everyone was home when we arrived back. Carlisle was in his study, and the girls were all upstairs unpacking their numerous bags of new clothes and a few other items for Peter and Alice's room. Peter was about to head up the stairs, but Alice told him to wait downstairs.

We sat down on the couches in the living room. Emmett started scanning the various radio channels, settling on a local station. Peter and Emmett were sitting on the same couch, and this worked well into my plan for getting even with them, specifically I wanted to get even with Emmett. Peter hadn't been as big a pain in the ass as Emmett, but he deserved punished too. I had thought about this while hunting with Emmett earlier, but I wanted the girls to witness my revenge.

As if on cue I heard Alice squealed, and Edward was suppressing a laugh. I guess that means that Alice saw what I was going to do. I could hear whispered voices, but couldn't make out the words then I heard Rosalie laugh. I did feel their amusement, and curiosity. I looked to Edward to see if he knew what they were talking about.

Edward grinned at me, and then whispered in my ear so only I could hear. "Alice told Rose what you are planning. They'll be down in a minute."

I turned my attention to Emmett, and Peter both of them were listening intently to the radio. Neither had any idea what I was planning. _'I'll teach you two to poke fun at my sex life, and pick on my mate.'_

I concentrated on Emmett. He would be the easiest to influence. I could hear Alice and Rosalie stepped out onto the second floor landing that over looked the living room. I thought about the most recent sexual encounter between Edward and me. I used the memories of that encounter to build up my lust and used that to start influencing Emmett. I sent him wave after wave causing his lust rise. I mixed in some confidence and increased Emmett's horniness. I saw him shift uncomfortably, but he didn't seem to realize that I was fucking with his emotions.

I added a direction to the emotions so that Emmett would think he was feeling attracted to Peter. I could feel his slight confusion by this, and I switched that emotion for determination. I was aware of the girls watching intently from above us. I intensify the emotions until Emmett kept glancing at Peter every few seconds from the corner of his eye.

'_Time to make him act,'_ I gathered up Edward's lust from the images I conjured of our intimacy and pushed them onto Emmett. Before Peter knew what was happening Emmett had jumped him and was kissing a very shocked and disturbed Peter. I then pushed a large amount of lust into Peter and he moaned into the kiss. Just as quickly as the lust came on it was gone and Peter came back to his senses.

Edward broke out in a fit of laughter, and I heard giggles from the girls. Peter managed to push Emmett off of him and moved to stand by the back door.

"What the hell, Emmett?" Peter said shocked.

I burst out laughing and lost control of emotions I was projecting on Emmett. Emmett broke out his influenced state and glared at me. "You!"

"That'll teach you two about fucking with the Empath," I laughed.

"Jasper!" Esme called as she entered the room. She was shocked by my language.

"That was hot!" Rosalie and Alice said from the second floor.

"Rose!" Emmett said in disbelief.

Alice flitted down beside me and high fived me. "That was awesome Jazzy!"

"Alice!" Peter said. "That was disgusting. He made Emmett kiss me."

"That was so hot. I heard you moan during that kiss," Alice said with a smile.

Peter just stared at her lost for words.

"What's going on in here?" Carlisle asked from the door of his study.

Rosalie flitted down to stand near Emmett. "Jasper made Emmett kiss Peter, and it was so hot to watch," Rosalie looked at Emmett in a seductive way, "Would you do that for me again?"

Emmett looked at Rosalie like she had just asked him to eat human food.

Realization passed over Carlisle and he snorted trying to keep from laughing. "Excuse me a moment."

Carlisle entered his study, and closed the door. As soon as the latch clicked on the door we could all hear him burst out laughing. Esme, who had been watching the whole thing from the door of her workroom, was very amused, but was doing a much better job of not laughing. "Jasper that wasn't a very nice to influence your brothers like that."

She was trying very hard to keep a straight face and scold me for what I'd done, but it just wasn't having the right effect.

"They started it by teasing Edward and me about our sex life. Emmett did say he was showing Edward what he was missing. I thought I'd just return the favor," I said innocently.

"I'll get you for this Whitlock." Peter glared at me.

"Don't worry Jazzy. I'll tell you what he's planning," Alice grinned.

"Alice! You're supposed to be on my side," Peter pleaded.

"I'm on my side, and my side is to support whoever can make my fantasies come true," Alice winked. She was grinned happily from my side. Edward who had spent the last few minutes laughing uncontrollably on the floor sat up and chuckled every time he looked at either Emmett or Peter, who were scowling at the two of us.

Carlisle picked the moment to come back into the room. "Jasper, please don't do that to your brothers again."

"Awww," Rosalie and Alice groaned together.

He was still amused, but trying to fulfill his role as dad. "Okay, Dad. But can you tell them not to make innuendos about mine and Edward's sex life."

Carlisle turned to Peter and Emmett. "No more comments about their sex life, and no more showing Edward what he's _'missing'_."

Then he turned and went back into his study, and burst out laughing again as soon as the door was latched. Esme just shook her head muttering something about "boys!" as she went back into her workroom.

"This isn't over," Emmett glared at me.

I just smirked proudly. "Bring it little brother!"


	15. Beware: Empath Nearby

**Chapter 15: Beware: Empath Nearby**

Edward and I were in our history class covering the "American Civil War" as the Yankee Professor liked to call it. A better name would have been "The War of Northern Aggression". Edward just gave me the _'I can't believe you're still bitter about that'_ expression. I rolled my eyes and went back to paying partial attention to the professor.

I let my mind wander since I was rather bored with the class. I knew more about Civil War then the professor. It was unlikely that he'd be able to pull out any information that would surprise me. I had read just about every book out there that discussed the events of the Civil War and those surrounding it. I had also lived through it as a solider, even with my fading memories I had a first hand account of what happened.

Memories of last night came flooding back to me. Images of Edward and me lying naked in our bed having passionate sex caused my lust to peak. I caught Edward's eyes glaze over for a moment and his lust also rising.

We had been alone for most of the night since the family had gone hunting. We had used the opportunity to be intimate in a bed for a change. After a lot of kissing and touching I had unceremoniously flipped Edward onto his stomach fucked his ass hard and deep repeatedly.

Edward's naked body lay beneath mine on our bed as I held him down with my right hand on his right hip. My left hand held down his left shoulder keeping him from thrusting backwards onto my hard cock. I teased him mercilessly as I pounded his hot, tight ass. I can almost feel the tightness of his ass around my cock as I sat here.

I enjoyed the memory of watching my hard cock sliding in and out of his tight hole. At one point I had taken one of his hands and let him feel my cock as it slid in and then out of him. His fingers felt amazing as they lightly touched my cock. The added sensation of his fingers drove me crazy with need for his body.

I brought us both to orgasm without touching Edward's penis once. Only the stimulation of his prostate by my hard dick pushed him over the edge. When I felt his already tight ass squeeze my hard dick even tighter I slammed into him and released the biggest load I'd shot all week. His firm ass was pressed against me as I shot deep inside him, and as he released all over the bed sheets. Both of us called out the other's name in our throws of ecstasy.

I was _'brought out'_ of my memories when I heard Edward whimper softly beside me. I glanced over at Edward and I could see the outline of his hard cock in his loose-fitting trousers. My own cock was just as hard and I quickly adjust it to make it less noticeable.

I looked up to Edward's deep golden eyes and was met with an expression of annoyance. _'Oops. Sorry.' _I thought with huge internal grin. I had gotten _carried_ away with my musings.

"That's twice this week you've done that, Jazz. Knock it off," Edward said in a quick whisper. It came out too soft and fast for human ears to pick up.

I gave Edward my most apologetic face and told him _sorry_ again in my thoughts. He sighed and turned his attention back to Professor _Yankee_. Class ended a few minutes later with a reading assignment that needed to be completed by next week's class along with our term paper. We gathered up our books and headed out of the building.

Rosalie was waiting for us out front of one of the medical school buildings. I picked up on her emotions. She was at first very annoyed. I wondered what could be causing her annoyance, but quickly figured it out when I overheard a couple of young men. They appeared to be fellow students in the medical program. They were asking her to go home with them, and they didn't seem to be taking well to being rejected.

"Good Evening, Rosalie. How is my favorite sister?" I asked as we approached. Rosalie and the two young men turned their attention toward us. The two young men were now annoyed. They were obviously upset at being interrupted. In a quick and quiet whisper that was much to fast and low for human ears I said, "I'll scare them off for you."

Rosalie's emotions relaxed, and I sent her a wave of calm. We reached Rosalie and I pulled her into a hug. "Play along," I whispered, which again was said too low and quick for human ears.

"I hardly get to see you anymore now that you are married," I said loud enough for the humans to hear. This was actually very true. Ever since Emmett and Rosalie had gotten married they spent a lot of time together. I really don't want to think about what they did together. The emotions of the humans had turned to disappointment at hearing Rosalie was married.

It should have been very obvious by the large rock that was on her hand, but young human males seemed to either not notice or disregard these things.

"Emmett and I do get carried away, don't we," Rosalie said in a coy voice. Rosalie was playing along perfectly. We couldn't have done a better job even if we'd been reading from a script.

"Speaking of getting carried away, did you know your husband was arm wrestling with Peter again on the dinning room table?" I asked. Peter and Emmett had been arm wrestling on the dinning room table before we had left for class.

"Oh no, what did he break this time?" Rosalie asked with worry. The humans were listening curiously to our conversation.

"Emmett slammed Peter's hand into the table hard enough to break it." If Peter had been human, he would most certainly have had a broken hand and an arm full of splinters. I sent a wave of fear toward the humans.

"Oh no, is he alright?" Rosalie said with concern.

"They broke Esme's dinning room table. She was none too pleased with them. Emmett's just lucky that he's a big boy or mom would have bent him over her knee and whipped his behind," Edward added.

'_Perfect, Edward!' _I thought. I sent the humans another wave of fear.

"Oh I'm sorry Rosalie. Edward and I are being totally rude to your friends here. Would you be so kind as to introduce us?" I asked.

"This is Jeff, and Wallace. They are fellow students in my Biology class," Rosalie replied nonchalantly. The boys were disappointed with the way that Rosalie had introduced them. I had my fun, but it was now time to scare them off.

"Nice to meet you boys," I smiled flashing my teeth. "Do you guys like to arm wrestle?"

Their fear spiked when they caught sight of my teeth, and I intensified the wave of fear I sent with my last sentence. The boys mumbled out something about needing to get home. They turned tail and ran, nearly tripping over each other in the process.

I could hear Edward's musical laughter behind me as we watched the boys run away. I couldn't help but join in and laugh at the sight. Even Rosalie was chuckling quietly. I turned back to Rosalie and she was smiling.

"Remind me never to get you angry, Jasper," Rosalie chuckled.

"What did I do?" I asked innocently. "I just wanted to know if they liked to arm wrestle," I held my angelic facial expressions, but this only caused Edward and Rosalie to burst out laughing harder.

"I get no respect," I lamented. This only served to renew their laughter.

I started walking away from them and toward the car. I smiled and shook my head at our antics. We had to find ways to amuse ourselves. Eternity was a long time and could be quite dull if we didn't do things to keep ourselves entertained. Rosalie and Edward caught up to me easily.

"Did Emmett and Peter really break the dinning room table?" Rosalie asked. Her laughter was completely under control again.

"They did, and Esme was livid. The thought of bending Emmett over her knee and whipping him did cross her mind, several times," Edward chuckled.

"I love my husband, but there are times when he does the stupidest things and I just want to smack some sense into him." Rosalie said with a sigh.

"I think he's only gotten worse since he's acquired an accomplice." I remarked.

"I think you're right. Perhaps you should teach them another lesson," Rosalie smiled.

I laughed as I climbed into the car. "They've been watching me like a hawk since that day. I think we need to wait a while to catch them off guard."

Edward and Rosalie started chuckling as we drove away from the school and toward home. The drive home was quiet as we each watched the scenery flash by us. Edward parked the car in the garage, and we all headed to our various activities. I went off in search of Carlisle to see if I could interest him in a few rounds of chess.

I found him in his study reading the latest edition of the New England Journal of Medicine. "Hello Jasper," Carlisle greeted, when I knocked on the door.

"Good Evening Carlisle. Would you be interested in a few rounds of chess?" I asked.

Carlisle smiled. "I would."

This was an activity that Carlisle had started several years ago. It had begun as a weekly activity and soon progressed to something we did a few times a week. It was our 'father and son' time. Over the years I had learned a lot about Carlisle during these sessions, and I had opened up to him about my past.

"I'll setup the board," I replied and returned to the living room where we had a chess table.

Alice, Edward and Esme were sitting in the living room. Alice was looking over a fashion magazine, and Esme was sitting with Edward at the piano. Edward was composing a new piece, but was refusing to tell anyone what inspired it. He said he'd tell us when it was done. It was an amazing piece that I didn't think any human could play. It was complex, yet very beautiful.

I sat down at the chess table and pulled out the pieces and started to setup the board. I had all the white pieces setup before I noticed the king was missing. I looked back in the storage compartment, but there were no extra pieces. I then checked the pile of black pieces and noticed that the black king was also missing from that set. I pointlessly looked back in the storage compartment that I knew was empty just to be sure that there were no extra pieces. _'We can't play chess with missing pieces.'_

"What are you looking for Jazzy?" Alice asked. Jazzy was Alice's nickname for me. Alice said it fit me perfectly because I was always so upbeat around her. I had explained that her emotions were influencing my mood. I had unintentionally been gravitating toward Alice. In the short time she had been with our family we had become close friends.

"I'm looking for the kings. They are missing from both sets," I replied with a slight annoyance to my voice. It was very rare for anyone other then Carlisle, Edward or I to play chess. I also knew it was very unlikely that either of them would have lost a piece.

Alice's eyes became unfocused as she slipped into a vision of the future. It was rather creepy at first when she would slip into a vision. Alice was only unfocused for a moment. "They are in the library behind the Shakespeare books."

I gave Alice an expression of complete disbelief, but headed up the stairs to the library. _'What the hell are chess pieces doing hiding behind Shakespeare books?'_

There is no way they got there on their own. My only conclusion was that Emmett or Peter must have intentionally put them there to annoy me. _'Well it worked. Those two were begging for another kissing session.' _

I retrieved the pieces and returned to the living room where Carlisle was waiting to do our coin toss to see who would play the white set. Carlisle gave me a peculiar look when he saw me place the kings on the table. "They were hidden in the library."

"That is very odd," Carlisle replied.

Carlisle flipped the coin and I called heads. It ended up being tails. We took our respective places at the table and Carlisle made the first move. After a few moves Carlisle began asking about my classes. "Are you enjoying your history class?"

I shrugged. "No as much as I had hoped. The professor is a bias Yankee jerk."

"Jazz, just doesn't like losing," Edward added.

I glared at Edward. I had not missed the double meaning of his remark. He was referring to the wager we had made during our hunting trip last weekend. _'I didn't lose. You cheated!'_

Edward just grinned at me, but said nothing. He returned to composing and I returned to my chess match.

"I don't mind losing fair and square. What I don't like about the class is that he doesn't give the Confederacy equal time," I replied.

I was about to continue my argument when Emmett walked into the house followed by Rosalie. "Emmett, you wouldn't by chance happen to know why the kings for the chest set were hidden behind the Shakespeare books in the library, would you?" I asked.

"Nope," Emmett answered immediately.

I raised an eyebrow at him in challenge to his response. It came out too quickly, and his emotions scramble for a moment. I knew immediately that he was lying. I didn't see the point in hiding the chess pieces. It was nothing more then an annoyance. I wondered idly if something else might be going on and this was being used to distract me. I decided to file that away to think about later.

A few more moves and I had Carlisle cornered. "Checkmate."

Carlisle knocked over his king, and laughed. "Even when you are distracted you can still beat me."

I grinned, and set the board up again giving Carlisle the black pieces this time. Over the next couple of hours Carlisle and I played several matches. In the end I had won nine of the fifteen matches we played.

"I think it's done," Edward whispered from the piano.

Everyone's attention in the room turned to Edward as he began playing the piece of music he had been composing for several weeks. The music filled the room with a complex and luxuriant sound. His hands were nothing more then a blur across the ivory keys.

Everyone listened astonished by the beautiful piece of music that he had composed. The music continued to surge around us without a break. The song finally came to its end on a pair of high notes, and Edward's eyes were closed.

Everyone was silent as they waited for someone else to speak. The song had felt so alive as if it had been inspired by a living being.

"Two." Edward whispered.

"I'm sorry?" I replied confused.

Edward opened his eyes and turned to Esme and Carlisle. "It was inspired by the love that I have witnessed between Esme and Carlisle over the many years that they have been together."

Esme gasped, and Carlisle was stunned. I could see Esme's eyes glisten with venom that would have been tears were she human. She was very happy, and appreciative of the beautiful piece of music.

"That was amazing, Edward," I recognized the voice clearly, it was Rosalie who had spoken. She was genuinely amazed by the music.

Esme returned to sitting beside Edward on the piano bench. Carlisle moved to stand behind them as Esme asked in a whisper. "Will you play it again?"

Edward smiled and nodded. Carlisle placed a hand on Edward's right shoulder as he began to play the composition again. When the music ended a simple _'thank you'_ was echoed from Carlisle and Esme, but I knew that in their thoughts they were privately thanking Edward.

I could feel Edward's joy at their happiness, and subconsciously I gravitated toward him. It was impossible for me to resist a good mood. I had spent so many years surrounded by horrible emotions that when my family members were in joyful and happy moods I wanted to absorb their emotions.

I eventually decided to go work on my term paper for my history class after everyone else had returned to their previous activities. I headed up the stairs to my study which was on the second floor. I was planning to do my paper on _Lieutenant General Thomas Jonathan "Stonewall" Jackson_. He was commander of the _Second Corps, Army of Northern Virginia_ and a most gifted tactician. Unfortunately for the Confederacy he had died in 1863 from complications with Pneumonia.

As I walked into my study, I headed right for my bookcase with all my civil war books, only to be met with bare shelves. "EMMETT!" I yelled.

I was royally pissed off, and Emmett was going to pay or at least that is what he would think. I stormed out of my study and head toward the stairs. Emmett and Rosalie were standing at the top of the stairs, and Rosalie paled when she took in my murderous expression. I could see my black rage filled eyes reflected in her golden eyes.

"Jasper, whatever he's done please don't hurt him," Rosalie begged.

I ignored Rosalie and glared murderously at Emmett. "Emmett McCarty Cullen what have you done with my books," I demanded.

"I didn't touch your books," Emmett replied. He was only partially telling the truth, there was something he was hiding, and I intended to find out what.

"I didn't ask if you touched them. I asked what you had done with them." I said.

"Nothing," Emmett lied smoothly.

I narrowed my eyes at him, and then turned to Alice who had just flitted up the stairs. "Jazzy, they are in the attic."

"Thank you, Alice," I said then turned back to Emmett. "This isn't over Em. I know you are up to something. Kissing Peter will pale in comparison to what I will do to you when I find out what you are up too."

Emmett's emotions spiked momentarily with fear, but he just grinned at me. I turned and headed toward the stairs leading to the attic. I could hear Rosalie behind me telling Emmett to stop whatever prank he was planning, because I was serious about what I had said.

"I'm not scared of Jas . . . Jasper" I sent a wave of fear causing Emmett to stumble over his words.

I followed the scent of glue, leather and paper to a box in the far corner of the attic that contained my books. I return to my study with the box and placed all my Civil War books back in their proper place. I then returned the box to the attic. Upon returning to my study I set about completing my original task. I retrieved the books I needed and sat down at my desk to begin writing my term paper. I completed my paper in a half hour working at my quick vampire speed most of the time. I also finished my reading assignment.

Now that my class work was out of the way for the time being, I contemplated what Emmett could be up too. The things he had done were merely annoyances, and had caused no real harm. Well except for the part about wanting to rip off Emmett's head for touching my books.

I should take him out back and shoot him, for all the good that would do. I guess I'll just have to settle for teaching him another _'lesson'_.

The sound of a soft musical laugh brought me out of my musings. Edward stood smile at me, and most likely chuckling at my thoughts.

"You guessed correctly."

"Am I also correct in assuming that this whole thing is a distraction to keep me from figuring out what he is really planning?" I asked.

Edward shrugged. "Honestly I don't know. His thoughts have been free of any plans for pranks. I am shocked to find out that he was behind these two pranks. Even Alice hasn't seen anything either."

I was just about to comment on Edward's statement when I was hit by two very powerful waves of lust. 'Ugh!' I groan in my thoughts. Rosalie and Emmett were at it again. A moment later we could clearly hear the bed banging against the wall.

I was then bombarded by annoyance from the living room. Esme must be reaching her breaking point. She had been putting up with their destructive love making for months now; the broken beds, the holes in the wall, the damage in the bathroom. Emmett and Rosalie were very physical and got carried away easily.

I was just about to resign myself a night of dealing with Emmett and Rosalie's lust when I got hit from another direction. "OH HELL NO!" I groaned must louder then I expected.

Alice and Peter were now going at it too. _'Fuck my life!'_

They all know better then to have sex at the same time. They know how much it annoys me.

Edward took in the pained expression on my face. "Do you want to get out of here?"

I shook my head _no. _This was my home too and I shouldn't get chased out because my siblings were having sex, and blasting their emotions all over the house. _'I'll be fine... I hope…'_

Edward stood and grabbed my hand, pulling me out of my chair. He led me down the hall to our bedroom and shut the door the moment we were inside.

(...) **A/N: Due to FFn's Ratings policy this section of the story can be read at TWCS. A link is available in my Author's Profile.** (...)

I was brushing my hair when Edward said the one thing I had missed and that connected all the dots. "We should thank Peter for breaking his promise not to have sex with Alice at the same time as Emmett and Rosalie are at it."

I stopped brushing the tangles out of my hair and stared at Edward in the mirror over the sink. A few weeks after Alice and Peter joined the family, we had made an agreement with Peter and Emmett. They wouldn't have sex with their partners at the same time because it drove me crazy with all the lustful emotions. Those emotions would make me very horny, and had led to me biting Edward during sex. Our sex was also a lot rougher then normal, which while not a bad thing wasn't something either of us liked to do often.

Everything fell into place. Emmett hadn't been the only one pulling pranks, and all of his had been used to distract me from the larger plan of them screwing with my emotions.

'_Well done,' _I thought.

I turned to Edward, _'You might want to stay clear of my head for the next few minutes.'_

Edward nodded, and I recalled my most terrifying memory. I closed my eyes and projected the emotion onto both Emmett and Peter. I heard a loud crash from Emmett and Rosalie's room as Emmett fell off the bed.

Edward started chuckling behind me, but I stayed focus. I could hear Emmett scrambling to gather his clothes. I then turned my attention to Alice. I felt bad about doing this, but she would understand. I then decided what I was going to do to Peter. I also decide to tell her that it was only a joke.

I had decided to rip off Peter's family jewels and feed them to the nearest mountain lion. As soon as the decision was made, I heard Alice's frantic voice telling Peter to run, because I was pissed off. I heard Emmett and Peter stumbling down the stairs and out the door as they tried to get clothes on.

I finished brushing my hair then went out into our bedroom and pulled out some clean clothes to wear. Edward and I dressed quickly, and went out to see Alice and Rosalie who were waiting for us at the top of the stairs.

"Why did my husband run out of the house?" Rosalie asked.

I explained to Alice and Rosalie the agreement we had made with Peter and Emmett after the incident where I had bit Edward. Rosalie looked remorseful, and Alice looked upset.

"That was just cruel of them. I understand wanting to get you back for the kiss, and screw with your emotions is pretty clever, but this was just plain mean," Alice said. Her eyes went unfocused for only a few seconds.

Edward started laughing and clutching his sides. "What's so funny?" I asked.

Alice answered, "The chief of police will be calling about two boys who match Emmett and Peter's descriptions running through Ms. Reed's backyard in their underwear."

Rosalie looked furious, but she was also amused. Edward's amusement was rubbing off and I couldn't help myself and started laughing. After a moment Rosalie and Alice also joined in.

"What's so funny?" Esme asked as she came to investigate. Before anyone could answer, the phone rang. We all stopped laughing, and Esme answered the phone.

"Cullen residence."

"Mrs. Cullen, this is the Hanover Police office."

All of us busted out laughing, and had to leave the room.

_Final score: Jasper 2, Peter and Emmett 0._


	16. Hollow

**Chapter 16: Hollow**

Peter and Emmett had lucked out and not gotten into any trouble. Esme had claimed that they were away on a camping trip. Rosalie and Alice founded them and punished them for their reckless behavior. The punishment meant spending a whole weekend with Rosalie and Alice as they shopped. Edward said Alice had shown him a vision of the event and he almost felt sorry for Peter and Emmett.

Edward and I were lounging about on one of the couches in the living room. Edward was sitting at one end of the couch with his legs stretched out and resting on the ottoman. I was lying on my side across the couch with my head on Edward's lap. We were both reading and enjoying each other's company.

I was reading _Wuthering Heights_, again. Edward and I had seen the film earlier this year, after we had both read the book. Edward did not particularly like the book, but I thought it was interesting. Edward would occasionally run his fingers through my hair, which was surprisingly very relaxing. I enjoy the feel of his fingertips on my scalp.

I heard Rosalie's car, a Cadillac Series 61 sedan, drive into the garage. They were back from their shopping trip. I could feel relief coming from Emmett and Peter. From their emotions I was certain they had a _wonderful_ time. Edward chuckled at my thoughts.

Carlisle had purchased a new Mercedes last year, a 230-Cabriolet B. Edward had also purchased a new car, a BMW 320. Our old cars were parked in our large garage, where they would most likely remain. Carlisle had suggested that we either sell or give them away, but Alice insisted that we keep them. She said that they would be worth more money in the future as collectors items.

One thing that I did not understand was why Carlisle and Edward had both bought convertibles. We were vampires and could not go out in the sun. A convertible seemed like a waste of money.

I looked up from my book to see Emmett walking in the front door with a half dozen garment bags in one hand and just as many boxes in the other. "You win, Jasper. I will never, ever, tease you and Edward again."

"Can I get that in writing?" Edward asked.

'_Ever the son of a lawyer,' _ I thought. Edward just grinned, but waited for Emmett's reply.

"Sure, I'll even sign it in blood," Emmett replied.

"Not funny," Edward said.

Emmett shrugged and carried the purchases up to his and Rosalie's room. Peter was next in the house the expression on his face said he was relieved to be home, and that he would be on his best behavior for quite sometime. Peter muttered sometime about Alice turning against him as we walked up the stairs also carried numerous purchases.

I returned to reading my book, but glanced up when I heard the door open again. I had to look twice to be sure of what I saw. I had expected to see one of my siblings, but instead all I saw was a large stack of boxes coming into the house. It took me a moment to realize that it was Alice carrying the stack of boxes.

"Do you need help, Alice?" I asked.

"No. I've got Jazzy," Alice replied from somewhere behind the boxes. It was quite the sight to see this barely five-foot girl carried over a dozen boxes of clothes into the house. Alice moved about without hitting anything or shifting the boxes so much as an inch.

"Peter!" Alice called.

Peter was down the stairs in a flash. "Yes dear?"

"Take these to Jasper and Edward's room," Alice said.

Peter did not protest or complain, but simple complied with the pixie vampire's demand. "Alice, I could have done that," I said.

"Oh, I know Jazzy," Alice replied with a huge grin and bounced out the front door.

I looked up at Edward confused by the exchange. "Their shopping trip does not officially end until all the purchases have been delivered to their intended recipients," Edward explained.

"Oh."

'_Damn remind me never to piss of Rosalie or Alice,'_ I added in my thoughts.

I returned to reading my book as the parade of boxes, garment bags and other purchases continued for several more minutes. Esme greeted Carlisle as he entered the house near the end of the parade of packages. Carlisle had just gotten off shift at the hospital.

"I thought there would be more packages," Carlisle said when the parade ended after he arrived.

"You missed the dozen previous trips they made before you arrived," I said.

"Where did you put everything? There can't be that much room in the trunk of that car," Carlisle said.

"Rosalie made Peter and I run back. They filled the back seat with boxes," Emmett answered.

"No wonder you're willing to put it in writing that you'll never tease Edward and me again," I laughed.

Emmett grimaced, but didn't say anything.

"Did you boys learn your lesson, this time?" Esme asked.

"Yes ma'am," Emmett and Peter said.

"Well isn't this nice to see such polite and well-behaved boys. I'll have to remember to let Alice and Rosalie punish the both of you the next time you misbehave." Esme grinned, and walked away.

I didn't dare laugh and draw attention to myself. Edward was of like mind and we quietly smiled inside. Carlisle disappeared to his study, and Esme had gone to her work room. Peter and Emmett left to hunt, and Rosalie went out to the garage.

When Rosalie purchased her car, she had spent hours studying how it worked. In the end she had figured out how to increase the performance of her car. During one of her better moods she had tuned up Edward's BMW and Carlisle's Mercedes.

I closed my eyes, _'Ah, peace and quiet,'_ I thought. It only lasted a second, and my nose caught the scent. _'Fuck!'_

I opened my eyes to see a black-haired pixie vampire bouncing up and down in front of Edward and me. "Edward, Jazzy, you need to go try on the clothes that Rosalie and I bought for you. We need to make sure it fits," Alice said.

I looked up at Alice, and seriously wanted to roll my eyes. "Alice, you would not have bought the clothes if they did not fit," I argued.

I did not want to get up. I was comfortable and enjoying my time with Edward. _'Make her go away, Edward,' _I thought.

"That's not the point, Jazzy. Now go try on the clothes," Alice said.

"Go away, Alice," Edward said. His fingers were running through my hair.

"Jazzy, if you do go up there and try on those clothes I'll tell Edward why you've been having those musing in class," Alice threatened.

I narrowed my eyes at Alice, but decide to nullify her threat. "Edward, I had those musing to punish you for cheating on our wager," I turned on the charm and kept Edward's emotions in check.

"I love you, darlin'." I gave Edward the full pouty look that I knew he couldn't resist.

"And you say I cheat," Edward said.

I grinned. "I love you."

Edward couldn't help it and started smiling. He leaned down and gave me a passionate kiss on the lips. I grabbed the back of his head and held his lips to mine.

"Hello! I'm still here," Alice said annoyed.

Edward and I continued to ignore her as we kissed.

"That's hot and all, but if you two don't get your butts up stairs and try on those clothes I'll tell Emmet and Peter that they can tease you, again," Alice threatened.

Edward stopped kissing me and lifted his head. "You're awfully small to be so hugely irritating."

"It's a gift." Alice smirked.

"Alice, leave you brothers alone. They have to leave for class soon, but I'm sure they'll be happy to try on some of the clothes you bought when they return," Esme called from her workroom.

'_No, we won't. We'll be busy without clothes when we get back,' _ I thought.

Alice narrowed her eyes at me. No doubt that she had seen a vision of what I had planned for Edward and me. I pulled Edward's lips to mine and kissed him again. "I need to get my class assignment," I said after our lips parted.

"Rosalie! We're leaving," Edward called out in his normal voice.

I flitted up to my study and picked up my class assignment and books. I met Rosalie and Edward in the garage by Rosalie's car. It seemed that Rosalie would be driving tonight. I slipped into the back seat, and Edward sat up front with Rosalie.

The drive to school was short, and quiet. "We'll meet you after class, Rosalie," Edward said.

Rosalie head to her biology class, and Edward and I headed to our history class. We slipped silently into our seats and waited for Professor_ Yankee_ to arrive. I saw Edward smirk, and shake his head.

As I looked around the classroom, I noticed that there were a fair number of students missing this evening. _'Hmm . . . I wonder if anyone would notice if Edward and I had sex in the class room.'_

"Yes they would." Edward said giving me an expression that said _don't even think of trying it._

I pouted. I was really horny for some odd reason tonight. Edward groaned at my thoughts. _'Sorry can't help it. I'll try to behave . . . for now,'_ I thought with a grin.

Professor_ Yankee_ arrived and called the class to order. After taking role call he collected our assignments and proceeded to lecture about the First Battle of Galveston.

"Commander Renshaw demanded the unconditional surrender of Galveston, or he would begin bombarding the town. Colonel Cook, the Confederate military command in the area refused Renshaw's terms. Colonel Cook had conveyed to Commander Renshaw that upon him rested the responsibility of destroying the town and killing women and children," Professor _Yankee _lectured.

I swear that I thought he looked at me for a moment before continuing his lecture. "Major Whitlock, under the command of Colonel Cook, was able to negotiate a four-day truce to evacuate the women and children from Galveston. Major Whitlock was then placed in-charge of the evacuation."

I looked at Edward and asked in my thoughts, _'Does he suspect anything?'_

"No. He was thinking you might like this lecture since you are a strong supporter of the south," Edward replied in a quick whisper.

"Major Whitlock disappeared during the late night or early morning hours between the first and second day of the evacuation. A Confederate patrol found several of his personal belongings roughly a mile from Houston, where he had conveyed the first group of evacuees. It is believed that Major Whitlock, the youngest Major to serve in the Confederate Army may have been capture by the Union Army or another group," Professor _Yankee _continued.

'_So maybe he's not a total jerk.'_ I thought. I caught Edward smirking from the corner of my eyes, but before I could say anything to him about Professor _Yankee_ called on me.

"Mr. Hale you are a supporter of the south, correct?"

"I am a supporter of the South's stance on state's rights, sir," I clarified. I did not want anyone to misconstrue my support to mean I supported slavery. I did not, and felt that slavery was wrong.

"Have you studied the Battle of Galveston?"

"I have, sir. You have just described the events of the First Battle of Galveston, which resulted in a Confederate retreat during the evacuation. Under Colonel Cook the Confederate forces regrouped, and returned on January 1, 1863. This Second Battle of Galveston resulted in the city returning to Confederate control."

The professor smiled and seemed pleased by my knowledge. I had been changed by this time and did not participate in the battle.

"The USS Harriet Lane and USS Westfield were lost in the battle along with Commander Renshaw. The Commander did not want his flagship, the USS Westfield, falling into Confederate hands. It was also after this battle that Colonel Cook put in for Major Whitlock's Medal of Honor." I finished.

"Thank you, Mr. Hale."

Class continued with Professor _Yankee_ focusing on the Confederacy, and explaining the state's rights position of the south.

"I want you all to reread the section on the Missouri Compromise and research state's rights before our next class," Professor _Yankee_ said as he ended class.

We met up with Rosalie and then drove home. I was feeling really horny again, _'We are going to my study when we get home. We are going to lock the door and I am going to take advantage of you,'_ I thought.

I felt Edward's own lust and horniness rising. I had to smirk to myself at the effect I have on Edward. He has the same effect on me, but I'm still surprised after all these years it feels just as intense as the first day.

The moment that Edward and I were out of the car I grabbed his hand and we ran to my study. We ran right pass a very annoyed looking Alice. _'She'll get over it.'_

I quickly locked the door and shoved a chair under the handle. It was a futile attempt to stop anyone from entering the room, but it would at least slow them down a fraction of a second.

I turned to face Edward and stepped toward him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his left shoulder. I felt Edward's arms wrap around me and the side of his head rested against mine.

"I love you." I said as I let Edward's love for me wrap around me like a blanket, and I wrapped him in my love.

I lifted my head and Edward pressed his lips to mine. I slowly pulled back and away from Edward. I smiled gently at Edward as I moved over to the fireplace. I crouched down in front of the fireplace and laid a few driftwood logs that we had collected during a hunting trip to Maine last month. I lit the fire as Edward pulled the quilt I had received from Michaela as a Christmas gift last year, and laid it on the floor a few feet from the fireplace.

We lay down together on the quilt. I lay on my back and Edward lay against me with his head upon my chest. Together we watched the flames flicker and dance as we lay in a comfortable embrace. I closed my eyes and listened to Edward's slow rhythmic breathing.

It was times like these that I wish I could sleep. I wished for the ability to close my eyes and allow my mind to shut itself off to the outside world. I wished to dream, so that I could dream of Edward and me. Sleep was something that I would never experience again.

I felt Edward stiffen against me and look up into my eyes. I noticed immediately the sad, pain filled expression they held. It was the most heart breaking expression I had ever seen upon his prefect face. Before I could ask what brought on this expression I could hear the phone ringing.

Edward lifted himself off of me and sat looking down at me, his sad eyes never leaving mine. "Alice," - ah hell I don't want to hear about Alice wanting us to play dress up. Edward shook his head at my thoughts.

"No Jazz, it's . . ." Edward was interrupted by Esme calling my name. "Jasper, telephone."

'_Who the hell would be calling me?'_ I thought.

I looked at Edward and I could see the venom pooling in his eyes. He looked away from me for the first time, and to be honest, I suddenly felt afraid that something was very wrong. It did not appear that I was going to get answers from Edward. I stood and walked to the door, which I unlocked and removed the chair propped against it.

"I'm coming," I said.

"Don't make a mess," I heard Emmett say.

"Fuck off, Emmett," I growled.

"Boys!" Esme scolded.

I reached the living room where Esme was holding her hand over the mouth piece of the phone so the person on the other end couldn't hear what was going on. "Who is it?" I asked.

"It's Michaela," Esme said.

"Thank you, Esme." I replied taking the phone.

"This is Jasper." I said.

"Hello, Jasper. This Michaela," I heard her said, but then I froze when I heard the next sound. Michaela coughed, but it wasn't just a cough a human would get when they were sick with a cold. No, this was a deep rough sounding cough I had heard before from patience that Carlisle and Edward would occasionally treat.

Michaela was seriously ill, but how ill. It was then that my eyes met with Edward's again as he slowly entered the room. I swear the room started to spin for a moment when it all hit me at the same time. The look of sadness and pain in Edward's eyes, his mention of Alice, and the unexpected call from Michaela. _'No! It's too soon!'_

This is not happening. It can't be happening, not now. Please dear God, don't do this to me. I'm not ready to let her go.

In the next instant I felt Edward's arms around me, and my body went limp as my emotions crumbled. All this happened in less then a second.

Michael spoke again, and while I heard her nothing was registering in my brain. It's as if my mind shut down all its processing power and focused on keeping me from breaking down completely into a crying fit.

"Jasper, I'm dying," Michaela said.

With those words my resolve crumbled to dust and I let out a soft sob. Venom filled my eyes and stung, but would not shed any tears.

"Please don't cry, Jasper. I am not afraid of death. I have had a long full life, and was blessed with the most extraordinary miracle of reuniting with my long lost brother. I love you, Jasper," Michaela spoke softly.

I felt as if my mind shut down completely after those words. I did not know if it was possible for vampires to black out, but I do know I was completely unresponsive. When I became aware of my surroundings again, I was sitting on one of the sofas. I was in the fetal position holding my legs pressed against my chest. The phone was back on its cradle.

Edward and Carlisle stood nearby talking animatedly and far too quickly for me to understand all their words. I picked out a few words here and there, pneumonia, respiratory failure, and bronchiectasis to name a few.

"Edward, I want to go to St. Louis," I said.

Edward and Carlisle stopped speaking and both looked at me. "Anything you want, Jazz. We'll leave as soon as you are ready," Edward replied.

"Jasper, are you alright?" Carlisle asked.

I shook my head _'no'_, and then walked out of the room to pack. I spoke no other words, and all my movements felt like it was someone else controlling my body. My emotions, which I had locked down as tight as possible, felt empty and hollow.


	17. Fragile

**Chapter 17: Fragile**

_Fragile_ _-Adjective: easily broken, shattered, or damaged; delicate; brittle; frail_

Until this moment I had never considered how truly fragile human life can be. I stand here in the pouring rain watching as the graveyard workers lower the coffin holding my sister's lifeless body into the ground.

I knew that my sister had lived a full and happy life. She had no regrets and was at peace with her life. She had told me that my returning to her life had been the greatest gift that she could ever have received.

I had held her hand for the last several days as I watched her frail body lose its fight for life. The sickness had taken over completely and ravaged her body. During the final days of her life she had been coughing up blood. I was so lost in my emotional vacuum that I rarely noticed.

I had hoped that Carlisle would be able to save her life, but it was obvious when I arrived here with Peter, Alice and Edward that not even Carlisle could save her. I remember everything that happened while I was here with perfect clarity. _'A goddamn curse of this existence!'_

I remember every cough, every wheezy breath, every second of the agonizing time I sat beside her and she slipped further and further away from me.

It finally became too much for me when I saw the graveyard workers sealed the burial vault and began filling the hole with dirt. I spun on my heels and walked away as quickly as I could without drawing attention to myself. I slipped into the church and found a pew near the back and knelt down with my head in my hands.

I remember the last words my sister spoke to me before she slipped into a deep sleep never to wake again.

"_My time is almost up, Jasper. Before I go, I want to thank you for coming back into my life. You brought me peace, and hope. I will always love you, and watch over you."_ She had said.

She had to know that it would not be possible for me to see her again. There was no reward waiting for me on the other side, if I ever got there. I had committed far too many sins to be absolved. This was goodbye forever.

I felt a wave of anger flash over me. This whole mess was Maria's fault. If that bitch hadn't fucking changed me into this horrible creature I would have lived a normal human life and be with my parents, my siblings, my human family whom I missed so much. I had lost everything because of her. She had turned me into this killing machine, and treated me as a tool for her own purposes.

'_If it hadn't been for Maria changing me, I would have never met the love of my life.'_ I sighed. I was broken, and all the kings' horse and all the kings' man couldn't put Jasper together again.

Edward, the love of my life, who one person who meant the most to me and I had hurt deeply these past few days. He had only been trying to comfort me, but I was so angry with how unfair life was being to me that I lashed out at him. I know I had caused him considerable pain when I yelled at him, _"Stay the hell out of my head, and leave me the fuck alone, Edward! I don't need or want your help!"_

The look of hurt that flashed across his face at my words still haunted my mind. I had never before said anything to hurt him. I had no justification for my actions. Yes, I had been angry, but that did not give me the right to take it out on Edward.

'_I can't fucking do anything right.'_

My eyes stung with the venom that filled them, but the blasted tears would never shed. _'I can't even fucking mourn for my sister properly.'_

Rage filled me and I wanted so badly to expel it, but I couldn't. There was nothing in this place of worship that I could release my anger out on. I gripped my hair with my fingers as the sobs continued softly.

~ * ~ Flashback ~ * ~

_I paced back and forth down the hallway outside of Michaela's room. Edward had kicked me out of the room so that he could examine Michaela without me constantly interrupting him. I couldn't help it. I was so worried about her, and kept praying that Edward would be able to do something._

_Even thought it had only been a few minutes it felt like hours before Edward emerged from her bedroom. I faced him waiting expectantly for what he would tell me._

"_I've given her pain medication, and she'll fall asleep soon. Go and sit with her while I go call Carlisle, then I need to go to the druggist to get a few things," Edward said._

_I nodded, and Edward walked away. I knew he wouldn't tell me anymore, but I could tell he was worried. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before entering the room. My lungs filled with the scent of sickness and morphine._

_I opened my eyes and stared at the closed door. On the other side of it was my very sick sister, who was dying. I had seen more then my fair share of death in my life. Many people had died at my very hands, and yet none of those deaths affected me the way this one did._

_I took another deep breath and steeled myself before entering the room. I placed a calm expression upon my face and buried my emotions deep within me. No one would be able to tell anything was wrong unless they looked closely in my eyes, or like Edward read my thoughts._

_I opened the door and glided into the room. I closed the door and turned my attention to the frail human woman lying in the large bed before me. Michaela lay in the bed covered with several heavy blankets. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was even, but rough. Edward had propped her up with several pillows placed beneath her back and head so that she was slightly elevated. I assumed he had done this to help with her breathing._

_Her worn and wrinkled pale face showed the signs of a life long spent. The image before me was heart wrenching, and nearly undid my carefully crafted calm facade. I took another deep breath and force my emotions to stay in check._

_I walked silently to a chair beside her bed and sat down in it. I took Michaela's right hand which lay upon the blankets and held it in my own. She felt warm from the fever that was ravaging her frail body. She did not stir, but kept her even rough breathing; she was asleep._

_I stared at her face, and tried to force my mind to remember anything from our childhood. The memories were so old and faded that I could barely make out any images. My heart ached to remember just one happy memory._

_As if my silent prayer had been answered my mind focused on a very old memory of Michaela and me in our Sunday best. We were young, perhaps in our early to mid teens. We were at a social event and we were dancing together and laughing. Her eyes sparkled, and her laugh was infectious. I had no idea what caused the laughter, but I felt that the memory was a happy one._

_Just as quickly as it came it faded again, and I cursed my very existence. I breathe in deeply trying to remain calm. My eyes filled with venom again as they focused on the frail ill human laying in the bed before me. I ran my free hand through my blond hair in frustration._

_A soft tap on the door too low for human ears brought my attention to it. The door opened silently and Peter walked in just as silent. I only gave him a quick glance as he entered. I did not want to meet his eyes, because I knew that he would see past the facade. Peter was the only person, other then Edward, who knew me so well._

_I focused on Michaela's sleeping form and did not meet his gaze as he sat in the chair on the opposite side of the bed. He did not speak, but his gaze never left me. I knew what he was doing and I was determined to keep him from learning how much this was affecting me. No one needed to go through this agony with me, though I so badly need someone to comfort me._

_Another memory flashed before my eyes. In this memory I was older, and having a conversation with my mother. I was dressed in my major's uniform, and my mother was fussing over the collar. "I am so very proud of you, Jasper," She said. The memory faded again, and I wanted to scream._

"_Stop torturing yourself, Jasper. She is human, and this is the natural way of things. You need to come to terms with that and cherish the time you had with her," Peter whispered too low for human ears._

_I lifted my pain filled eyes to look at him bewildered that he had so easily seen through the facade. I apparently was not putting on a good enough show. I did not respond, and after while Peter left with a sigh._

~ * ~ End Flashback ~ * ~

I had started to push everyone away beginning with Peter. I had also begun to construct walls around me to keep everyone out. Those walls got higher and thicker with each passing second as I buried my emotions deep within the darkest recesses of my mind.

I love my family with my entire being, but I could not bring myself to open up to them. I was Major Jasper Whitlock, and I would not show weakness in front of my family. Those were the thoughts running through my head as those walls went up.

~ * ~ Flashback ~ * ~

_Edward returned from the druggist with a bag of supplies which included syringes, penicillin and morphine. There were also a few cans of what appeared to be human food. Alice appeared a moment later to take the cans of human food, and then left the room._

"_Jazz, you may want to wait down the hall while I administer the penicillin." Edward said as he prepared a syringe._

_I quickly nodded and left the room._

_I headed down the hall to the kitchen where I could hear someone making noise. I found Alice preparing one of the cans of human food. She had poured the contents into a pot and it appeared that she was making soup._

"_Jazzy, are you ok?" Alice asked_

"_I'm fine," I replied._

"_You know that we are here for you, Jazzy. You don't have to go through this alone," Alice added._

"_I'm fine, Alice. Please just drop it," I replied a bit snappier then I intended._

_Alice sighed, but decided to drop the issue._

"_Get me a bowl out of the cupboard on the end," Alice said pointing to the correct cupboard._

_I retrieved the bowl and gave it to Alice. She filled the bowl about three-quarters full of the soup and placed it on a tray with a spoon. Alice handed me the tray and instructed me to take it to Michaela. Alice also assured me that Edward had finished, and that Michaela was rousing from sleep._

_I headed down to the hallway to Michaela's room with the tray of food that Alice had assembled. I entered the room as Edward was helping Michaela sit up. He placed several more pillows behind her back so she could sit up to eat._

"_Thank you, Edward," Michaela said in a weak voice._

"_You are welcome, Ms. Branson," Edward said._

"_Edward, I've told you to call me Michaela,"_

"_I'm sorry, old habits," Edward grinned._

_Michaela smiled weakly as I approached with her food. Michaela turned her smiled toward me as I set the tray across her lap and allowed the legs of it to rest on each side of her. Michaela was able to eat on her own with a little help from Edward and me._

_Michaela had been on her own for the last few months because her granddaughter, Ann, had taken a vacation with a new boyfriend. They were visiting places in Europe. Unfortunately they visited when Hitler decided to invite Poland and other European countries. Mary and her boyfriend were currently stuck in England trying to book passage on a boat back to America._

~ * ~ End Flashback ~ * ~

I continued to pull away from my family members as they tried to help me through this difficult time. By the time I realized what I was doing it was too late to stop. The walls just kept going higher and I couldn't climb out of the emotional pit I was in. I let the fear and anger overtake me and I lashed out at the people that I loved the most. The pain I caused was unforgivable.

~ * ~ Flashback ~ * ~

_Carlisle had arrived the next day after having spoken to Edward. Together they had come up with a plan to make Michaela comfortable. Carlisle had told me there was nothing that he could do to heal her. I knew it frustrated him that he could not save her, but I lashed out._

"_Carlisle there has to be something you can do. I've seen you save people all the time in worse condition then Michaela." I pleaded._

"_Jasper, those were all different circumstances. You know that I would do everything possible to save her if I could, but it's not possible. She has pneumonia, Jasper, and she is in advance stages of respiratory failure. I'm sorry, but all I can do is make her comfortable for the time she has left." Carlisle replied._

"_Then why the hell did you come here if not to save her." It was too late to take back the words after they had left my mouth. I had let my anger get the better of me and realized it too late to take it back. Pain flashed in his golden eyes, and I didn't have the guts to apologize. Instead I turned and walked away, with a very angry Edward on my heels._

_Edward cornered me away from everyone and let me have it. "What the hell, Jasper! He came here to help and that is how you treat him! I know you are going to hell right now, but you don't have to bite off our heads every time we try to help you!" Edward said._

"_None of you know what the hell I'm going through," I yelled._

"_I can read your thoughts, Jasper, or have you forgotten. I know what the hell you are going through, but you aren't letting any of us help you. You've put up these impenetrable walls around you," Edward countered._

_I knew he was right, but that didn't stop me. "Maybe I don't want your help."_

"_Jasper, you can't do this on your own. You've got to let us help you. I can hear what you are going through in your thoughts and it's driving me crazy that you won't let me help," Edward pleaded._

"_Stay the hell out of my head, and leave me the fuck alone, Edward! I don't need or want your help!" I yelled at him._

_Hurt flashed across his face. He beautiful golden eyes filled with pain and rejection. I felt his emotions shift from anger and compassionate to hurt and pain. It felt as if someone had taken a knife and stabbed me in the heart, but it was Edward who had been stabbed. I was the one who had driven the knife into his heart._

_I couldn't bear to see the pain I had caused him. I pushed past him and ran from the house. Thankfully it was dark out and no one saw me. I ran until I was deep within the forest near Michaela's home. In a fit of rage, pain and fear I rampaged through the forest releasing my pent up emotions. I growled as I punched trees, and threw rocks._

_I finally crumbled to the ground sobbing uncontrollably. I was an empath and I should know how to control my emotions better without lashing out at the people I love. I rested my head on my knees and my fingers gripped my hair as I let the sobs rack my body. I released all my emotions until I was completely spent._

_I marked the passage of time by the intensity of the light streaming into the forest from the moon and stars above. Only a few short hours had passed since I had run from the others and hid myself here in the forest. I had finally stopped sobbing and I felt emotionally drained. I looked around expecting to see one of my family members, but none of them were there. I don't know why I expected to see any of them after the way I had treated everyone._

_I had really fucked up and I felt very ashamed of my actions. I stood and brushed the debris from the forest off my clothes. I needed to hunt, and tracked down a herd of deer. When my needs were fulfilled, I head back to the house._

_I entered the house silently and went to Michaela's room. She was sleeping peacefully, and I sat down in my usual spot by her bed. Carlisle had been administering oxygen therapy to help keep her comfortable._

_I was still very ashamed of my actions, but couldn't bring myself to face my family. I could feel their far ranging emotions encompassing everything from anger to hurt and compassion. I felt Michaela stir and slowly awaken._

_Michaela turned her face toward me and asked for water. I helped her sit up and held the glass of cool water to her lips. She drank slowly, and then pushed the glass away when she had enough. I helped her lay back down and placed the glass on the table beside her bed._

"_Jasper, are you and Edward fighting?" Michaela asked._

_I sighed. She did not need to be worrying about this right now. She needed to be concerned with her health, and not my emotional outburst._

"_No, Michaela. Edward and I are fine. There is nothing for you to concern yourself about," I replied. Edward and I weren't fine. I had hurt him, and in my eyes that wasn't something that could be easily forgiven or forgotten._

"_Then can you explain to me why when he came in here to give me my medication he looked like someone had thrust a dagger into his heart?" Michaela asked pointedly._

_I flinched at her description of the pain I had caused. I sighed and hung my head in shame. "I said something hurtful. I'm not dealing well with this," - waving my hand at her - "and I let my emotions get the better of me. I exploded at Carlisle and Edward," I whispered. My eyes filled with venom._

"_Jasper, this isn't like you. I've never known you to push away the people you love in a fit of anger," Michaela sighed. "Do you remember when you were fifteen and asked Charlotte Peters to the church social?"_

_I shook my head negatively._

"_Well you did, and she turned you down. You had the biggest crush on her, and when she rejected your invitation you were very upset. You still went to the social with the family, but you were sulking around. You tried to act as if nothing was wrong, but I knew you were upset. So I asked you to dance with me, and you agreed," Michaela said as she recounted the memory._

_I felt the dim memory from earlier become clearer again. Michaela and I were dancing and laughing. Michaela noticed the change flash across my eyes as I remembered._

"_You remember now?"_

_I nodded._

"_We were laughing by the end of the dance, and you stopped sulking. I told you that you shouldn't spend all your time worrying about Charlotte Peters, because you would find someone better one day," Michaela smiled. "I was right, wasn't I?"_

"_Yes," I whispered. Edward has loved me unconditionally and he has never once rejected me. I returned that love by lashing out at him when I needed him most, because I didn't know how to ask for help._

"_He can help you through this, Jasper. You just need to let him in, and stop fighting it," Michaela added._

"_I don't know how," I whispered with my voice cracking._

"_You have to be willing to let them help you."_

_I simply nodded. I didn't know if I knew how to let them help me._

"_My time is almost up, Jasper. Before I go, I want to thank you for coming back into my life. You brought me peace, and hope. I will always love you, and watch over you." Michaela smiled at me then closed her eyes._

"_Thank you for being my sister and accepting what has happened to me. I will always love you," I whispered._

_I held Michaela's hand as her breathing evened out, and she slipped into a deep sleep. I gazed out the window of her bedroom that faced east. The light from the stars and moon streamed through the window. As time passed, I watched the light change in a flood of color as the sun finally began to rise._

_My attention returned to Michaela when I felt her hand go limp in mine. I turned to see that she was no longer breathing, and I could not hear her heartbeat._

"_Car . . . Carlisle!" I called out as I stood; the pain in my voice was evident._

_Carlisle flitted into the room, followed by Edward and Peter. Carlisle began to quickly take Michaela's vitals as I watched on helplessly. I felt Edwards arms wrap around me and pull me away from the bed. I released Michaela's lifeless hand._

_I stood there in Edward's embrace looking on as Carlisle worked quickly to no avail. Finally after a few minutes Carlisle turned to me with sad eyes._

"_No," I said trying to wiggle out of Edward's tightening embrace; trying to push him away._

"_Jazz, stop, there is nothing you can do," Edward whispered into my ear._

"_No . . . Please . . ." I begged as my eyes filled with venom, yet again._

"_Jazz, she's gone," Edward said._

"No . . ." I whispered. I stopped struggling against Edward and fell into his embrace. The sobs over took me as Edward slowly lowered us to the floor. I wrapped my arms tightly around Edward as I faced him. I buried my face into his neck and shook as I sobbed. Edward held me tightly as Carlisle and Peter looked on.

~ * ~ End Flashback ~ * ~

I felt another person kneel beside me. My eyes fell upon the most heavenly face I had ever laid eyes upon. A gentle smile sat upon his lips, and his eyes were filled with compassion and love. I lifted my eye and gazed upon the bronze-haired and golden-eyed man who was the love of my life.

There was no trace of the hurt and pain I had caused only a few short days ago. "I'm sorry," I said.

Edward gave me a perplexed look, and I felt ashamed.

"I'm sorry for what I said. I was angry with myself because I didn't know how to deal with this, and I didn't know how to ask for help. I lashed out at you, and the people I love most. I had no right to do that, and I am so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, but I did. I hope that one day you can forgive me, please," I pleased.

Edward gave me a gentle smile and pulled me into a tight embrace. "You are forgiven, Jasper. I know that you were hurting, and that you did not mean what you said. That doesn't mean it didn't hurt at the time, because it did," Edward whispered.

"I needed you so badly, but I didn't know how to ask. I was scared to show weakness, and yet I still needed you. Instead I got angry and hurt you."

"Let it go, Jazz. I'm not angry with you. I'm here for you anytime you need me."

I pulled back from Edward and gave him a gentle smile. "Thank you."

"I love you, Jasper. That love is not conditional upon us always agreeing or being happy. I love you even when we are unhappy, sad or angry with each other," Edward said.

"I love you too, Edward. More then I can express in words."

Edward smiled at me and gave me a chaste kiss. "Are you ready to leave?"

I nodded, and we left the small church. Carlisle, Esme, Alice and Peter were waiting for us outside by the cars. I had more people I needed to apologize too.

I lowered my head as we approached. "I need to apologize for my behavior these past few days. I know that you all were just trying to help me, but instead I pushed you all away. I also let my emotions get the better of me and said something that I did not mean. My words caused some of you pain. I am truly sorry for what I said, and the pain I caused."

Carlisle stepped forward and placed a hand on my left shoulder. "We are never prepared for losing someone that we love. It's times like those that cause our emotions to make us do and say things that we do no always mean. Those actions and words can hurt the ones we love, but it is because of the love that we share that we can easily forgive," Carlisle paused, and pulled me into a hug. "You are family, Jasper, and we all love you. We understand that this was not easy for you, but we are here to help you."

Carlisle pulled back from the hug. "Thank you, Carlisle. Your forgiveness is more then I could have asked."

Our attention was diverted to the distance where the sun shown through the clouds causing a rainbow to appear. We were safely within the shade of the nearby clouds as we gazed upon this perfect rainbow.

I smiled, and took it as a sign from my sister that all would be well. "Goodbye, Michaela."


	18. Mending

**Chapter 18: Mending**

_Mend - verb: to make (something broken, worn, torn, or otherwise damaged) whole, sound, or usable by repairing._

Christmas was nearly upon us, and I looked forward to celebrating another anniversary of with Edward. While the anniversary of the first day we met was nearly two weeks ago, I felt it was not the most significant day of our time together in the beginning. I felt that Christmas Eve was the most important day. It was the day that I proved capable of this life because of Edward, and it was the night Edward returned home.

I had let Edward think that I didn't want to do anything special this year, and he assumed it was because of my sister's passing. In truth I was trying to plan a special night for the two of us to make up for the hurt I had caused him. Edward would have told me it wasn't necessary, but I had to do this to show Edward that I never wanted him to doubt how much I truly loved him.

The emotions of losing my sister were still raw, and overpower at times if I thought of her. It was hard not to think of her with all the items she had left to me in her Will.

There were family paintings, photographs, books, and many other items. Edward and I had spent hours going through each item and deciding if I should keep it or send it to the family museum. In the end I kept only a few items, mainly photographs, a few paintings and several books. One item that I knew I would keep was Michaela's bible. It sat prominently on my desk with the picture of me in my uniform still stuck between the pages where she had left it.

Alice had purchased a photo album for the photos and taken the time to transpose all of Michaela's writings about each photo into the album beside the corresponding image. The photo album it self was custom created by Alice. It had a leather cover, back and binding. It was inlayed with Gold designs, and inscribed: _Whitlock Family_. A copy of the album was also created and sent to the museum for display.

My family has been extremely supportive to me in the weeks after Michaela's passing. I was rarely left alone, but I did manage to find the time to slip away to be with my own thoughts on occasion.

I heard Carlisle's automobile come to a stop outside the front door. I had made plans with him to go shopping for the last two people on my list, Alice & Edward. I had delayed making a decision or buying anything for these two because of their _'abilities'_. I didn't want Alice to know what I was going to buy her until the last possible minute. She already knew what everyone else, except for what Carlisle and I would be giving her.

Carlisle had narrowed the list, but it was still long enough that all of Alice's visions of it were too fuzzy to make out the gift. Carlisle also had not bought Edward's gift yet either. We both had narrowed down the list of what to buy him, but we were not thinking of those items around him.

Part of the reason I had spend the entire day in my study was to keep my mind distracted. It was quite easy to do with all the items from my sister in here. I knew Edward was staying clear of my mind to give me privacy.

The last few days I had spent negotiating and bribing Peter into helping me with one very important task. He was to keep Alice out all day and away from Edward so that I could make a decision and buy his Christmas gift along with finish the last few details on my anniversary surprise.

Peter wanted a car for Alice and himself, and needed my help to persuade Carlisle and Edward. Peter wanted me to use my gift to influence them since they had both said no when Alice had asked for a car recently. I had agreed, but only because I knew why Carlisle and Edward had said no in the first place.

Rosalie had been tasked with making the decisions to purchase a new car, a BMW 327 that would be for Alice and Peter. Rosalie was pretending that she was purchasing the car for Emmett, but we all knew the truth. Edward had assured us that Alice still believed the car was for Emmett.

I know it was wrong of me to deceive Peter, but I needed his help. I also couldn't very well tell him that we were buying them a car for Christmas. I knew Peter would forgive me, when he saw the car. It was a better car then Peter had intended to ask Carlisle for anyway.

"Jazzy, what are you buying me for Christmas?" Alice asked. She had just appeared at the door of my study.

I grinned at Alice and shook my head. "Nice try Alice, but my lips and mind are sealed. It's a surprise, and you are not going to find out until the last possible second," I replied.

Alice's expression narrowed, "You owe me, Jazzy."

"I do not owe you anything, Alice."

"Yes, you do. You and Edward modeled those clothes that Rosalie and I purchased for you." Alice countered.

"Alice we've worn those clothes since that time. You must have gotten over that by now."

"Like I said, you owe me."

"I'm not telling you, Alice. Part of the fun of Christmas is not knowing what you are getting until you unwrap the present," I said.

"But I want to know," Alice whined.

"You're awfully whiny," I smirked. I quickly stood and flitted out of the room. Carlisle had already changed clothes and was saying a quick goodbye to Esme.

"Are you ready to go, Carlisle?" I asked.

"Jazzy! Tell me!" Alice demanded from behind me.

"No, Alice. If you keep whining, I won't buy you anything," I said, and quickly made the decision not to buy Alice a gift.

Alice's eyes went wide when she saw my decision. "You wouldn't."

"Try me," I retorted, and solidified my decision.

Alice pouted, and I almost broke but managed to keep my decision firmly locked.

"Fine you win for now," Alice complained.

"Alice, you'll know as soon as he makes a decision. Now stop pouting and let's go hunting," Peter said as he came into the room.

Alice continued to pout, but headed off with Peter to hunt; who gave me the '_You owe me'_ expression before closing the door.

"There are days when I love being a mind-reader," Edward said from the couch, where he was sitting reading a book.

I chuckled and shook my head. It was no use asking because Edward wouldn't tell me whose thoughts he found funny or amusing.

"I'm ready to go," Carlisle said.

"Let's go before Alice comes back," I laughed. I flitted over to Edward and gave him a passionate kiss. "I love you, and I'll see you later tonight."

"Love you, Jazz," Edward replied with a smile.

Carlisle and I were soon in the car and heading south to New York. I had filled Carlisle in on my plan for my special surprise for Edward, and I suggest that New York would probably be best for shopping options. I had already picked out one item I wanted to get Edward, but I need a backup incase it fell through.

"We haven't had much time to talk, but I wanted to know how you are doing?" Carlisle asked.

I shrugged, "I have my good days, and my bad days."

"It will get easier, Jasper. I know that right now you must feel overwhelmed at times."

"Michaela said that I never pushed people away like I did recently," I said sadly.

"Jasper, you of all people should realize that we as vampires experience emotions so much more intensely then humans. You cannot compare the loss you feel as a vampire to what you would feel if you were human. Both human and vampire would feel it as one of the most intense emotions they will ever experience, but because we are vampires it makes the emotions so much more difficult to process," Carlisle replied.

"I suppose you are right."

"This is the first time that you have loss someone you love dearly. You had no idea what to expect, and I truly hope you never have to experience such loss again."

"How did you handle it when you loss Amelia?" I asked.

"Amelia was not the first, but I did not feel the loss as intensely as you did with Michaela. I do believe I loved Amelia, but over the years I think that love may have been more like the love shared between siblings or close friends. Amelia was the first companion I had, and while it was brief it was the first time I felt close to anyone since I had become a vampire," Carlisle said.

"Who was the first, if I may ask?"

Carlisle turned to look at me and gave me a sad expression, but he turned his eyes back to the road before I could read them, "My father."

I realized that I probably shouldn't have asked, but it was too late to take back the question. I could feel Carlisle's loss. It was strong, but not nearly as crushing as I would have thought.

"It has been many years, and over time my feelings of loss for him have become less intense. The past few decades it has kept to about this intensity," Carlisle said in answer to my unspoken musings.

"It was difficult when he died. He was a hard man, but he believed in what he was doing. We didn't always see eye to eye, but I knew he was proud of me. I hope that if he were alive today that he would be proud of what I have accomplished with the hand I was dealt," Carlisle added.

"I think he would be very proud. You have accomplished things that I can only wish to dream about. You are a person who people look up to, and endeavor to equal,." I replied.

"You too are a person that people can look up too, an endeavor to equal, Jasper," Carlisle said.

I shook my head negatively. "I am no role model, Carlisle. There is too much evil in my past."

"That is exactly why you are a role model, Jasper. Look at what you have accomplished in such a short time. Do you have any idea how many years it took me to be comfortable around humans so that I could attend classes?" Carlisle said.

I shook my head again negatively. This was something that I had never discussed with Carlisle, but I assumed it hadn't taken him many years to overcome the thirst.

"It took me more than a decade before I could sit in a class room with humans, and not want to constantly kill them. I study by going to libraries or taking private lessons. You have accomplished so much in less then a decade, Jasper," Carlisle replied.

I was stunned. I check his emotions and he was telling the truth, which I should never have doubted to begin. "It's not as easy for me as it appears."

"I didn't say it was easy, Jasper. What you are doing is far from easy. If it were so easy I'd like to think more of our kind would choose this life. I know you struggle with your thirst every day, but you go to class where you are surrounded by humans and you participate in the discussion."

"I find it easier to be there after I've fed, but the longer it is since I feed it is harder I find it. That is why I feed at least once a week. I'd very much like to be able to go longer between hunts, but I don't want to slip."

"There is no need to push yourself to where you are uncomfortable. You will be able to go longer between hunts with time. The intensity of your thirst, like the intensity of the loss you feeling will abate with time," Carlisle said.

"Do all emotions abate with time?" I asked.

"No, there are several that will never diminish. The love you feel for your mate will never diminish as would loss you would feel if your mate died. Marcus still feels the strong love he had for Didyme, and the loss of her death. This is why he is the most compassionate of the three Volutri brothers."

Carlisle rarely spoke of his time with the Volutri. I didn't like to pry, but I was always so curious about this time with them. In the south the Volutri are regarded with great respect and fear.

"How did Didyme die?" I asked.

"Didyme was Aro's twin sister. He changed her himself in the hopes that she might have a gift similar to his own. Didyme was gifted, but not in the way that Aro had hoped. Her gift allowed her to cause men to fall in love with her," Carlisle replied.

"Did that gift influence Marcus to fall in love with her?" I asked. This was sort of a concern of mine with Edward. I had once wondered if perhaps my gift had influenced him to fall in love with me.

"No. Her gift caused an illusion of love, but not true love. You and Edward share true love, just as Esme and I do. Marcus truly fell into love with Didyme. Aro approved of the relationship because it would bring Marcus into the _"family". _ What Aro had not anticipated was that they would want to leave the Volutri together," Carlisle replied.

I had a feeling I knew where this was going. "He killed his own sister?"

"No one, save Aro knows for sure. He blames the Romanians for her death. You see Marcus is also gifted. He can read relationships, and that is an important gift that Aro needs in his quest to collect the most powerfully gift vampires, and rule over our world," Carlisle said.

"Do you think he killed her?" I prompted.

"I think it's possible, and the evidence would point more to Aro then the Romanians, but only Aro knows for sure," Carlisle answered.

We drove on in comfortable silence for a short-time, after that. My mind kept returning to what Carlisle had said earlier in our conversation about people looking up to me. Edward and I had this conversation shortly after Peter and Alice joined the family. He had claimed that Peter looked up to me because of what I had accomplished.

"Edward and I talked about Peter looking up to me several weeks ago. I told myself it was expected since he is my great-nephew," I said.

"Peter is not the only one who respects your accomplishments or looks up to you, Jasper." Carlisle replied.

I looked at Carlisle with interest. I couldn't think of who else would look up to me. "Who?"

"I for one have a great deal of respect and pride for what you have achieve, Jasper. You are more determined then any of us to keep from slipping. I know that you have not mastered your thirst and that will be many more decades before you do, but you have made tremendous progress in such a short time."

"Thank you, Carlisle. That means a lot to me coming from you," I replied.

"I'm not the only one who respects your accomplishments. It might surprise you to know that Rosalie thinks very highly of what you have accomplished," Carlisle added.

I couldn't help but snort out a laugh. "I'm sure I high on her list," I said sarcastically.

Carlisle smiled, "Seriously, Jasper, she thinks highly of what you have accomplished. I know that Rosalie doesn't always think of others, but she is proud of you. Rosalie has a hard time to express herself, because so many of her less stellar traits were intensified."

I didn't say anything else. Perhaps Rosalie did view my accomplishments with some respect, but I doubted it was high on her list.

"Emmett looks up to you, as well. He's hoping that he will be able to go at least as long as you have without slipping," Carlisle continued.

"Emmett is just being competitive," I argued.

"Perhaps, but I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss it. Emmett looks to you as his older brother, and that speaks volumes," Carlisle reasoned.

"I suppose it does."

I wasn't one for attention. Ever since I had escaped Maria I wanted to disappear, and avoid being the center of attention. It would help me stay hidden from her, and keep my family save. I didn't like the spotlight anymore. I had served in the military and the southern wars where I was a legend. Now all I wanted was peace, and security for my family.

A few hours later we had arrived in New York City. It was just starting to snow shortly after we had arrived. "Now I just need to decide what to buy for Alice," Carlisle said.

"Wait!" I said as an idea suddenly hit me.

Carlisle gave me a curious expression. "I just had an idea and I think it would screw with Alice's visions."

"Oh?" Carlisle said. I had piqued his interest.

"I will give you the list of items I was considering to buy for Alice, and you give me your list of what you thought about buying for her. We'd set a spending limit, and each of us would buy the other's gift for Alice. It might also help to get a sales clerk to make the final decision, and then wrap the gifts before either of us sees them," I explained quickly.

Carlisle's grin was huge. "Alice is going to kill us, but I like it. Let's do it."

We quickly traded list and set a spending limit, which was useless considering how high we had set them. "You will also want to try to make the decisions as spontaneous as possible. Peter is keeping her occupied so with any lucky she'll miss all the visions," I added.

We quickly parted ways and I headed to my first destination. I quickly headed to the Philharmonic box office to purchase tickets to the Special Christmas Eve performance. I lucked out and was able to purchase a large number of tickets to one of the balconies, almost guaranteeing we would be away from any humans. This was part of my apology plans.

My next spot was a music store to pick up two classical sheet music books that I knew Edward did not have, and would appreciate. According to the sales clerk the books were the most complex musical pieces currently written. I knew Edward would appreciate them, and would have little trouble playing them.

I also made a quick stop at a store that specialized in picture framing. I purchased four frames, and other supplies for the gift I had been hoping would come through. This whole plan was depending on a visit to a collector's shop, but I had a good feeling about the owner having found what I wanted. I quickly returned to the car to store the frames and other items I had purchased before back toward the shopping district.

As I was walking, I looked up and noticed I was standing out front of Tiffany's & Co. I made the split second decision to go in and see if I could get one of the items on Carlisle's list for Alice here. I quickly walked over to the first available sales clerk.

"I'm looking for a simple, but elegant gift for my sister. Do you think you could help me find something?" I asked in a soft pleasant voice.

"I'd be happy too." Young female clerk replied.

As we were looking over a few items, the store manager noticed me and quickly came over. I remember him from when Emmett, Edward and I were hear shopping for Rosalie's engagement ring.

"Ah, Mr. Cullen how are you doing? You just missed your brother. He was here shopping for your sister," The manager said.

"I'm doing well thank you. I am also shopping for her. You wouldn't by chance have any suggestions?" I replied.

"Carlisle told me I was not to tell you what items he bought, should you happen to come here. However, I do have two items that would match nicely with Carlisle's purchase if you are interested?" The manager added.

"I would be, and there is no need to show me the items. Please have them gift wrapped," I replied.

The store manager returned a few minutes later with my purchase wrapped and ready to go. I handed over the cash to complete the sales transaction, and then left the store.

My last stop was a collector's shop where I had been a few months earlier looking for a specific item. The owner was trying to find an original copy of the sheet music for _"Clair De Lune"_by Claude Debussy.

The piece of music was one of Edward's favorites. If the shop owner had gotten the item then I knew it would make Edward's day. I entered the store and Mr. Stewart was sitting behind the counter. He looked up as I approached the counter.

"Hello Mr. Cullen!" Mr. Stewart said excitedly. I could feel that he was very excited and pleased to see me.

"Hello Mr. Stewart. How are you doing?"

"I am doing well. I have that item you asked me about."

I smiled happily, and after a bit of negotiating I walked out with the six sheets of music to _"Clair De Lune_".

I meet Carlisle at the car a few minutes later. He had also completed his shopping, and we headed home.

I told Carlisle my idea for Edward's gift and he was very pleased by it. He also offered to take Edward hunting as soon as we got home so that I could work on the gift without Edward seeing what I was doing in my thoughts.

I hated to bring this up, but I was sort of hoping that Carlisle might have some insight to help me deal with the overwhelming feelings I sometimes felt toward Michaela's death. "I don't mean to open up old wounds, but I was sort of hoping you might have some insight to help me better deal with Michaela's death," I whispered.

Carlisle gave me a sad smile, but proceeded to speak. "I wish I had a miracle answer for you, Jasper. At first I tried not to think about it, and forced myself to read and study. It kept my mind mostly distracted. I would still think about my Father and Amelia after her death. Eventually I decided that if I was going to remember them that I would remember the good things that we shared."

I hadn't thought of that until now but it did make sense. I realized I was smiling as I thought about some of the stories Michaela had told me of our childhood. It was the first time I smiled while thinking of her. "That actually helps," I said.

Carlisle smiled at me, "Happy memories are the best."

We arrived home a few hours later and unloaded our purchases. We were met at the door by a very angry looking Alice. "Why didn't either of you buy me a Christmas gift?" Alice demanded.

"We did buy you Christmas gifts," I replied with a smile. I had a very strong feeling that my idea had worked perfectly.

"No, you didn't. I would have seen," Alice pouted.

"We did buy you Christmas gifts," Carlisle said holding up three gift-wrapped boxes.

Alice's eyes opened wide and looked between the two of us. "How . . . how did you do that without me seeing," Alice demanded.

"Not telling," I said remembering how we had fooled Alice.

Edward busted out laughing. "That was brilliant!"

Alice gave us all the evil eye. "Tell me!" Alice demanded again.

I shook my head and flitted away laughing. "Jasper!"

Alice trailed after me, but I ignored her. I could hear Carlisle suggest a short hunting trip to Edward. Alice continued to pester me about telling her how we had managed to avoid her seeing us buying her gifts, but I just continued to ignore her until she stomped away pouting.

There was no way I was going to tell her how I screwed with her visions. As long as no one else knew how her visions worked they would never figure out how to mess them up. I'm sure that Peter's help with distracting her added to the equation, but I wasn't about to spill.

Edward came and gave me a quick kiss bye before leaving with Carlisle and Emmett for a short hunting trip.

I was now sitting on the floor of my study surrounded by the various supplies needed to assemble Edward's gift. I had been sitting here for ten minutes trying to decide how best to lay out the sheets of music, which frame I should use first, and which color matting would work beside with each frame. I was totally and completely out of my element. I didn't know what went with what and I was starting to panic.

"Jasper, is everything alright?" Esme asked from the doorway. Her voice contained a worried tone, and it was then that I realized I was projecting my panic out into the house.

"Oh crap. I'm sorry, Esme. I'm working on Edward's gift, but I'm lost and don't know where to start," I said in a rush of words and gesturing toward the frames and mats.

"Calm down, Jasper. Tell me what you want to do, and maybe I can help," Esme said as he placed a calming hand on my shoulder.

"A collector found a complete set of the sheet music to _'Clair Du Lune'_ for me. I was planning on framing the sheets, but that's where I'm having a problem. I don't know which frame or matting to use together or what order I should use the frames. I also have that photo of Edward and me to frame up as well," I replied.

"Alright, give me a moment to look over what you have," Esme said in a calm voice. That helped to settle my panic. Things like this were Esme's realm of expertise. Point me in the direction of a battle and I'll come up with the best strategy to win it for you. Sit me down in the middle of a room with craft supplies and I lose my head.

I watched as Esme looked over the various frames, and matting I had picked out. I was really hoping that she could help me. Esme took the long silver frame and dark blue matting and set it aside. "We'll use those for the photo of you and Edward. Blue always goes well pair with silver," Esme said

Esme then arranged the frames starting with the dark wooden frame, which had a simple design. "The start of the music is simple, and I think we should match the frames with the flow of the music," Esme added as she selected the lightest shade of green matting I had purchased.

The second frame was the most intricate of the three frames, and it was also the darkest of the three. She matched it up with the darkest green matting. The last frame was simpler then the second, but more detailed then the first. It had tinges of red in the wood, and since the only remaining matting was a red it was paired with the frame.

I then watched as Esme took a few quick measurements and marked out the areas to be cut from the matting. She then left with the matting and returned a few minutes later with all four pieces precisely cut. Esme then helped me assemble the rest of the pieces. After all the frames were wrapped in the Christmas paper, I put them under the tree. I gave Esme a tight hug and thanked her profusely for helping me.

"You're very welcome, Jasper. I know that Edward will just love the gifts," Esme said.

"Thank you, Esme. I hope you are right," I replied.

I went to finished packing and getting everything ready for my surprise. Alice stopped by to annoy me some more about telling her, but gave up after an hour of near constant begging, pleading and whining. I almost gave in, but held firm.

Edward and Carlisle did not return for nearly another two hours. Thankfully Alice spared me any further harassment, but she did give me the evil eye every time I passed by her. I knew it was annoying her to the extreme. I nearly broke shortly before Edward returned, but Peter walked in just before I made my decision.

"I can't believe you still haven't told her yet. I don't know anyone who can deny Alice what she wants," Peter remarked.

That felt like a challenge to me, and I took it without a second thought.

"NO!" Alice screamed.

Peter and I both jumped at the sound of Alice's voice.

"He was just about to tell me!" Alice continued to scream at Peter.

I watched as Peter cringed before Alice. It would have been hilarious to witness, and I would have been on the floor laughing my ass off if it weren't for the murderous expression that encompassed Alice's face.

Here was this barely five foot tall girl who was glaring up at this six foot one tall boy with the most deadly look I'd seen on anyone's face.

"How could you, Peter! You had to have known he was going to tell me. Your timing was too perfect," Alice accused.

"I swear, Ally. I didn't know," Peter pleaded, but his emotions told a different story.

'_Liar,'_ I thought to myself.

Alice just glared at him, then turned and began to leave the room. "No sex for a month."

"No! Alice, please you can't do that to me," Peter begged as he chased after her.

I tuned them out and turned my attention to my glorious angel who just walked in the door. I leapt out of my chair and landed with my arms wrapped tightly around my angel. I pressed my lips to his and he returned my kiss with fervor.

I heard Emmett whistle behind us, but paid him no mind.

"Are you two going to go at it right there on the living room floor?" Emmett teased.

I slowly pulled my lips away from Edward, and turned toward Emmett. "I wouldn't want to embarrass you in front of Rose. Edward's equipment is rather large, and I wouldn't want you to feel inadequate," I smirked.

I knew if Edward had been human he'd be bright red with the amount of embarrassment he was feeling. I just hugged him to me tight. "I love you," I whispered.

Emmett just glared at me, but held his tongue. "We'll see you all Christmas morning, but right now I need some alone time with Edward," I said while pulling Edward toward the door.

"Don't break the bed," Emmett teased, but was quickly silenced from saying more by Rosalie smacking him in the back of his head. Edward quickly turned to Alice, "And not a word from you either. The fact that you've been watching Jasper and I have sex in your visions is creepy. No need to share the details with the family."

"Alice, they're like our brothers that is kind of gross," Rosalie grimaced.

"You wouldn't say that if it were Emmett and Peter." Alice countered.

I could feel Rosalie's lust spike for a second. "Ugh. We're leaving!"

I grabbed Edward's hand and pulled him quickly out the door. We got into Edward's car, with me in the driver's seat. It wasn't often that I got to drive, and since I was not being forthcoming about our trip Edward had to let me drive.

"Where are we going? I thought you didn't want to do anything this year?" Edward asked.

I shook my head, "I know I said that, but it was so that I could plan out this surprise. Please let me surprise you with what I have planned."

"Alright, I won't push for answers," Edward replied.

The rest of the drive was mostly silent. I tried not to think too far ahead about our destination, and Edward never let on that he knew where we were going until we arrived at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel.

One of the bellboys came out and gathered our luggage. Edward followed me to the counter to check in. "Reservation for Cullen," I said.

It only took a few minutes to process our check in. The bellboy led the way to our suite. We boarded the lift to our floor. This would be a torturous few minutes as the lift climbed slowly to our floor with the human bellboy the only other person on the lift with us.

I hated such small spaces, because the scent was impossible to ignore. I had stopped breathing before we got on the lift, but the knowledge of how good the smell would be was etched in my mind. I closed my eyes and prayed for the lift to move faster.

A moment later we arrived to our floor and followed the bellboy down to our suite. I handed him a tip as soon as we were in the suite so that he'd leave more quickly. As soon as he left, I gave Edward a chaste kiss on the lips.

"I'm going to prepare your first surprise," I said, while translating _"Wuthering Heights'_ into Spanish.

Edward sighed, "Okay, Jazz. I get the hint. I will stay out of your head."

I smiled and gave him another quick kiss before heading off to the bathroom. I picked up my toiletry bag on the way, and pulled out the bottle of bubble bath that Esme had purchased for me.

I turned on the hot water and allow the tub to fill as I added the solution. When it reached the right level, I turned it off and stripped out of my clothes. I then stood in the doorway to the rest of the suite and called out to Edward.

"Do you want to join me for a bath?" I asked.

Edward's eyes shot over to my naked body and I could feel the lust rise within him. He nodded and flitted over to me. I grabbed both of his hands and held them by his sides and placed a soft kiss upon his lips. Edward whimpered as I pulled us toward the tub. I helped him out of his clothes as we neared the tub.

I slipped into the tub, and then a very naked Edward slipped in front of me. I watched his cute tight ass as he sat down. I wrapped my arms around his chest and pulled him to me. My lips found his neck and I began to lay soft kisses as the water warmed our cold bodies.

"I love you," I said as my lips near his left ear.

Edward moaned, "I love you too, Jazz."

I lay against the back of the tub and pulled Edward toward me so that he rested against my chest. I closed my eyes and just immersed myself in the moment of holding Edward in my arms.

I rubbed my hands over his chest and stomach. I was enjoying the moment, but time was slipping by and I had a lot planned for this evening. "Wet your hair for me, please."

Edward leaned forward and dunked his head under the water for a moment and wet his hair. I picked up the bottle of shampoo, and pour a small amount into my hand. I rubbed my hands together after putting down the bottle. I began to work the product into Edward's hair and use my fingers to massage his scalp.

Edward leaned his head forward and closed his eyes. A soft moan escaped his lips, but it was almost inaudible. I smiled to myself because I was having the effect for which I had hoped.

After several minutes Edward sighed and I let him wash away the shampoo. He turned to face me after he had finished and smiled, "That felt amazing. You have to let me do that to you." Edward said.

"Later, I want to try something before we go out." I replied.

(...) **A/N: Due to FFn's Ratings policy this section of the story can be read at TWCS. A link is available in my Author's Profile.** (...)

I quickly dried off and headed into the bedroom to dress, and laid out Edward's clothes. I slipped into my jockeys*, and then slipped on my pants. I then slipped on an undershirt and a button up shirt. I had just finished buttoning it up, and tucking it into my pants when Edward emerged from the bathroom. His wild bronze hair was still a mess. It was one of the things I loved about him.

Edward gave me a curious look when he noticed I was dressed for outdoor winter weather. I pointed to the clothes I laid out for him, while slipping on my boots. "We're going back to Central Park. There is an activity there that I'd like to try," I replied.

Edward thought for a moment about what activities were available at the park. "Ice Skating?"

I nodded, "I've always wanted to try it. I don't think I ever did it as a child. Living in Texas doesn't provide many opportunities for winter activities."

Edward got dressed in the warm looking outfit that I had laid out for him. Alice had helped me by picking out all the clothes. Thankfully she had helped me before I went shopping for her Christmas gift. I cringe at the thought of asking her to help me after that.

We made the short thirty minutes walk over to Central Park and arrived during the early evening hours. The lights of the park filtered through the winter scenery nicely.

We rented ice skates, and spent the next couple of hours just skating around on the lake. I found it to be quite fun, but at a human pace it wasn't as exciting as I had hoped. One thing that I had noticed as we skated around was the number of human couples. When I saw a couple kiss, I would ache to be able to do that with Edward in public.

"You don't have to kiss me in public to show me your love," Edward whispered.

"I know that, Edward. It's just that we already have to hide because of what we are, and having to hide my love for you . . ." I sigh, unwilling to finish the sentence.

"I know," Edward said. "Alice had a vision that she shared with me of a time in the future where we won't have to hide our love."

"I know. She's told me about it in great detail. Well at least in as much detail as she can see, it's still fuzzy. I just wish that it were now, instead of decades away," I replied.

We ended our annual tradition by listening to Christmas carolers. The park was beginning to empty of the humans as the time grew late. The few people left in the park that we did cross were either rough looking, homeless or the occasional lovebirds who didn't know better then to be out at this time of night.

"I guess we don't know any better," Edward joked.

I chuckled, "No, we know better." - I paused and smiled - "But I do like to think of us as lovers out on a stroll."

Edward grinned, "Me too."

"I look forward to the day that we can do this and hold hands," I whispered.

Edward slipped his right hand into my left hand. "Edward, what are you doing?" I asked in an alarmed whisper.

"Relax, Jazz. There is no one around," Edward replied. "And I'll know if anyone gets close."

I tried to relax, but it was harder then I would have thought. I didn't want trouble, but I was enjoying the touch of Edward's hand. Slowly I allowed myself to relax, and the feel of Edward's calm flowing through our joined hands helped. I committed this moment to my prefect memory to recall later.

We walked for near an hour without encountering anyone. Until I could hear fast-moving footsteps behind us and I was about to release Edward's hand, but he just tightened his grip.

"What are you queers doing here?" the immortal behind us said. His voice was vaguely familiar.

This time I pulled my hand from Edwards and turned to teach this jerk some manners. However, there before us stood Garrett with a huge grin.

"Fuck you, Garrett," I replied.

"Sorry, Jasper, but I don't swing that way," Garrett replied. Garrett had learned about our relationship when we returned to New England. He had been completely accepting of us, but enjoyed teasing us.

"Ugh, it wasn't an offer ya stupid yank," I groaned.

Garrett closed the distance now that he was sure I wouldn't rip his head off.

"How are you, Garrett?" Edward greeted.

"I'm doing well. It has been a while since I've seen the two of you. How are things for the Cullen clan?" Garrett replied.

"The Cullen clan is doing well, and we finally found Peter," Edward answered.

"You finally found him?" Garrett said with a smile.

"More like we found each other, he and his mate were looking for Carlisle. We had a small run in with James, and Victoria. We sent them running away with their tails between their legs," I replied with a grin.

"Well it's about time someone teaches that parasite a lesson," Garrett added.

"I should have ripped his head off, but I was in a merciful mood that day. I just hope I don't come to regret it."

"Shame, I'm sure he it would have been a better look for him," Garrett grinned. "Are you two out hunting?"

I was seriously hoping that he wasn't implying that thought he meant by that statement. Garrett knew well and good that we did not hunt in the way others of our kind did.

"No, you know we don't hunt that way Garrett." Edward replied. That confirmed my thoughts.

"Of course, I just did not want to intrude in case you had planned to indulge," Garrett replied.

"Mountain Lions are an indulgence for us," I said.

Garrett's lips puckered and I saw him repress a look of disgust.

"its better then the alternative," - Garrett raised an eyebrow - "At least for me. Sometimes a gift can be a curse," I added.

"I see, say no more," Garrett replied. "It was great to see the two of you again. Perhaps our paths will cross again soon."

"Merry Christmas, Garrett," Edward said.

Garrett nodded and bid his farewell to us.

"Let's go back to the hotel. I have a promise to keep," I said.

Edward grinned, and took my hand leading the way. We released hands when we exited the park and started toward the hotel.

We walked quickly, but at a human pace to the hotel. We were greeted by the hotel staff as we entered and made our way over to the lifts and up to our floor.

(...) **A/N: Due to FFn's Ratings policy this section of the story can be read at TWCS. A link is available in my Author's Profile.** (...)

We spent most of the next day just cuddling and making love in front of the fire place in our suite. It was one of the best days I had with Edward in a while. We watched the snow fall outside of our window in the late afternoon.

I finally told Edward that we had to shower and dress for the last surprise I had planned for him. We showered separately; because I was afraid we'd end up getting carried away and mess up my plans.

"Where are we going?" Edward asked as he started getting dressed.

I just grinned widely, but said nothing. Edward had to know it was somewhere formal, because we were dressed up in our tuxes.

"Ugh!" Edward complained. "You're not going to tell me, are you?"

I shook my head, while still grinning. I picked up my bow tie and headed into the bathroom to use the mirror.

It was a good thing that the myths about vampires and mirrors were just that, myths. Can you imagine how difficult it would be to tie a bow tie without a mirror?

Edward came in as I finished up. On my way out I admired how Edward looked in his tux. His pale skin contrasted nicely with the black tux. The color contract tended to make us look more like vampires then any other clothes we were, but I liked it.

Minutes later Edward and I were walking to our destination. It wasn't until Carnegie Hall was in sight that Edward figured out where we were going.

"We're going to the Philharmonic?" Edward said in question.

"Yes," I replied, and watched as Edward smiled.

We entered the building and I presented the usher with our tickets. We were directed toward the balcony seats I had purchased. While not the best seats in the house, they were the best for us. I had purchased several seats around us so that we would not have humans too close.

"Thank you," Edward said.

I turned my head and smiled at Edward lovingly. "You're welcome."

A short time later the lights dimmed and the musicians took their seats. Conductor John Barbirolli stepped up to conductor's post and began the evening's program. The lights went off, except for the area over the musicians, which were brightly lit.

The first performance was _"The Carol of the Bells"_. As the song began, I slipped my left hand into Edward's right hand. In the dark no one would see us holding hands. Edward kept his focus on the musicians but I saw his lips turn into a smile. _'I love you, Edward. I'm sorry for what I put you through,' _I thought.

Edward squeezed my hand, and I felt his love for me. In a quiet whisper that only immortal ears could hear, "I have already forgiven you. I know that you are doing all this to either gain my forgiveness, which you already have, or as a way of making it up to me. I am very happy with the surprise, but it was unnecessary. Thank you nonetheless,"

Edward squeezed my hand again, and we turned our attention back to the performance. _"Joy to the World"_ followed _"The Carol of the Bells"_. This was the first song that Edward and I had heard together. I was reminded of how nearly a decade ago we had met on that cold Chicago night.

"I can't believe I tackled you that night," Edward muttered in a very quiet voice.

'_Neither can I, but I'm glad you did. You can tackle me anytime you want,'_ I replied with my thoughts.

Edward grinned, "I'm very happy that I met you."

We had come a long way, but I still loved him as much today as I did when I realized my true feelings for him. I was looking forward to the next several decades to come.

The program came to an end a little over an hour later with _"Silent Night"_. I released Edward's hand when the audience stood to give a round of applause. As the lights came on, we gather up our coats and headed out of the music hall.

There was one last thing I wanted to do before we left the city. Edward had read my thoughts and knew what I wanted to do.

I stopped outside the stone and marble structure that was Saint Patrick's Cathedral. They offered a service of allowing people to light a prayer candle. I hesitated a moment at the door before entering. Edward followed a short distance behind me.

The church was slowly beginning to fill for the midnight service, but we would not be staying for that. I noticed the donation box beside the candles as I approached, and dropped in the first bill I had pulled out of my pocket. Raised behind the candles was a status of a woman. The inscription read "Virgin Mary". I found this sort of fitting since I was praying for my sister. I picked one of the wicks and used a lit candle to light it. I then lit one of the unlit candles, and extinguished the flame on the wick before placing it in a nearby metal tray.

I said a silent prayer, and turned to leave. What I had not expected, was to see that Edward had also lit a candle in the station next to where I had lit mine.

"For my parents," Edward said when I walked over to him. "I don't really care what happens to me, so long as they are at peace."

I had learned it was useless to argue with Edward about religious matters. I hope that if we tried to make an amends for the wrongs we committed, that maybe that would earn us a bit of leniency; if there was an afterlife for us. Edward was convinced there was not, but I wasn't totally sure.

"I had planned on spending another night with you here, but if it's okay with you I would like to go home. I think we should spend tonight with family," I said.

Edward agreed, and we headed back to the hotel.

"It's probably best that we are heading back now. I'm sure Esme would have a tough time keeping Emmett from opening up gifts before we got back," Edward said with a chuckle.

"She told me she'd make him eat rabbit for the next three months if he tries anything," I laughed.

"Oh, I know. That why when we passed by FAO Schwartz yesterday I made you stop," Edward said.

I remembered stopping there on our way to Central Park to go Ice Skating. Edward had refused to let me go in with him, and would not let me see what he had bought at the time. Now I was even more intrigued to see what he had purchased.

"I'll show you in the car on the way home," Edward said.

After checking out of the hotel we left for home. Edward tossed the bag from FAO Schwartz to me as he got in the car. I laughed as I pulled out a large stuffed teddy bear.

"You can be mean when you want to be," I said while laughing. I knew he had purchased this as a way of teasing Emmett. Emmett's favorite was grizzly bear, and if he had to eat rabbit for three months this would be the mother of all teasing.

Edward just grinned widely. I dug further in the back and stopped laughing when I pulled out the next teddy bear. It was an all white teddy bear with a red sweater that said _"I love you"_, in white letters.

"You bought this one for me?" I asked.

Edward nodded slowly and watched me for a reaction. My lips curved into a smile, I loved it. I knew exactly where I planned to display it. I'm sure that Emmett and Peter would tease me about it, but I could still kick their asses blindfolded.

I gave Edward a kiss on the cheek, which made him smile. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. I'm glad you like it," He replied.

*Jockeys is a term used in the 1930s to refer to briefs (underwear).


	19. Laughter

**Chapter 19: Laugther**

_Laughter (-noun) an expression or appearance of merriment or amusement._

We had returned home shortly after two in the morning. Most of the family was gathered in the parlor where Esme had setup, yet again, one of the most beautiful Christmas tree I had laid eyes upon. It was the perfect size for the room, and I remember how difficult it had been to find it.

~ * ~ flashback ~ * ~

"_No dear that one is too small, it needs to be bigger," Esme said._

_How the hell I got stuck going Christmas tree hunting with Esme was beyond me. Emmett or Peter should be out here doing this; after all they are the youngest members of the family. Emmett must have tipped Peter off to how painful it can be to go Christmas tree hunting with Esme, because the moment she mentioned it they were gone and out of sight. Even Edward left me high and dry! 'Ugh.'_

_I spotted a bigger tree that looked like it could be what Esme wanted, but we had already been at it for three hours and she didn't like any of the trees I pointed out. "Mom, how about this one?" I asked._

_Esme came over to inspect it, but quickly turned it down when she saw the backside of the tree was out of proportion. I wanted to tell her to put that side against the wall, but that wouldn't do, and I knew Esme planned to put the tree in the near middle of the parlor._

~ * ~ flashback ~ * ~

It had taken another three hours to find the perfect tree. I had to admit that after Alice and Esme finished decorating it that it was beautiful.

I continued to admire the tree as Edward and I lay on the sofa. Edward was beneath me and I lay with my head upon his silent chest. He had one arm wrapped around me, with his hand resting on my stomach. His other hand rested on my right hand, which I had wrapped around the teddy bear he had given me earlier.

Emmett and Peter had been about to tease me about it earlier, but one quick menacing glare had shut them up. Alice and Rosalie thought it was adorable, and pestered their mates about their lack of stuffed animals.

It was actually a nice relief since Alice had started in again the moment we walked through the door. She almost made me regret my decision to come home early.

~ * ~ flashback ~ * ~

"_Carlisle won't tell me what he bought me!" Alice whined to Peter when we entered the house. She then shot me a deadly look. I guess it's a good thing looks can't kill._

"_Alice, leave your brother alone. He's not going to tell you," Esme called out from her drawing room._

"_Yes, he will I've seen it," Alice said, but I was skeptical. There was a slight wave of hesitation in her emotions as she spoke. Usually this was a clear sign of trying to hide something._

"_You have?" Edward asked with a grin._

_When I saw Alice grimace I knew with certainty that she was trying to pull one over on me. I resolved not to say a word about it, and chose to ignore her. Alice had other plans, and she was not about to give up. She tried a new plan of attack that was sure to get answers if I didn't play my cards right._

"_Did you make the decision yourself?" Alice asked._

_I just grinned at her, but said nothing. I was worried that if I spoke she might detect a lie in my speech._

"_That's not an answer," Alice said glaring at me._

"_Of course it's not, but this is more fun," I replied keeping the grin on my face._

~ * ~ flashback ~ * ~

It was now going on two and a half hours since we had returned home and Alice still had not found out what she was getting. I didn't even know what she was getting, but I wasn't about to admit to it. If I revealed that specific information I would be giving away too much.

Emmett was again sitting by the tree, and trying to casually see where his gifts where positioned.

"Emmett McCarty Cullen, so help me if you touch one of those gifts its rabbit for three months!" Esme called out from her drawing room.

I suppressed a laugh as watched Emmett shuffle away from the tree.

"Dad, it's after midnight. Please can open just one present," Emmett whined.

I swear you'd think it Emmett was an eight years-old instead of twenty-four year –old the way he was whining.

Carlisle held up his hands and shook his head. "Oh no, you need to work that out with your mother. Christmas is her holiday."

I knew there was a reason Carlisle was the wisest of us. Never pick a fight that you'll lose, and never pick a fight with your mate.

"Emmett, I have one you can open now." Edward said.

"Edward!" Esme called out.

"Its ok mom, it's not under the tree. It's something I picked up last minute." Edward called back.

I felt Esme's curiosity as to what Edward was up too. She knew that he had finished his Christmas shopping early, so this was very unusual.

"Alright, I'll allow it, but nothing else until sunrise, Emmett." Esme said.

"Awesome! Where is it?" Emmett said excitedly as he jumped to his feet.

"Wait here, I'll go get it," Edward said.

I lifted myself off of him, and that's when I remembered what Edward had bought Emmett. _'Oh this is going to be priceless!'_

Edward flitted away to our room, and returned a few minutes later with Esme joining him. Esme's previous feelings of curiosity had been replaced with amusement. Add to that the still camera she had with her and I knew Edward had told her about the _gift._

Edward handed the newly wrapped present to Emmett. He then returned to join me on the sofa, resuming his previous position. He couldn't repress the huge grin that was on his face as Emmett tore into the package.

Esme snapped a few pictures, and she got the perfect picture of the expression on Emmett's face as he pulled the teddy bear out of the box, and looked at Edward.

"What the hell?" Emmett said.

"Language, Emmett," Esme scolded.

The expression on his face was somewhere between confusion and irritation. It had replaced his previous expression of utter joy he had a moment before. I just couldn't help but burst out laughing.

"I thought you might like a reminder of what you'll be missing for the next three months," Edward said as he broke down laughing.

I couldn't help it and slipped off the sofa onto the floor clutching my stomach as I laughed harder then I had in a long time.

"Oh I know the perfect place to display it," Rosalie said as she took the bear from Emmett.

Emmett's face of disbelief brought about another round of hysterical laughter from me that soon caught up with everyone else in the room.

Esme was the only one not laughing, but the grin on her face said she was extremely amused. "Perhaps next time you'll wait to open presents until its time," Esme said on our way out of the room.

"I'll get you for this Edward!" Emmett said, and then stormed off after Rosalie who had taken the bear to their room.

I slowly sat up and rested my head on the seat of the sofa, and calmed down. If I had been human, I'd have been crying from all the laughing. Edward had also stopped laughing, but snickered when Alice suddenly shot out of the room.

"Where is she going?" I asked.

"Oh, you'll see," Edward grinned.

Rosalie and Emmett returned to the parlor and he sat down in the over stuffed chair opposite Edward and I. He was still pouting, while Rosalie was still grinning and still carrying the teddy bear. Emmett tried several times to reach for it, but Rosalie kept it just out of his reach.

Alice finally returned a few minutes later. "Rosalie, can I see the teddy bear for just a moment."

Now I was curious what did Alice have planned? My question was answered a moment later when she handed the bear back to Rosalie. It now had a sweater that read _Grizzly_.

"Now I know why I had to buy that sweater," Alice laughed.

Emmett looked furious, and Rosalie was suppressing her amusement. Edward and I weren't doing so well at that, and both of us were in a fit of laughter again. Carlisle was amused but just shook his head at our childish antics.

Everyone finally calmed down and I climbed back onto the sofa to lay with Edward. I was lying with my head on his chest again listening to his breathing when Esme entered the room, followed by Peter.

Peter had been out of the room during out childish antics, but he had no doubt heard everything. "Nice teddy bear there, Em," Peter teased.

"Oh come on, not you too!" Emmett complained.

Peter shrugged and joined Alice on the other sofa.

"What do you say we take a bit of pity on Emmett and start opening presents?" Esme asked Carlisle.

Emmett's expression brightened at the thought of opening the presents. However, it was quickly crushed by Carlisle.

"If you are ready dear, but I can wait a little longer," Carlisle replied completely serious.

I knew that Carlisle was not serious at all, and he was just as anxious to open gifts as the rest of us. However, we were smart enough not to let onto it too much. I had to turn my head and bury my face in Edward's chest to keep from showing the smile on my face.

"Please mom," Emmett pleaded. I turned to see the most tortured expression he had yet tried.

Esme was falling for it, and I could feel her resolve wavering. I quickly debating sending her a wave of determination to hold fast, but she answered before I could decide, "Alright, but we're going to take turns. I want to see what everyone got," Esme said.

We all quickly gathered around, and sat on the floor in front of Carlisle's chair. This was a tradition that Edward and I had started early on when we joined Carlisle and Esme. In a way it made us feel like little kids.

Carlisle reached over to the end table and picked up the small bowl that contained everyone's name written on a small slip of paper. This is how we chose the order we opened gifts.

"Jasper, please pick a name." Carlisle said as he held the bowl above my head.

I reached in and pulled out the first slip that my fingers touched. I read the name after unfolding the slip of paper. "Esme."

Emmett sighed, and I couldn't help my smile. I sort of felt sorry for him.

"Open mine first," Carlisle said to Esme.

She nodded and Alice handed down a small box, which Edward gave to Carlisle. The box was small and wrapped in gold paper from Tiffany & Company so I knew it was a piece of jewelry. Esme examined it before slowly lifting it from Carlisle's hand. She took her time unwrapping the gift. She was being extra careful not to damage the paper. There was a lot of amusement in her emotions, and if I couldn't help but think she was doing this on purpose to prolong Emmett's agony. Edward seemed to confirm my hypothesis with the smirk that graced his lips.

She finally opened the box revealing a beautiful gold ring with very intricate weaves around six stones of various colors. It only took me a moment to realize that it was a _mother's ring. _It seemed that Esme also realized it just as quickly as she gasped.

Two other things I noticed were that the stones used were the traditional versus the more modern selection that jewelers were promoting. The other was the order of the stones.

Alexandrite for the month of June represented Edward. Though he had been changed by Carlisle in September of 1918, he was born in the month of June. We still celebrated his birthday against his wishes, but I liked the excuse to buy him a gift. He was constantly buying me gifts, and it was one of the few excuses I had to buy him a gift.

The next stone was a blue Zircon, and this one represented me. It was kind of ironic, because I was born in the month of December, and joined the Cullen family some eighty plus years later during the same month.

A yellow Jasper stone followed in the next position. Late March had been when Rosalie was changed and joined our family. Rosalie never did tell us when her birthday was, and refused adamantly to let us celebrate it. None of us ever pressed her on it, and even Emmett respected her wishes to keep her birthday uncelebrated.

Emerald was the next stone, which is for the month of May. Emmett's bear hunting trip, which nearly cost him his life, ended with his joining our family. It was also the start of seeing Rosalie happy.

The last two stones were Sapphire and Amethyst. These two stone represented Alice and Peter. We knew so little of Alice's past, which is why I assumed Carlisle chose Sapphire to represent her. It was one of her favorite stones. Peter was born in February, which is represented by Amethyst.

Esme's eyes became wet with venom as she admired the ring in complete silence for several minutes. No one said a word as we all watched her intently.

Esme was truly mom to all of us, and she loved us all as her children. This small gift from Carlisle meant a lot to her; probably more then any other gift he would ever give her.

Carlisle gentle removed the ring from the box and slipped it on the third finger of Esme's left hand, so that it rested just before her wedding ring. We all looked away when they kissed a little too passionately for us kids.

Emmett made a sound clearing his throat when it didn't look like they were going to end their kiss anytime soon. Esme whispered a soft thank you as she admired the ring again.

I picked the next name, again chose the first slip of paper that my hands touched. "Edward."

Alice knew that I wanted Edward to open mine first, and handed over the four wrapped gifts that I had placed there only a couple of days ago.

"That's more then one!" Emmett protested.

"It's one gift; they are just wrapped separately because it was easier that way," I replied.

Emmett mumbled something that I didn't quite catch, but I choose to ignore him. I was really nervous now to know if Edward would like the gift I had picked out for him.

"I wasn't sure what to get you, but I hope you like it. I had help to make it perfect, but if you don't like it I can get you something else . . ." Thankfully Edward interrupted me before I could really make a fool of myself.

"Jazz, relax. I'm sure I'll love it," Edward said.

I heard Peter chuckle, and snapped my head in his direction giving him a menacing glare. He tried to cover his laugh with a cough, but no one was buying it.

Edward touched my left hand and I turned back my attention to him. He smiled at me as he slow unwrapped the first of the frames.

The first one the photo of the two of us taken earlier this past year. Edward grinned, "It came out better then I could have hoped. Did you pick out the frame?"

I nodded, "But I had some help assembling it," I said this while looking at Esme.

Edward moved on and unwrapped the next frame. He stared intently at the two sheets of music for several seconds, several very long agonizing seconds for me. "Is this? . . . Where did you find this?" Edward asked.

"What is it?" Rosalie asked.

"Its sheet music for _'Clair De Lune'_ by Claude Debussy, and… it looks original," Edward replied. He was astonished.

I nodded, "It is, and there is more."

Edward quickly unwrapped the next two frames and was shocked to see that I had gotten the whole set. "How did you manage to get it all?"

"Mr. Stewart, in New York found them for me. It was just the sheet music, but I got the frames and Esme helped me finish it," I replied.

Edward was smiling, and leaned over and gave me a kiss. "Thank you. I know exactly where I'm going to hang these."

"They would look wonderful if you hung them up in the music room above the piano," Alice suggested.

Edward smiled, "Exactly where I was thinking of hanging them."

I was relieved that Edward liked the gift.

The next name I picked was Rosalie, who opened the gift from Alice and Peter. It was six boxes all wrapped individually, but tied together as with a silver ribbon.

All the boxes contained clothing from two different French designers. The first box was a hat from a designer by the name of Coco Chanel, at least that's what Alice claimed. The next two boxes were day dresses designed by Madeleine Vionnet. The final three boxes were again from Chanel, but were evening gowns. Rosalie was ecstatic about them, and couldn't wait to show them off.

I picked Emmett's name next and was nearly overwhelmed but his sudden excitement. He chose a box which contained a gift I had purchased.

"You might as well grab the other two boxes beneath that one. They are all similar," I said, while looking at Esme for approval. She nodded, and let Emmett take the three packages.

These were more gag gifts then meant to be serious. Edward and I have decided to purchase a serious gift for Emmett and Rosalie to share together.

Emmett opened up the first box, to find the board game _Monopoly_. Emmet was grinning hugely. "You and I are so playing this later," Emmett said to Peter. I watched Peter's facial expression turn into a slight grimace.

The other two boxes contained the board games _Sorry, _and_ The Checkered Game of Life._ I was very surprised to see that Emmett was all for playing the three board games. I had actually anticipated that he would be annoyed with the gift.

Rosalie just shook her head at her husband, and motioned for us to move on.

I picked Alice's name next and she wasted no time retrieving the gifts that Carlisle and I purchased for her. Esme was about to protest, but Carlisle explained that he believed it was a set. Alice gave us all a curious look.

"What do you mean you believe it's a set? Did you not purchase it?" Alice asked.

"Of course I purchased it, but I'm not totally sure what Jasper purchased," Carlisle replied.

This was a good tactical route to take. Carlisle gave nothing away, and it kept Alice wonder. The added benefit was that Carlisle was telling the truth, in a way. He did not know what I purchased, nor did I know what he purchased. However, Alice didn't know that we had each purchased the others' gift for her.

Alice eyed us suspiciously as she began unwrapping the gift that was meant to be from me. I knew it was from Tiffany & Company, but that was all that I knew.

Alice opened the box to reveal a silver bracelet with a row of sapphires. She smiled happily and Peter helped her place it on her wrist.

"Thank you, Jazzy!" Alice said excitedly.

"Was it worth the wait?" I grinned, as I felt her excitement.

She grimaced, "I suppose." I could tell that she was very happy with the gift.

I smirked, but said nothing as she opened the gift that was meant to be from Carlisle. Inside was a silver necklace with a solitaire sapphire pendant. Again, Peter helped her put it on.

"Thank you, Dad," Alice said as he flitted over and gave Carlisle a kiss on the cheek.

"You're welcome," Carlisle smiled brightly.

She grinned happily, but I could tell she was still trying to figure out how we managed to purchase the items without her having a vision. It would surely be on her mind for sometime.

I pulled my name out of the bowl next. Edward handed a small flat box to me that was not from under the tree.

"This was my idea, but everyone wanted to be a part of it. So this is a gift from the entire family," Edward said.

I unwrapped the box, which turned out to be a flat wooden box made of oak. It had gold hardware on the box, and was inscribed on a small gold plague as follows: _Michaela Whitlock Branson Foundation for Literacy._

Inside the box contained the completed paperwork for forming a nonprofit foundation in my sister's name. Michaela had been a big support of teaching people to read, and often volunteered her time early in life teaching others.

There was also a bank statement showing that the foundation has seven million dollars. "We each contributed the same amount," Edward said.

I was speechless, and overwhelmed. I could not think of a better way to honor my sister's memory. I finally found my voice after staring at the papers for several minutes. "Thank you . . . All of you," I said in a whisper that I know the all heard. Venom pulled it my eyes, stinging them and making it difficult to read all the paperwork. I was just so overwhelmed but the gesture.

Carlisle suggested that Peter go next, and that he would go last. Peter looked a little uncomfortable being in the spotlight, but graciously accepted the box handed to him by Alice. I knew which box this was, and I had a feeling Alice chose it for a specific reason.

"Ah, that one looks like it's from Esme and me," Carlisle said as Peter slowly unwrapped it.

Inside the box was a leather wrist band with the Cullen crest stamped on a silver medallion, and affixed to the band. As Peter took it out of the box, Edward, Emmett and I all pulled up our right shirt sleeves reveal that we also had leather wrist bands like the one he had just received.

"I know that you and Alice have been a part of the family for a while now, but Esme and I wanted to give you something to make it feel more official. There is a necklace similar to Rosalie's under the tree for Alice," Carlisle said.

"Thank you," Peter said with a smile. He was surprised, thankful and very happy about the gift. Alice helped him attach the wrist band to his right wrist.

"Welcome to the family little brother," Emmett said.

"Little brother? I'm older then you Emmett," Peter replied.

"True, but I've been part of the family longer; so I get to be the big brother," Emmett grinned.

"I guess that means you are all my little brothers," Edward said with a grin.

Emmett shook his head, "Nope you're physically younger then all of us so you're still the little brother."

Edward glowered at Emmet, "Just remember who's in-charge when Carlisle not around."

That wiped the grin off of Emmett's face, and I couldn't help but snicker. While Esme was our mother and ran things when Carlisle was away, it was really Edward who was in-charge. Carlisle felt that Edward was best suited along with my help to defend and protect the family in his absence.

Carlisle opened the gift that came from Esme.

"Edward helped me find these," Esme said as Carlisle unwrapped the box.

The box contained several books on medicine. There were over a dozen books including: _A Manual of Medical Jurisprudence, Sexual Science, _and _A Treatise on the Practice of Medicine_ to name a few. They were all books from the nineteenth century that Carlisle did not have in his vast collection.

Carlisle loved to collected books on medical field, regardless if they were useful or not. He found it very interesting to read the various theories out there. Sometimes the theories were good, and other times they were far off. He and Edward would sometimes spend hours debating the various theories.

We went around several more times opening more gifts. Rosalie opened the envelope from Edward and me that contained an all expense-paid week for her and Emmett in Atlantic City. Rosalie was thrilled with the gift, and of course since Rose was happy so was Emmett.

Carlisle and Esme had also given her several very pretty dresses designed by Elsa Schiaparelli. Along with what she got from Alice I was sure she'd have a pleasant time showing them off in Atlantic City.

Edward had gotten me a new chess set that was way too expensive to ever play with. It was a dark mahogany base that also rose up to surround a blue and white alabaster marble play surface. The pieces were made of the same color marble. The finishing touch was the gold inlay that was very intricate. It took me a couple of minutes to realize that if you looked close enough you could see that within the gold inlay design was my name spelled out. The common person would never notice, unless they pay very close attention.

The last gift of course got the best reaction.

"Don't you have one more gift for Emmet?" Alice asked Rosalie. This was after Rosalie had stated the last gift Emmett had opened was the last one from her.

"No, that's all I bought for him," Rosalie replied.

"That can't be I saw you buy him another gift," Alice argued.

Rosalie just shook her head '_No'_. Edward and I were smiling and trying not to laugh, but we weren't very successful. "What are you two laughing at?" Alice asked completely confused.

"I can't believe it worked! That's twice now!" I said while laughing as Edward and I high fived.

Alice was totally confused, but then suddenly it all clicked. "Wait you mean that the gift I saw Rosalie buy wasn't for Emmett?" Alice asked.

"No, it wasn't for Emmett. We only wanted you to think that," Carlisle said as he tossed the box containing the keys over to Peter.

Peter opened the box quickly and Alice snatched the keys away to their new BMW 327. "Thank You!" Alice said excitedly as she hugged Carlisle. She was a bouncing ball of joy. It was actually making me feel a little dizzy.

"You should thank Edward and Rosalie; it was their idea after all," Carlisle replied.

"I even tuned it up for you," Rosalie said.

"How long have you known about this gift?" Peter asked me.

I grinned, "Long enough."

Peter narrowed his eyes at me, but I sent him a feeling of happiness and gratitude. "No fair screwing with my emotions, Jasper."

"I would never do such a thing," I said as innocently as possible. I knew I wasn't fooling anyone, and I'd screw with everyone's emotions just for the fun of it.

"I want to be mad at you, but even without your influence I can't be. Thank you," Peter said.

"Edward and Rosalie deserve most of the thanks. They were the masterminds behind it," I replied.

Peter and Alice both thanked everyone, and gave extra thanks to Edward and Rosalie.

Edward and I hung his gift from me in the music room above the grand piano. We then joined the rest of the family to play a game of _Monopoly_, which Emmett insisted we all play. Esme withdrew from the game after the first round and played referee. She also kept Emmett from stealing money from the bank.

As the day finally drew to an end I was sitting on the sofa watching the snow fall. I could hear the laughter of my family as some of them were still playing Emmett's board games. I smiled to myself thinking of how lucky I am. This life was not easy, and we lost much because of it. This day changed my view of that loss just a little bit. Perhaps I had gained much more in the end. I had a loving family, and a partner who would bring me the moon if I asked for it. I resolved that I would learn the control necessary to be able to use this life to help others, much like Carlisle had resolved to do.

I turned toward the entry way to the parlor when I heard Edward's foot steps approach. I smiled when I saw him stop in the doorway directly beneath the mistletoe. Edward looked up to see the decoration, and when his eyes returned to me. I was standing before him a moment later.

"Merry Christmas, Edward."

"Merry Christmas, Jazz."

Our lips pressed together in a soft and gentle kiss.

My heart which had been torn by the loss of my sister was mending because of the love of my family. Laughter is truly the best medicine to help one heal.


	20. Deception

**Chapter 20: Deception**

_deception (-noun) something that deceives or is intended to deceive; fraud; artifice. A ruse; a trick._

War was raging in Europe and Carlisle believed it would only be a matter of time before the United States entered it. Normally we would not pay much attention to the event of the human world, but this could have an effect on our family.

Five healthy looking young men here on the home front would bring about suspicion. Many men would be drafted, and nearly as many would likely volunteer if the United States entered the war. We had already decided that we would move, and go into seclusion after Edward, Rosalie and I completed our degrees.

Thanks to some efforts by Carlisle we had been allowed to take extra classes and complete those degrees early. Edward, Rosalie and I had graduated at the top of our class in our fields of study.

Now we were preparing to move to Canada where we would spend the next few years. Carlisle would continue to work as a doctor, but the rest of us were going to be as invisible to the public as possible.

Edward had suggested that he and I use the time to work on my sister's foundation. I had happily agreed, and we had started by offering a scholarship to Dartmouth. The school had no idea that we were behind the foundation, but were eager to offer the scholarships.

We were providing two full scholarships to the school for students studying Literature or Education. All applicants had to write a short essay on the importance of literacy.

Edward and I had spent several hours in the living room going through all the applications we had received. It took several hours to narrow down the selection, but in the end we could not decide between the last three finalists. Esme suggested that we just offer three scholarships, which we did.

"I'm so glad that is over with," I said while lying on the sofa with Edward.

Edward mumbled his agreement, snuggled into me more. His eyes were closed as he listened to my slow even breathing. The sun shown through the west windows as it progressed across the sky.

Alice and Peter were also cuddled up together on the adjacent sofa. Esme was in her drawing room working on the plans for the new house. Emmett and Rosalie were out getting moving supplies so that we could start packing. Carlisle was working at the hospital for another week, then we'd begin the process of relocating.

I felt Edward snaked an arm around me, and hold me tight to his body. I closed my eyes to enjoy the embrace, but it was short lived. Everything came crashing down when I felt a sudden and unexpected wave of terror burst from Edward. His arm that was holding me tightened and I gasp from the unexpected shift in emotions.

Opening my eyes I saw Edward's moving rapidly back and forth. I turned my attention immediately to Alice whose own eyes were unfocused. She was having a vision of something to come, and it didn't seem like it would be a good thing.

I turned back to Edward, and wrapped my arms around him tight. _'Please, whatever this is that's coming let it end well.'_ I prayed.

"Edward, what is Alice seeing?" I asked.

"One moment," Edward replied. "Alice, go back. Stop, yes go forward that way,"

It was extremely frustrating to not know what they were seeing, or to be able to help them find a positive solution. Peter and I stare anxiously at our partners as they wove through the complex decisions.

Esme who had over heard parts of the conversation joined us. She too was staring anxiously back and forth between Edward and Alice.

"Edward," I said again. I couldn't take much more. His emotions shift from one extreme to the next. At this rate I'd have whiplash from just trying to keep up emotionally with what was going on.

Alice's vision finally ended, but I was truly not prepared for what I was about to learn. I looked into Edward's eyes to see the most pained expression I had seen upon his perfect face in a very long time.

"Edward?" I whispered.

"She found us."

Those three words didn't register at first. _'What? Who found . . . Oh No! Please don't let it be Maria.'_

The expression that crossed Edward's face as I thought Maria's name was all the confirmation I needed.

"We need to leave NOW!" I said as I shot up from the sofa.

My mind was processing everything so quickly, and part of me was aware that I had just shoved Edward onto the floor in my haste to stand.

"Jazz, stop!" Edward said, as he picked himself up off the floor.

"No, she can't find us here. We need to leave before she gets here," I replied.

"Jasper! Calm down. You're freaking us all out. Please let me finish explaining," Edward said calmly.

I was about to protest, but Edward just kept on speaking. "She's not coming here."

I stopped and processed what Edward had just said. _'He had just told me that Maria knew where we were, but that she wasn't coming here. Why? It was no secret how badly Maria wanted me back. What is she planning? Is she just waiting for an opportunity when I'm not prepared?'_

"Jazz, can you please turn off your tactical mind until I'm done," Edward said to interrupt my thoughts.

'_Sorry. Go on,' _I thought. It was extremely difficult for me to stop trying to plan out what to do, but I managed to keep it under control long enough for Edward to continue.

"Let me finish completely, before you start off on a tangent again," Edward began, and I nodded.

"Maria is not coming here, but she is sending a small group to verify the information she's received is in fact true. She's sent a vampire by the name of Carlos, and another named Luis. There are also three newborns with them," Edward continued.

I couldn't help it and my mind started formulating tactical strategies to deal with them. They would need to be taken out. I don't think Carlisle would agree, but Peter and I could handle it ourselves if we have a good plan in place.

I noticed Edward give me a perturbed look, and he was waiting for me to finish so he could continue.

'_Sorry., sorry, Go on,'_ I thought.

"You can't harm them, or Maria will suspect the information maybe correct. She'll send another group that will find our scent and track us to our new home. She'll then show up in force and we'll be at a disadvantage. We don't have enough fighters for a confrontation with her," Edward continued.

I sighed. Edward was right. My family was not a coven of warriors. Though many of us had skill, there were still several without the necessary skills to fight a battle.

"What do we do?" I asked.

"I'm getting to that, but there is something else you need to know," Edward said, but it was Alice who took over from here.

"She found out from James, Jazzy." Alice said.

I was instantly filled with rage, and wanted to break something. Before I could move, Edward had his arms wrapped tightly around me holding me in place. "Calm down, Jasper."

"No! Damn! This is my fault! I should have ripped that sadistic bastard apart when I had the chance!" I roared.

"MAJOR! Calm the fuck down!" Peter growled at me.

"Jazzy, you need to calm down, you're projecting," Alice said, her voice was agitated.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, and tried to calm myself. I felt Edward's right hand moved down my arm and touch the bare skin on the back of my left hand. I felt his calm, and love flow into me. "Jazz, Please just calm down. Trust me when I tell you it will all work out. You just need to let me finish, and you'll see that no one gets hurt."

"I'm sorry. This is my fault that we're all in danger now. If I had dealt with that bastard when I had the chance, we'd all be safe," I said angrily.

"Jasper, you can't change the past son. Edward says we'll all be safe, and I believe him," Esme said in her calm voice.

"You're such a drama queen, Jazzy," Alice said.

"What? What the hell is a drama queen?" I asked.

"Oh, sorry, it's from the future. I'll explain it to you later," Alice replied.

"Can we get back to the topic at hand?" Peter said, there was annoyance to his voice. He was also very worried. I couldn't blame him. I was just as worried.

"To have a peaceful resolution to this we need to meet with them, but we won't be alone. James made a lot of bad assumptions and they think that you are the leader of our coven, Jazzy. This will work in our favor. They'll think they are dealing with the Major, when in reality they are deal with the Doctor, and former leader of the Volturi Guard," Alice said amused.

"Wait, you said we won't be alone. Who else is there?" I asked.

"This is where things really move in our favor, but we need to time things correctly. They also make things more complicated, but it is in our best interest to see that it happens correctly. That's why Edward is going to do most of the speaking for us. He'll have everyone's thoughts running through his head, along with my visions. He'll be able to time everything so that our guest arrives at the right time." Alice said.

"Ok, who is the guest?" I asked again.

"Demetri, of the Volturi. He'll also have two other guard members with him," Alice with a huge smile.

"Oh, this keeps getting better and better" I said sarcastically.

"Jazzy, Demetri has a great deal of respect for Carlisle. He's just never shown it before now. He's on his way back from an assignment for Caius. He just happens to pick up Carlisle with his tracking abilities, and comes to see if it's really him," Alice replied.

"Alice, there are four highly gifted vampires in this room right now, with gifts that are certain to be coveted by Aro. We can't let Demetri know about these gifts. We'd be in greater danger then ever if word got out about our gifts," I replied.

"I know that Jazzy. Demetri won't suspect a thing. He also will only stay long enough to see that Carlos, and all of them leave. He's also going to be the reason why we don't have to fear Maria for a few decades," Alice replied.

"Is there anything else that I should know?" I asked.

"No. Just try not to kill anyone, especially James," Alice said.

"Wait, that bastard is going to be there?" I growled.

"Jasper, you can't kill him or it'll raise questions with Demetri. We'll get him another time," Edward said.

I was not happy about this at all! That bastard was going to get away again. James and his mate would need to be dealt with at the first possible opportunity. I looked over to Peter, and gave him a look he had seen many times before. He gave me a nod acknowledging that he knew my intentions.

"We'll deal with James in due time," Edward said. He was clearly aware of what I wanted to do.

"Boys, it's too dangerous. I don't want any of you getting hurt," Esme said.

"Esme, leaving him alive is dangerous. You've heard about what he has done to Alice. Now he has gone and formed some soft of alliance with one of the most dangerous vampires in our world. He cares only for himself. It matters not to him if he exposes our kind or whom he hurts," I replied.

"What's going on?" Carlisle said as he entered the room.

"You're home early, dear," Esme said as he walked over to Carlisle. They greeted each other with a kiss, and gentle hug.

"It was a slow day, not much paperwork to finish. Now, can someone please tell me what is going on, and why everyone seems so on edge?" Carlisle asked.

Edward explained the visions that Alice had, and our best course of action. Unlike me, Carlisle listened intently to everything Edward said before he spoke.

"How long do we have before they arrive?" Carlisle asked.

"They'll arrive in the early morning hours after your last day at the hospital. We'll meet them in the small clearing south of here, where we first confronted James and Victoria," Alice said.

"Carlisle, James can't be left alive for long after this is over. You know as well as I do that there is no peaceful solution. He will stop at nothing to destroy Alice and the rest of us," I said.

Carlisle closed his eyes, but nodded to me. "You know I would prefer a peaceful resolution, but I also know that you are likely very correct in your assessment. I won't have my family living in danger. Do what you must, but only when the time is right."

I nodded, "Peter and I will deal with it when the time is right."

"Alice and I will be going with you, and no arguing with us either. We're coming with you, whether you like it or not," - Edward said, - "That's final."

"Edward . . ." I started, but Alice interrupted me.

"It's already decided, Jazzy. Edward and I are going with you and Peter. You'll need us to find him, and it won't hurt to have our abilities handy," Alice argued.

"Fine, we'll deal with it when the time is right," I conceded. Alice was right; having hers and Edward's abilities nearby during that chase would be a huge benefit.

I turned to Carlisle, "I want everyone to learn to defend themselves. Alice's visions aren't foolproof, and you all people know that I've proven that. Something could still go wrong, and this could turn into a fight. We should be prepared for that possibility."

"Maybe now would be a good time to tell me how you two did it?" Alice said annoyed.

Well so much for ever trying to surprise Alice again. "We each bought the other's gift. It was a spontaneous decision that struck me just as we were about to go our separate ways."

"You still would have needed to make a decision on the gift. I should have seen that decision. I would have had it backwards on who bought what, but I would still have seen it," Alice countered.

"That's probably because we didn't make the final decision. In my case the manger made the decision. He said he had a piece that was part of a set that Carlisle bought," I replied.

"A similar situation in my case, as far as the decision goes. I was browsing the store for a while before the manager came over to assist me. He asked what I was looking to buy, and I told him it was a Christmas gift for you. He remembered that you like sapphires and said he had the perfect piece for you. I bought it without a second thought," Carlisle added.

Alice visibly frowned, "That's not good, I can't think of a way around a similar scenario. The decisions were too spontaneous, and the two of you didn't make the final decision."

"Alice, you can't be omniscient," Carlisle said.

"If I can't see then I can't protect us," Alice countered.

"You just proved that you can, Alice. You saw what is coming for us and we're prepared for it," Peter argued. He was still worried even though Alice saw everything ending peacefully.

Alice sighed, "I don't like having blind spots."

"That is why we prepare for every possible scenario," Edward reasoned.

I knew that Alice wasn't happy with that answer, but there was nothing she could do about the blind spots. This family meant a great deal to all of us, and we were all very protective of what we all shared.

I enlisted Peter's help to train everyone. We split everyone up into two groups to make the training easier. Peter worked with Emmet, Alice and Carlisle. I worked with Rosalie, Esme and Edward.

As the day approached we grew more and more tense. Alice had said they stopped to feed in western Pennsylvania. We also went hunting, and I made sure everyone focused on getting predators, instead of herbivores. The stronger animals would make us stronger, which would be useful if things turned out negatively.

We gathered in the clearing shortly before they would arrive. We positioned ourselves in a way to provide the best defense, but also a strong offense. Carlisle, Edward and I stood ahead of the others. A couple of yards directly behind us stood, Alice, Esme and Rosalie. They were flanked by Peter and Emmett who stood slightly ahead of them.

Alice gave a quick run down on the time, and Edward made mental notes of them. Carlos, Luis, James, Victoria and the newborns would arrive in five minutes. Demetri, who had picked up Carlisle's tracking marker, was fifteen minutes away. He had been tracking Carlisle for the past six hours according to Alice. That meant he had been nearly a thousand miles away when he picked up the marker.

It was a tense and long five minutes as we waited for them to arrive. We could finally hear them running through the forest. They emerged twenty yards ahead of us at the edge of the clearing. When they reached fifteen yards, I stopped their advance. I didn't want them too close.

"That's far enough!" I said, my voice filled with authority. They stopped, and did not approach further.

"Well, it seems that your information was correct after all," Carlos said to James.

"Of course it was correct," James replied back angrily.

The tone of that one reply told me everything I needed to know. There was no alliance between James and Maria's puppets. James and Victoria would only be concerned with saving their own necks if this turned into a fight. I'm sure they would side with Carlos to begin with, but when the battle turned against them they would be quick to withdraw.

"Maria demands that you return at once, Jasper, and you are to bring Peter with you," Carlos said.

"You will need to send Maria our apologies as Jasper and Peter will not be returning to her, ever," Edward said in a clam voice.

"Who the hell are you?" Carlos said with a sneer.

"Edward Cullen and I speak for the Cullen Coven," Edward said, his tone was firm.

Carlos turned to James, "You said that this was Jasper's coven."

"He was the one calling the shots that day; I assume he was in charge. I didn't know the child was the leader," James replied.

Edward smirked, "The child can hear you clearly, and again you assume incorrectly. I said that _'I speak for the Cullen Coven'_ not that I was its leader. Carlisle is our leader."

Edward gestured toward Carlisle who was beside him. Carlisle simply nodded, but said nothing.

"You must be a weak leader if you let a child speak for you," Carlos said smugly.

"You would not be the first to make such an assumption, and I'm sure that you will not be the last," Carlisle said, and then tossed over his medallion to Carlos.

Carlos caught the medallion and looked at it, and his eyes narrowed. He chucked it back at Carlisle angrily. "What sort of trick is this? How did you come by that medallion?" Carlos demanded.

"I taught you to never underestimate your opponent, Carlos. Yet here you make the biggest underestimation of your existence," I smirked.

"It matters not. You and Peter will return to Maria immediately. It is her demand that you present yourselves before her." Luis said.

"I've already told you they will not be returning. Unless you have further business you wish to discuss you will leave our territory immediately," Edward replied sternly.

I could feel that our guest and his companions had been on the outer fringes of my ability shortly after Carlos arrived. They were also within hearing distance now. I also felt a surge in Edward's confidence at nearly the same time.

"Enough of this game, if you will not come willingly then we will take you by force," Luis said.

"You should rethink that course of action, immediately. That medallion is no trick. Carlisle is close a friend of Aro, and still maintains his rank and associated privileges within the guard," Edward said.

Carlos and Luis looked around them quickly calculating the odds of winning this battle that was looming over us. They were completely disregarding that they could very likely be bring the wrath of the Volturi down upon them. Though none of us expect it would ever reach that far. I was prepared to do whatever was necessary to fight and defend my family.

"But none of that matters because you are already outnumbered. I wouldn't count on them," - indicating James and Victoria - "to help you. They'll save their own neck before risking it to help you," Edward said.

I could feel their confidence that they would win this battle. I wasn't sure if Carlos was counting James and Victoria in his assessment, but it did not matter._ 'If this turns into a fight, Edward, Peter is most likely going to go for James. I need you to take on Luis. I will deal with Carlos. Luis is not as good a fighter as he lets on, and he's only survived because he's fast, but I know you're faster,' _I thought.

I felt Edward acknowledge of what I had said to him in my thoughts.

"Last chance, Jasper, before we destroy your pathetic little coven," Luis said. They all slid into a fighting crouch.

We all quickly followed suit ready to defend ourselves. The newborns shifted forward ready to attack, only waiting for the command.

"I highly advise you to rethink this course of action. Aro would be extremely upset if you harmed his close friend, and one of his chief lieutenants," The voice that spoke belonged to Demetri.

Everyone turned to see the dark cloaked figure standing just feet away from Carlisle. Carlos and his band had not heard his approach. We slowly stood, but kept alert to defend ourselves if necessary.

Demetri was quickly flanked by two very large and menacing looking vampires wearing grey cloaks. Carlos stepped back as did the others around him.

"Carlisle, it has been a long time," Demetri said turning to Carlisle.

"Demetri, it is good to see you old friend," Carlisle replied.

Demetri then turned to Carlos. "You have delivered your message. Now you will deliver one for me." His voice was dark, and his eyes faded to black as he spoke.

"Maria will stay clear of the Cullen coven, or risk the wrath of Aro. If any harm comes to one of the members of Carlisle's coven, then I will assume Maria was behind it. I will be sure to let Master Aro know of this little stunt as well," I sent a strong wave of fear projected outward toward Carlos and company. I was sure to keep it from reaching Demetri.

"Afton, Santiago, deal with those," Demetri said as he pointed to the newborns. This I had not expected and it happened very quickly. Two of the newborns were in pieces before Carlos and Luis had time to react, but they only moved to defend themselves. The third newborn tried in-vein to defend himself, but quickly joined the first two.

Afton and Santiago returned to Demetri's side when they'd dealt with the newborns. Afton handed Demetri the hand of the third newborn. I watched as he ripped off one of the fingers and tossed it to Carlos. "To be sure she gets the message," Demetri said with a dark smile.

He then tossed what was left of the hand and a lit match into the remains of the three newborns. "I have your tracking markers and I will be able to tell if you go near the Cullen Coven, even from Volterra."

The whole statement had to have been a lie, I didn't believe his gift could reach all the way from Volterra. But that didn't matter because Carlos, Luis and even James and Victoria believed it.

The menacing glare that Demetri gave them was all they needed. They quickly back away from the clearing. None of us relaxed our position for several minutes. Finally Edward told us they weren't coming back.

"I think we can relax now. I don't think they'll be coming back," The look he gave me told me that Alice had seen that we were in the clear. Demetri confirmed that they were moving off south, and had split into two groups.

"Afton and Santiago, you can both go on ahead. I'll meet up with you in the morning," Demetri said. The two vampires drifted away, and were soon out of sight. It was a silent few minutes before anyone spoke.

"This was not what I anticipated finding when I caught your tracking marker earlier in the day," Demetri said.

"It was not totally unexpected. We got news earlier in the week that they were coming," Carlisle replied.

"I see, may I ask as to the nature of their visit. It seems that they were after two of your coven members," Demetri continued.

"Jasper and Peter," Carlisle said indicating who we were. "Maria is Jasper's sire, and is not pleased that he left her coven nearly a decade ago. Jasper is a skilled strategist and tactician on the field of battle. Maria has barely managed to hold onto her territory since he left."

"I believe I may have heard of you Jasper, or should I call you Major," Demetri said with a smile. I watched him appraise me for a moment. "I must say I thought you'd be bigger."

"You can call me Jasper, and as for my size . . . Well let's just say that many others have made the same assumption. Sadly for them they're all a pile of ash now," I replied.

"So I've heard," Demetri laughed.

"Peter, who was sired by Jasper, joined us with his mate a few years ago," Carlisle added.

"There are a lot of you," Demetri said, with some surprise.

"We don't normally all live together, but Peter and Alice are new to our diet. It's easier to adjust when you have more of us around to help. Normally we live separately in pairs, but close enough to stay in constant contact," Edward said.

'_That was a line of bullshit, Edward.'_ I thought. I noticed that Demetri seemed to buy it so I wasn't about to object. There had to be a reason Edward had made that statement.

"You all live on the same diet as Carlisle? Of course you do. Your eyes are all gold," Demetri said rhetorically.

"It allows us all to live peacefully in close contact. It has allowed me to become a very successful surgeon" Carlisle said.

Demetri's eyes widen. "A surgeon? But what of the blood? How can you stand it?"

"It was not easy at first, but through patience and time it has come to no longer have an effect upon me. I do the work I love without pain. It is also how I found most of my family," Carlisle stated.

"Family?" Demetri asked. He was confused and unsure of what to think.

"Yes, we don't view ourselves as a coven. We prefer to look at ourselves as an extended or close family. We all strive to be like Carlisle, and that allows us to interact peacefully. We settle our disputes by talking about them rather then fighting. It's a nice change from the south," I said.

"I would agree. The south can be quite uncivilized. I prefer to leave those assignments to Jane. She enjoys punishing those southern covens," Demetri said.

"Speaking of assignments, may I ask why you are in the area?" Carlisle questioned.

"We were just passing through the area. I did not expect to be here; especially considering the assignment was for Siberia. You know about Caius and his vendetta against the werewolves. He had me chasing one clear across Siberia, and into Alaska. We finally caught up with the creature in northern Canada," Demetri said.

"He still has not let that one go," Carlisle commented.

"No, and it's only gotten worse. I mean no disrespect toward Caius, but we've already dealt with the werewolf that attacked him. I see no point in continuing this vendetta, but it's not my decision. I just do what I'm told," Demetri replied.

That comment actually made me feel uncomfortable. I could also feel Demetri's frustrations at the situation. I gather from his emotions that he didn't like these assignments, or maybe he didn't like Caius. I suppose those emotions could be interpreted either way.

"I must apologize, Carlisle. I should not be laying these frustrations at your door. I should be catching up with Afton and Santiago," Demetri said, but I could feel he was actually torn by that.

"Perhaps you would like to stay longer? I'm sure Carlisle would enjoy visiting with an old friend," Edward suggested.

"I really should be going," Demetri said, but made no move to leave. He also seemed to want to stay based on his emotions. I could feel curiosity rising within him.

"Our home is not far, come and join us for a few hours," Carlisle suggested.

Demetri nodded, and finally accepted our offer. We began to gather up to head to the house. Rosalie was giving Emmett instructions on some supplies she needed to give all the cars a tune up.

"I'll go with Emmett to get the supplies," Peter said.

"You two better not get into trouble," Esme said with a smile.

"We'll be on our best behavior, Mom," Emmett said.

Demetri watched the scene and I could feel both his amusement and wonder. I was certain he'd not see anything like it before in our world.

The rest of us made our way to the house with our guest. Carlisle and Demetri quickly got to talking about various events going on in Europe as well as changes in the Volutri. It seemed that Eleazar had also left after finding his mate, a beautiful vampire by the name of Carmen. She, like Eleazar, was from Spain.

"You said that Eleazar left the guard? Do you happen to know where he went?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes, he and Carmen left together. She joined us for a time, but Eleazar wanted to travel and see the world with her. Aro gave his blessing, and they left nearly a hundred and fifty years ago. I thought I caught his tracking marker in Alaska, but we were still chasing the werewolf and I did not have time to verify it was him," Demetri replied.

"Perhaps we'll take a trip to visit him sometime, and see if we can locate him," Carlisle said.

"If you do, send him my regards; Eleazar was always one of my favorite companions to have on an assignment. He's very smart and it made the job so much easier when you knew what you were up against," Demetri said.

That reminded me of Eleazar's gift. He was able to tell what gifts other vampires and humans possessed. Thought only the vampires would be able to actively use a gift, humans can have gifts that were dormant or passive.

Carlisle eventually took Demetri on a tour of the house, and explained how we were leaving in a few weeks for our new homes in Canada.

Edward and I were now sitting on opposite ends of the sofa facing each other. Our legs were intertwined as we sat there each reading a book.

"Alice?" Carlisle said.

The next thing I saw was Alice flash through the house and out the front door. I heard her call Rosalie's name, but the rest came out too fast for me to understand. I knew Emmett was involved but nothing else. When I looked up at Edward, his eyes told me that something bad had happened.

"Edward?" I said in a whisper.

Edward leaned forward and whispered in my ear so that only I could hear. "Alice told me in her thoughts that Emmett slipped, but she didn't see it happen. She's only see Peter bring him home."

Edward pulled back from me and I looked at him, then up to Carlisle's study. _'Fuck! Now is not the time for this to be happening.'_

Carlisle and Demetri returned to the parlor. Carlisle looked over to Edward and I saw Edward shift his eyes from left to right, then up and down. Carlisle's expression changed ever so slightly toward a frown.

"Do you know where Alice was going?" Carlisle asked.

"You know Alice, she probably found out about some shoe sale," I joked.

"Heidi is like that too. It's so annoying. We can't go to Paris without stopping to shop," Demetri remarked. "What is it with women and shopping for clothing?"

"If we understood that there would be no mysteries left in the world," Edward joked.

Demetri laughed, "Perhaps it is best if we don't know the answer to that one mystery."

Our amusement was cut short the moment that Peter burst through the door with Emmett. Peter had one hand gripping Emmet's right arm tightly as he pushed him through the door. Peter released Emmett and I watched as he slumped back against the wall and slowly slide down, his eyes were shut tightly.

"I've got to go help Alice," Peter said, and then was gone.

Everyone's eyes moved to Emmett. "Emmett?" Carlisle said.

Everyone watched as Emmett's eyes slowly opened, and then looked up at us. His eyes were bright red. Even thought I knew it was coming, and I knew what had happened it still chilled me to the core to see those red eyes. No one said a word, and no one was breathing.

"One minute we were laughing as we were walking home. Then the scent hit me like a tidal wave, I don't remember what happened until the haze passed and there was this dead girl in my arms," Emmett said.

"Did anyone see anything?" Carlisle asked calmly.

"No . . . I don't know . . . it happened so fast. Peter grabbed me and pulled me away, and then Alice and Rose showed up. Oh God, Rose is going to kill me," Emmett said.

Rosalie was the least of our worries at the moment. "Did Alice know this happened?" Demetri asked?

"No. She and Peter have a very unique connection. They seem to be able to sense when one of them needs helps," Edward replied. _'Great, just what we need. If Demetri gets suspicious of Alice having a gift we were screwed.'_

Emmett kept a mantra going about how it just happened too quickly, and he didn't understand why he couldn't resist.

"La tua cantante," Demetri finally said after several seconds.

"Are you certain?" Carlisle asked.

"There is no other possible explanation," Demetri replied.

"Can someone please translate for those of us who don't speak Italian?" I said.

"_Your Singer_, it's a term we use to describe a human whose blood calls to you. It is very rare, and almost impossible to resist. The draw is so powerful it overwhelms your mind, and you react purely on instinct. Only the most controlled vampire could resist such a call, and to be honest I know of no vampire currently living that has been able to resist. Of course, unless Carlisle here has managed," Demetri explained.

"I don't believe I've come cross anyone who would be my singer," Carlisle replied.

"So it wasn't my fault?" Emmett asked.

"That is a strange way of phasing it, but no it is not your fault," Demetri said. He was confused by why Emmett would think it was his fault that this occurred.

"What happened to you Emmett is viewed as a gift by our kind," Carlisle said.

"But I killed someone, Carlisle," Emmett said.

"I know that Emmett, let us just hope that no one saw anything," Carlisle replied.

Alice, Rosalie and Peter came through the door a moment later. "It is cleaned up, and no one will suspect anything," Alice said.

"Are you certain?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes, we made it look like a bear attack. Peter chased a large black bear to the scene and we got its prints in several prominent places on the ground. We then made it look like a bear attacked her," Alice replied.

"Very clever cover story that should be enough to cover up what truly happened; That is provided there were no witnesses," Demetri said.

"I assure you. There were no witnesses. The girl was the only one home, and no one was in the area. I checked," Peter said.

Demetri nodded, and I felt him relax.

"Em, what the hell happened back there? One second you were right by my side and the next that girl was dead in your arms," Peter said.

"I don't know," Emmett said in a whisper. His emotions were so full of self hatred, and disgust at himself it was getting nauseating.

"Emmett, baby, let it go. It's done and there is nothing you can do to change it," Rosalie said as she knelt down before Emmett.

"I'm sorry, Rose. I'm so, so very sorry," Emmett apologized.

"Come on, we need to go. You can't stay here with your eyes being red," Rosalie said.

Rosalie lead Emmett to their room, and the rest of us stood around stared at each other for several long minutes.

"Well, it has been quite the eventful day around here," Peter said.

"Alice, are you sure that this is going to work?" I asked.

"Positive, Jazzy, in fact I'm so sure that I'll bet you that we'll end up getting a warning from the local sheriff about there being a bear attacked not far from here," Alice said with a grin.

I looked at Edward. I was slightly tempted to take this bet. "Don't do it, or you'll lose," Edward said shaking his head.

"Name your terms, Alice," I said.

"I'm telling you Jazz. You're going to lose. You should remember the last time you bet against Alice," Edward said with a smirk.

"One hundred dollars and you have to build me a larger closet in our new house," Alice replied.

"Fine, if I win you will pay me one hundred dollars and you stop spying on Edward and me," I said.

"Deal," Alice said and stuck out her hand.

Ok, that was too quick and her confidence was really high at the moment. "You are so going to get screwed over Jasper. You should have listened to Edward," Peter said.

At this point I should have walked away from the bet, but I was a man and men don't walk away.

"Deal," I said and shook Alice's hand.

"Hand over the money, Jazzy," Alice said holding out here other hand.

"You haven't won yet, and you won't win until the local_ Sheriff_ shows up here and tells us about the bear attacked. Remember that you said _Sheriff, _not _deputy,_" I said.

Alice's emotions shifted and her confidence dissipated, but she kept her smile in place. I couldn't help but smirk. I now had a feeling that I was about to be one hundred dollars richer and have privacy again with Edward.

"You have a very amusing . . . um . . . family, Carlisle. Is it always like this?" Demetri said.

"Yes it's usually this amusing," Carlisle replied.

Emmett returned with Rosalie a short time later wearing sun glasses. "We're going to head to the new house. It'd be best to keep Emmett away from here until all this has passed," Rosalie said.

"Take Peter and Alice with you. The rest of us will make sure the cover story sticks, and then join you in a few days," Carlisle said.

They left a few minutes later. Demetri stayed until after the Sheriff's deputy stopped by to give us the news of the bear attack.

"Thank you for wonderful day, my friend," Demetri said as he prepared to leave.

"Feel free to come visit us again. I enjoyed our short time together," Carlisle replied.

"Thank you."

"Please send Aro my regards," Carlisle said.

"I shall, and be well Carlisle," Demetri said, then turned and left.

Edward assured us that Demetri was still completely in the dark about our gifts. He also said that Alice saw that Maria would not take the message from Demetri well at all, but that she would keep her distance for now.

Our other concern would be what Aro would make of Demetri's interaction with us when he read his mind. Edward said that Alice had foreseen that all would be well. Aro would be intrigued, but would not be concerned by us or the size of our coven. He would also buy the line of bullshit about us living separately, but uniting to defend each other.

Edward did make one surprising remark. "Demetri, wish he could better understand what we have here. I would not be surprised if he returned on his own for a more extended visit sometime in the future."

I wasn't sure how I felt about Demetri being so close. We had fooled him easily this time, but what if he did learn about our gifts, and that we were the largest coven outside of the Volturi, other then the newborn armies in the south.

Only time would tell.


	21. Confidence

**Chapter 21: Confidence**

The last few years have been a difficult time for our family. Emmett's encounter with his singer was only the first of several slips. I felt that our bad luck began the day Maria found out about where we lived. From that day forward until recently it has been a long and sometimes rocky road for us.

The first to slip after Emmett was Peter. It had happened on a local hunting trip shortly after we had moved to Hamilton Ontario. Alice, Peter, Edward and I had all gone hunting for something to hold us over until a more extended hunting trip that was planned for the following week.

~ * ~ Flashback ~ * ~

"_We are in the clear." Alice said. She had just returned from checking out safe zone._

"_Jazz and I are going to head northwest of here. I caught the scent of a mountain lion on our way in," Edward said._

"_We're heading east. There is a bear and some deer in that direction" Alice said._

_We parted ways, but would still be in contact because of Edward's gift. We tried to stay within hearing range for safety reasons. Edward took the lead, and took the straightest path toward the area he had caught the mountain lion scent earlier._

_I had planned to just settle for deer, but Edward was insisting we share the mountain lion. "You still need to find it first," I smiled._

"_Oh I'll find it," Edward replied back. The expression that crossed his face made me wonder if he meant the mountain lion or something else._

_We did find the mountain lion, and share the meal. We'd just finished disposing of the corpse when Edward stopped, and then quickly turned his head in the direction that Alice and Peter were hunting in. "Edward?" I said._

"_Damn!" Edward said, and starting running. I started chasing after Edward, trying to catch the words he said, but all I caught was hiker and Peter. No matter how you use those words in a sentence, it didn't sound good, especially when a vampire is involved._

_Edward is the fastest runner, but I wasn't even sure if even he had the time necessary to catch Peter and stop him. I lost sight of Edward after a few seconds. He was pushing himself to the edge of his running abilities._

_When I finally reached them I surveyed the scene before me. Peter had drained both humans, and was still in the bloodlust haze. He and Edward were circling each other, and Peter looked ready to strike. There was no way I was letting him get to Edward. I launched myself over Edward's head and my body collided with Peter._

_We both went flying twenty feet into a large maple tree. When we hit the ground I used my left hand to jam his mouth shut, and keep him from biting me. I also send a massive wave of calm, and lethargy into him. "Snap out of it, Peter. It's Jasper," I growled._

_It was difficult to stay calm, because I was fighting my own instincts to protect my mate. Add to that the emotions coming from Peter, and that made for a tough combination. I knew Edward was okay and he could defend himself, but the instincts to protect one's mate are very powerful._

"_He's coming out of it," Edward said from behind me._

_I didn't let go of Peter until I felt his body go completely limp. I slowly stood and back away from him. The moment I released my hold on him, he pulled away from me and looked around. His eyes grew wide when the caught sight of the two dead humans._

_He immediately looked toward Edward and me. I could feel his disappointment, and fear when he noticed we were not the ones with red eyes. Alice who had stayed a safe distance from the struggle went to Peter._

~ * ~ Flashback ~ * ~

Peter did not deal well with the slip. Edward and I had cleaned up the mess, and allowed Alice to hunt before we headed back to the house. Peter was terrified to go to back to the house and face Carlisle. The one I was most concerned about was Rosalie, and rightly so. She was livid when we came home.

Rosalie's reaction made things so much worse. Peter closed down and locked himself in his and Alice's room.

~ * ~ Flashback ~ * ~

"_You idiot, couldn't you control yourself?" Rosalie yelled at Peter. "You're nothing but a selfish bastard. I knew we should never have let you stay."_

_Peter looked down and walked away from the table. His emotions expressed his disappointment in himself. Rosalie's outburst had only caused his shame about slipping to increase. There was also a strong undercurrent of fear, worry and resignation._

"_Rosalie, you are out of line. It is not his fault that he slipped. Those humans entered our hunting grounds after we started hunting," Edward said._

"_Where the hell were you when this happened?" Rosalie said, now turning her attention toward Edward._

"_Over mile away hunting with me," I said. "And before you start in on me, do I need to remind you that your husband slipped two months ago?"_

_I really hated bring that up, but it was unfair to treat Peter this way. Emmett said nothing and I sent him a wave apology._

"_You should have done a better job making sure you were in the clear before you hunted," Rosalie countered._

"_We did, and the area was clear in all direction. The hikers entered the area during our hunt. Now get the hell off your damn soapbox. You aren't helping anyone with your temper tantrum," I replied angrily._

"_Lets all calm down." Esme said. "Rosalie, you can't change what happened."_

'_Well, they . . ." Rosalie started, but was interrupted by Emmett._

"_Enough Rose, Everyone understands your upset, but ripping into everyone about it won't change anything. Let it go." Emmett said._

_Rosalie glared at Emmett, and folded her arms over her chest._

_Carlisle sighed, and looked to Edward. "I need you to keep on the look out for the next few days, and see if anyone suspects anything."_

_Edward nodded, "I think it would be prudent to plan on moving."_

"_No!" Rosalie said._

"_Rose," Emmett said while giving her a look that I'd never seen him give her before. Emmett was usually the more submissive partner in that relationship, but I felt he only played that role to please Rosalie._

"_I think it might be best if we do move. Everything is very fuzzy if we stay, but if we move the picture clears up and all is well," Alice said._

"_Don't say it," Edward said to Rosalie._

"_Go to hell, Edward," Rosalie said angrily. I nearly jumped out of my seat at her, but Edward's firm grasp on my thigh prevented me from moving._

"_Rosalie Hale! Enough is enough," Carlisle said, he was now in full leader mode. "Everyone should make plans to move soon. Edward and I will come up with a cover story and Esme will look for a new house."_

"_May I be excused to check on my husband?" Alice asked._

_Carlisle nodded, and Alice went to check on Peter._

~ * ~ Flashback ~ * ~

Peter had heard Rosalie's entire temper tantrum. It only served to make him feel worse about what happened, and to doubt himself. Alice tried unsuccessfully for two days to get him to leave their room. Emmett also had no success in trying to get Peter to join the rest of the family.

There is only so much I can take of everyone's emotions before it gets to me. Most of the time we all keep our emotions in check, but Peter was not in the state of mind to keep his in check.

~ * ~ Flashback ~ * ~

_Edward and I were sitting on the sofa, our feet intertwined as we were each studying a new language. Edward was studying Spanish and I was studying French._

_Edward and I were planning to travel around Europe after the war and we were preparing by studying the native languages. It would have been easier for me to study if I had been able to focus._

_My focus and concentration were off. I could feel Peter's emotions and they had been pressing in on me for more than two days. It was suffocating, and constricting to the point where I couldn't breathe at times._

"_I can't take it any more," I said as I slammed the book shut and threw it on the floor. I stood and started up the stairs for Peter and Alice's room._

"_Jazz, what are you doing?" Edward said._

_I shoved open the door to Peter and Alice's room. It was completely dark in the room, but I could clearly see Peter sitting in the corner, his knees pulled up to his chest and his face buried in his arms._

_I grabbed Peter and threw him out of the room. "Enough with the self-loathing!" I yelled._

_Peter didn't try to fight me. He just quickly scrambled away and back into the same position as before. Now he was feeling remorse for his emotions affecting me._

"_Ugh! Damn, that's now the response I want from you!" I said annoyed._

_I stalked toward him as Emmett, Edward and Alice looked on. I was trying to get Peter to react, but that first attempt didn't work. This time I grabbed Peter and throw him down the hall toward the stairs, in the process I sent him through a wall. Esme was going to be pissed._

_Still, I got no responses from Peter. He just reverted into his ball of guilt. I marched down the hall toward Peter, and Emmett moved to stop me._

"_Jasper, he doesn't need the crap beat out of him," Emmett said, but Edward grabbed his arm and stopped him._

"_Relax, Emmett. Jazz knows what he's doing," Edward said. Alice made no move or sound to stop what I was doing. Alice rarely did anything without checking her visions. This was obviously what Peter needed or she would have stopped me by now._

"_So help me Peter if you don't get over this bullshit I'm going to throw you down the stairs and beat the crap out of you," I said._

_Peter's eyes flicked toward me and then the stairs for just a moment, but he made no move and there was no change in his emotions._

"_Fine," I said and then tossed him down the stairs. He took out the banister as he went. Peter landed on the end table at the bottom of the stairs just as Esme walked through the front door. Splintered pieces of the banister and table were shattered about the room._

"_Boys! No horseplay in the house," Esme scolded._

_I leapt from the second floor balcony and land beside Peter who was just laying on the floor._

"_Jasper! No fighting in the house," Esme said._

"_I'll fix it or buy you a replacement for whatever I break," I replied as I grabbed Peter and threw him through the French doors and out into the backyard._

"_Jasper! Stop!" Esme said. It was Alice who spoke this time. "Let him, Mom. It's the only way Peter will snap out of it."_

"_Fight back damn!" I yelled at him._

_Rosalie followed after Esme, and watched on with a smug attitude. I seriously thought about turning around and punching her, but I had been raised not to hit women. Esme would also get upset if I did that, so I let it go._

_I stepped through the broken glass, and splintered wood. I gave Peter three swift kicks to the ribs, and finally on the third kick he grabbed my legs and flipped me backward._

_I rolled and shifted into a crouch just in time to intercept Peter's charge. We struggled and fought for the next several minutes._

"_Are you fucking satisfied now Major?" Peter yelled at me. He had given up knowing that he was not capable of getting the better of me. Peter was a good fighter, but even after all these years he was still no match for me._

"_No! I'll be satisfied when you let it go! You can't change what happened," I yelled back._

"_That's easy for you to say! You're not the one who slipped up, as far as I know you haven't slipped up once since you switched to this diet. You're not the one who has everyone on your ass because you fucked up! You don't have to worry about fucking up so bad and upsetting your mate by crushing her dreams!" Peter replied. It had started as a yell, but ended in a defended voice._

"_He may not have ever slipped, but I have," Emmett said. "Jasper's right. You can't change the past, Peter. You got to let it go and move on, or it'll eat you up. Alice might be upset about what happened, but she forgives you. We all forgive you."_

~ * ~ Flashback ~ * ~

There are two paths to walk in life. The first and at times the most heavily traveled seems to be the easy road. For our kind that road is feeding upon humans. Your thirst is quenched, the fire in your throat sedated completely for a time. The second and the least traveled is the hard road, which we Cullens walk. Feeding on the blood of animals does not quench our thirst, and only abates the fire for a very short period of time.

Though it maybe harder the rewards are far great, in my opinion. I have a real family with the Cullens. I can interact with humans, though it is difficult at times, and fulfill my heart's desires. The most important reward to me is that at times I can almost feel human. Never in all the time before I met Edward have I felt this way.

Even with all the great benefits there are drawbacks to this life. We must learn control, and even when we do there is still the potential that a sudden accident or unexpected even could mean a loss of control. Esme had the unfortunate luck of experiencing this a year after Peter's slip.

Just thinking about that day brings back memories of emotions that I wished I had never felt. Esme is the sweetest, kindest person that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. I am proud to call her mom.

Children tend to think their parents are invincible, thought we all knew better, it was easy to think of Esme in this way. She was the heart of our family. The rock that kept us all anchored together.

Esme had stopped to help a young man whose car had broken down. It was a simple gesture of kindness that is so typical of Esme. The end result was sadly far different then Esme had planned.

The young man was attempting to replace a flat tire in the rain, and having difficulty. Esme said she lived near by and could have one of her brothers come down and help change the tire. The young man readily agreed, but just as Esme was about to leave the unexpected happened. The young man sliced open his hand on the frame of his car.

We moved the very next day. It had occurred far to close to home, and Esme was very distraught. It took several days before she was willing to face the family. No one held it against Esme. I knew Rosalie was upset about having to move again, but she kept her thoughts and feelings mostly to herself. Only Edward and I knew her true feelings, and thoughts on the matter.

The next move was to Salute Ste. Marie. We lived there for one year and a half. We finally thought we were past the unexpected lapses in control. We were very wrong. The slip came from one of the least expected family members, Alice.

Fashion was very important to both Rosalie and Alice. Unfortunately for them Salute Ste. Marie offers very little in the way of designer shops. There were a few boutiques that Rosalie, and more so Alice, frequented that carried stylish lady's clothing.

During one of those visits Alice slipped. It was a freak accident that no one could have predicted. There were only Alice, Rosalie and the seamstress in the store at the time. Rosalie was having a new dress tailored. The seamstress had gone to get more pins when she slipped on a wet spot on the floor. As she fell, she pulled a basket down with her that held very sharp scissors. The scissor blades opened and the young girl grabbed them and cut her hand. We left that night, and only shadows and haunted memories were left behind.

After Alice's slip I became terrified that I would be next to slip. Edward reassured me that I was well in control of my thirst and that I had nothing to worry about. I argued that so did Emmett, Esme and Alice, but they still had slipped. Edward argued back that those were freak accidents, and a human whose blood was very appealing to Emmett.

Maybe my singer was out there waiting to tempt me. Emmett hadn't even been able to resist, and I didn't have much faith that if I came across my own singer that I'd be able to resist.

I was absolutely terrified that I would slip, and force my family to move. They had already moved four times in the last three years. I knew that Rosalie would be pissed. I didn't want to deal with her selfish attitude or the emotions she would be sure to torture me with.

Edward did his best to keep my mind distracted, but it was of little use. Every time we went hunting I was worried I'd slip. It was less of an issue after hunting. When I was not thirsty I was able to think about other things, but as the fire would begin to burn again I'd start to worry.

I knew that my worried thoughts were getting to Edward. I did the only thing I could think of, and that was to speak with Carlisle.

~ * ~ Flashback ~ * ~

"_Come in, Jasper," Carlisle said after I had knocked. I walked into Carlisle's study, but I was unsure how to beginning this conversation. Thankfully Carlisle's wisdom gave him a good idea of why I was there._

"_You seemed troubled, Jasper, and if I had to guess why I would think it has to do with your fear of slipping," Carlisle said._

_I nodded. I did not like feeling weak, and I had just admitted to it._

"_Sit down, Jasper, and let's talk," Carlisle continued._

_I sat down in the chair across from Carlisle, who was seated behind his desk. He waited for me to continue the discussion._

"_I think I've been annoying Edward with my near constant thoughts about slipping. He says I'm being irrational about it, but I know it's only a matter of time before I slip," I said._

"_Why do you think you are going to slip?" Carlisle asked._

"_Others with more control then I have slipped," I replied._

_I saw Carlisle smile. "You believe that since other members of this family have slipped that you will slip as well?"_

"_Yes."_

"_I disagree with you, Jasper. You can't assume that just because others have slipped that you will as well. Other then Edward, you have more control then any other member of our family." Carlisle replied._

_I wanted to disagree, but Carlisle held up his hand._

"_Jasper, you have gone to university and completed a degree, which involved classroom study. Those classrooms were filled with dozen of humans. You have gone to numerous operas, symphonies, and museums with Edward. You've gone shopping, and interacted with humans on a daily basis for over a decade. No members of our family who slipped have been as desensitized as you, Edward and Rosalie," Carlisle added._

"_Except for you," I said._

_Carlisle smiled. "Yes, except me. Jasper, I have faith in you, and you just need to have faith in yourself. You're doing so well, and I know you have what it takes to keep yourself in control."_

"_Is it really as easy as believing in myself?" I asked._

"Believing in yourself is half the battle. The other half is doing what you have been doing for years now. Given enough time those two parts will help you become immune to the scent."

~ * ~ Flashback ~ * ~

Carlisle was right and over the following few months I became more confident in my abilities. I was still very cautious when I hunted; we all took extra precautions these days.

Having confidence in myself was the key, and I can now say that fifteen years after meeting Edward, and changing to this diet, that I was capable of living this life. I could now focus on a far more important issue, protecting my family.

"Jasper, are you about ready to go?" Edward called out from the foyer.

"Be down in just a minute," I replied.

Alice had gotten a vision of James and Victoria in Siberia. Alice said she was almost certain that he was tracking a werewolf. This was going to be dangerous, but we had to stop James and Victoria before they hurt our family. This could very well be our best shot at catching them and ending their threat.

I headed down to the foyer to leave with Alice, Edward and Peter. The four of us would track and take out James and either taking out Victoria or offer her a chance to redeem herself.

"You all be careful, and come back to me in one piece," Esme said as she hugged us all. When she reached me, she whispered so only I would hear. "Take care of Edward."

"Always," I replied.

We left headed to New York to catch a fly to Lisbon Portugal, which would be our entry into Europe. We would then track James on foot from there.


	22. Tracking the Tracker

**Chapter 22: Tracking the Tracker**

"Who's fucking bright idea was it to lock us up in a tin can for ten fucking hours?" I said as we exited the airport. It was a rhetorical question. Edward and Alice were trying not to laugh as they stare at me.

"What?" I asked annoyed.

"It was your idea, Jazz," Edward grinned.

'_Fuck you, Edward,'_ I thought. I was annoyed, thirsty and horny. Talk about a fucked up combination of emotions.

We had just gotten off our transatlantic flight from New York to London. It had taken ten hours from the moment they locked us inside the plane in New York until they let us out in London. I had never held my breath for so long in my entire existence. I was just thankful we had changed our mind sin New York about flying to Lisbon. I'm sure that we'd have been locked in that tin can for even longer.

"We're walking to Dover. There is no way in hell I'm getting inside another metal box," Peter said.

"That's probably a good idea, and it would give us a chance to hunt on the way," Alice added.

"Fine," I said. I didn't feel like arguing, and to be honest I also felt the same way Peter did about get inside another metal box with a bunch of humans. We had originally planed to take a train to Dover, but with our recent experience it was not an appealing idea.

Not breathing is a very uncomfortable feeling, and not doing it for ten hours is pure torture. I took several long deep breaths to clear my head.

"Feel better?" Edward asked.

"Yes. That was worse then having to listen to, and feeling, Emmett and Rosalie going at it nonstop. I'd taking feeling lust from those two any day over the discomfort from not breathing for ten fucking hours," I said.

"You don't have to listen to their thoughts when they are doing it. I swear that Emmett just scream out his thoughts to annoy me," Edward said with a shiver.

"Yes, I suppose that could be worse."

We left the airport and headed east toward Dover. Our hopes of finding some wild animals to quench our thirst did not looking good.

"Much of England's forests were cleared long ago to build ships," Edward said. I knew this, but had not anticipated that there would not be a large enough area for us to hunt safely.

We passed several areas of forested land, but they were all too small or much too close to civilization. It was about this time that I picked up the scent, and emotions of another vampire.

"He's been tracking us for the last mile or so. He is curious, but also weary of us," Edward said.

'_Is he peaceful or are we going to have trouble?'_ I asked in my thoughts.

"Peaceful, but you know how quickly that can change. He also noticed our eyes, and it reminded him of Carlisle," Edward whispered.

'_Does he plan to cross paths with us or just follow?'_

"We should cross paths in a half mile," Edward replied in a whisper.

I signaled Peter that we had company and to keep close to Alice. While I wasn't too concerned about one vampire that didn't mean I should let my guard down; he could have friends out there just waiting.

"He's waiting for us up ahead," Edward whispered.

'_Keep alert for anything suspicious,'_ I thought.

We slowed to a walk when we spotted the dark-haired vampire standing a few hundred yards ahead of us. I could feel his distrust of us, but also his curiosity.

We stopped a dozen yards away from him. Edward spoke first. "Greetings, My name is Edward Cullen, and these are my companions," Edward said motion toward us, "Jasper, Alice and Peter."

"My name is Alistair. Your eyes are yellow that is a very rare sight to behold," Alistair replied.

"We follow in the ways of our leader, Carlisle Cullen," Edward replied.

"That is a name I have not heard in nearly a century. How is Carlisle?" Alistair said.

"He is well, and living in America," Edward answered.

Alistair relaxed a little, but was still quite distrustful of us. "Are you passing through the area?"

"We are heading for Dover to take the ferry to Calais. We're in search of two of our kind" Edward replied.

"I see," Alistair replied.

"Perhaps you have come across others of our kind from America?" Edward asked.

Alistair's emotions shifted toward suspicion for a moment, but then back to curiosity. "I ran across two vampires from America a few months back near Southampton, but they are not like you," Alistair said.

"Those we seek are not like us. They caused problems for our coven in America. We intend to see to it that they no longer cause problems for anyone else," I said.

Alistair looked at me for a long moment. "Perhaps I have encountered the vampires you seek. The two I crossed paths with a few months ago were trouble. They have made it difficult for those of us here in England to feed near Southampton,"

"One is male, blond with his hair tied back. The other is female with red hair," I said.

"Yes, that would be them. They sadly did not cause enough trouble to catch the attention of the Volturi," he said the name with disgust. I made a note to ask Carlisle about that. "But enough to ruin our feeding habits," Alistair said.

"They are not concerned with rules or whom they inconvenience," I said.

"You do not feed the normal way. How have they inconvenienced you?" Alistair asked.

"They've done more then inconvenienced us," Peter said angrily. I sent him a wave of calm. Alistair was startled by Peter's sudden statement.

"They've caused trouble for us on a few occasions. Alice's sire fell victim to them during her transformation," I said.

Alistair was surprised by this, and took a moment to process this information. "How is that you did not turn feral?"

"Carlisle and Edward taught me all that I needed to know," Alice replied.

"You are very lucky." Alistair said, and then asked another question. "Carlisle did not change all of you?"

"No. I am the only one here that Carlisle has changed. Jasper, who I meet nearly two decades ago, was changed by a vampire named Maria. Peter was changed by Jasper. As for Alice we know very little of her sire, other then his name, which was Joshua," Edward answered.

"I once knew a vampire named Joshua. Joshua Cameron. He was fascinated by humans, and he went to America a century ago," Alistair replied, but he said the word human with disgust. I had a feeling that he didn't care much for humans.

"The vampires you seek are not here in England. They left for France shortly after the incident in Southampton," Alistair added.

"Thank you. We must be on our way," Edward said.

Alistair slowly backed away. "Send my regards to Carlisle."

Edward nodded, and we continued on our way as Alistair disappeared into the distance.

We finally found a suitable place to hunt shortly before reaching Dover. We only managed to find a small herd of deer. Edward and I shared the buck, and Peter and Alice took the two does. We had hunted before leaving America, but the flight over had used up a lot of our reserves to keep control. We would have to hunt again when we got to France.

We arrived at the ferry terminal a short time later.

"I'll get the tickets," Edward said as he walked toward the ticket counter.

Alice, Peter and I waited nearby. "The weather is overcast on both sides of the channel. The sea will be choppy, but no sun so we'll be able to stay on deck," Alice said.

"Good. The sea air should help keep the scents at bay," I replied.

We boarded the ferry and made the short journey to Calais. We then headed further east in the direction of Alice's last vision which was in western Siberia. We hoped to pick up the trail before that, which would make tracking them easier.

"Where are we heading first?" Peter asked.

"Paris," Alice replied as she started walking away from the ferry terminal.

"Wait a minute, Why Paris?" I asked suspiciously.

"It's a big city, and if they needed to hunt that would be a good place," Alice replied far too quickly and smoothly.

I narrowed my eyes at her, "Right. Now what's the real reason?"

"Jasper, I'm offended," Alice said mockingly.

"Cut the bullshit. You want to go shopping," I replied.

"No," Alice replied quickly, it was a lie and we both knew it.

I gave her a doubtful expression. I wasn't the only one who doubted her sincerity.

"Alice what are you hiding? You're translating _Wuthering Heights_ into German," Edward said. Almost everyone would translate that book into a different language because we all knew how much Edward disliked it.

"I'm not hiding anything. I'm just practicing my German," Alice replied.

'_Oh come on! Does she really expect me to believe that line of bullshit?'_ I thought. I watched on as Peter pulled Alice close to him as they walked, and we followed behind.

"So you're not hiding any thing?" Peter asked sweetly. Alice shook her head no, and they kept on walking.

I had a sneaky feeling that Peter was up to something. "I've always wanted to go to Paris. Maybe we can go to the Eiffel Tower," He said excitedly.

"Sure that could be romantic," Alice said.

"It would be really romantic if you kiss me while we're up there," Peter said.

'_Where the hell was he going with this conversation?'_ I thought. _'Maybe it would be better if I didn't know.'_

Peter then whispered several things to Alice that I could not hear, but Edward groaned. He obviously had heard it in their thoughts. I was thankful I hadn't heard whatever they were talking about. I was sure it was something to do with sex.

"Are we going to do that before or after you finish shopping?" Peter asked.

"After," Alice replied.

I burst out laughing, just as Alice realized what she said. I figured it was shopping that Alice had in mind, but this only confirmed it. To be honest it was expected since Paris is a major fashion center, at least that's what Alice and Rosalie keep saying.

Alice was not happy with Peter after that little stunt he pulled. I sighed and followed after the two of them. Peter could be a real idiot sometimes, but even he should know better then to piss off his mate. I was starting to wonder if Peter had ulterior motives for pissing off Alice.

"He likes the make up sex," Edward said.

"I really didn't need to know that, Edward," I replied.

Edward shrugged. "I think you should have to feel my pain once in a while. You being my mate and all I feel I should share everything with you."

I rolled my eyes and kept walking. "Since we're sharing, I'll be sure to share what I feel the next time Emmett and Rosalie or Peter and Alice are going at it," I replied.

Edward made a face, and I started laughing. _'I feel I should return the favor and share what I feel with you,'_ I thought.

I turned my attention back to Alice. "Alice, we don't have time to go shopping right now. We need to find James," I said.

"But Jazzy!" Alice complained.

"No Alice. If we have time, we can go on the way home," I replied.

"Fine, but you have to buy me a new outfit."

"Fine," I replied. "Let's get a move on. We have a lot of territory to cover in the next fourteen hours.

The first place we picked up James and Victoria's scent was in Eindhoven. We followed the scent into Germany, but lost it when we got to the Soviet Union zone.

"Victoria has figured out that someone is after them. They stole a car and are heading east, but I can't see where," Alice said.

"Are they still going to St. Petersburg?" I asked.

"Yes, but the vision is less clear now. I think we may need to herd them in that direction," Alice replied.

"If we head toward Berlin we may be able to force them north or at least further east," Edward suggested.

"Agreed," I replied.

Our push eastward toward Berlin was successful in getting James and Victoria to keep moving east, but we needed them to go north or we had to intercept them before St. Petersburg. I really did not want to fight a werewolf at the same time we were trying to take out James and Victoria.

"Hold up, Jasper," Peter said as we were entering Poland.

I turned to see that Alice had stopped walking and she was in a vision. I looked to Edward and he was following along with Alice.

"Damn it," Edward cursed.

"What?" I asked.

"Caius is on his werewolf vendetta again. If we don't stop James before St. Petersburg, we'll have to deal with the Volturi." Edward said.

"Whom is Caius sending?"

"Demetri is the only one I've seen in my visions," Alice said.

That didn't make sense to me. Werewolves were not to be taken lightly, and it was ridiculous to send only one vampire.

"That can't be right, Alice. There has to be more of the guard with him. Demetri is not stupid enough to take on a werewolf alone," I said.

"He's the only one I see, Jazzy. If we don't get to James before St. Petersburg, I see two things happening. First we'll encounter Demetri near Moscow and he'll offer to help find James for us after we tell him what James did to me."

"Wait, hold up," I said. "We can't tell him what James did to you without potentially revealing your gift."

"We can, but we just don't need to give details," Alice countered.

"I don't like it Alice," Peter said.

"It'll work if we're careful," Edward replied.

"I'd prefer to catch James before we have to make the choice," I said. "What is the second thing?"

"There is a chance James will slip away in Siberia. There are blind spots in the vision, so I'm not sure what triggers him getting away," Alice said.

"Could there be other guard members helping Demetri in those blind spots?" I asked.

"No, and Demetri set out from Volterra alone," Alice replied.

I ran my right hand through my hair. _'I really don't like how this is playing out at the moment.'_

"Neither do I," Edward said in reference to my thoughts.

"I didn't come all this way, and suffer through ten hours in a fucking airplane just to let that weasel get away," Peter said annoyed.

"Alright so the plan is to catch him before he gets to St. Petersburg. Alice, what's the best we to accomplish that?" I said.

"We need to push toward Warsaw, but we need to pick up the pace. We've only got a fifty-percent chance of catching him there," Alice said.

"Lets get moving," I said, and we started running.

We were barely half way to Warsaw when Alice's visions changed yet again. Victoria must have sensed that they were still being followed. Her gift was making it harder for us to intercept them.

"This isn't working," Peter said.

'_Genius that one_, _I swear he must take after his mother's side of the family_.' I caught Edward smirking and gave him a dirty look.

"Alice, I need you to be sure that Demetri is the only one of the Volturi that we'll cross paths with," I said.

Alice sat down and began going through her visions. Edward watched along with her and they began talking through various scenarios of what could happen. I really hated this, because I had no way of seeing that they were seeing.

"Demetri is the only one. There are still blind spots, but I looked specifically for other guard members and there are none," Alice said.

"That leads to other issues," Edward added.

"What other issues?"

"Demetri has to destroy this werewolf, and he won't go back until its dead. This leads to the other issues. If we don't catch James by the last night of the full moon phase, we'll be faced with a choice that I don't like," Edward continued.

"That choice is?" I asked.

"Whether or not to help Demetri and let James get away," Alice revealed.

"What happens if we don't help Demetri?" I asked.

"There is still a chance James will get away. Demetri also gets hurt or worse in every vision that James gets away in. James only dies in the visions where Demetri is unhurt, but I think that is because James takes on the werewolf," Alice said.

'_This just keeps getting better and better. Next she'll be telling me that the sky is falling.'_ I thought.

"What about the visions where James gets away?" Peter asked.

"The worse that happens in those is Demetri is slightly injured, but extremely grateful for our help. That could go a long away in the future," Alice said.

"Why do I have the bad feeling that I just spent ten hours in a fucking tin can for nothing?" Peter asked.

I sighed. Great now Peter was having doubts. This is not going to end well, and that bastard is going to get away yet again.

I sat down beside Alice and scrubbed my hands over my face before pushing them through my hair. "We don't have much choice but to keep pushing onward."

Alice suddenly leapt to her feet and started running toward Warsaw again. "What's going on?" Peter asked.

"They are stopping to feed. If we hurry we might just make it before they leave the city," Edward said as he started running after Alice. Peter and I quickly followed after them.

"The vision is clearing, but there is still a chance they'll get away even if we get there in time," Alice called back.

It only took us less then an hour to get to Warsaw. We headed for the Vistula River where Alice had last seen them in her visions. As we rounded a corner, Peter saw James a hundred yards ahead. He made a charge for James but Victoria showed up to warn him.

They jump across the river and ducked down an alley. Peter followed after them, while Edward and I try to cut them off by going a different route. Alice went after Peter to help him, but Edward could still hear everyone's thoughts.

"Turn right at the next street, Jazz," Edward said.

James and Victoria ran quickly at a human pace across the street, followed shortly after by Peter and Alice. Edward and I also running at a very quick human pace headed down the street and then took a left several streets further down.

Edward said that Alice was able to see our decisions and that she was using that to push James and Victoria toward us. Everything was going in our favor until Edward said that they'd split up. I told him to stay with James.

Just when we thought we had James cornered he scaled a nearby building to make an escape. I quickly followed after him with Peter, while Edward took a different route. James ducked into an alley as we met back up with Edward a few streets over.

As we emerged from the alley, James's scent was gone. "Damn it. She stole a car," Edward said.

"Fuck!" Peter growled.

I sighed. We had been so close. Alice showed up a moment later. She was giving off waves of frustration, and annoyance.

"Now what do we do?" Peter asked.

"Alice, what do you see?" I asked.

"Nothing, it's all fuzzy and blank again," Alice sighed.

"Damn it!" I groaned. I so badly wanted to punch or hit something.

I started to pace back and forth working through my mind the best possible ways to eliminate James. I also had the feeling that Victoria was closer to James then I first anticipated. The emotions she felt toward James when we showed up made me think that she considered him her mate or at least someone important. James didn't return those same emotions, and I felt like he might be using her for her gift.

"That is exactly what he is doing," Edward said.

"I hate when you two have silent conversations," Peter said annoyed. I stuck my tongue out at him, and went back to my internal monologue.

Tracking down James was going to be near impossible with Alice's visions all fuzzy. We could go to St. Petersburg, but that felt like a wild goose chase to me. We are always one-step behind them. We need to get ahead of them.

'_This would be much easier if we had another way to track . . .'_ I stopped that thought as I remembered that we would encounter Demetri in Moscow, but if we intercept him sooner then we'd have a chance to find James faster.

"Alice, can you see what would happen if we meet up with Demetri before Moscow?" I asked. Alice sighed, and looked ahead to see what the future held for us.

"We just need to wait here and he'll find us. From the visions it seems he picked us up shortly after leaving Volterra," Alice said.

"Let's meet him outside the city," I said.

We headed northeast of the city and waited a fair distance from civilization. We all hunted again. Dinner was a couple of Brown Bears and a pair of European Elk, also known as Moose. Edward had been right when he had said they were not worth the extra effort it took to take one down. The taste was only mildly better then mule deer.

"He'll be here in a minute," Edward whispered very softly into my ear.

We were in a forested area near a river. We sat down and were watching the wildlife coming to the river to drink. We kept ourselves down wind of the wildlife so as not to scare them off. This was going to be our excuse for stopping here; watching the wildlife.

Demetri emerged from the forest and stopped beside where I was sitting with Edward. He was looking off into the distance were a small herd of deer were drinking from the river.

"Their survival instincts are much stronger then humans, yet humans believe themselves to be more intelligent. I do wonder at times which creatures are truly more intelligent the human or the wild animals of the forest," Demetri said in a soft voice.

"Does it really matter when it comes to crossing paths with a vampire? Neither creature can escape us," I replied.

"That is true, and I suppose in such a case it would not matter," Demetri replied. "It is most interesting finding all of you here."

"We are here to deal with a troublesome thorn in our side, and then Alice wants to visit Paris to shop," I said.

"A troublesome thorn? I thought I had dealt with whatever issue was troubling your coven," Demetri said.

"Yes and no," I replied.

"Care to explain?" Demetri said as he took a seat on the rock beside me.

"You remember our . . . _guests_ from your visit a few years ago?" I asked. Demetri nodded and I continued.

"Two of them, the blond male and the red headed female, have been troublesome for some time now. Their names are James and Victoria. James is a tracker, and we believe that Victoria is gifted as well. She seems to be able to sense when they are in danger."

"How have they been troublesome to your coven? You all appear to live peacefully," Demetri remarked.

"The trouble started with Alice's transformation in the early 1920s. This was a time before the Cullen family existed as it does today. Edward and Carlisle were the only two members of the Coven at the time. I was still in the south, and it would be a few more years before I would sire Peter," I said.

"So you are the eldest of those changed by Carlisle?" Demetri asked Edward.

"I am. Carlisle found me in a hospital in Chicago dying of the Spanish Influenza. My parents had already died, and my mother begged Carlisle to save me. There was no way for him to save my human life, and my mother made him promise he would save me. He changed me in order to save my life," Edward replied.

"Fascinating, is this how all members of your coven were changed?"

"Jasper, Peter and Alice were changed under different circumstances. However, Rosalie, Emmett and Esme were all dying when Carlisle changed them," Edward replied.

"Most interesting, Carlisle always was a compassionate being," Demetri said. "Please carry on with the issues troubling your coven."

"Alice does not know who sired her, and she would have likely turned feral had it not been for Carlisle and Edward teaching her," I didn't add that she had seen them in her visions. No need to talk about her gift.

Demetri's eyes brows pulled together as he listened. "Where did her sire go?"

"He was destroyed while Alice was undergoing her transformation. We know that his first name was Joshua, and we learned today that his last name may have been Cameron," I said.

"Joshua Cameron, I have not heard the name before. Perhaps Master Aro would have heard it, and may have more information," Demetri said. "Who destroyed him, and why?"

"James and Victoria did, because he had changed Alice."

"That is rather odd, what interest do James and Victoria have in Alice?" Demetri questioned.

"Joshua was fond of Alice from what we have learned. We also know that she was in an asylum, but not exactly sure why she was there." That was a lie, but I was good at lying and Demetri did not see through it. We knew exactly why Alice was in the Asylum, and it had to do with her visions.

"Joshua was working at the Asylum, and found out that James intended to make a meal out of Alice. Joshua changed her in order to save her from James. So James killed him in retribution and left Alice to turn feral," I said.

"It is good that Carlisle and Edward found her." Demetri remarked. He had arrived to this conclusion on his own, which was good; it meant that he did not suspect anything. I did not correct his assumption.

"Alice brought Peter to our Coven about a decade ago. She met him during a time when she was on her own, and realized that they were meant to be together. I had left Peter with Maria when I went off on my own in the early 1930s. Peter left in the mid 1930s in search of me, and Alice found him. She did not know that I knew Peter until the day she brought him to us," I said.

Demetri listened intently as I continued to recall the events surrounding Peter, and Alice's arrival to our coven. I left out any details that would allude to Alice having never actually met any of us physically until that day. Alice recounted the attack on them by James and Victoria, and how she ran to find Edward and me so that we could rescue Peter.

"You already know about our last encounter with them in New Hampshire," I added.

"I get the impression that those two are nothing but trouble. Their actions in regards to Alice are disturbing, and quite frankly dangerous. If I did not have my current mission I would offer my aid to locate them and see to it that they answer for their behavior," Demetri said.

"What is your current mission, if you don't mind me asking?" I said.

Demetri sighed, "I do not mind. Master Caius has decided to send me to find a werewolf. I believe the creature maybe north of here, and curiously so are James and Victoria," Demetri said. There was some suspicion in his emotions, but I choose to ignore it.

"Werewolves are not a foe you face on your own," I said. I decided to change the subject a bit.

"That is very true, but there was no one available to come with me. Jane took Alec, Felix, Afton, and Santiago with her to deal with an issue in Mexico. It seems that one of the covens down there has forgotten the rules, yet again," Demetri said.

"However, you are right and facing a werewolf alone is not always the best strategy. Regardless it must be dealt with. This particular werewolf has reportedly been attacking humans from America to France in the past few decades," Demetri said.

"I thought the guard was larger then just a dozen vampires?" Peter said.

"It is much larger then a dozen vampires, but we have many responsibilities. Our primary responsibilities include the enforcement of our laws, the protection of Volterra, and special mission as deemed necessary by Master Aro," Demetri replied.

"Volterra is mostly crime free, Peter. There are also laws that prohibit hunting within the city walls. According to Carlisle the human authorities get most of the credit for keeping the city safe, but it is the Volturi who do the real work," Edward added.

"Yes, and occasionally we have vampires who try to test those laws," Demetri said.

"I assume that this creature's actions are threatening exposure?" I asked.

"Yes, which is why it could not wait until there are others available to assist," Demetri replied.

'_I think we should offer our help, and perhaps Demetri would be willing to help track James afterward,' _I said in my thoughts to Edward.

Edward moved his eyes up then down, to anyone paying attention it would have looked like he was looking at the sky then the ground.

"Perhaps we may be of some assistance to you on your mission. Peter and I have experience in dealing with werewolves. There have been a few times when I was in the south that one or more have threatened our territory. Edward and Alice also have extensive training to help protect our family from Maria, and are quite good in a fight."

Demetri took a moment to think over my offer. "It is most unusual for those outside the guard to offer us assistance, but the help would be appreciated. I accept you offer, and in return I will try to help you track James," Demetri replied.

"Thank you. That would be most appreciated," I replied.

"Then we have an agreement. Let us head northeast of here, and with any luck we'll be able to intercept the creature before it makes it back home to Siberia. The few remaining children of the moon that we know of live mostly in Siberia, but are difficult to find except for during the full moon," Demetri said.

"Let us be on our way then," I replied.

We left Poland behind us and were soon entering the Soviet Union. Demetri began explaining what was known about werewolves and how to best defeat them. This was mainly for Edward and Alice, but Peter and I did learn some from the discussion.

"They are strongest during the full moon, which began this evening. They are also weakest in the early morning as the sun rises and they change back to human form. The weakness can last a few hours, but then they are able to move about normally," Demetri said.

"They also don't possess the strengths of their wolf form when in human form, but they also are harder to track in that form. It's some sort of defense mechanism," I added.

"Master Aro would agree with you. He had much the same conclusion, because even their tracking marker alters itself slightly. We will need to pinpoint the location of the creature in wolf form if we are to deal with it in human form," Demetri said.

We neared Moscow as the sun began to rise. "We will need to find shelter," Alice said.

"Agreed, it appears that it will be a sunny day," Demetri remarked.

We found an abandon building on the outskirts of the city, and sheltered there for the daylight hours. The building appeared to be an old farm house that had been abandon some time during or shortly before the war.

Millions of lives were lost during the war, most taken by other humans. It was appalling to think of the number of people who died. The latest estimate put the number of dead at fifty million, and some as high as seventy million. It had been difficult to read the newspapers back home or listen to the news at night and hear about the details of the war.

"It would appear that this building was abandoned sometimes during the war," Demetri remarked as we made our way to a back room. There were few windows in this room, and it would provide better shelter. We covered up the windows, but allowed some light to stream into the dark room.

"I was thinking the same," I replied.

During the war we had tried to seclude ourselves from the public. Five able-bodied men not volunteering for the war or being drafted would raise suspicions. Even if we had wanted to fight, it was not possible. One sunny day and we would expose our kind. The worse case scenario we had thought up was one involving our fellow human soldiers bleeding beside us from a gunshot wound. We would have been over taken by bloodlust, and not only exposed ourselves but killed a fellow soldier.

Toward the end of the war we heard rumors of the concentration camps. It was soon confirmed by some of Carlisle's friends from Ireland. It was the one time where we actually felt compelled to find a way to end the war. Unfortunately we couldn't think of a way to do it without killing a large number of human or exposing ourselves.

There was one other rumor we had heard, but it was never confirmed. The rumor was that the Volturi may have taken out top Axis commanders and leadership. Part of me wanted to know if it was true or not, but a large part of me did not want to get into that discussion with Demetri. It would certainly be very easy for the Volturi to end the war if they felt it was endangering them.

There were a few chairs scattered about the room, and a table. When I was sure that the table and chairs weren't on the verge of falling apart I sat down. I pulled my traveling chess set out of my backpack. This set had belonged to me for as long as I could remember. I had faded memories of playing with fellow officers during my short-lived military career

It was a cheap chest set, but I liked it and it had sentimental value. Edward and Carlisle had purchased a new travel set for me shortly after I had joined the family, but I still preferred to play with this one.

Edward joined me for a match. I had learned to successfully block Edward from probing my mind for my next move. So long as I stayed focused, I would be able to easily beat or at least draw against him. Edward had learned a great deal of skill over the years and was a very good chess player, but he too often just picked the next move out of our heads.

"Peter, flip a coin," I said. Peter pulled a coin from his pocket.

"Call it in air," He replied, and then flipped the coin.

"Heads," I replied.

Peter caught the coin with his right hand and flipped it onto the back of his left hand. Edward was smirking as Peter revealed the coin; it was tail's side up.

"Your move," I said to Edward.

Edward made the opening move and our game began. After a few moves I noticed that Demetri was watching us intently. I was purposefully translating _Anna Karenia _into Russian. It seemed appropriate. Edward was giving me waves of annoyance, and I couldn't help but grin. It also helped that I was currently winning.

The match ended in a draw, and so did the next six matches. Demetri had watched them all and was giving off waves of amazement.

"I've never seen anyone play the same person and draw every time," He said.

"Edward and Jasper play often and in the last few years they almost always draw. They've played so often that they can anticipate each other's moves. It can be unnerving to watch sometimes," Peter said.

"It's actually quite frustrating," Edward said. I didn't miss that he was referring to his inability to bypass my mental block.

"Would you like to play?" I asked Demetri.

I noticed that he hesitated to reply. "I'm not very good."

"Practice improves your abilities. I'd be happy to give you some pointers if you are interested," I replied.

Demetri again hesitated, but then nodded his agreement. Edward stood allowing Demetri to take his place. Edward pulled up a chair beside me and then took a book out of his backpack. I spent the next hour teaching Demetri various moves, and how to spot potential moves by an opponent. Demetri proved to be a quick study, and by our fifth match he had picked up enough skill to draw against me. I was impressed, and suggested that he play against Peter.

Peter not one to back down from a challenge quickly agreed. The first two matches ended in a draw, but the third match went to Demetri. Unfortunately he allowed the win to boost his confidence a little too much, and he underestimated Peter; who won the fourth match.

The fifth and final match between them went on for nearly two hours as each painstakingly analyzed every move. Demetri finally won this match, and they ended their competition.

The day continued with activities to past the time, and it was soon sunset. We packed up our belongings and prepared to move. As we were leaving, I noticed that Demetri's emotions were filled with worry and annoyance.

"You seemed troubled," I said. It had also been evident on his face.

"I didn't do a very good job of keeping track of my target. I'm not sure, but I think the creature may have known it was being tracked. Its marker is much further east then I would have expected," He replied.

"How much further?" I asked.

"He will cross into Siberia in the next hour. We will not be able to catch him in time," Demetri said.

"What about James and Victoria?" I asked.

"They must have followed closely behind him. They will cross into Siberia a short time after the creature does," Demetri replied.

"We've come too far to turn back now," Peter said.

I agreed, but this was more then we had bargained for when we set out. I also had to take into consideration that Demetri would go on ahead and complete his mission, which might result in his death.

This was probably our best chance to get James, and I could not let him continue to live and harm my family.

"Let's go," I said. There was no decision to make; it had already been made when we set out. We'd keep going.

We left at once and ran as quickly as we could to catch up with our targets. It was nearing midnight when we finally crossed over into Siberia. Crossing the Ural mountain range had slowed us down some, but we still managed to make decent time.

"All three tracks are very close together," Demetri said.

"Let us proceed cautiously," I advised.

The full moon was out and its light shown intensely upon the forest around us. We could hear the sounds of a fight ahead as we drew closer. We stopped at the tree line, where an old road was overgrown with grasses and brush. Half a dozen yards ahead of us James and Victoria. They were locked in a battle with the werewolf, but did not appear to be making much headway.

Victoria's head snapped in our direction when we stepped out onto the road. "James, we need to fall back now!"

The werewolf has used the momentary distraction to move itself so that James and Victoria were now between him and us. James looked up and saw us, and annoyance crossed his face. I also felt it within his emotions.

James and Victoria backed away, but quickly turned and ran. Peter and Alice took off after them. _'Damn it!'_ I thought.

There was no time to stop Peter and Alice. The creature used this opportunity to change its attack and come after us. It lunged at Edward, but I knew he had seen this in the creature's thoughts. At the last possible second, Edward somersaulted over the creature and rolled into a crouch a dozen yards behind him.

I had expected the creature to come after Demetri or me since we were closer, but instead it turned and made another run at Edward. Demetri moved to intercept the creature, but it changed tactics and lunged at Demetri when he crossed into the path of attack.

Demetri did not have time to brace himself for the change in tactics as the creature's jaws clamped down onto his arm. I sprinted from my spot and leapt onto the creature's back. At the same time Edward leapt over my back and collided with a second werewolf who had joined the fight. The first werewolf released its hold on Demetri's arm when I bite into its neck and inject my venom into his body.

The creature cried out in pain as the venom began its attack. It would be a slow and painful death for the werewolf. Demetri stumbled backward, grasping his arm. I was certain he was in a great deal of pain as well. The creature I managed to bite deeply into the stone hard flesh, but had come away with nothing for its effort.

The creature threw me from its back and made a dash to get to Edward who was fighting with the other werewolf. I used the momentum from the throw to propel myself off of a nearby tree, and toward Edward.

Peter and Alice returned at this moment and Peter threw himself at the first werewolf. They went flying toward a nearby tree and I could hear the crunch as the werewolf's body impacted the trunk of the thick Fir tree. I landed a short distance from Edward and Alice.

Alice and Edward forced the second werewolf to back off, but it made an attempt to get to Peter. There was no time for me to get there.

"Jazz," Edward yelled as he started running toward me. I had a feeling I knew what Edward planned to do. I pulled up a memory of this maneuver from the few times we had practiced it. Edward kept running toward me, and I took that as confirmation.

I crouched down and interlaced my fingers. A half second later Edward's left foot made contact with my hands. I used as much strength as I dared and propelled Edward upward. He used the added momentum to somersault over me. His feet made contact with a large tree a few yards behind me. Edward changed directions with the help of the tree and was able to intercept the second werewolf.

I ran toward Edward and we finished off the second werewolf. When Edward and the creature landed it had crushed the werewolf's rib cage, and one of the ribs pierced its heart. I snapped the creature's neck and bit into it to be sure my venom would finish it off, if it somehow managed to start healing itself.

"Jasper, get over here," Peter yelled. Edward grabbed my arm before I could head over to Peter.

"Don't kill it yet. It has answers I need," Edward said in a whisper that only I could hear. I stared into Edward's eyes and they were pleading with me to just agree, and not ask questions. I sighed, but nodded my agreement.

Edward ran over to Demetri and Alice. I could now clearly feel pain coming from Demetri as the saliva of the creature burned the wound. It would not kill him, but it would cause excruciating pain. The only way to end the pain was to clean the wound carefully or wait it out.

When I got to Peter the creature had reverted to human form, and was in bad shape. That's when I recognized him as a man I had seen many years ago in the south. Peter and I had dealt with werewolves during our time with Maria, and I had dealt with them even before Peter was changed.

I had seen him in the town square in Monterrey during a time when we had been experience a large number of unexplained human deaths. We had at first thought it was a rival trying to get the Volturi to come take us out that thought changed when a patrol had sighted three werewolves in our territory.

Two had gotten away at the time, but the third we had destroyed. I now had a feeling that these were the same two werewolves who had killed dozens of humans for no reason. The humans had not been fed upon or turned by the werewolves. They had just been killed for sport it appeared.

"Don't kill him yet," I said to Peter.

I turned toward Edward who was attending to Demetri. "Edward."

"Just a minute, Jazz," Edward said then turned back to Demetri and Alice.

"Alice, take Demetri and Peter with you to that stream we passed a mile from here. I need you to clean out the wound as best you can. The cleaner you can get it the quicker the pain will pass," Edward said.

"It's going to hurt worse at first when she starts cleaning it. Any saliva that has dried will reactivate and it will add to the pain, but it will lessen as we get most of it out of the wound." Edward said to Demetri.

Demetri nodded, but I could tell he wasn't looking forward to having the wound cleaned. Peter and Alice left with him as Edward came over to where I was standing with the creature. I knew it was not healing, because the injuries were too severe.

He coughed up blood as Edward knelt down beside him, but the blood had no temptation for either of us. It smelled horrid, and it would taste even worse. I would rather drink the blood of a rodent then that of a werewolf.

Edward began questioning the creature when the others were out of hearing range.

"Tell me what happened to the boy in the memory you had just before you attacked me," Edward demanded.

The creature did not respond.

"We can do this the easy way or the hard way, but I will get the answers I want. I have the ability to extend your life and allow our venom to kill you slowly or I can end your suffering quickly, but only if you answer my questions," Edward growled. I hadn't ever seen Edward this angry. This was a side of Edward I had never seen, and to be honest it disturbed me. This was not the Edward I knew, and loved. What could this creature possibly be hiding that would cause Edward to act in this way.

The creature seemed to be contemplating its options, and I was sure it didn't like them. After coughing up more blood he began to speak.

"Two of your kind took him. They had golden eyes like you, but they were Volturi," The creature said.

"Did you bite him?" Edward demanded.

The creature was silent for a moment, but quickly started speaking again when Edward moved his left hand closer. "No. I swear I did not bite him. They arrived before I could do more then pin him to the ground. He was injured, and I doubt he would have survived if they did not change him."

"Show me your memories of everything you remember from the encounter," Edward demanded.

The creature complied with Edward's final demand. Edward stood and walked away from the creature. His emotions were filled with pain, worry and disbelief.

"Please, I've told you want you wanted. End it," The creature pleaded.

"Edward, are you done?" I asked.

Edward nodded, and I turned back to the creature. I broke his neck, which ended his life.

I then gathered up some brush and broken branches to start a fire. When the fire was going strongly, I tossed both corpses onto it and watched them burn.

Edward was facing away from me. "Edward."

Slowly Edward turned to face me and I could see the pain deep within his eyes, but I tried to ignore it. I wanted answers to what I had just witness.

"Not now, the others are coming. I promise I'll explain everything later," Edward said in a voice filled with pain.

My expression hardened, but I would not push him to discuss this in front of the others. _'We are going to talk about this later, Edward. You had better have a damn good reason for doing what I saw back there.'_

"I do," Was all he said.

The others joined us a few minutes later, and Edward check on Demetri's arm. I was sure Alice had seen the exchange in a vision. She gave both Edward and I concerned looks. When no one but I was looking at her, she mouthed the words. _'He has a good reason. Stop being angry with him, He needs you right now.'_

I knew I could not stay angry with Edward. It was not my nature to stay angry with anyone for long periods of time. Alice's word repeated themselves in my head, and my resolve to stay angry with him and get answers evaporated. _'I love you, Edward.'_

Edward turned his head to me and a small smile appeared on his lips. Edward reached his hand back out toward me, and I did not hesitate to take it. It was the first time we had ever shown affection for one another outside of our family and Garrett.

Demetri smiled, "I thought that might be the case."

I returned his smile.

We began our journey back toward Western Europe. I could feel Edward's need, and I sent him my love. He still handled my hand tightly as made our way toward Paris. Alice was not going to let me forget that I promised shopping.

We hadn't gotten James or Victoria, but we had potentially made an ally in Demetri.

"I owe you all my life. I would not have been able to handle both those werewolves on my own," Demetri said.

"We are glad we could be of assistance to a friend of our family," I replied.

We parted ways with Demetri where we had met him in Poland. He headed south back to Volterra, but promised to come visit us soon. His wound had healed almost completely, and he was thankful to Edward for helping reduce the pain of the bite.

We continued on to Paris, where Alice promised a week of cloudy and rainy weather. It would be Perfect weather for vampires who wanted to go shopping and sightseeing during the day time. I did not forget Edward's promise to explain what happened, but I would wait until the right time.

That time would come when Alice and Peter left us alone for a few hours while in Paris.


	23. Hope

**Chapter 23: Hope**

It had been nearly a week since the events that occurred in Siberia. We had not had a moment to ourselves until today. I'm not sure if a moment had presented itself before today if Edward would have been ready to talk about those events.

What I had witness in that forest was not the behavior of the Edward that I knew and loved. I could not fathom what would possess him to act in such a manner. A shiver passed through my body as the memory of that night drew a comparison to my time in the south.

Edward's actions that night had been those of a ruthless coven leader who held the life of their sworn enemy within their hands. I shook the image from my head, and tried not to think of it again. I had seen too much of that behavior in the south.

Alice's words from that night repeated themselves constantly in my head. _'He has a good reason. Stop being angry with him, he needs you right now.'_

I trusted Alice, and I knew she would not tell me something like this if it were not true. _ 'What had she seen?'_ I let her words from that night fill my mind, and I stood by my love. I shrouded him in my love, and held him as he dealt with whatever demon was haunting his steps.

I gazed out the window of our hotel room into the stormy skies that had covered Paris for the last week. I was vaguely aware of the light rain as it tapped against the window panes. My mind was filled with other thoughts and paid it no serious attention.

Normally the light rain would be a welcome sight to me. The image it portrayed brought back memories of my childhood that in recent years had seemed less faded with the help of my caring, and loving sister. The journals and photographs she had left me would on occasion draw out a faded memory. I cherished each of those memories, even if they only lasted a brief moment.

I heard his footsteps approach and my mind imaged the two of us as humans on such a day. Perhaps if it were snow instead of rain he would bring me a cup of hot chocolate and join me to watch the snow fall. I sighed as I pushed the conjured image away, and focused on the here and now. Edward was standing beside me with the sullen expression he had worn upon his angelic face for nearly a week. My favorite crooked smile had not adorned his face at all in the last week. Instead within his eyes hid the truth of what was going on in his mind. The pain and worry were etched upon his face, and it made him look so much older.

I reached out my hand, and he did not hesitate to take it. I pulled him down to me and wrapped my arm around him so that I still held his hand. He was now sitting with me on the sofa with his back pressed to my chest and the side of his head resting against mine.

His emotions had been raw all week, and I had to fight the urge to push away the pain, the worry and loss. I wanted so much to replace them with love, happiness and joy, but I knew that I couldn't do that. Whatever was troubling him needed to be faced in his own time. I tried to keep myself content with sending him my love each time we touched. It hurt to see the sad smile that crossed his prefect lips in response to my efforts. I knew that the smile was his way of acknowledging my efforts, but it wasn't my favorite crooked smile. I knew that he took a lot of effort for him to place just that sad smile there, and it only reminded me of the pain he was suffering.

"Jazz . . ." Edward said in a voice that expressed his true emotions. My heart ached to push away the pain, but I settled for sending him my love through our joined hands.

Edward's face turned toward me to give him that sad smile, but it would not grace his lips. My heart broke when my eyes reached his dark faded eyes. I could see the venom filling them, but there would be no tears.

I couldn't help it and I conjured up the happiest memory that we had shared together and I used all my strength to push away the pain, worry and sadness away. I shrouded us in this feeling of happiness and joy.

Edward rested his forehead against mine. "Thank you."

I moved my left hand so that the palm of it rested on the back of his left hand. I then intertwined our fingers, and noticed the rings upon our joined hands. They were tokens of our never-ending love for each other. I did the same with our right hands then wrapped our wraps around Edward and held him pressed against me as he settled back into his previous position.

"I know that my actions that night were deplorable, and that they shocked you. I had no right to act the way I did, but I wasn't thinking clearly. I promise that I will try to never let that side of me come forth again," Edward said.

"I'll admit that I was shocked, and the whole thing not only took me by surprise but was confusing. I've come to understand that whatever happened that night must have drawn up past memories of deep pain or caused you to regret your actions," I replied.

"Both," Edward said, and then rested his head against mine again. "I have secrets in my past too, Jazz," - Edward sighed - "maybe not secrets so much as things that I've not shared with anyone. They are things that happened in the past, and I had assumed that was the way they would remain. I didn't see a need to recount memories of events that had been painful. Events that I had hoped would fade with time if I didn't think about them or share them with anyone."

"What about now? Do you think maybe now is the time to share those memories?" I asked softly.

"The summer before I was changed was a very difficult time. Life had been great until that summer. My father was a successful lawyer, but he always made time for his family. It didn't matter the activity, everything from playing catch and going baseball games to being there when we need someone to look up too."

Edward had never really gone into much detail about his human parents. I knew how they had died, and their occupations but little more.

"My mother stayed home and ran the household. I was closest to my mother, and had many of her features. My hair and my green human eyes came from her."

I couldn't understand how any of this pertained to what happened in that Siberian forest. There was also nothing here that felt like it would bring out the actions I had seen in Edward.

"I was born June 20, 1901 as Edward Anthony Masen. I was named after my Father because I was the older of the two boys my mother gave birth to on that day," Edward said.

Everything in that moment clicked despite there being many blanks to fill in. The boy in the werewolf's memories had been Edward's twin brother. The reaction had been a natural instinct to protect or avenge a loved one.

Edward took a deep breath and forged ahead trying to restrain the pain that was threatening to overwhelm him yet again. I held onto Edward tighter and shrouded us tightly in our love.

"We weren't identical twins. Other then my hair and eyes I had my father's facial features. My twin brother had our father's blonde hair, but our mother's green eyes. He was more athletic while I was more bookish. I liked to play baseball and catch, but I wasn't into all the other sports he liked to play."

I tired to picture Edward with blonde hair and green eyes, but it just seemed all wrong. Edward actually chuckled at the image in my head. It was the first time I had heard a happy expression of emotion from him in a week.

"That's not a very good image of Riley," Edward said, and I realized he told me his brother's name. Normally twins would have similar names or at least names that start with the same letter.

"My parents were against that sort of thing. They viewed us as individuals even before they knew we weren't identical twins," Edward replied to my thoughts.

I felt his emotions shift and I knew we were about to start talking about what happened that summer in 1918.

"It was mid July, and Riley had gone to play baseball with some of our friends. I couldn't go because it was the day of the week that I had piano lessons. My mother grew worried when it became dark and Riley had not returned home. My father had a late night at the office dealing with some important clients, and did not get home until very late as well."

Edward took a deep breath, and tried to steel himself against the painful memories he was drawing up from his past.

"When my father arrived, and Riley still had not come home they called the police. It was nearly midnight. My mother had already called all of our friends, and no one has seen Riley since the baseball game earlier in the evening."

I could only image the thoughts that were going through the minds of Edward's parents. They would not have known about our world, and I doubt any of those things would have crossed their mind. There were plenty of human monsters out there and the results of such encounters would be no less horrible.

"Weeks passed and no news of Riley was coming. My father had powerful friends in the Mayor's office and they were applying a lot of pressure on the Police to turn up something. Then the pandemic started and even with my father's friends applying pressure it was pushed aside. There were more pressing concerns to deal with, is what my father had been told."

No parent would want to hear such a thing. There would be nothing more pressing to a parent then finding their missing child.

"My parents knew of my intention to join the Army the following year on my eighteenth birthday, but with Riley gone my mother made it a point to express her desire that I not go to war. Every meal she always prayed that the war would end before my birthday."

Edward shifted so that he could rest his head upon my chest.

"My father spent more time at the office, and when he wasn't there he would take us out of the house. I don't think he could stand being there if he could help it. Memories of Riley were everywhere. Then he became very sick. Mother knew that many people were dying of this illness and she had him admitted to the hospital."

No wonder his mother had begged Carlisle to save him. She'd lost one son and her husband. I could not fathom the emotions and thoughts running through her head as she watched Edward dying before her eyes.

"You know the rest that happened after that. I never told Carlisle about my twin brother, and I tried hard to forget about it. We had been close all our lives, and it just hurt to think about him. It hurt to think about my parents, and anything to do with my human life."

"Tell me about the memories the werewolf had," I said.

I felt Edward's anger, and it took him a moment to compose himself as he recalled the memories of the werewolf.

"He attacked my brother because he enjoyed the feeling of killing. He had no intention to bite my brother, only to kill him for the thrill of it. When he pinned Riley to the ground, he crushed numerous bones, and cause internal injuries."

Edward's voice was strained as he tried to maintain his control.

"Two vampires showed up and forced the werewolf to withdraw. They protected Riley, and I don't know why. I don't understand why others of our kind would trouble themselves with the life of a human, but part of me is grateful."

"I remember the werewolf said they had yellow eyes. Was one of them Carlisle?" I asked.

"No, but a friend of his of that I am sure. It is very odd, because as far as Carlisle is convinced he never made an impression on any of the Volturi. Yet, he is so mistaken by that notion. Demetri has a great deal of respect for Carlisle, and he is not he only one," Edward said.

"How do you know he is not the only one?" I asked.

"I recognized one of the vampires in the creature's memory. Carlisle's closest companion during his time with the Volturi was Eleazar. It was he who saved my brother from death at the hands of the werewolf," Edward said.

"You believe Riley is alive then?" I asked.

"I don't know. He would have likely been too injured for any doctor to help him. Internal medicine was still in its infancy. There is a great deal of available help for people with internal injuries, but I think his would have been too much," Edward replied.

"Maybe Eleazar changed him like Carlisle changed you," I suggested.

"I'm scared to hope that he maybe alive. I had put that life behind me, and mourned his death. I'm afraid that if I hope he's alive that I'll only find out he did die, and have to go through all that pain again," Edward said softly.

I instinctively tightened my hold on Edward. "I don't want you to be in pain, but I don't think you should withhold your hope that he's alive. I think it's already too late for that now, because if he is dead you will still feel the pain of his loss. I'd much rather you hold on to hope that he is alive," I said.

"I wouldn't want this life for him," Edward said.

"I wouldn't want it for him either, but we don't always get what we want in life. Sometimes we just have to play the hand we are dealt," I replied.

"When did you become so philosophical?" Edward asked.

"Wisdom comes with age, love," I said with a fake British accent.

I knew Edward wanted to roll his eyes at me, and I just grinned at him.

"So I guess we are going to Alaska," I said.

"Maybe," Edward replied.

"What do you mean maybe? Your brother could be alive and living with Eleazar . . ." I started, but was interrupted.

"I know that, Jazz. Part of me wants to go finding him, but I think I need to talk to Carlisle first. I have kept this from him for too long, and I don't think he'd be pleased with me if I returned home with my twin," Edward replied.

"Okay, well then _we_ will speak with Carlisle and the rest of the family. I think we should go look for him after that. I'm sure that Carlisle would want you to find out the truth, no matter what it maybe," I said.

"There is one other thing. Alice has been hiding her thoughts from me, and I'm not sure why. I think it may have to do with Riley, but we have not talked. I'm a bit afraid to ask what she has seen," Edward said but then his expression turned to one of extreme annoyance.

"Why are you so annoyed?" I asked.

"She's been translating _War and Peace_ into Russian. Seriously, do you two get together to think up ways of annoying me?" Edward said.

I couldn't help the chuckle that past my lips. Alice and I had not coordinated our mental blocking techniques but it was funny that we both choose Tolstoy to annoy Edward with on this trip.

"Tolstoy is fine; it's your translations that annoy me," Edward said. "Seriously translating any piece of literature from English back into its native language should be outlawed; especially when it's you and Alice translating it."

"What? At least I'm not as bad as Emmett," I replied making believe I was hurt.

Edward rolled his eyes at me, and I turned on the charm by giving him sad puppy dog eyes. Edward closed his eyes and shook his head, but he couldn't help the smirk that appeared upon his lips.

"I'm sure if Alice has seen anything that she will tell us when the time is right," I said.

"I know, but I can't help wondering what she may have seen. You also know that I'm thinking up the worse possible scenarios," Edward replied.

"Why does that not surprise me?" I said sarcastically.

Edward had decided that he wanted to speak with Carlisle privately about Riley. I understood his reasons for wanting to do so, but I couldn't help wanting to be there to stand beside him. Edward was appreciative of my intentions to stand beside him, but this was something he needed to do on his own.

'_I got into this mess on my own, and I need to get out of it myself,'_ He had said. I wanted to argue with him, but I knew I had to let him do it his way.

Alice had reassured me that it would go well, and that it would strengthen their bond as father and son. _'Stop worrying, Jazzy. They will work it out and their relationship a father and son will be stronger for it. Trust me.'_

I did trust Alice. We had gotten much closer over the last few years. Alice was so much like a little sister to me.

I couldn't help but pace back and forth while Edward and Carlisle were off _'hunting'_. I knew what was really happening, and I know that Alice had seen it all play out. When they returned, I had Edward in my arms and was enveloping him in my love.

"Family meeting," Carlisle said as he came into the house.

I pulled back from Edward and looked into his eyes. The weight on his shoulders and the pain in his eyes was diminished. When my favorite crooked smile graced his lips, I knew then that everything was going to be okay.

We gathered around the dinning room table as Carlisle called or family meeting to order. "You all know most of what happened during the recent events to protect our family from James and Victoria. There was another unexpected issue that arose from this trip."

Carlisle went on to explain that Edward had learned some information that affected him. He was careful not to go into details of how this information had been acquired. The others would assume that Edward just picked it out of the werewolf's mind. No one need to know to what lengths Edward had gone to acquire it.

Edward took over from here. "I don't talk much about my human life and that is mostly because the last few months were not very good."

Rosalie scoffed, and I shot her a look that said, _'don't fuck with me.'_ I was not about to let her cause Edward any additional pain.

Edward continued on as if she hadn't made a sound. "You all assume that I was an only child and I have never corrected that assumption. For that I am sorry, but it was just easier to agree then to recall some painful memories."

"Does that mean you weren't alone when Carlisle changed you?" Esme asked.

"I don't know. At the time that Carlisle changed me it was assumed that my fraternal twin brother was dead," Edward said.

Edward sighed and looked over at Emmett. "No, that would be identical twins. We didn't look alike, which means there were two eggs."

"Oh," Emmett said.

"Anyway, the summer before I was changed Riley went missing. By the time my mother and I were in the hospital we had assumed he had died. I've always had a hard time believing that he was dead, but it was easier. After I was changed and the years passed it was just easier to think he had died that summer," Edward said.

"What changed?" Esme asked.

Edward went on to explain about the memories of the werewolf, and how he knew that the boy was his brother. Most of the family was shocked by this news, and everyone was relieved that he had not been bitten by the werewolf.

Edward wrapped up the memories by telling everyone that it had been Eleazar and Carmen who had intervened to save his brother. "I don't know if he is alive, but part of me feels like he might be."

"When are we going to Alaska?" Emmett asked.

Everyone turned to look at Alice. "What?" she said exasperated.

I rolled my eyes. "You know what. When are we going and what are you hiding?" I said.

"I'll check the crystal ball and get back to you," Alice teased.

"Alice," Carlisle sighed.

"I can't ever have any fun," Alice said. "Fine, we should leave soon, but I don't have a lot to go on with this vision. I spent most of last week trying to find a decision from Eleazar, but had no luck. I finally got something when I decide we should go look for Edward's brother."

"What have you seen?" Edward asked.

"Like I said not much, I haven't seen your brother, but I have seen Eleazar and he does meet with us. I can't see past that point. I think a decision needs to be made there, but I'm not sure what it is or who needs to make it. I'm sorry, I wish I could be more helpful," Alice replied.

"I thought Eleazar was Volturi." Rosalie said.

"Eleazar most likely is in the same position as I. Some members of the guard are held to be extremely valuable to Aro and he allows you to keep your rank and influence. I think he does it because we might make us feel obligated to help him in the future," Carlisle said.

"What would he have done with Edward's brother?" Esme asked.

"Eleazar is different then most of the guard and his new yellow eyes attest to that. I think he may have changed Riley if he felt no other option was available," Carlisle replied.

"Does he have yellow eyes in your vision?" Rosalie asked Alice.

"Yes, as do all the other vampires I can see with him, but there are still several fuzzy faces." Alice said.

"Could one of those be Riley?" Peter asked.

"It's possible, but I think we'll only know if we go to Alaska," Alice replied.

Everyone turned their attention to Carlisle, but he turned to Edward. "This is your decision son."

Edward turned his head toward me, and his eyes show their indecision. I knew he was torn, but I knew he'd never have peace if he didn't go and get the answers he needed.

"You need to learn what happened to him, no matter what the end result was of that night," I said.

Edward nodded. "Pack a bag and be ready to leave in an hour," Carlisle said.

The next few hours were going to be difficult as we journeyed to Alaska. I prayed that the end result would be a happy ending for all of us.


	24. Riley

**Chapter 24: Riley  
**

We began our journey north to Alaska shortly after the family meeting. Traveling by foot we covered a great distance in only a few short hours. Passing through some of the most beautiful scenery I'd laid eyes upon.

Edward ran beside me as we covered the many miles that were now behind us. With each step we took that brought us closer to Alaska his emotions would become more and more anxious. He tried to keep a firm grasp on the hope that his brother was alive. I felt every twist, turn, up and down as Edward's emotional roller coaster sped through the track.

I tried to help, but his body fought my every attempt to influence his emotions. His body seemed to do the opposite of my intentions. A wave of calm feelings would increase his anxiety. A wave of hope would turn to fear. I finally let him feel my love for him and that seemed to do the trick. Edward calmed down and was hopeful again, until we reached Anchorage.

Anchorage was a small settlement of roughly eleven thousand people. During the war the government had established a military fort and air base near the settlement. The addition of the airport also helped fueled the rapid population growth that it was now experiencing.

It was very cloudy with dark clouds threatening to unleash a down pour of rain upon the quiet town. Anchorage being one of the few major settlements in Alaska made it likely that Eleazar and Carmen would visit here occasionally for material goods. Of course this was assuming they had a permanent home nearby.

We decided to split up and visit several of the local businesses. Our hope was either to find a trace of Eleazar's scent or someone whom he came in contact. Edward and I stopped in at Lee's Men's Wear, but we found no trace of Eleazar's scent. None of our family turned up any clues to Eleazar's whereabouts.

We left Anchorage and headed north toward the Denali Wilderness. Alice began to have visions that we were on the right track as we near Denali. Luck was also finally on our side as we crossed the path of several vampire scents.

"I recognize one of the scents. I'm certain that one of these scents belongs to Eleazar, and it is recent," Carlisle said.

"I think if we head further North we may cross paths with Eleazar," I suggested.

"Agreed, lets head north," Carlisle replied.

Carlisle led the way followed closely behind by Edward and me. As we journeyed North, I reached out with my gift searching for any emotions that were from outside our family. I wanted advanced warning of anyone who might be out there. I knew that Edward was listening for any thoughts floating around out there.

"About a mile ahead I'm picking up some thoughts. They are vampires, and I think that Eleazar is with them," Edward said.

I had picked up emotions from the group at the same time as Edward picked up their thoughts. The emotions emanating from them were pleasant, and calm.

"Can you tell how many there are?" Carlisle asked.

"There are at least four, but there could be more vampires further outside of my hearing range. They are searching for a baseball that they lost while playing a game of catch," Edward replied.

"How does a vampire lose a baseball? We have perfect eye sight," Peter said.

"I'm not sure, but one of them is cursing a vampire named Kate," Edward replied.

"I'm picking up some frustration directed toward one of the vampires. I assume that is probably Kate," I added.

"Let's go," Emmett said.

"Wait! I think we should split up." Alice said.

"Why?" I asked.

"I think it would make them feel more at ease if only a few of us approach them to start. The rest can approach after Carlisle has spoken with Eleazar," Alice said.

"Edward, Jasper, Esme and I will go on ahead. The rest of you wait here. Alice, watch for a decision for you all to join us," Carlisle said.

"Yes, that will work," Alice said.

We headed north again and soon emerged into a clearing where two vampires were impatiently awaiting the return of their friends. They looked toward us almost immediately after we exited from the wooded area to the south.

Both were female and average height. The one on the left had long blond hair and prominent high cheek bones. I would guess from her facial features that she was probably Eastern European. The other female had dark hair and was most likely of Spanish origin.

Edward and I stopped when we reached the half way point and allowed Carlisle and Esme to continue forward. When they reached the two females, Carlisle introduced himself.

"My name is Carlisle Cullen, and I'm looking for Eleazar," Carlisle said.

The dark-haired female smiled brightly. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Carlisle. My name is Carmen, and Eleazar is my mate. I have heard a great deal about you," Carmen said.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Carmen," Carlisle said.

Eleazar and another female vampire emerged from the wooded area to our right. The female was a strawberry blonde with similar features to the one who was with Carmen. They quickly came flitted over to Carlisle and Esme. Edward and I walked over to join them.

I felt Eleazar's surprise, and clear joy at seeing Carlisle. "Carlisle! My old friend, it has been so long since we've last seen each other," Eleazar said as he embraced Carlisle.

"It is wonderful to see you too, Eleazar. We've just arrived and were introducing ourselves to Carmen," Carlisle replied as they ended their embrace. "Let me introduce you to my wife, Esme."

Carlisle extended his hand to Esme who gladly took it and stepped beside him. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Esme," Eleazar said.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Eleazar. I have heard good things about you from my wonderful husband," Esme replied.

"I'll introduce the members of our coven who are here," Eleazar said. He turned to the strawberry blond, who had arrived with him. "This is Tanya, and she is our coven leader."

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Tanya," Carlisle said.

"The pleasure is mine. I have heard many good things about you, Carlisle. I've always wanted to meet you," Tanya said with a smile.

"This is Irina, one of Tanya's sisters," Eleazar said, as he pointed out the other female who had been with Carmen.

"It is nice to finally meet you, Carlisle," Irina. "Eleazar speaks very highly of you."

"There are two others of our coven, but they are looking for a baseball we managed to lose," Eleazar said with a sigh.

"Allow me to introduce the two oldest members of my family. The others will join us shortly." Carlisle said. Eleazar and the others looked curiously at Carlisle as he referred to us as his family.

"This is my son, Major Jasper Whitlock," Carlisle said.

Eleazar looked at me curiously, "Major, as in _the Major_?" Eleazar asked.

"That would be one of the names some used to refer to me at one time in my life, but that time is deep within my past. I prefer to go by Jasper, no fancy titles," I replied.

"I'm sorry. I don't believe I've heard of about anyone known as _the Major_," Tanya said as she looked at me.

"Jasper happens to be one of the most deadly vampires in our world. There are many stories about him in the south, but most revolve around him being unbeatable in a fight," Eleazar said.

"I just chose which fights I fought, and which I avoided," I replied.

"May I ask how you joined Carlisle's coven?" Eleazar asked.

"I assume you have already interpreted my gift?" I said.

"I have, but I'll leave it up to you if you wish to discuss it," Eleazar replied.

"Carlisle has a great deal of trust for you, so I do not mind discussing it in present company," I replied.

"I can see how being with Carlisle could be a benefit that is if I am reading you correctly as to the extent of your gift," Eleazar remarked.

"My gift has two components. I can feel the emotions of all those around me, but I can also influence them. There are only a few emotions that are beyond my ability to influence. As you can imagine, this gift can become a curse quickly when you can feel the emotions of your prey," I said.

"That must be horrible," Irina said.

"It's not pleasant. We can discuss it in detail later. I'm sure that Carlisle would like to introduce the rest of our family," I replied as the rest of the family soon began to join us.

"I'll introduce the new comers in a moment, but first allow me to introduce the oldest of my family that I changed," Carlisle said.

"Esme was not the first then?" Eleazar said.

"No Esme was the second human I changed, but I had met her several years prior," Carlisle replied.

Carlisle then motioned toward Edward. "Edward, was the first I changed. He and his parents became ill with influenza during the 1918 pandemic. Both his parents had died, and his mother's dying wish was that I do everything I could to save him," Carlisle said.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Edward. I get the feeling that our paths may have crossed in the past." Eleazar said curiously.

"We have not crossed paths, at least not in the way you are thinking. I go by Edward Cullen now, but when I was human my name was Edward Anthony Masen, from Chicago," Edward said.

Eleazar's eyes widen as he looked at Edward, then turn to Carlisle. Before anyone could say anything else, our conversation was interrupted by someone calling out behind Eleazar.

"I found it!" I shifted sideways to look around Eleazar and my eyes focused onto a boy in his late teens with short blonde hair. I knew immediately that this was Riley.

Edward and Riley locked eyes, and both were giving off waves of shock, joy, fear and disbelief. There was some confusion among some of the members of Eleazar's coven about what was going on.

Riley flitted over and stood mere inches from Edward. He tentatively raised his left hand and touched Edward's face.

"I'm really here. You're not dreaming," Edward said as Riley's hand touched his face. His normally musical fluid voice managed to crack as he spoke.

The next second the two of them were hugging each other tightly, and could make out quiet dry sobs from both as they reunited after nearly thirty years apart. I noticed that both Esme and Carmen's eyes were wet, but they were filled with emotions joy.

"I see we have a great deal to talk about," Eleazar said as he looked upon the two brothers.

Riley and Edward were giving off immense waves of happiness and joy. I couldn't help by gravitating toward them slightly. I was vaguely aware that Carlisle quickly introduced the rest of the family, and Eleazar suggested that we head to their home to continue our conversation.

Everyone, except for Riley, Edward and I began to follow Eleazar and Tanya toward their home. Edward and Riley stepped out of their embrace smiling. Riley looked over at me as Edward reached out his hand to me, and I took it.

"Jazz, I'd like you to meet my brother, Riley. Riley this is my best friend and mate, Jasper." Edward said.

"It's nice to meet you, Jasper." Riley said, but he quickly turned to Edward. "Did you say mate?"

'_Oh no,please don't get upset.'_ I thought. Edward wrapped an arm around me and held me close.

"I did," Edward said his eyes pleading with Riley to accept us. I wrapped an arm around Edward and kept a smile on my face, but beneath the surface I was worried Riley wouldn't accept us. We had been very lucky with all of our family accepting us. You could say in a way it had spoiled us that no one had yet rejected us. I prayed that Riley wouldn't be the first. I knew that if he did reject us it would crush Edward.

I felt Edward tense, but he tried to stay calm as he waited for Riley to say something. I was too tense myself to try and calm him down, but thankfully we didn't have to wait long for Riley's reply.

"This will take some getting use to, but as long as you're happy that is all that matters," Riley said. Both Edward and I were filled with relief at Riley's reply. "Come on, let's catch up with the others."

The three of us headed in the direction that our families had gone. I felt a bit of uncertainty from Riley and I wondered what he was worried about. Edward answered my unspoken question by answering Riley's thoughts.

"They died in 1918 of the influenza," Edward said.

"How . . . How did you know what I was thinking?" Riley asked.

"I can read your mind," Edward replied with a grin.

"Oh, well that can be useful." Riley replied. "Is that what lead to your change?"

"Yes. Carlisle is a doctor, and . . ." Edward began, but was interrupted by Riley.

"Wait, a doctor? What about the blood?" Riley asked.

"Human blood has no effect on Carlisle. It hasn't had any effect on him in more then a century." Edward replied.

Riley was surprised and curious. "How is that possible?"

"Years of Practice and lots of patience. You would need to ask Carlisle all the details, and I'm sure he'll be happy to share his knowledge," Edward replied.

"Does human blood still affect the two of you?" Riley asked.

"It still has an effect on us, but we are able to resist," Edward said.

Riley decided to change the topic and looked over at me. "Do you have a gift, Jasper?"

"I do. I can feel and influence the emotions of people around me," I replied.

"That sounds impressive," Riley said.

I shrugged, "It's useful, but it can also be a curse."

"Ask him, it's his story to tell not mine," Edward said. I looked at Riley and Edward curiously. "Riley is curious about your scars."

"I fought in the southern wars. When I was changed, I knew nothing about life here in the north. I was led to believe that war was all there was to this life. I have many scars from the many battles, and fights I fought," I said while rubbing my hand right hand over the scars hidden beneath the left sleeve of my shirt.

"I am one of the most feared, and deadliest vampires on Earth," I sighed, and smiled at Riley. "That life is thankfully behind me, thanks in large part to Edward. I was on my own when Edward found me, and taught me about this way of life."

"How long were you part of the wars?" Riley asked.

"For more than I care to count, but about sixty years. That is considered to be a very long time for any vampire from the south. Most vampires in the south don't live past their first year," I replied.

I didn't know how much Riley knew about the southern wars, and I wasn't exactly comfortable discussing this part of my life so soon after meeting him. It had taken me a while to full open up to Edward about my past. There were still things that happened back then that I preferred to keep to myself.

"May I ask a question?" I said.

"You just did," Riley replied with a smirk.

I sighed, "Oh great another, Emmett."

Before Riley could express his thoughts, Edward answered. "One of our brothers, his name is Emmett. He's always making some stupid remark or some sexual innuendo. "

"You were going to ask me something?" Riley said to me, he appeared to be annoyed with Edward.

"I was curious to know if you are gifted," I asked.

"I am, but it's not as cool as being empathic," Riley said.

"You can project?" Edward said.

"Oh my God that is going to get so annoying," Riley said exasperated. "I take back what I said, it's not useful at all. It's annoying! How do you stand it?"

"Welcome to my world." I laughed, and was quickly smacked hard on the ass.

"Ouch, that hurt." I pouted while rubbing my bum.

"Do you want me to kiss it and make it better?" Edward asked.

"Yes!" I said with a grin.

"Well how about I just do this for now," Edward said, then leaned in and gave me a passionate kiss on the lips.

"Ugh! Hello. I'm still here," Riley said.

Edward pulled back grinning. "I know."

"Edward, you're making your brother feel uncomfortable," I said.

"I know," Edward grinned.

"Edward had the habit of doing things to embarrass me when we were kids," Riley said. "I see he hasn't changed."

"What? I find I hard to believe that Sweet and innocent Edward would embarrass anyone?" I said.

"It's all an act," Riley laughed. "He's so not sweet or innocent."

"It is not. I'm too sweet and innocent. Okay maybe not innocent, but I am sweet. Just ask Jazz," Edward laughed. I knew exactly what Edward was implying, but I wasn't sure if Riley did until I felt his emotions express his discomfort.

"You have been spending way too much time around Emmett," I said.

"I'm sorry, Riley. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I'm just trying to show you that I'm still the same Edward from our childhood," Edward replied.

"Actually, Edward is quite the gentleman. He is really sweet and protective of all of us," I added.

"Edward has always been protective of those he loves. Even thought we are the same age he was always looking out for me," Riley said.

"So about this gift of yours, what is it?" I asked.

"I'm able to project my thoughts, but Eleazar thinks there is more to it. We just haven't been able to figure out the other part of my gift. Eleazar thinks that maybe there needs to be something to trigger it," Riley replied.

This was very interesting. Riley was able to do the exact opposite of Edward. Edward's gift was the ability to read the minds of those around them and Riley could project his thoughts into their minds. It made me wonder if perhaps their gifts might be linked in some way.

"That is a very Interesting thought, Jazz," Edward said.

"What's interesting?" Riley asked.

"Jazz, was thinking that maybe our gifts are linked in some way," Edward replied.

"Linked how?" Riley asked.

"I'm not sure, and it was just an errant thought," I paused and ran a hand through my hair. "What if Edward is that trigger or the key. I mean the two of you have gifts that are exactly the opposite of the other, so maybe the key to whatever else you can do is linked to Edward. It could also mean that Edward's gift has a second component that we don't know about."

"That's an interesting theory. We should discuss it with Eleazar," Riley said.

"I seriously doubt there is a second component of my gift. I think we would have discovered it by now if there was something more to it," Edward replied.

"I disagree. If Riley were the trigger for that gift then you wouldn't have discovered it yet," I replied.

"Maybe, but I still doubt there is more to my gift," Edward said. "Besides, I don't think you'd want me with a more annoying gift." He did have a point. His gift was annoying enough without it becoming expanded.

We stepped out into a large clearing near a small creek, and nestled against the forest to our right was a large log cabin home. The house was two stories, but included a lower level basement which you used to enter the home.

The house appeared to be constructed in three sections. The middle section of the house extended outward from the two _wings._ The first level above the basement had a large porch the extended from end to end and wrapped around the middle section that extended out toward the creek. The second level had two smaller porches that butted against the middle section and extend out toward the end of the wings.

The middle section of the house had numerous large windows that looked out over the creek. The center of this section contained a large stone chimney that extended from the first level upward.

The home was built so that the basement level was surrounded on three sides by the landscape, and only the entrance was visible. It just fit perfectly with the setting.

"Wow! This is beautiful," I said.

"Thanks," Riley said. "Eleazar, Tanya and Kate did most of the work to build it a few years ago. I tired to help, but I'm not very good with my hands when it comes to that kind of thing. Irina and Carmen did all of the interior decor."

Edward looked at me with a strange look in his eye. "You really like it?"

"Yeah, I love it. It's the perfect place to get away from the busy city life and back to nature. It's my kind of place," I replied.

"Maybe we'll have to build one of our own," Edward said with a wink.

Riley showed us around the basement and first level before we meet up with the family in the large room on the main level. He had explained that all the furniture had been crafted by them, and that Tanya and her sisters had treated numerous animal hides and furs to be used all around the house.

Riley also said that though they didn't need them, they still used the fire places to heat the home for the human _male_ guest Tanya and her sisters occasionally brought home. I didn't get what Riley was implying when he emphasized the word male. Edward had to explain that Tanya and her sisters liked male lovers.

'_Ah, so that is where the succubus legend comes from,'_ I thought.

Vampire legends were usually wrong or misleading. The legend of the succubus claims that female vampires have sexual relations with human males. This really is just a rouse to cover the true motive of the vampire, which is to feed. I had a feeling that while this may have been true of Tanya and her sister early on, that this must have changed to a purely sexual relation with their diet.

Sex leads to an emotional connection between the partners, and those emotions can be quite intense even between non mated vampires. Sex between mated vampires can be mind blowing. Sex with Edward is definitely mind blowing.

I had to change the direction of my thoughts or I'd end up with a very noticeable problem. Edward and I haven't had sex in almost two weeks, and I haven't used my hand for relief in a long time. Thankfully I was pulled from my thoughts when we joined everyone in the main room of the house.

"Well it's about time, did you all get lost?" Emmett laughed.

I rolled my eyes. "Emmett . . . You know what, never mind. It's not worth the effort," I said.

Riley and Edward exchanged a silent conversation then Riley turned to his coven and addressed them. "I'd like to introduce you all to my fraternal twin brother, Edward, and his mate, Jasper."

"Damn it, all the hot male vampires are always taken," Kate complained, "Wait, you two don't happen to go both ways do you?"

"Sorry Kate, but I only have eyes for Jazz," Edward said with a smile as he wrapped an arm around my waist.

I felt all their disappointment, but I also felt jealousy coming off of Tanya. I wrapped an arm around Edward's waist, and smiled.

"They look so cute together," Irina said.

"Thanks," Edward and I mumbled completely embarrassed by the attention.

"You should see when they have sex, it's freaking hot!" Alice said.

"ALICE!" I said completely mortified.

"Alice, I thought I told you to stop watching us. You do know that is really creepy," Edward said.

"I'm a voyeur, what can I say?" Alice shrugged.

Kate and Irina were snickering from the sofa they shared. Esme and Carlisle looked almost as mortified as I did. Emmett was trying hard not to burst out laughing, and Peter had his head in his hands. I didn't look at anyone else, and the embarrassment was still mounting.

"Eleazar, we wanted to talk to you about my gift. Jasper had an interesting theory that I think you should hear," Riley said. I send Riley a wave of thanks for changing the subject and saving me further embarrassment.

"I'm always interested in hearing theories. I assume we are talking about the second part of your gift that we have been unable to establish how it functions?" Eleazar said.

"Correct. Jasper's theory may be a good place to start," Riley replied.

"May I ask what your gift entails?" Carlisle asked.

'_I am able to project my thoughts to others,'_ Riley said via his thoughts to all of us.

"Amazing, you can do the opposite of what Edward does," Carlisle said.

"That's what I said earlier and my theory is based around that in a way. Riley said that Eleazar believed that there was something missing to trigger the second component to Riley's gift. I think that trigger or key is Edward," I said.

"Interesting theory and it could be very possible that there is a link between the two of them." Eleazar said, and then he seemed to be using his gift to probe for a connection between Edward and Riley.

"Your minds are very similar, but also very different. It is a bit difficult to explain what I read from the two of you. Also, the second component of Riley's gift appears to be more energized in your presence."

"How does Riley's gift work?" Carlisle asked Eleazar.

Riley chose to answer this question. "I can focus in on either one person and speak directly to them, or project to everyone within range."

"My gift works in a similar way. I can focus in on one person and hear just their thoughts or I can hear the thoughts of everyone within the room. However, if there are a lot of people the room then it becomes overwhelming. I try to just focus on one person or tune everyone out, and it becomes a hum in the background," Edward said.

"I want to do an experiment," Eleazar said. "Riley, come stand over by me for a moment."

Riley moved over to where Eleazar stood. Eleazar then looked between Edward and Riley several times before sending Riley back to stand near Edward. "You are correct, Jasper. There is most definitely a link between the two of them. It is stronger the closer they stand to each other."

"Perhaps it would be even stronger with physical contact," Carlisle hypothesized.

"Yes, I was thinking the same," Eleazar said. "I'd like the two of you to hold hands, with your palms touching. Typically gifts of the mind that require contact have a stronger connection through our hands, specifically the palms,"

Edward slipped his right hand into Riley's left hand. The moment their hands touch Riley staggered forward and pulled his hand from Edward's and clutched a hand to his head.

"RILEY!" Edward said in a panic.

"Just give me a minute," Riley said as he took several deep breaths.

I wrapped my right hand around Edward's left arm and sent a strong wave of calm into him. Edward was still panicked but it was slowly easing.

"I'm okay that was just a bit overwhelming," Riley said.

"What happened?" Eleazar asked.

"I could hear what everyone was thinking, and it happened so suddenly I wasn't prepared," Riley said.

"Amazing, you were able to tap into Edward's gift. I wonder if it works both ways?" Carlisle said.

"I believe it does," Eleazar said. "Both of their gifts became much more energized, and Riley's is still in an energetic state. I wonder if Edward can project his thoughts."

"I don't know, and even if I could I wouldn't even know how to go about doing it," Edward said. I could tell from the sound of his voice that he was still very concerned about Riley.

"It's easiest to start by focusing on one person and visualizing speaking to them. When Eleazar and I started practicing together I would look into his eyes and visualize speaking to him through my eyes," Riley said.

"It might work best if you try with someone you are closely linked. I'd recommend you try with Jasper," Eleazar said.

"Um... Okay," Edward said.

Edward turned so that he could look into my eyes. I kept my hand on his arm even though he no longer needed calming. Our eyes locked together, but I couldn't hear any thoughts from Edward.

"Try holding hands," Eleazar suggested.

I moved my hand down Edward's arm to his hand and he squeezed his hand around my fingers. He then focused on my eyes again and I sent him a wave of confidence.

'_Jazz, can you hear me?'_ Edward said, but his lips didn't move. I couldn't help the huge grin that spread across my face.

'_I can hear, Edward,'_ I thought.

"It's working," Edward said.

"I can also hear Jasper. It's a weak connection, but it's there," Riley said.

"Riley, move over here again, then tell me if you can still hear Jasper. Edward I want you to try projecting to Jasper again," Eleazar said.

Riley moved over to stand near Eleazar.

'_Riley, can you hear me?'_ I said with my thoughts, but Riley did not reply.

'_I don't think he can hear you, Jazz. He is still waiting for you to say something. Are you still able to hear me?'_ Edward said in his thoughts.

'_Yes. I can still hear you, Edward,'_ I replied in my thoughts.

"I am still able to project my thoughts to Jasper, but Riley hasn't indicated with his thoughts that he can hear Jasper," Edward said.

"I can't hear him," Riley said.

"Distance is a factor, which is not surprising." Carlisle said.

"It's a very short distance," I remarked.

"That's because it's a new part of their gift that they have not developed. Given enough time I think they could share their gifts over greater distances. I am surprised that Edward is still able to project. I wonder if it is because you are holding hands or if it is because you are mates," Eleazar said.

Carlisle came over to where Edward and I were standing. "Release Jasper's hand and take mine."

Edward let go of my hand and took Carlisle's left hand. "Try projecting your thoughts to me."

"I have been since I took your hand," Edward replied.

Carlisle frowned, but looked over at me to see if I could hear Edward. I shook my head. "No, I can't hear him at the moment."

"So it is a combination of both factors," Eleazar said. "Edward, take hold of Jasper's hand again and see if you can project to him again."

Edward released Carlisle's hand and took mine again. _'I love you, Jazz,'_ I heard in Edward's thoughts.

'_I love you too, Edward'_ I replied in my thoughts.

"It is working again," Edward said.

"It is it possible that this could work without touch?" I asked.

"I believe it could, but it would take time to develop. I also think that the distance could be increased to the maximum range of their gifts," Eleazar said.

"I can hear a mind that I am familiar with up to a few miles away," Edward said.

"I've never tired projecting further then a mile or so away," Riley said.

Riley moved back over to where Edward, Carlisle and I were standing. "Carlisle let me see your hand again. I want to see if this works now that Riley is closer," Edward said.

Unfortunately it did not work, which I found odd. Why would it only work with me and not with Carlisle? They also tried with Riley holding Edward's other hand, but had no luck. Riley was also able to better handle the flood of thoughts. Edward had focused on Carlisle's thoughts and Riley wasn't bombarded by everyone this time around. Carlisle and Eleazar then spend the next twenty minutes discussing why it only worked with me, but they didn't reach a conclusion.

Esme and Tanya were deep into a discussion about the house. Tanya was explaining how they had found most of the trees used in the construction of the house in a forest a hundred miles away to the west. They had painstakingly chosen each tree based on its size, shape and length.

Okay that was a boring conversation, but tuning into Alice, Kate and Irina wasn't much better. They were discussing the latest fashion. The one friendship developing that surprised me at first was Carmen and Rosalie, but as I listened to their conversation it seemed that Carmen had been from a well to do family in Spain.

Edward grabbed my attention when he slipped his hand into mine. _'Come on, we're going hunting,'_ Edward said through his thoughts. Riley, Edward, Emmet, Peter and I quickly waved bye to everyone as we left to go hunt.


	25. Wager

**Chapter 25: Wager**

Riley led us North to a hunting area that was one of the many places the Denali clan rotated through. We had come here to hunt because Riley had told Emmett that the largest bears he had ever seen where polar bears. Emmett jumped at the chance to take one down.

'_He'll never get over that first encounter,'_ I thought with a sigh.

"Are you excited about taking down a polar bear, Emmett?" Riley asked.

"Emmett is just competitive. He claims that Jazz and Edward always cheat because of their gifts. He and I are pretty evenly matched up, so he doesn't get to win as often as he'd like. He also has a vendetta against bears," Peter said.

"No way are we evenly matched up! I've beat you more times then you've beat me." Emmett protested.

"Kate is quite competitive, maybe you should challenge her," Riley said. I noticed that his emotions were peaking with mischief.

'_What is Riley up to?'_ I thought.

"She's a girl. I can't fight with her that's just wrong," Emmett said.

Edward ran up along side me and we continued on together. As discreetly as possible Edward slipped his hand into mine and shared the memory of what Riley was thinking.

_Emmett and Kate are sitting at a table and arm wrestling. The back of Kate's hand was close to touching the wooden surface of the table. Emmett was smiling broadly and looking smug, but then his expression changed and Emmett was laying flat on his back._

'_What the hell?'_ I thought.

'_Kate has a gift. She's able to generate an electric field around her body and shock anyone who touches her,' _Edward replied in his thoughts.

I couldn't help but grin as I thought up my evil plan to pay Emmett back for the biting Edward during sex incident. It was a shame I couldn't get Peter, but he would too easily suspect something. Emmett was so much more trusting. I quickly slipped my hand out from Edward's grasp.

I put on a straight face and made sure my emotions were in check. "Hey Emmett, I think you should challenge Kate to an arm wrestling match. She is a vampire after all, but if you're too afraid to lose to a girl..." I said, and just left it hanging out there for him to bit.

"I'm not afraid. I'll challenge her when we get back," Emmett quickly responded.

'_Way too easy, but need to make sure he is committed before I let it go.'_

"You don't have to do that Emmett. We won't hold it against you," I added.

"I want to, but don't want to upset her when she loses," Emmett said.

"Kate's a big girl, she wouldn't be that upset. Besides I doubt she'll lose. She's never lost an arm wrestling match yet," Riley replied.

'_Nice baiting there, Riley,' _I wasn't totally sure he'd hear me, but either way he should be congratulated.

"Really? I guess I'll be the first to change that," Emmett said with a huge smile.

'_Too easy!' _ I thought.

"Never lost a match?" I asked.

"Nope, never," Riley replied.

"Emmett, how about a little wager," I said.

"Bring it little brother," Emmett said.

"Emmet, I'm older then you," I snapped.

"Whatever," Emmett said.

"If Kate wins, then you have to buy me a Jaguar XK120," I said. I'd been eyeing that car for months, and really wanted to buy it.

"Not going to happen. What do I get when I win?" Emmett replied.

"If you win," I qualified. "What do you want?"

"An all expenses paid week in Paris with Rose," Emmett replied.

"You're on," I said and extended my hand. Emmett took my hand and we shook on the wager.

"Do you all wager like that often?" Riley asked.

"Not often, but there is little else to do with our money," Peter said, which resulted in a smack to the back of the head from me.

"What did I say?" Peter asked as he rubbed the back of his head.

"It's rude to talk about money," I said.

"We don't wager often because there is little of interest to wager on. There are also certain people I don't wager with any more because they cheat," I said the last part while looking pointedly at Edward.

"It was so worth it," Edward grinned and licked his lips.

"Ugh!" Riley said. "I need to figure out how to turn off this new ability. I don't need to know about my brother's sex life."

"That's nothing. You should hear them when they are actually having sex. _Fuck me harder, Jasper,_" Emmett said imitating Edward's voice.

"Can't be worse then having to listen to you and Rosalie and the sounds of the furniture and walls you break while having sex!" Edward replied.

"Well at least we're not like Peter and the pixie, which are constantly eye fucking each other when you look at them," Emmett added.

"Hey! We do not eye fuck each other," Peter complained as he tackled Emmett to the ground. They began to wrestle with each other.

"Oh my God! I'm not going to be able to look at either Alice or Rosalie again without getting these mental images popping up in my head," Riley complained.

"Now you know how I feel," Edward said as we continued on leaving Peter and Emmett behind.

"Hey, wait . . . Hmpf," Peter started to say but was tackled by Emmett knocking the air from his lungs.

We continued on and ignored the two idiots as they play fought behind us a distance. We walked ahead a few miles, but when Peter and Emmett hadn't caught up Edward decided to go check on them. Riley and I stayed behind to wait for them to catch up.

"Sorry, about that back there," I said after Edward had left.

Riley sighed. "I'm sorry. It wasn't the conversation so much that bothered me."

I wasn't sure if I should prompt him to tell me what the issue was or let it go. Riley didn't know me and there was no reason for him to confide in me. I decide to take a chance and offer an ear to listen.

"Do you want to talk about what is troubling you? You don't have to, if you don't want to," I said.

"It's silly, never mind I said anything," Riley replied.

"It's not silly if it's bothering you. Whatever you say stays between us, well and Edward since he can probably still hear our thoughts out this far," I said.

Riley remained silent and I took that to mean he didn't want to talk about it. I caught the scent of a lynx and thirst flared up. I headed North in the direction of the scent with Riley beside me. He stayed close until we caught the animal a half mile further into the forest. I indicated that he could have the kill if he wanted, but he shook his head no.

'_I hunted a few days ago. Go ahead, he's all yours,'_ Riley projected.

I quickly took down the large cat and drained it. The burn in my throat was now abated, and I felt much better. I turned to see Riley perched on a fallen tree. I quickly joined him and decided to press the issue.

"Tell me what's bothering you. You're emotions are all sad, and I don't like sad emotions," I said.

"I'm not sure what it is that's bothering me," Riley said, and I quirked an eyebrow in challenge to his statement.

Riley sighed, "I see you're not so easily fooled."

"I'm over one-hundred years old. You're going to have to try harder then that to fool me. Now, what's wrong," I replied.

"I feel alone in a way. Carmen and Eleazar have each other, and while they do look out for me I feel out of place. Tanya and her sisters look out for me too, but I'm not really close to any of them. Especially not close like Tanya would like," Riley said.

"You don't have anyone to confide in, or someone who gets you?" I said.

Riley nodded his head. "You and Edward were close while growing up?" I asked.

"Yes, very close. I guess when you share close quarters with someone you grow attached to them," Riley said with a laugh.

"In a way you have him back now. I know it won't be the same as when you were growing up, but he's back in your life," I said.

"I know that, but I also see how Peter, Emmett, Edward and you all interact. It's hard to admit this but I'm envious of that connection. I haven't had any connection like that since that night I didn't come home," Riley said sadly. I could feel the hurt and pain in his emotions that was caused that night.

"I think that is one place where I can relate," I replied. Riley quirked an eyebrow at me, and he was now curious.

"Earlier in this life I was alone too, but at the time I was not fully aware of what I was feeling. It took me a long time to realize that things were not as they seemed. I had been lied to and used because of my gift and abilities," I said.

"You said you were part of the southern wars, is that why you were changed?" Riley asked.

"Yes," I said. I turned by body so that I could face Riley, and at the same time I rolled up the shirt sleeve on my left arm.

"There is a reason I wear long sleeves," I said as Riley looked on with amazement, horror and sadness at my scars. He had seen some of them earlier, but I don't think he had truly realized how scarred my body really was.

"What happened?" Riley asked, but I'm sure he knew the answer.

"I was changed during the Civil War. I joined the Confederate Army in support of States Rights. I was seventeen at the time, and rose quickly through the ranks. When the first battle of Galveston occurred I was nineteen and the youngest major in all of Texas," I slipped my backpack off and then reached inside and pulled out Michaela's bible. I had come into the habit of carrying it with me everywhere I went lately. It made me feel like she was still with me in a way. I opened it to the spot where she had placed the photo of me, and handed it over to Riley.

"This is really impressive," Riley said as he looked at the photo before handing it back to me.

"I had a short, but very promising military career. People listened to what I had to say and it helped me immensely. My father always said it was charisma, but now I know it was something more."

I put the photo back in its place inside of Michael's bible. Riley noticed what the book was and gave me a questioning expression.

"It belonged to my sister, Michaela. It's one of the most important reminders I have of the gift she gave me," I said. I couldn't help that my eyes watered at the thought of my sister. I smiled and continued on with my story.

"I had negotiated a temporary agreement with the Union commander to evacuate the women and children from the town. My commanding officer took the opportunity to evacuate the troops as well, but I only learned this afterward. It took most of the day to organize everyone and it was after dark by the time the first group was settled in Houston."

I looked off into the distance as memories of that night flooded back to me. "We didn't have much time to get everyone evacuated, and with that in mind I headed back to Galveston. On the road back I stopped to offer my aid to three women. I had thought they were stranglers from our group, but that was not the case."

I looked back at Riley, "Maria, Nettle and Lucy, those were their names. Maria was the leader. I had been taught to respect and treat women kindly. Though my instincts told me to run my upbringing kept me there."

I sighed and rubbed the bit mark on my neck as if it still hurt. In a way it would always still hurt because of what I had lost, but I had to sometimes remind myself that I had gained much in exchange.

"There was a time in my life when I hated Maria for what she did to me, but then I look at Edward and I realize that I never would have met him or be part of this wonderful family. Maria taught me to fight, and I've never lost a fight. Every one of the vampires who bit me, except for Maria, are nothing more then a pile of ashes."

I smirked as I thought about Edward biting me. "Oh and Edward…"

Riley groaned when I added that last part.

Sorry." I chuckled, and then continued.

"I was her chief lieutenant and her lover for many years. She told me that this life was all about the war and I believed her. She manipulated me and used me because I was a superb tactician, I could defeat any vampire who tried to take me on, and I could control a large army of newborns with my gift." I had been a fool to believe her so easily, but I knew that anyone in my position would probably have done the same.

"Despite there being as many as thirty people around me at any given time I felt alone. I thought for a time that I loved Maria, but I learned it was only lust I felt for her. I never felt true love until I met Edward."

"I didn't have a real friend until Peter became part of Maria's coven. Peter was changed because of me, and by me. He's never been angry about it and he's seems happy with Alice. I can't change what happened, and I don't think I would if I had the opportunity."

"I thought there was a connection between you and Peter. You kind of treat him like a little brother, but there seems to be a bit more," Riley said.

I laughed, "We think of each other as brothers, and we have for a long time. Peter, however, is the grandson of my human brother, Nicholas," I said.

Riley looked at me stunned.

"I didn't know that when I changed him, and I may never have found out if it wasn't for my sister Michaela," I added.

"Is she a vampire too?" Riley asked.

"No. Michaela lived a full human life, and passed away a few years ago. It's a long story for another time," I said before he could ask more.

"Did Peter know who you were when you changed him?" Riley asked.

"No, it wasn't until a few months after his change when Maria called me Major Whitlock that he put it all together. He kept quiet about it until he and Alice showed up at our home in New Hampshire a decade ago," I answered

"I guess you can relate in a way to how I feel, but I think that you may have had it worse then me," Riley said.

I shrugged. "It's the past. I am happy now. I have this great family that loves me and is filled with the most amazing and pleasant emotions I could possibly wish to be immersed in."

Riley was silent for a moment. "I had talked to Eleazar about going out on my own a few months ago. He told me that the decision was mine to make, but I've been a little afraid to go out on my own."

"I can understand that too. Not knowing what was out there and being told it was only war made me fearful in a way to be on my own. I knew I could take care of myself, but the life I had with Maria was all I knew at the time.

"I want to see the world, but I don't want to do it alone. I thought about asking Tanya or one of the others to go with me, but I don't want to give Tanya the wrong idea," Riley said, and I quirked an eyebrow.

"Tanya has a thing for me," Riley said.

"Oh, I see. You don't return those feelings I take it?" I replied.

"I thought you were an empath?" Riley laughed.

"I am, but I don't go poking around in the emotions of others if I can help it. I don't poke around in the emotions of my siblings unless it's necessary. I know Rose and Emmett love each other by their actions, not by their emotions," I said.

"No, I don't return her feelings. We've discussed it and she's giving me space, but I know she still hopes that one day I will change my mind," Riley said.

"When you find that special person I'm sure you'll know instantly that they are the one for you," I said.

Riley smiled and then turned serious again. "Do . . . Do you think . . . Never mind," Riley said quickly and turned away from me. I grabbed his shoulder and turned him back to face me.

"If you're asking for a travel companion, then I'm sure that Edward would agree to go with you." I said.

Riley shook his head, "I couldn't do that to you or Edward. I know how Carmen and Eleazar feel when they are away from each other. I was asking . . ."

"You were asking for both of us to go with you?" I said, and Riley nodded his head. Part of me thought there as something different he wanted to ask, but I could have been reading him wrong. I didn't know Riley well enough to be sure.

"In a way you seem to get me, and you are also Edward's best friend and mate. I really want to know the person who makes my brother happy. I also want to try and make up for the many years we've been apart," Riley said. He appeared completely sincere about this, so maybe I had read him wrong and this was what he meant.

"Edward and I have wanted to see the world for some time now. I think this would be the perfect opportunity," I said.

Riley smiled excitedly at the prospect of traveling the world. "Where would we go?"

"Anywhere we want to go. We could see the Tower of London, the Pyramids, the Pantheon, Yellowstone, the Great Wall of China or anything else our hearts desire. We can see as much or as little as we want," I replied.

"I need to speak with Eleazar again to be sure it is still okay for me to go off on my own for a time. I'm sure he'll say yes, but I feel I should speak with him before hand," Riley said.

"Let Edward and I know when you are ready to go, and we can make plans," I replied.

Everyone was in the same spot where we had left them several hours earlier. After Edward, Emmett and Peter had finished hunting our little outing turned into a huge wrestling match. Riley also joined in the fun, but ended up with a torn shirt and got caked in mud.

"Oh my God! What happened to you?" Carmen said as she rushed over and started fussing over Riley. She reminded me of Esme, or a very over protective mother.

"Emmett . . ." Before Riley could finish speaking his thoughts a loud smack rang out. Emmett was cowering beneath a very angry looking Rosalie.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Rosalie demanded.

"He . . . he . . . tackled me," Emmett stuttered.

'_Damn that boy was seriously afraid of her.'_

Peter started walked backwards toward the door at this point.

"Why did you tackle him?" Carmen asked Riley.

"Peter told me to do it," Riley said, using his best manipulative expression.

"Peter Whitlock, don't you dare try and sneak away," Alice said with a menacing tone.

Five foot nothing Alice stalked over to six foot-two Peter and glared up at him. She reached up and grabbed hold of his right ear and pulled him down so that he was eye level with her.

"Ow . . . Ow . . . Alice . . . Stop . . ." Peter complained.

"You tore your shirt, and you got mud on your pants!" Alice growled at him.

I couldn't help it and burst out laughing. Alice turned her head toward me and appraised me from head to toe, but she didn't find anything out of place and my clothes were impeccably clean. She huffed and turned her attention back to Peter.

Alice's anger was suddenly replaced with excitement and amusement. The change was so quick it felt like whiplash. "Excellent idea Kate," Alice said.

I looked over to Edward for an explanation. "Kate has come up with a way to teach Emmett, and Peter, a lesson about picking on Riley."

Everyone looked at Kate waiting for her to explain her plan. "It's quite simple. One of you will arm wrestle me. If I win, then the two of you will accompany all of us women on our next shopping trip together that Alice is planning. If for some reason I should lose then I'll catch each of you a polar bear."

"Emmett volunteers," Rosalie said with a smirk.

'_Did she know about Kate's gift?'_ I thought.

"Oh, she knows," Edward laughed.

"Rose, sweetheart, Kate's a girl. I can't arm wrestle a girl!" Emmett whined. Rosalie's eyes narrowed at Emmett, and he cringed back.

"Are you afraid of losing, Emmett?" Kate asked.

"No, I just don't want to upset my mother," Emmett said.

I turned toward Esme to see her response. "Carlisle and I are putting five hundred-dollars on Kate." Esme replied.

"There goes that excuse, you pussy!" I challenged with a huge smirk.

"Fine, but Rose and I will be enjoying Paris on your nickel this time next week!" Emmett declared.

"I have a feeling that I'll be driving my new Jaguar next week," I replied with a cocky smirk.

"I want a ride in that Jaguar!" Kate said.

"You just need to beat Emmett, and I'll happily let you take it out for a drive," I agreed.

"No problem. Right this way Emmett," Kate said as he walked out onto the back porch. She continued on until she reached a large tree stump that sat near the end of the forest line. Everyone followed behind Emmett.

Emmett and Kate took their places on each side of the tree stump and Tanya walked over to do the count down and referee.

"Don't hurt him too bad," Tanya said.

Kate looked over to Rosalie. "Kick his butt. I want to see that Jaguar."

"Rose! I can't believe you're not rooting for me!" Emmett complained.

"Sorry, love but a Jaguar is much better then a week in Paris," Rosalie replied.

"Get ready," Tanya said.

Emmett and Kate grasped hands while staring each other down. Edward chose that moment to share a vision that Alice had about this little challenge.

_Kate and Emmett were locked in a close match at the start, but Emmett soon had the edge and he was getting cocky. Kate smirked as her hand neared the flat surface of the stump. She looked over at me before turning back to Emmett. "Enjoy your Jaguar, Jasper."_

I was distracted from the vision as Kate's words echoed those that I'd heard in the vision. The next split second the back of Emmett's hand made contact with the opposite side of the tree stump and he was flat on his back on the ground beside it.

"What the hell was that?" Emmett said when Kate released his hand.

"You got hit by a bolt of lightning. You must have pissed off Zeus," Riley said with a smirk.

Emmett rubbed the back of his head and gave us all an odd expression like he didn't realize he'd been zapped, and everyone burst out laughing. "I guess we'll need a rematch."

Everyone was laughing so hard I was having a hard time keeping myself from falling down and rolling around laughing. If I'd been human, I'd have been crying from the fits of laughter I was feeling. I hung onto Edward to keep from falling, but that only intensified his laughter.

Rosalie who was also laughing walked over to Emmett. "Emmett, honey, I love you, but sometimes you can be so dense. Kate is gifted, that zap was not lightning."

Everyone was calming down, but then Emmett spoke. "Oh, then what was the zap that I felt?"

Another round of hysterical laughter ensued, but this time I slumped back against Edward who held me up. "Emmett, Kate zapped you. Her gift is being able to create the illusion of an electrical field around her body," Edward said.

"Oh... Wait! You cheated!" Emmett declared.

"You didn't specify any rules. All is fair game," Kate stated firmly.

"I want the Jaguar in a deep forest green and the convertible model," I said.

Emmett mumbled something so low that even with my vampire hearing I missed what he said, and then he stalked off to go sulk.

"Is he going to be ok?" Kate asked with worry as she watched Emmett disappear into the forest.

"He'll be fine when he's done sulking. My childish husband hates to lose," Rosalie replied.

"Emmett is very competitive. He'll go sulk, find a bear or two to fight then he'll be fine." Edward added.

Everyone started to drift back toward the house, and back to their previous conversations.


	26. Visions

**Chapter 26: Visions**

Eleazar and Carlisle retreated to the library after all the discussion of gifts had died down. We had several very interesting conversations on the subject, but their current conversation was now dealing with speculation on how gifts worked and what caused them. In other words the discussion was boring to the rest of us.

Most of our family and the Denali clan were gather in the main room with several conversations ongoing again. Alice and Kate were deep into their plans for an elaborate shopping spree in Paris, Rome, Madrid, and New York. Peter and Emmett were hiding their queasy feelings on the subject quite well.

Esme had her sketch pad out and was working on several ideas she had for the plans of our new permanent home in Montana. We had moved so many times over the past decade that it was causing a drain on the family. Edward and I had suggested that we have a place that we can go to should we need to make an emergency middle of the night move again. Carlisle and Esme liked the idea and they purchased a large swath of land in Montana that was heavily forested and mountainous. Our home there would be a permanent place for us to go to should the need arise. We also planned to make this place our sanctuary. It was far off the beaten path, and the nearest settlement was rough twenty miles away.

Edward and I were snuggled up on one of the sofas, and my eyes were closed. It was comfortable to be snuggled with Edward. Our hands were intertwined, and occasionally I could hear someone's thoughts, but Edward was focused on constructing a new musical piece in his mind. I was very intrigued by the musical piece as it flowed in his mind. It brought back memories of slow peaceful flowing water, gentle falling snow, and other happy memories. All the memories triggered were from early in our relationship.

Edward's attention was suddenly diverted and I opened my eyes to see his head turned toward Alice. The next instance I was struck by a vision from Alice's perspective.

_The room was dark, but there were numerous lights that were pulsating and flashing. There were also numerous humans in the room and they appeared to be dancing. Fast paced music with a lot of bass that could be heard pounding out of the speakers._

_Alice's eyes roamed across the room surveying the crowd, but eventually focused on two people dancing in the center of what must have been the dance floor. They were dancing very close, one behind the other. They're bodies were pressed tightly together as if they were trying to be come one person. The person behind was slightly taller, with long wavy hair. The person in front was slightly shorter, but it was difficult at first to make out the features of either person. As the vision became clearer I was able to make out more of what was happening._

_The one behind had one hand on the stomach of the guy in front who was slender. Their bodies moved in rhythm to the music and each other. Neither was looking at Alice, but they seemed to be enjoying themselves from the way they moved. They moved as if they were one person, but with slight differences._

_I began to notice the features more now as the vision cleared further. Both were pale, with sharp features. When the man in front turned his head in Alice's direction I noticed the man behind him kiss him on the cheek, then they kissed on the lips. It was a passionate kiss between lovers. When their kiss ended they both turned and looked at Alice smile brightly. It was then that I noticed who the men were. Their bright golden eyes looked relaxed, yet excited. It was Edward and I dancing amid the room full of humans. Neither seemed bothered by the presence of humans, and we were in a public place and expressing our love freely._

The vision ended.

"Was that a vision?" I asked. I had never experienced this before; it was all new to me.

"It's a vision of a possible future. This one is pretty strong I've seen it numerous times, but never quite so clearly as today" Alice replied.

"What do you mean by seeing it clearly?" Riley asked.

He must have seen the vision as well. He was sitting on the floor in front of Edward.

"When I have a vision the clearer it is, the higher probability it has of occurring. The fuzzier the image is the less likely it is to occur," Alice replied.

"So this vision is likely to occur?" I asked.

"I'd say there is a ninety percent chance that it will happen. I can't tell you when, but it seems to b in the somewhat distance future. Based on the clothes we are wearing I'd say somewhere between forty and fifty years from now, but that's a guess. Fashion changes a lot, but I've had other visions during that time frame and we are wearing similar clothing," Alice answered.

"What was the vision about?" Esme asked.

"Edward and Jasper dancing in public, and kissing," Riley said.

"How close?" Emmett asked.

I was then bombarded by Emmett's improper thoughts about Edward and I "dancing" close together. Riley and I both moved away from Edward at the same time.

"Oh I see how it is. Use me for my gift, but run away when Emmett had dirty thoughts," Edward pouted.

"Emmett, behave," Esme said.

"Sorry, love but I have to deal with his constant lust filled emotions. I don't think I can hand his thoughts too," I replied.

Edward continued to pout. "You're my brother, Edward. I love you, but I don't want to see what Emmett thinks you and Jasper get up too. There are some things that brothers should never share, and that is one of them," Riley said.

"Emmett, leave Edward alone or I will have Kate zap you again," Rosalie said.

"But, Rose, it's fun to tease Eddie." Emmett said in a whiny voice.

"Don't call me Eddie!" Edward growled.

I sat back down with Edward and wrapped my arms around him so he couldn't go rip off Emmett's head. I decide to change the subject quickly.

"Do you have other visions of the future?" I asked.

Alice nodded, but also sighed. "I do, but they aren't always so clear. The future is always in flux and it changes every time we make a decision. Some things seemed destined to happen. It would be like the visions I had of joining the family. That vision seemed destined to happen no matter what decisions were made. The timing may have changed, but it would always happen."

"What other visions have you had?" Riley asked. His curiosity was now in full swing, it reminded me of how Carlisle felt when he was learning something new.

"There haven't been many clear visions in a while. I sometimes try to search the future, but that appears pointless if it's too far ahead in time. Events that are a few days, week or months away are clearer, but add years and they become fuzzy and unreadable," Alice said.

"You're avoiding the question," Emmet said.

Alice sighed. "It's nothing bad; it's just that things seem odd. My most distant visions show us in school, not university. I've visions of Edward working as a doctor again, and along side Carlisle. Those particular visions are the most interesting because it seems that Edward has overcome his bloodlust completely. Even Jasper seems to have mastered his control."

"Me?" I was unable to hide the shock in my voice.

"May be you haven't noticed but you haven't slipped once since Edward converted you to this diet. I'm not saying it's impossible for you to slip, but your control is exceptional. I'd wager that you might just have enough control to one day join the medical field." Alice replied.

"I told you to stop underestimating yourself," Edward said with a smug smile. I just rolled my eyes. There was no point in arguing with him, and part of me did believe I had it in me to keep control.

A wave of amusement hit me from Alice's direction and she was struggling to keep from bursting out giggling.

"What was that?" Edward asked.

"Nothing," Alice said and she burst out laughing and flitted out the door. I had caught only a brief glimpse of the second vision that Alice had just seen. Edward and I were both completely naked and obviously having sex or just finished.

"She has a screw lose," Emmett said.

"You should so not be insulting Alice! Do you have any idea what it's like when she's upset?" Peter sighed.

"You can insult Rose if it makes you feel better," Emmett said. I didn't need to be Alice to see what was coming next, and right on cue Rosalie's hand met the back of Emmett's head. It's a good thing he was a vampire or he'd have serious brain damage with the number of times she's hit him.

"Emmett, there is no way you can be that dense," Riley said.

"Do not underestimate Emmett's ability to say and do stupid things," I said.

"He really can be at times. I swear that his mouth speaks before his brain knows what he's saying," Edward replied while shaking his head..

Riley shook his head and laughed.

"We were planning on visiting Anchorage today for some needed supplies. Would any of you care to join us?" Tanya asked as she entered the room followed by Carmen.

Most everyone agreed to go along, but Emmett, Rosalie, Edward and I all begged off. We claimed we wanted some quiet time. All these innuendos about sex were making me horny and I planned to pound Edward's ass into the first available bed.

Rosalie and Emmett disappeared the moment everyone was out of hearing range. I jumped Edward seconds later. I pinned Edward to the sofa and attacked his lips with passion. Edward pushed against my chest, but also returned the kiss.

"Jazz, what are you doing?" Edward asked when our lips broke apart.

"No talking," I said. I kissed him again passionately then grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hall way to the first open bedroom. I shut the door and pushed Edward down on the bed with little resistance.

(...) **A/N: Due to FFn's Ratings policy this section of the story can be read at TWCS. A link is available in my Author's Profile.** (...)

When our orgasms finally ended I laid my head beside Edward's and closed my eyes. "I love you," I whispered.

"Love you too, Jazz," Edward replied.

We held each other in silence.

Unfortunately, that silence only last a few short minutes.

"What the fuck!" Riley yelled shocked, and annoyed.

I slid out of Edward and flipped around before I realized what I was doing. Riley was standing in the now open door way with a shocked expression on his face. Tanya stood behind him with a smirk on her face, and that's when I heard her thoughts.

"_Damn, they're hung. The things I could do with those big cocks,"_

I quickly snatched the blanket at the end of the bed and covered up mine and Edward's naked bodies.

"What's all the noise out here?" Emmett asked as he opened the door to the room across the hall.

Riley turned to see a naked Emmett behind him and jump back into the room Edward and I were in. Tanya was admiring Emmett's naked body, but thankfully Edward was focused on someone else's mind and I didn't hear her thoughts this time.

"Emmett, put some clothes on!" Rosalie yelled at him.

Emmett disappeared behind the door. It was also at this point I felt the humor coming from down the hall, and light giggling sound. _"Alice!"_ I thought. _"The pixie fortune teller knew this would happen that's what she was hiding!"_

Edward groan, and I turned his see him pinching the bridge of his nose with his eyes closed. Riley mirrored his brother, but thankfully had the mind to kick the door close and grant us some privacy.

After a moment Riley turned to face away from Edward and me. "You two should get dressed." His voice was strained.

Edward and I quickly slipped out from under the blanket and were dressed within seconds.

"Sorry," Edward said softly.

Riley turned and faced us and his expression was livid. "I can't believe you two FUCKED on my bed!"

Riley glared at me when he felt the wave of clam I pushed toward him. He then sighed.

"I'm going to be scarred for life now," Riley said. He was slightly amused, but still horrified at catching us in such a compromising position.

"Oh come on it's not that bad. So you saw your big brother and his lover in a comprising position," Edward replied.

"Must you use the word big?" Riley said. I assumed he was referring more to the comment that Tanya had made with her thoughts.

There was a peel of laughter from down the hall and irate Riley was back. He quickly grabbed the hand of the door and stepped out into the hallway. "I'm coming for you next, pixie!"

The laughter from down the hall stopped instantly and I was hit by a wave of terror, and humor. The humor was from Edward who was trying not to laugh. I looked over at him and he sent me his thoughts.

"_Riley decided to bleach all of Alice's clothes as revenge for her part in allowing this to happen,"_ Edward said.

I bit my tongue so that I wouldn't laugh, and get us into more trouble with Riley. When I turned back to him he was back in the room with the door closed, not like that would stop anyone from hearing the conversation going on in here.

"Riley, I'm sorry. This is my fault. It's been a while since Edward and I had any intimate time and I got carried away. I picked the first room that was open. We didn't think about whose room we were in. I'm Sorry," I said truthfully.

Riley sighed. "I suppose it could have been worse. It could have been Emmett and Rosalie."

"Hey!" Emmett yelled from room across the hall.

"So true, Kate is going to kill him when she learns about the destruction he caused in her room." Edward said.

The door across the hall busted open a half second later. "What the HELL! Emmett!" Kate growled.

"Oh fuck!" Emmett said, quickly followed by a window breaking. Footsteps could be heard chasing after him, and I assumed those belonged to Kate.

"I swear they are all adopted!" Carlisle said from down the hall.

"And stuck in the bodies of hormonal sex crazed teenagers," Tanya declared.

"Says the succubus," Carmen added.

"The original!" Tanya said with a laugh. Her thoughts were still on seeing Edward and I naked, and I tried to block them out.

Riley turned to Edward, "You're replacing my sheets, blankets, and... fuck it the whole bed too. Damn, accursed vampire memory! I'm going to have that memory seeing Jasper's bare ass every time I open this door."

"Hey! What's wrong with my ass?" I replied slightly offended.

"Nothing, you've got a cute ass, but you are my brother's partner and that makes you like an older brother. It's just not something I should see, no matter how cute your ass maybe," Riley replied.

"Oh so you think I have a cute ass? Does this mean that a threesome is possible?" I grinned. "Ow!"

Edward's hand connected with the back of my head. "It was a joke!" I said rubbing the back of my head.

"Sorry, Jazz. I like the ladies," Riley replied, but I could sense his curiosity.

"Hey, don't knock it till you try it. I gave amazing blow jobs," I grinned.

Both Riley and Edward groaned.

"Well damn there goes that fantasy," I said with mock disappointment.

"Shouldn't that fantasy be with identical twins, not fraternal twins?" Peter called out.

"No one asked your opinion!" I called back. _"Yes, the fantasy is supposed to be with identical twins, but it seriously was meant to be a joke._"

"What are you all doing back so soon anyway?" Edward asked.

"We got half way to Anchorage before Alice told us it would be sunny. I also wanted to share the good news. It seems the pixie fortune teller had ulterior motives in telling us so late," Riley replied.

"What's your good news?" I asked.

"Eleazar and I talked while on our failed trip to Anchorage about what we discussed on the hunting trip. He said if I want to go out on my own it's my decision. I told him about your offer, and he thought it would be a great way to reconnect with Edward. He also said that he thought I'd be very safe with the two of you, but I think he believes we'll work on our new abilities," Riley said.

"What offer?" Edward asked turning his head toward me.

"While we were out hunting I had a talk with Riley. I expressed our interest in seeing the world. He told me about wanting to go off on his own and see the world as well. He also said he didn't want to do it alone and I offered to let him join us. We've talked about it several times, but we've yet to actually plan anything or go anywhere," I replied.

"Is that ok?" Riley asked. There was a slight worry that he was now intruding on private time between Edward and I.

"Yes!" Edward said excitedly. "You're ok with this right?"

"I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't. Beside like Riley said he's family. There's also the added benefit that he'll get to see my cute ass a whole lot more while traveling," I smirked.

"Fuck you, Jasper," Riley replied, trying not to laugh.

"Can we make a Jasper sandwich? You fuck me and I'll fuck Edward," I replied with grin.

Riley groaned and banged his head against the door. "Fucking vampire memory! Ugh!"

"Welcome to the family!" Emmett called out. He was obviously back from running away from Kate.

"Emmett, you're going to fix what you broke!" Esme said, followed by a loud slap.

"Damn it! Why does everyone hit me?" Emmett complained.

"Do you really want us to answer that question?" Alice asked.

There was a gasp and a thud. I got hit by a wave of shock from Emmett. I guess Kate must have caught up to him and zapped him good.

We ignored the rest of the conversation going on in the main room. "We can use the library to plan the trip, and there will be no fucking on this trip. At least not where I'm involved," Riley said.

"What a disappointment," I said with an amused grin. "You know I'm only teasing Riley. I truly only have eyes for your brother."

"I know, and I will get you back... eventually," Riley smirked before leading us to the Library.

The library was a small room, but filled to capacity with books, maps, paintings and numerous other historical items. Edward and I sat down at a small round work table while Riley retrieved several maps from a much cluttered desk on the far wall.

"I got these a few months ago when I was really considering seeing the world. I marked up a few places I'd really like to go visit," Riley said as he returned with the maps.

I unfolded the top map while Edward picked up the next one in the small pile. The map I had picked up was one of Europe. Riley had circled the names of several major cities including: London, Paris, Madrid, Amsterdam, Copenhagen, Rome, Bern, Berlin, Athens, and Prague. He also had various notes of popular landmarks and some not so popular places to visit. His statement of marking up a few places was a bit of an understatement. He had done a lot of planning for his travels.

The map Edward had picked up was of North America. He put it aside after see which continent it covered, and picked up a world map.

"Is there a problem with that map?" Riley asked.

"No. I've just seen most of North America already," Edward replied indifferently, but I knew better.

"Oh, I thought the two of you hadn't traveled anywhere?" Riley remarked.

"We've seen most of it separately," Edward replied, and then sighed. "There was a time when I went off on my own, before I met Jasper. You could say I made a bad decision, but the end results were worth going off on my own. However, it doesn't justify or make up for the evil I did while on my own, but I wouldn't change that outcome for anything," Edward replied.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I follow," Riley said with confusion.

Edward stood up and he walked over to the large window over looking the river below.

"Did I say something wrong?" Riley asked as he looked between Edward and me. I shook my head, and waited for Edward to speak.

"Our most prominent traits get enhanced in this life, but that doesn't mean they are all good traits. I've always had a problem with my temper, and I let my arrogance get the best of me at times. I try to keep them in better check now. Jazz, helps a lot with that, and not just because of his gift. His very presence is soothing to me." Edward said.

I could tell that Riley was still confused, but waited patiently as Edward continued.

"Nearly a decade after Carlisle changed me I had a bout of _'teenage'_ rebelliousness. I claimed that I was angry with him for curbing my appetite, but that was just an excuse. The truth was that I couldn't stand not sedating the thirty I felt constantly."

"You went off to feed on humans? Why?" Riley asked. Riley wasn't exactly judging Edward, but I could tell he felted disappointed. I walked over to Edward wrapping my arms around my love. Edward leaned back into me and I supported him both emotionally and physically.

"I encountered a mind that had memories of a past love that treated them poorly," Edward paused.

I knew who he was talking about instantly. Edward wasn't one to share the stories of other people, and I knew he wasn't about to do that now. He continued, "No, poorly is not a strong enough word for how they treated this wonderful person. They physically harmed this person repeatedly and everyone, including this person's own family turned a blind eye to it. I saw the injustice and thought it was wrong. No one should be treated in this way."

I sent Edward my love, and radiated the love that our family had for him. He found his voice again and continued. "I allowed my arrogance to get the better of me. I reasoned that if I followed a murder or rapist down a dark alley and saved the girl he planned to harm that I wasn't so much of a monster."

"A noble intention, but did you not think you'd feel guilt for taking those lives?" Riley asked.

"At the time no, but again my arrogance was strong. I argued with Carlisle repeatedly that I could use my gift to hunt the guilty and pass over the innocent. He had an argument for every one of mine, and his made prefect sense. I could see that he was right, but I was determined. _'Each life is precious and must be protected, regardless of their actions,' _he had said. I let my arrogance and temper overwhelm me and I said something I never should have said. The hurt I caused was instantly evident upon his face, and I was too much of a coward to apologize. Instead I left, even thought Esme tried to stop me."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked," Riley said as he realized how difficult this was for Edward. I'm sure he could see Edward's memories of those events as clearly as I could through our newly linked minds.

Edward shook his head. "No, it's behind me now. The memories are not pleasant, but it's important for you to know that I'm not perfect. I know that you look up to me and that you are impressed by my degree of control, but I've made mistakes."

Edward slipped out of my arms and turned to face me giving me a sincere smile. No words were needed to express his thanks for my support.

"Carlisle was right, each life is precious. In my arrogance I thought I'd be free of guilt by taking the lives of those who were lesser monsters then I; murders, rapist, lesser killers of men. At first I tried to ignore how I felt after each kill, but it soon consumed me. Some of my victims only cursed me in their minds as I took their life, but most thought of their family, their wives, parents, and sometimes their children."

Edward paused for a long while and I moved behind him again as he faced Riley and held him in my arms again. He finally looked up at Riley. "I was in Chicago, in one of my endless debates with myself about going back to Carlisle and begging for his forgiveness. It had been about two weeks since I had last feed, and my mind was unable to focus. I got confused, and made a stupid decision that could have very easily cost me my life."

I couldn't help but chuckle at the image of Edward tackling me in the dark alley. Riley looked at me like I was crazy. "This idiot tackled me in a dark alley thinking I was human, and his next meal."

Riley looked at Edward. "He's joking right? I mean you know that humans have a heart beat, body heat, blood in their veins?"

"Nope, not joking, he's just lucky that I was more accustomed to going without feeding for such long periods of time. I was able to stay focused and not rip his head off, which I'm very happy I didn't do." I replied.

"Jazz, convinced me that night to go back to Carlisle. He said that I would be a fool for not going back and asking for forgiveness. He was right, and I would have been had I not gone back. Carlisle and Esme welcome me back like the prodigal son. They accepted Jasper into the family, and our relationship," Edward replied.

I placed my chin on his left shoulder. "Carlisle and Esme were very happy to have Edward back. I'm sure that our golden eyes helped re-enforce that we were committed to this life. It hasn't been easy, but it has been worth it," I said.

"During my time away I saw most of the northern half of the continent. If we are going to travel then I think it would be best if we choose places none of us have been to, yet. We can see this continent toward the end of our travels," Edward added.

"That sounds fair," Riley replied. He paused and looked back towards the table then turned his head back to Edward. "Edward, thank you for sharing your story; I know that wasn't easy for you. I still look up to you even thought you made mistakes. You learned from them and that speaks volumes about you as a person."

"Thanks, Riley that means a lot to me," Edward smiled then added, "I did get Jasper in the end, so leaving allowed me to find my soul mate. Now I'm trying to atone for my sins, by helping others. I've worked as doctor, where blood is not involved, and I've also got Mom and Dad's foundation I started. I also help Jasper with a foundation the family started in honor of his sister. I can't give back the lives I took, but I can try and save some that could be lost otherwise," Edward replied.

"Riley makes an excellent point," Carlisle said from the entrance to the room.

Everyone turned to look at him. "In the end you learned through your own mistakes that life is precious, and needs to be protected. You also learned that the love of family holds no bounds, and that you will always find forgiveness from those that love you."

"Thank you," Edward replied.

"If I may impose upon the three of you, Esme and I have discussed visiting London. I've wanted to show her where I grew up, and the sights of the city. If you wouldn't mind the intrusion we would accompany you to London, but leave you after that to journey on your own," Carlisle said.

"I'd like to see where you grew as well. Perhaps we might find some old landmarks from your time," Edward said.

"I've never been to London, and a tour guide sounds like a good idea," Riley grinned.

"Well then I believe that settles it," I said.

"Thank you. I know your mother will be pleased," Carlisle said, then left.

"So we should start with Europe," Riley suggested.

We agreed to start with Europe and began laying out our itinerary for the new few months or so. We decide not to set specific time frames and just go with the flow of things. We'd move onto other places after we'd all seen everything we wanted.

Alice popped in to give us a list of dates that would be acceptable for us to go out during the day time. She was obviously trying to win us back, but we were purposefully making it difficult for her. I didn't really mind Riley seeing me naked. I'm not ashamed of how I look, but I don't exactly like showing off the scars.

"Alright Alice! We get it you're sorry," Edward said after having spent the last twenty minutes with Alice making suggestions on how to make our travels better.

"Does that mean I'm forgiven?" Alice asked with hope.

"No," Riley replied.

Alice pouted, "What if I share a couple of visions I've been keeping secret about your futures?"

I immediately perked up, but I wasn't going to give in that easily. Alice could just show us something generic to get our forgiveness, but if it were something worthwhile then I could be inclined to forgive her.

"Only if the visions are worthy of our forgiveness," Edward replied.

"I think these two meet the criteria." Alice said.

_The first vision was of Riley. He was sitting on the steps of a flight of stairs holding who I assumed was his mate, but the image was fuzzy. We could see Riley clearly, but not his mate. I was almost certain his mate was female, but again it was fuzzy._

_What was clear was the smile on Riley's face and the love that shown brightly in his eyes. It made his face appear all lit up. I could almost feel the emotions he must be feeling in the vision…_

The vision was fuzzier then the previous vision I had seen earlier in the day, but it was still very interesting. I'm not sure if it was deserving of my forgiveness.

"I haven't shown the two of you this particular vision I'm about to let you see. Partly because I think that its contents should be experienced first hand, but I know you'll forgive me if I show you." Alice said.

_It was a bright sunny day, but the sun was nearing the western horizon as it appeared low in the sky. The shadows were lengthening and twilight was nearing. The vision was from Alice's perspective and she was looking toward a small area that was beautifully decorated with flowers, and with white, blue, green and gold fabrics._

_Her attention was drawn to Carlisle who stood beneath an arch of flowers in blues, whites and greens. He wore an elegant black tux with a gold vest beneath the jacket. In his hands he held a small black book that was clasped before him._

_On Carlisle's right stood Riley dressed in a black tux with a dark emerald green vest beneath the jacket and a green bow tie. There were also green seams running down the sides of his pants._

_On Carlisle's left stood Peter dressed in a black tux that was similar to Riley's but with blue accents instead of green._

_I could hear music playing and it sounded like a wedding march, but I wasn't sure. There were numerous embellishments throughout the piece. I could see it was Rosalie at the piano playing, which surprised me._

_Alice turned away from Carlisle and I could see a little over a dozen white folding chairs filled with people that we knew, and some that we didn't know. They were all vampires, and most had gold eyes but a few had red eyes._

_Her eyes focused on Esme who stood at the back of the small decorated area. She was beautifully dressed in a silver evening gown with blue accents. Her jewelry was unique in that it consisted of brilliant green emeralds surrounded by deep blue sapphires._

_Alice turned her attention to the right side of the area and I saw Edward enter the vision. He looked slightly nervous, but exceptionally happy. He was dressed like Riley, but instead of black he wore white._

_I thought my heart my start beating again as I realized what Alice was showing us. It was confirmed when her eyes shifted to the left side of the area and I stood in a matching tux to Peters, but it was also white like Edward's tux._

_Edward and I both walked toward Esme who we each greeted with a kiss on the cheek and then extended our arms to escort her, although I had the inclination that she was escorting us down the aisle._

_We walked down the center aisle as our friends and family looked on. When we reached the end of the aisle Esme took each of our hands and placed them together palm to palm. she then left our side to take her seat._

The vision ended. I was speechless for several minutes as I slowly processed what I'd seen. Alice had shared with all of us a vision of mine and Edward's wedding day. Edward and I had exchanged rings many years ago in a symbol of our commitment to each other, but neither of us ever had considered marriage. It wasn't something that would be acceptable to society.

"I'm forgiven!" Alice said excitedly as she ran off.

Edward and I stared at each other for several long minutes after she left. "Have you..." Edward began.

"I hadn't thought of it. I would marry you in a heart beat, but I never thought it would be possible," I replied to his unspoken question.

Edward nodded, "Me too," There was a pause before he added, "I wasn't expecting that vision."

"Neither was I. I'm happy she showed us, but I'm not sure how to proceed," I said.

Edward stepped toward me and took both of my hands. We both looked at the rings upon our fingers, and then into each other's eyes.

"This isn't a proposal, but a request. Promise me that when it becomes possible for us that you will do me the honor of being my husband and life partner," Edward said. His eyes were smoldering, but cautious.

"I promised before privately to be by your side for eternity. I will do it again before all our family and friends. I will always love you and want to be by your side, Edward," I replied.

Our lips met in a passionate kiss as we embraced. Neither of us wanted to part, but Riley coughed after a few minutes reminding us that he was in the room. We kissed just a bit longer to spit him. We finally parted and I turned to Riley while still holding Edward in my arms.

"Are you sure you don't want to consider switching sides. I'm a very talented kisser," I grinned.

Riley groaned, "I think I'll pass, Jazz."

Edward smacked me lightly on the ass and I turned my face toward him. "Only I get to kiss you." Edward said.

"Didn't your mother teach you to share?" I replied grinning.

"I was very selfish as a kid; it got enhanced when I became a vampire," Edward laughed. I rolled my eyes and gave him a quick peck on the lips.


	27. London

**Chapter 27: London**

I stood in the doorway of the airplane gazing out over the grey gloom and haze that hung over the city of London. I looked down and grasped the hand rail of the stairs and descended to the pavement below.

Carlisle was standing in the doorway when I looked back. "Some things never change," He said.

"What things never change?" Esme asked as she and Carlisle descended.

"The weather was always grey and hazy. It seemed to rain more often then not here," Carlisle answered.

"Perfect place for our kind," Riley said as he appeared at my side. Edward descended the stairs a moment later while giving Riley a crossed expression. His emotions matched his facial expression.

"Sorry," Riley said. "I forgot, I'm not use to this whole pretending to be a human thing," His voice was low so only we could hear him, but there were no humans around to hear him anyway. The pilots were still in the cockpit, and the flight had been a private charter.

"Pay better attention. You can't screw up here," Edward said. Riley merely nodded, knowing better then to argue with Edward.

"We need to retrieve our hired vehicles and check in at the hotel," Carlisle said. Esme grasped his hand then they walked toward the terminal building. The rest of us followed shortly after without a word spoken between us.

We stopped at the _Godfrey Davis_ Company to pick up our hired vehicles, and then headed to our hotel. We checked in at the hotel where we had reserved two suites. Edward, Riley and I would share one and Carlisle and Esme would have the other. Riley's only stipulation to sharing with us was that we keep down the noise when we were being intimate, or at least let him know so he could go off while we had our fun.

"We'll meet in the lobby in five minutes," Carlisle said as he unlocked the door to his and Esme's suite. I nodded and then headed into our suite.

The room was large and nicely decorated. There were two bedrooms one on either side of a large room that served as a parlor. There was plenty of seating, a desk, and other amenities that were useful. Edward and I took the room closest to Carlisle and Esme's suite.

We all quickly changed then headed to meet Carlisle and Esme in the lobby. We had already discussed our plans on the flight over and our first stop was going to be _The National Gallery_.

We headed over to Trafalgar Square, which is in the heart of London and home to _The National Gallery._ The square was named in honor of the Battle of Trafalgar in which Admiral Horatio Nelson defended the French and Spanish fleet without losing a single British ship. The French and Spanish Fleet lost thirty-three ships of the line.

Trafalgar Square is also home to Nelson's Column, which was built to commemorate the death of Nelson at the Battle of Trafalgar. Nelson was mortally wounded by a French sharpshooter and died toward the end of the Battle. His body was brought home to England and he was given a state funeral.

Riley took a few photos of Edward and me at the base of the column before we headed into the gallery. I had purchased a new 35mm camera and lots of film to take pictures on our trip. I planned to create a few photo albums of the places we visited. I wanted something that I could pick up in few years or decades or maybe even a few centuries from now and look back upon.

My memory of this day and the many others to come during our travels would always be with me, and I would be able to recall them with perfect clarity. However, I wanted something tangible that I could hold in my hands and look at when I wanted to recall our travels. There would never be another first time to see these places, and attractions.

Carlisle purchased our tickets and we began our visit of the gallery. The National Gallery is home to paintings from the mid-thirteen century to the present. It contains works by well know and lesser known artists.

We walked around with no clear goal, except to see as many of the paintings as possible in the few hours we had before the museum closed for the day. Carlisle and Esme went off on their own, which left Edward, Riley and me to explore together.

We eventually came to a painting entitled _A Landscape with the Judgment of Paris._ Riley and I had a discussion on this piece when I stated that it was one of my favorites out of the paints we had seen up to this point.

"Why do you like this painting?" Riley asked.

"I like it because of the image it represents." I replied, and then turned my head toward Riley. "Paris is asked to pick who is the most beautiful from among three of the goddess. Hera, Athena or Aphrodite to the Greeks, the Romans knew them as Juno, Minerva and Venus. Paris has an impossible task, and yet he must choose only one."

I paused and turned back to the painting while also gesturing toward it. "No matter who he picks there will be two goddesses who will be upset that he did not pick them. Each of the goddesses is determined to win his favor and attempt to bribe him. Hera offers to make him King of Europe and Asia. Athena offers him wisdom and skill in battle. Aphrodite offers him the love of the most beautiful women in the world, Helen of Sparta."

"I thought it was Helen of Troy?" Riley said. I just answered his question by smile at him. "He picked Aphrodite?"

"Yes, he did, much to Hera's dislike. Hera was actually the more beautiful of the goddess, but she did not appeal to Paris the why Aphrodite did. Aphrodite manipulated him through lust to get her way. The Greeks weren't too happy about it either, and it led to the Trojan War. Helen was the wife of the Greek King Menelaus. His choice also leads to Athena joining the Greeks against the Trojans during the war. In the end Paris lost his life, and his city was mostly wiped out by the Greeks," I added.

"The point of the painting is to remind people to make sound judgments." Riley stated.

"No, the point of the story is to make sound judgments. The point of the painting is to show three very beautiful women with as little clothing as possible," I replied with a smile and walked off leaving Riley confused.

Edward chuckled quietly behind me as he followed me onto the next exhibit. It took Riley a few moments to catch up with us.

"If the point of the painting was to show three beautiful women naked, then why did you go into that story about Paris?" Riley asked.

"I'm a history buff, Riley. It was a great opportunity to share a piece of history that teaches a valuable lesson, and give myself a bit of amusement," I grinned.

Riley rolled his eyes at me. "You're a jerk, Jasper."

We met up with Carlisle and Esme toward the end of our visit at the painting of _Venus and Mars._ This was my favorite painting out of all the ones I had seen. I liked the message that this one was representing more then the _Judgment of Paris_ painting.

"What is the meaning of this painting?" Edward asked.

"You first have to understand who Venus and Mars are in the mythological world. Mars is the Roman God of War and Venus the Goddess of Love. Here you see Mars asleep and unarmed, while Venus is awake and alert. The meaning is that love conquers all, or at least love conquers war. My preference is that love conquers all," I answered.

"Do you truly believe that love conquers all?" Edward asked with a curious expression.

"I do. Love is the most powerful emotion that I have ever felt. Love has the power to influence so many other emotions. Love can make you happy, sad or angry. I know that it's not actually love that triggers the happy, sad or angry emotions, but the person with whom you are in love with that triggers those emotions. However, love is at the root of the relationship and thus has an influence over the other emotions. Love is truly a powerful force that if you allow yourself to be swept away by it, it will change you. Once you have experienced love, you will put assigned any grievances you have so that you can feel that emotion again," I replied.

"But weren't there also wars fought in the name of love?" Riley questioned.

"You could say that the Trojan War was fought over the love of Helen. I personally do not believe it was fought for love, or that any war that claims it is fought over love to be so. Wars are fought for power and greed, not for love," I replied.

I turned and looked once more at the painting, and committed it to memory. I left the others behind and headed for the exit. As I stepped outside the sky was dark and it appeared as if a storm was moving into the area. Edward joined me under the portico as I watched the storm roll in.

"You really believe that love conquers all?" he asked.

I continued to stare off into the horizon at the brewing storm. I turned my head to the right to look at him before I spoke. "Yes, I do. Before we met, my life was much like this storm; full of turmoil and threatening to unleash its fury upon those around," I began.

I had been desperate to end my suffering, and filled with some much hate for the fate that had been dealt me. I knew now that looking back at that time in my life I was on a destructive path that could never lead to a peaceful resolution.

"You changed me in ways you may never full know. You've seen my memories, and the things that I've done. You know what I felt and where my life was potentially heading during that dark time." I added, and then looked back to the horizon as the storm began to unleash its downpour.

"You gave me a second change and I seized it with both hands and refused to let go. Because of you got the life I could only hope to dream about. I reunited with my sister, completed two university degrees and gained a loving family," I continued.

"I never would have known what it felt like to love someone, and be loved by someone unconditionally. You've never once judged for my past sins, and you don't hold anything against me," I turned back to Edward and smiled.

"I suppose you're right then," Edward replied with a smile.

"I know I'm right. I'm an empath," I grinned.

Edward's smile turned into a grin and he shook his head at me, but leaned in toward me and whispered into my ear. "That cocky attitude of yours is another reason I love you."

I couldn't help by grin widely.

"What are you two fools grinning about?" Riley asked, but quickly changed his mind. "Wait never mind, I don't think I want to know."

I kept grinning and sent a wave of lust toward Riley and watched his eyes darken slightly. A low oath escaped his lips, and he tried to glare at me but I just manipulated his emotions again. He was now feeling happy.

"Jasper! No fair with the emotions thing!" Riley said.

I laughed as I opened my umbrella and headed out into the rain. Edward quickly joined me so he could share my umbrella. "I'll get you back, Jasper!" Riley promised.

Carlisle and Esme joined us and Esme was smiling while saying "_boys_", as if that explained our behavior; and maybe it did. _'Hmm . . . Maybe I'll have to pursue a Psychology degree next.'_

"Where are we heading to next?" asked Riley.

"I'd like to visit a small park in the city," Carlisle replied.

We walked through the pouring rain and managed to stay mostly dry under our umbrellas. It was a short walk from the square to the little park that Carlisle set as our destination. It had taken some work but I had managed to dig up old maps and information about London during a visit to the _Library of Congress_.

I had made the trip with Edward a few months ago and spend several hours digging through all the information they had on London. It was by luck that I had found the information. During the mid 1660s a fire ravaged through the city of London and destroyed a large portion of the city. The fire had also destroyed the church where Carlisle's father preached.

There were two reasons for my research. First was to help Carlisle find out where his human home had been, and that wasn't as easy as one would think. Carlisle's human memories were just as faded as my own. It had taken Edward several days of painstakingly weeding through Carlisle's memories to find the useful ones.

The second reason was to see if I could find anything that may have survived from that time period, and may have belonged to Carlisle or his father. That search was a bit easier with the help of Mr. Stewart in New York. He had managed to track down through his sources two items that did in fact belong to Carlisle's father. It had taken a great deal of research to verify the claim that the items did belong to Carlisle's father, but the story proved true.

The park was small, but it had a certain feel about it that made it welcoming. We entered, but allowed Carlisle and Esme to lead the way.

The park consisted of two very large Oak trees and several smaller Ash trees. There was a stone path that circles the park and a few benches near various flower beds. In the center was a small fountain that seemed neglected. One of the Oak trees looked very old, but it was also showing signs of disease.

"What is this place?" Riley asked.

Carlisle turned to face him, but pointed to the diseased Oak tree behind Riley. "That tree stood in front of the vicarage where my father preached. During my human life a small church stood on this very spot, and I remember that tree as clearly as my human memories allow."

Esme walked over to the tree and I could feel her disappointment as she examined it. Esme was quite the gardener and had taught herself a great deal about plants, trees and flowers. Her emotions changed slightly when she spotted and picked one of a few acorns that still hung upon the tree.

"Yes, this will do nicely," Esme said. I could see through Edward's thoughts what Esme planned to do with the acorn. It would take many years to mature, but in a few decades there would be a beautiful oak tree at our permanent home in Montana.

Carlisle walked over to Esme and wrapped his arm around her. "Thank you. It'll be nice to have a small link to my human life."

We left the park and returned to our hotel. I stopped by the front desk to check if my package had been delivered.

"May I help you, sir?" asked the front desk attendant.

"Yes, I'm Jasper Cullen in room 620. I was expecting a package to be delivered to my room. Do you know if it has arrived?" I replied.

The attendant quickly checked the messages before answering my question. "Yes, Mr. Cullen. Your package was delivered an hour ago, and it is in your room."

"Thank you," I said, and rejoined the family at the lift.

"What did you have delivered?" Riley asked.

"You'll see. Carlisle and Esme could the two of you join us in our room, please?" I asked.

"Of course, Jasper," Esme replied. Both Esme and Carlisle were curious about the package and why I was asking them to join us in our room.

Edward unlocked the door and we walked into our room. The package I had requested to be delivered sat on the table.

"What's in the box?" Riley asked.

"A gift to Carlisle from Edward and me."

I moved to the side as Carlisle finished removing Esme's coat. He gave both Edward and me a perplexed expression before stepping toward the package. Esme took her coat from him, and then he turned to Edward and I.

"What do I have the feeling that the gift in that box is something significant?" Carlisle asked. He was watching Edward and me closely to see what our reaction.

"What gives you the impression that it is something significant?" Edward asked.

Carlisle gave us both the _stop deflecting my question_ expression. "We've been in London less than a day, and the two of you have been within my sight or hearing the entire time. I know based on that information that neither of you, or Riley for that matter were out buying this gift. So that leads me to believe it was something that you two planned before we arrived here."

I turned my head toward Edward and grinned. "You know for an old guy he's pretty smart."

Edward grinned, but bit his lip to keep from saying anything. This only made Carlisle sigh and turn to look at the box. He studied the box as he approached it to see if he could learn of its contents from the packaging, but didn't have much luck.

"It seems I will need to open the box to get the answer to my question," Carlisle said rhetorically.

Carlisle carefully lifted the cover off the box and set it aside. His breath caught when his eyes turned back toward the box and saw the contents within.

"This is impossible," It was said barely above a whisper. His shock was plainly evident to everyone in the room. No empath was needed to see the emotions written across his face.

"What is it?" Esme said as she and Riley flitted to Carlisle's side and gazed at the contents.

"A cross?" Riley said as he turned his head to Edward and me, but when Edward and I didn't answer he turned back to the box.

"How . . . How did you find this?" Carlisle finally spoke after having been silent for several minutes.

"Luck more then anything else. Trying to find anything remaining from the sixteen-hundreds isn't an easy task by any stretch of the imagination. Mr. Stewart in New York, the man who helped me find Edward's Christmas gift a few years ago, has a lot of contacts in Europe. He was able to track down several items from religious leader dating back to the mid-sixteen hundreds," I replied.

"This was the only piece that was associated with a Cullen. We figured there weren't too many Vicars named Cullen during that time," Edward added.

Carlisle then addressed both Esme and Riley's questions. "This cross was hand carved by my Father the a few days before I was born. It hung above the pulpit in the Vicarage where he preached. It was one thing that I remember clearly, because I saw it every day."

Carlisle turned away from the gift and walked over to Edward and me. He pulled us both into a tight group hug. "Thank you," He said as he hugged us, "You boys are the best sons a father could ever ask for."

We hugged him back tightly. "You're welcome dad," We replied.

"How did you know it belonged to your father?" Riley asked after Carlisle released us from our group hug.

"Before I left for France, I visited my father's church one last time. I remember the cross clearly because I knew he had craved it," Carlisle turned his eyes toward the cross.

_It was a dark stormy night when I visited the vicarage. I wear a dark hooded cloak to hide my face. I did not want anyone who might recognize me to see me. I slipped into the church when no one was about and waited a moment before I approached this cross._

_I had come to pray and say goodbye to a place that had been my home for most of my life up to that point. I gazed upon the cross as I prayed. Part of my mind was aware through the fading human memories that it had been carved by my father._

"I remember it clearly because I committed it to memory. I know this is the same cross because of these distinct blemishes," Carlisle said as he pointed out several unique knots in the wood and tool marks.

I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Riley ran a finger over the cross that hung from a silver chain around his neck. The cross was a small silver piece that belonged to Elizabeth Masen. The cross had been a gift from Riley to his mom for her last birthday.

Edward told me that Riley has saved his allowance for nearly six months to purchase the gift, and it was very dear to Elizabeth. She wore it constantly, especially after Riley disappeared. I knew Edward had worn it for many years after her passing. I had never asked the significance of it until we had visited the Masen home in Chicago a couple of months ago.

"_Are you sure you want to do this Riley?" Edward asked as we stood outside the back door to their childhood home. Riley nodded his head yes, but his emotions were conflicted and expressed his worry._

_I noticed many differences in the house from the last time I was here nearly two decades ago. The white sheets that had covered most of the furniture were gone, and the whole house had been dusted and cleaned. Edward had hired a housekeeper and a groundskeeper a few years after we met. They came once a week to tend to the house, sometimes more often when repairs were needed._

_We walked through the house slowly as Riley and Edward pointed out various items and talked about memories that were faded. There were many moments of laughter, especially when Riley and Edward shared a memory of returning home covered in mud._

"_It was Riley's fault. He slipped on a patch of mud near the baseball field. I was trying to help him up and to make things worse we were on an embankment. Riley was trying to pull himself up using my hand, and pulled me down with him. We rolled down the embankment and were covered from head to toe in mud," Edward laughed._

"_No way! You slipped on the same patch of mud as I did," Riley countered. "Mom tried to be angry with us, but the sight of the two of us covered in mud was a little too funny."_

"_She couldn't keep a straight face as she tried to punish us. She eventually gave up and said our father would deal with us later," Edward added._

"_Dad never said anything, but I remember him smirking that night at the dinner table as we sat down to eat," Riley finished._

_Our journey through Riley and Edward's childhood memories continued as we moved from room to room. The visit to their home had gone better then I had expected to this point. Neither of the boys had broken down, but there was still one room to go._

_Edward and I were in his room. "Thank you for coming with us," Edward said._

"_You know I'd follow you to the ends of the Earth," I replied. We kissed briefly and were about to join Riley and see the final room when we hear a small thud. Before we could go investigate the noise, I was hit by a massive wave of pain, depression and loss._

_I was gripped Edward's right arm for support as I suddenly gasped and nearly fell to my knees._

"_Jasper!" Edward said in alarm._

'_Riley,' I said in my thoughts. Edward looked into my eyes to see if I was ok. "Go!" I added. I let go of Edward's arm and he flitted out of the room and down the hall._

_I balled my hands into fists and closed my eyes as I tried to gain control of my own emotions before they crushed me. I fixed a memory of Carlisle's calm presence in my mind and focused on it to bring my emotions completely under my control._

_When I had control, I headed down the hall and found Edward and Riley on the floor of their parent's bedroom. Edward was on his knees behind Riley who was laying back against his chest; Edward had his arms wrapped around Riley._

_Riley was sobbing uncontrollably as he held a picture of their parents in their hands. His emotions were a mess, and I pulled back from them instantly. Edward's own emotions were teetering on the edge._

_Edward looked back at me and his eyes pleading with me to stay, but also telling me I didn't need to torture myself by staying. I took one final deep breath and entered the room filling it with a calm wave that would take the edge off their emotions, but not replace them._

Edward had given the cross, and chain, to Riley later that day. He's worn it every day since.

"We are leaving to clean up and change clothes for our date this evening," Esme said as she and Carlisle headed to the door. They were going to the theatre to see a show.

"Have a good time tonight," I replied.

"Thank you and you boys behave yourselves," Esme said with a smile.

After Carlisle and Esme left, we settled down for the night. Edward and I cuddled up on one of the sofas while Riley sat on the other with a book. Tomorrow we would continue our sightseeing of London.


	28. Epilogue: Journey's End

**A/N: **The second story in this series is called Change: Journey of Acceptance. You can find a link to it in my Author's Profile. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story and to all my readers!

**Epilogue: Journey's End**

It has been more then forty years since I met Edward that faithful night in Chicago. He's been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm certain if it had not been for Edward I probably would have found a way to end my existence. A couple of weeks ago we celebrated our forty-second anniversary of the day we met. I view that day as not only a special day for Edward and me, but also as the day that I started _living_ my life.

Today we are out celebrating the coming of the New Year with the whole family, including the Denali Clan in New York. We were sitting on the roof of One Astor Tower, one of the buildings in the Time Square district. We have a great view of the throngs of people celebrating the New Year, and the building where the ball would drop in a few short hours.

The girls were all, sitting on a few makeshift benches, wrapped up in warm blankets. They were trying to look human in case anyone noticed them, not that anyone else was even close to where we were sitting. I seriously doubt that any humans would be able to see us up here on the roof of a skyscraper.

The _adults_, Carlisle, Esme, Eleazar and Carmen were sitting off to the side. Edward and I were sitting a bit higher up from the girls on some scaffolding that had been left behind after the construction of the building. We had a slightly better view from our vantage point.

Emmett, Riley and Peter just stepped onto the roof from the access door. They were each carrying a backpack, and laughing. "This is going to be so awesome," Emmett said.

'_Famous last words,'_ I thought which caused Edward to laugh. I'd lost track of how many times I'd heard Emmett say those exact same words. Okay, I really hadn't lost track but it's a lot. I shook my head and noticed Esme giving Emmett a weary look.

"Emmett, what are you doing?" Rosalie asked.

"Nothing, Rosie."

Rosalie gave Emmett the '_I don't believe_ _you' _expression. "Don't come crying to me when you get yourself hurt," Rosalie replied.

The boys went off and sat on the left side of the girls, which turned out to be further away from the _adults._ This seemed to be strategically planned to keep distance from the _enforcers. _They were still laughing as they started pulling bottles out of their backpack, which is when I heard Edward groaned.

'_What?' _I asked mentally.

'_You'll see,'_ Edward replied back, also mentally.

I turned my attention back to the boys to see that they had brought over a dozen bottles of alcohol, including 190-proof _Everclear_. I just shook my head and rolled my eyes. The Everclear they had brought was ninety-five point four percent alcohol. It is also illegally to sell in certain states, of which New York is one of them. I could only assume they had smuggled it.

'_You know that those two have corrupted your brother,'_ I said mentally to Edward.

'_I know. He uses to be such a good boy too,.' _Edward replied with a sarcastic tone to his thoughts.

"Emmett, you do know that it's not possible for vampires to get drunk?" I asked.

"Do you boys have alcohol?" Esme asked.

"Thanks, Jasper!" Peter whined.

"It's a celebration. We're just having fun," Emmett said.

"If you boys get sick, don't come crying to me," Esme said.

'_Esme does know they can't get drunk, right?' _I asked Edward.

'_Yes, she knows,.' _Edward replied. _'Did Carlisle ever tell you about his one and only experience with moonshine?'_

'_No,' _I replied.

"Carlisle, do you mind if I tell Jasper the story about your moonshine patient," Edward asked.

Carlisle laughed, "Go ahead."

Edward turned back to me and we began a silent mental conversation.

'_Carlisle was working in the Northeast during the early part of the eighteen hundreds. He had a patient who could only pay him with moonshine. Carlisle was going to just let the guy off the hook on having to pay, but the patient insisted. So Carlisle had this moonshine that he really had no use for, but didn't think it was proper to just throw it out,' _Edward began.

'_Okay, so what did he do with it?' _I asked.

'_He was still rather young to this life, and his up bringing had never brought him in contact with alcohol before. He thought 'what the hell' and decided to give it a shot. The moonshine was pretty much tasteless, and it seemed to be having no effect on him.' _Edward continued, but there was a humorous tone to his thought.

'_Why do I get the feeling that this didn't end well?'_ I asked.

Edward laughed, and Carlisle looked over at us and I could feel his embarrassment. _'Turns out that it had a delayed reaction, he didn't get drunk, but very sick. Not more then ten minutes after drinking the moonshine his body violently rejected it.'_

'_Do you think we should tell the boys?'_ I asked, as I tried to keep from laughing.

'_Hell no!'_ Edward replied while laughing. I couldn't help but join in on his laughter.

"What are you two laughing about?" Riley asked as he down half a bottle of Everclear.

"Just a story about Carlisle's youthful days as a vampire," I replied. I turned to see Carlisle smiling.

"Seems that history shall repeat itself tonight," Carlisle said.

"As the saying goes, 'Those who don't learn from history are destined to repeat it.'," I add; and then burst out laughing along with Edward. A few seconds later the girls were all whispering and then snickering.

'_It would seem that most everyone, except for boys, knows about what's going to happen shortly,' _I remarked mentally to Edward.

'_Alice just had a vision of the three of them reacting to the alcohol. I think it's the Everclear that's going to do them in. It's almost hundred-percent alcohol,'_ Edward explained.

'_I noticed that it was quite strong,' _I replied.

I thought that it would be very important to save this moment for posterity. I pulled my camera out of my backpack and took a few snapshots of everyone. I made sure to get several of Emmett, Peter and Riley drinking.

"Jazzy, I want a copy of those pictures," Alice snickered.

"Rosalie, do you want any of these pictures?" I asked.

"No, I've got plenty of pictures with Emmett being an idiot," Rosalie replied.

"Alice, how much longer until… well you know?" Kate asked.

"Thirty seconds," Alice replied.

"Thirty seconds, until what?" Peter asked.

"Until history repeats itself," Alice replied.

Everyone's attention was now focused on the night's new entertainment as they finished chugging down another bottle. They were laughing and having a merry time.

"I don't feel so good," Riley said. From their expressions it appeared that Emmett and Peter were feeling about the same.

"Three, two, one . . .". Emmett ran for the edge of the building and spewed over the side just as Alice finished her count down. He was joined by Riley and Peter a few seconds later.

"I told you," Alice said, while shaking her head.

"I still can't believe that just happened," Rosalie replied with a sigh.

"I told you boys to behave, but did you listen? No, of course not," Esme scolded, which caused Edward and me to burst out laughing.

I turned back to see Emmett with a dazed look in his eyes, and Peter still looking a little green around the edges. During all this I was sure to take numerous pictures for the family photo album.

"Jasper, what are you doing?" Riley asked. He had the same dazed expression in his eyes that Emmett had.

"Just making sure that the three of you don't ever forget tonight," I replied with a grin.

"They all look sort of drunk," Carlisle commented as he observed Emmett, Peter and Riley. "What have they been drinking?"

"190-proof Everclear," I said.

"That's almost one hundred-percent alcohol," Carlisle replied. "I wonder if it is possible for us to get drunk when it's that pure?"

"Alcohol only has a mild effect on us, but I've never seen anyone react that way to it. Aro use to indulge with red wine on occasion. Carmen and I will occasionally have a glass when we attend the symphony. It is to my knowledge the only human _food_ that we can ingest_,_" Eleazar replied.

"So wine is okay for a vampire to drink?" I asked.

"So long as it is not drunk in excess then it should be fine. Carmen and I rarely have more then one glass. The effect is a very mild _buzz_ and it does dull the senses a bit," Eleazar answered, "The effect only last for a short time, no more then an hour."

"They actually feel kind of drunk, and sick," I said as I reached out and checked their emotions. I was quick to pull back from their emotions.

"Fascinating," Carlisle said.

"It's not fascinating. It's childish, immature and irresponsible," Rosalie said angrily. I couldn't really blame Rosalie for being angry. Alcohol had played a major role in how her human life had ended. I doubt that Emmett thought through his actions, but he'd face the consequences later.

"Just commenting on the results, not their behavior," Carlisle explained.

"I wonder if the blood from their hunt earlier is mixing with the alcohol to cause this effect." Edward reasoned.

"The blood would help our bodies absorb the alcohol, which could be why the reacted so violently. If our bodies absorbed too much of the alcohol this could be a reaction to remove the offensive substance," Eleazar said, "But much of how our bodies absorb and use blood is still a mystery. I've read several books from Aro's extensive library. They do not go into any details, but plenty of theories on the subject' on the subject of blood, not alcohol."

"It might be possible that with Deoxyribonucleic acid testing we could determine many of the unanswered questions about our species," Carlisle said.

"We'd have to do that kind of research ourselves. You wouldn't want humans getting a hold of this information and comparing it to their own genetic information," Edward said.

"Perhaps we should look at studying genetic research the next time we go to university," I said, while looking at Edward.

"I'll check into what schools would be best for that type of degree when we get back to Calgary," Edward replied.

"I am surprised to learn that wine does not have the same affect," Carlisle commented.

"There is much less alcohol in wine, then in the stuff they are drinking," Eleazar replied.

"The percentage of alcohol is the deciding factor in our reaction to it," Carmen added. "There are some benefits to drinking wine."

Carmen was giving Eleazar a rather intimate expression, and with the lust I felt in her emotions I quickly gathered what she was hinting at.

All this talk about the possibility of learning something new also had Carlisle feeling giddy as a school girl. It was also about this time that the three _children_ were back to normal. Emmett pulled another bottle out of his backpack, which royally pissed off Rosalie.

"Emmett, you've had enough," Rosalie said angrily.

"Rosie, we're just having fun," Emmett replied. It would appear that was the wrong thing to say. Rosalie was out of her seat and standing in front of Emmett a second later. She grabbed the opened bottle out of his hand and started dumping it out on the roof.

"Rosie!" Emmett said as he tried to reach for the bottle to stop her, but she just moved the bottle further out of his reach.

"You know I don't like alcohol, Emmett! I can't believe you'd be so stupid," Rosalie said, her voice raised. After she had finished emptying the bottle she chucked it aside and returned to her seat next to Alice. An awkward silence filled the air for the next several minutes.

"Its times like this that I'm happy I'm not mated," Tanya laughed trying to break the silence.

"You just like the freedom of having any man you want," Kate replied.

"Almost any man," Irina corrected. It was well known that Tanya favored Riley, but that he did not return her feelings. This had not deterred Tanya from pursuing him, but he had politely turned down her every advance.

"I like my men warm and soft," Tanya replied, but she was looking at Riley.

The crowd below began to count down the remaining time to the New Year. We watched as the ball began to drop. Edward and I joined in the count down and on zero we kissed passionately.

"Happy New Year, Edward."

"Happy New Year, Jasper."

The close of one year and the start of another was like closing the book on one chapter of my life and starting another. Edward has been my rock through this long, but rewarding journey. Forty years ago I was lost, struggling and felt like there was no where to go. Life was an existence that seemed determined to break me. Then an angel shows up and leads me out of my depression, and to a life of happiness.

'_You helped me too,'_ Edward projected via his thoughts.

'_We helped each other,' _I replied, and then wrapped an arm around Edward and we rested our heads together.

"I love you, Jazz."

"Love you too, Edward."


End file.
